Compunction

How strange. Candles. Blaine’s grin spread across his face as he gripped several candlesticks in his hands then set them around the balcony, not as decoratively as Kurt but judging by the amount of candles bought, it wouldn’t matter. Once Kurt finished adjusting the candles, he pulled the lighter from his pocket. He then struggled to set it aflame, twisting the lighter in his hands and scrunching up his face in frustration. Blaine chuckled and wrapped his hand around Kurt’s that held the lighter noticing Kurt tensing at the touch. He then pressed his thumb on the metal scroll and dragged it down while pressing a red button below the scroll sending a flame of orange yellow light from the plastic tube. Kurt let out a breathy laugh and retracted his hand from Blaine’s, “Thanks”.

Blaine smiled brightly, “No problem, Kurt”.

The designer lit each candle then set the lighter on the table and began rubbing his tired thumb that held the lighter. He turned around to see Blaine lying on the wooden balcony and joined him concentrating on the stars sprinkled across the sky. There was a light breeze sending some of the flickering candles to go out. Kurt sat up reaching for the lighter but Blaine rested a hand on the other man’s chest, “Just lay down”. Kurt hesitantly lay back down and stared at the dark navy sky with puffy clouds drifting across the night. Blaine hummed with a smile, intertwined his hands and rested them on his stomach. “Do you ever think about how small we are?” he asked randomly.

Kurt shifted his head towards Blaine and furrowed his eyebrows, “What do you mean?” There was a pause, just enough time to notice a shooting star falling across the sky.

“Looking up at the stars, it just- it makes me think about all of those planets out there and how they are so much bigger than the Sun. At least the planets outside of our solar system. I think about how many hundreds of thousands of solar systems out there with these massive planets that make the Sun seem like an ant. It’s- well, it’s unbelievable to think of how small we really are”.

Kurt lifted himself on his elbow and faced the other man, “How small are we?”

Blaine smiled and looked back at Kurt, “Smaller than a grain of sand, smaller than a single atom, so small that there isn’t even a measurement small enough to compare to those planets, we’re off the scale”.

Kurt lay back down and fiddled with his thumbs, “I can’t afford to think like that, it makes me feel like life has no purpose”.

Blaine shook his head and let out a long sigh, “You have no idea how important we are. Every person is unique and destined to perform some sort of creative activity that will change our world after us. Right now, it feels like the point of our life is to survive and keep the human race going, but that’s not right. Our purpose is to find who we are and use our natural talents to create ideas for a better world. You may not know it when you’re creating designs for clothes, but you may have discovered a miraculous new stitching style that can help our military perform tasks in safer and more durable uniforms. Simple things like that are so important… who you are and what you do is important. Maybe thinking like that can be distracting but we kind of need to be aware of it, yeah?”

Kurt blinked and rolled to his side staring at Blaine, “I suppose, but I honestly just make clothes for the art of it”.

“Kurt, that’s fine because you’re also changing the future’s art without even knowing it”. Kurt shifted slightly as Blaine scooted closer to him, “What made you interested in designing?”

Kurt breathed lightly while he thought of an answer still watching the other man closely, “One day, I was sketching in my notepad and for some reason I kept creating outlines of people. Being that I was already interested in clothes, it was inevitable that drawing the people’s outfits became an art. I would imagine how it would feel for someone wearing it or walking down a runway in it. I called them my ‘dream outfits’. The outfits that I wanted to come to life. After the day you helped me create one of my sketches, I got hooked. The way the fabrics felt stitching them together into something someone can wear. I love it. I always have. It just took a while for me to realize that singing or playing the piano just wasn’t meant to be”. Kurt smiled to himself then showed a small frown as he thought of the situation they were in.

What happened? This wasn’t the same Blaine. Or at least, the Blaine he remembered. Something just opened. Kurt found that this strange supportive man turned into more than just a hot body. Blaine looked at things like some sort of art. Everything. And for some reason, Kurt wanted to see the same way. To take in the small things and pay attention to, instead of the big picture, the things combined to make it. How Blaine’s thick eyelashes would flicker when he smiled, the way his skin around his eyes would crease when he laughed. The way his warm hands would wrap around his pale palm. My God, we’re holding hands, Kurt thought widening his eyes watching closely to Blaine’s hazel eyes that dazzled even in the darkest of hours. He smiled lightly as Blaine sat up with Kurt. Why was this so comfortable? They used to spend sleepovers holding hands and watching show tunes. They even slept in the same bed but this was different. He never felt pains in his chest when he watched Blaine years ago. But why now? Why now did he have to feel his stomach pull in five different directions as Blaine held his hand? It- it’s just a hand. I very warm hand. A very smooth… okay, Kurt, enough.

“So, what are you going to do now that you quit?” Kurt asked.

“Work for you for now. I still don’t really know what to do, but, being a model for you is enough at this moment,” Blaine answered staring at the balcony floor.

“Why?” Kurt asked still not letting go of his hand.

“Why what?”

“Why is being my model is enough?”

“Well, I get to work with you and help you out while I try to find out what my purpose is,” Blaine answered dropping his head a little lower.

“Do you want me to help you find it?” Kurt asked squeezing his hand.

“You would?” Blaine smiled lifting his head to meet his eyes.

Kurt’s heart stopped. Yes, stopped, as he grinned back just as bright, “Of course”.

Blaine rested his free hand on their intertwined hands, “Thank you, Kurt”. He then cleared his throat and shook his head, “We should, uh, go to bed. Tomorrow the models come”.

Kurt dropped his smile then nodded, “Yeah, you’re right”.

They stood and began blowing out the candles as Blaine sang lightly. This always happened. It wouldn’t matter what year it was, Kurt was always captivated my Blaine’s talented voice. It was soulful, powerful yet careful.

“Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright”

Blaine blew the last candle out and pulled Kurt’s hand they still kept intertwined and took him into a tight hug listening to the sound of traffic below them. