Say What You Need to Say
deedeeloris
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Say What You Need to Say: Chapter 11


M - Words: 1,648 - Last Updated: Aug 23, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 11/? - Created: May 07, 2013 - Updated: Aug 23, 2013
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Author's Notes: Thanks to all my lovely readers still with me! I know I'm terrible at updates! And thank you for all the lovely reviews!
Chapter 11
Blaine didn't know entirely what was happening at the moment but he knew that he didn't want it to stop. The feeling of Kurt's lips against his own was so overwhelming that he almost gave in to it. Almost. He managed to pull himself away from the immensely enticing lips and held Kurt's face gently, shaking his head while his sad eyes looked into Kurt's desperate ones.
Kurt dropped his hands from Blaine's face and took a step back. Blaine knew that this is what he wanted. He needed Kurt to move away from him. But it still hurt more than words could express because being close to Kurt was all he had been craving for weeks now.
"You're a coward." Kurt said harshly, moving back to the bed and gathering all of his things, shoving them angrily into his bag. "You like me just as much as I like you and you're just too afraid to act on it because you're a coward. You think I can't handle you being sick and that it will only make things worse but you're fucking wrong. You need someone right now. You need me and you're pushing me away." Kurt slung his bag over his shoulder, not sure if his rant was even making sense. Not that he cared; it was making him feel better which was really all that mattered at the moment. "If you really don't need me then I guess I have no reason to be here anymore."
Blaine groaned and signed back. 'You know that's not what this is. I just don't want you getting hurt!'
Kurt shook his head. "I can take care of myself, Blaine." He said coldly as he walked out door.
Blaine could have followed him. He probably should have. But he didn't. He just crawled into bed and screamed into a pillow before bursting into tears. But he knew he was doing the right thing because Kurt deserved someone better. He deserved someone who had a time to spend with him. Not someone who was ready to kill over any second.

The next week went by agonizingly slow. Kurt hadn't spoken to Blaine since the day he stormed out of his room. He knew they had their presentation coming up soon so they would have to have some type of interaction but Kurt was avoiding it.
But even though he was mad at Blaine he still missed him. Every time he saw the boy from across the classroom or cafeteria he felt like crying. Blaine had very quickly become one of his best friends. He still had Rachel but she got annoying pretty quickly.
He figured it would take a couple weeks but soon he would be able to get back into the way things were before Blaine had showed up.

Blaine was a mess.
He knew Kurt shouldn't be able to have such an effect on him but he couldn't help it. Before Kurt, Blaine didn't have any friends here. And there was no way he could deny the fact that the two of them had made a connection.
Kurt never judged him and never made him feel like he was different from anyone else. Which, in his situation, was everything Blaine desired. He wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing. It sure as hell didn't feel like the right thing. But he knew that letting Kurt get closer and closer to him would only make it worse for Kurt when Blaine's body finally decided to stop fighting.
Part of Blaine knew that Kurt was right. He deserved to make his own decisions. Blaine was conflicted.
On Friday night Sophie was lounged on the foot of his bed like usual. He was also drawing her like usual. And like usual, he wasn't really succeeding.
Unlike usual, Sophie had a conversation that she seemed to have been thinking about for awhile. "Blaine, why hasn't Kurt been over at all this week?" She asked curiously.
Blaine looked up, shocked by the question that seemed to come out of nowhere. Kurt and Sophie had gotten along really well the past couple weeks. Whenever Kurt came over to help with the project or the times he had come over just because, Sophie rarely left his side. It always took Kurt explaining to her that once they got done with their school work they would come out and the three of them could watch a movie or play a game, but that she couldn't actually participate in the school work portion of his stay. He grabbed the white board next to him and wrote back a short response. 'He's been busy.'
Sophie scrunched her face up and tilted it to the side. Blaine should have known that this little girl was smarter than that. "But the other day he walked out and he was really mad and then he never came back. Did you guys get in a fight?"
Blaine sighed. Why did she always have to be so perceptive? 'We argued a bit and he's kind of mad at me now.'
"Blaine, what did you do?" She accused quickly.
Blaine laughed slightly at her tone and wrote back, 'Nothing. We just had a disagreement.'
Sophie nodded, but still seemed very confused. "Does this mean that you're not boyfriends anymore?"
Blaine's eyebrows shot up. He silently wondered where she got the idea of him and Kurt being boyfriends from. 'We weren't boyfriends.'
Sophie frowned and shrugged. "Well you should be. Kurt's really pretty. And I can tell he likes you."
Blaine smiled a little, amused by her omnipotent tone. This girl was honestly, way too smart for her age. 'What makes you say that?'
"He was always looking at you and stuff." She said with a nonchalant shrug.
Blaine frowned in thought. Maybe Sophie was the perfect one to talk to about this. She was simple minded due to her age, but still intelligent enough to discuss it. 'Don't you think that if Kurt was my boyfriend he would be sad because I'm so sick?'
Sophie read it and rolled her eyes. "Blaine, he's going to be sad to see you sick anyways. Just because you're sick doesn't mean I would rather have some different brother who wasn't sick."
Blaine set the board down beside him and nodded, going back to his drawing. This little girl had given him a lot to think about.

