I miss you, like everyday
Wanna be with you, but youre away
Said I miss you, missing you insane
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?

Words dont ever seem to come out right
But I still mean them, why is that?
It hurts my pride to tell you how I feel
But I still need to, why is that?

----

“What do you think of this colour?” Mercedes held up an indigo blue scarf against her face, turning to Kurt. 

He tilted his head slightly, and then nodded. “I like it. It's a good, rich colour for you.” 

Nodding, Mercedes went to the cash desk to purchase it, and returned to Kurt, winding it around her neck. “I'm wearing it now. I feel like I've been cold for the last three days.” 

Kurt nudged her shoulder. “L.A. is thinning your blood. You can't handle Ohio winters anymore.”

She met his teasing glance as they continued down the mall. “San Francisco is pretty warm too. Aren't you feeling cold here too?” 

“Hardly. You know how many layers I wear. I actually feel more comfortable here.” Kurt noticed the café didn't look too busy, and steered Mercedes there. 

Settling down with their hot drinks, Mercedes wrapped her hands around the cup and took a long sip. “So, how has this visit back gone for you?” 

Kurt thought about it as he met Mercedes' pretty dark eyes. “Well, I always like seeing my Dad and Carole, helping out around the shop and the house. Hanging out with you and other glee people. But it doesn't feel like home anymore, know what I mean?” 

She nodded slowly. “Yeah, I get that feeling too. But I've been in L.A. for about ten years now. You keep moving around! Where's home for you if it isn't here?”

Taking a sip of his mocha, Kurt took a moment. “Hmmmm…. Well, as much as I love Paris and like living there, I don't think I'll ever completely fit in and feel like a Parisian. I'm still an American in my heart.” 

“How about New York? You were there, what, five years?” Mercedes had come out for many visits while he'd lived there.

Kurt nodded. “Yeah, six years in total. But I'm not pursuing singing anymore, so there's no real reason to live there.” 

Mercedes bit her lip, seeing that Kurt was feeling a bit lost. Even far away, they had kept in good contact over the years, sharing each other's successes and challenges, cheering each other on. She had been more successful working as a singer, working steadily now. It hadn't worked as well for Kurt on Broadway and she totally understood when he'd decided to leave New York. 

“Kurt, I'm glad you are living in Paris. Just as a way to shake yourself up. You've been kind of drifting since you moved to San Francisco.” She reached across the table and gave his wrist a squeeze. “You are in Paris a few more months. It's a good time to really think about what you want to do with the next chapter of your life.” 

Looking at his friend, Kurt took a deep breath and decided to bring up a sensitive topic. “There's something else to consider lately… I've been seeing someone.” He was embarrassed to feel his face heat a little as he confessed it, and dipped his head down to take a sip of his drink. 

“Oh really? That's great! A French guy?” Mercedes smiled widely, at seeing Kurt's shy expression. “Tell me all about him.”

It felt weird to talk about Blaine. He hadn't brought him up with his other friends here or with his family. It was just so new. But he could trust Mercedes to keep his confidence. “He's not French. Remember that guy I was hanging out with a lot during the summer before I went to France?” 

Mercedes' brow came down in concentration, trying to remember. “That young guy you were helping out? Didn't his name start with a B…”

“That's right. Blaine. Well, we were good friends in the summer, hanging out together a lot, and there was chemistry between us but…” Kurt tried to find the right words to explain what had happened. 

“But…” Mercedes encouraged him to continue, curious now.

Kurt sighed. “He was interested in an older guy he worked with. I was kind of a dating coach, a lifestyle coach, to help him get that guy. So nothing happened between us, not really, back then.”

Mercedes chuckled. “ ‘Not really'… hmmmm… I think that's code for some stuff happening. But I'll let it pass for now. So, when did things change?” 

“Last weekend we ran into each other. It turns out he dated that other guy a bit, but it didn't work out. And you know…” Kurt took another hasty drink of his mocha, which had cooled off a lot. 

“It worked out with you instead. Hmmmm…” Mercedes laughing, shaking her head. It was nice seeing Kurt blushing a bit as he talked about this. She hadn't seen him this affected over a guy for a long time. “So, you were with him a few days before you came out here and you are going to see him when you go back, and then what?” 

Kurt nodded, meeting her eyes. “That's exactly what I'm confused about. We were close friends before, and now suddenly he's saying we are boyfriends and I'm not freaking out about it or anything. We're talking about the future. That's not like me.” 

“Woah. You have a boyfriend? And you didn't call and tell me?” Mercedes bugged her friend. 

Reaching down, Kurt played with the zipper of his coat. “Well, we've been kind of busy…”

Mercedes almost did a spit take of her coffee at that comment. “Kurt Elizabeth Hummel! You've been too busy having sex to call me? Wow!” 

Blushing, Kurt glanced around to see if the other customers sitting nearby had heard her. “Mercedes! Would you keep the volume down when discussing my sex life?” 

She just grinned broadly at him. “OK. Give me some details and I'll behave.” 

Rolling his eyes at his old friend, Kurt couldn't help but smile back. He let out a small huff. “Well, you remember how he's younger than me, right? I forgot what that can be like. We barely left his bed for two days, just leaving for a few hours to hang out with his friend, before rushing back again. And somewhere in that lust haze, he called me his boyfriend and I liked it. And I suggested he come visit me in Paris in February.” 

Mercedes sat back, giving him an assessing look. “But you seem happy about it, even if things happened fast, Kurt.” 

“Am I being crazy? Jumping into things with him like this?” Kurt's eyes were wide, lacking his usual confidence. This whole thing with Blaine had totally thrown him off.

She shrugged. “Well, you are both consenting adults, getting into this with your eyes open. Why not give it a chance, see what will come of it? You hung out with him enough in the summer to know him pretty well as a friend. Give it a chance now to see if it will work as a relationship.”

Kurt nodded at her advice, agreeing. It was scary, but it was exciting too. And he'd missed Blaine the past few days, even though they had talked a couple times on the phone and shared a lot of flirty texts. 

What was the worst that could happen? They would give it a go, and maybe it would fizzle eventually. But that was true of any relationship.

Getting up, Mercedes cleared their cups to the garbage bin. “Well, you are this gaga over him after only a few days. What will you be like by the time you go back to Paris?” 

As Kurt followed Mercedes out of the café, he wondered that as well. They went back to shopping the after Christmas sales, chatting the whole time. 

But a part of Kurt's mind was thinking that in about two days, he'd be back in San Francisco. Counting the hours until he would see Blaine again. Until he could kiss and hold him again. Explore his body until he made those wonderful, low moans. See the smile in his eyes each morning when Kurt leaned over to give him a kiss.

Damn. He had it bad.

----
Disclaimer: I own nothing.