Blaine gave it the weekend before finally deciding. He wanted to give Kurt a chance. He wanted to try this. If Kurt was okay with it and Kurt thought he could handle it then Blaine was willing to do this. Quite honestly he was tired of feeling so isolated all the time because he was constantly pushing others away from him. He had feelings for Kurt and Kurt clearly returned them. It was time to take a chance and just jump into something, for once not worrying about the consequences his illness would bring.
Monday morning he walked through the halls nervously. He really hoped Kurt would talk to him. After all, they hadn't had any type of contact in a week. Kurt hadn't even tried to text him. He froze when he saw Kurt standing at his locker. Blaine took a deep breath and walked forward timidly.
When Kurt looked up at him the boy's expression moved from neutral to complete rage. "What are you trying to be my friend again? Because, I honestly don't think I can handle being friends with someone on their death bed." The remark was sarcastic and Blaine knew that Kurt was mocking him. Blaine sighed and looked around at the crowd of people around them. He spotted a classroom that he knew was empty in the mornings and pulled Kurt towards it. "Blaine, what are-"
Blaine pulled Kurt inside and shut the door behind them. He turned to Kurt who looked confused and still very put out. 'I want to be with you.'
Kurt raised an eyebrow, clearly unfazed. "Oh really, because a week ago when I was practically throwing myself at you, you seemed to think differently."
Blaine looked down and back up, biting his lip. 'You were right. I am a coward. I live my life afraid. Afraid that I'm going to hurt all the people I care about. I don't want to be scared anymore.'
Kurt rolled his eyes, his resolve starting to falter. "You can't just suddenly decide when you are and aren't interested in me. And how can you just come in here with the idea that I'm still interested. For all you know I already have a boyfriend, one who actually lets me think for myself and maybe I'm already completely over-"
Kurt wasn't able to finish his sentence because Blaine had pressed his lips to Kurt's. Both of them were shocked by this. Blaine, not thinking he would ever do something so bold. And Kurt... well, there really needs no explanation as to why he was shocked.
And the kiss was... amazing, even more amazing that Kurt or Blaine remembered the first one to be. Their lips seemed to mold together perfectly and the forcefulness of the kiss faded quickly, being replaced by a softer and gentler kiss that made both boys sigh in content.
When Blaine finally found the strength to pull away he looked up at Kurt, hoping that he hadn't just ruined everything by practically attacking Kurt's mouth. When Kurt smiled a little breathlessly Blaine couldn't help but do the same.
"You're using some really unfair tactics, Anderson." He said lightly.
Blaine grinned and shrugged innocently.
"Maybe we could talk about this..." Kurt said, Blaine smiling hopefully and nodding. Maybe this was all going to be okay after all.

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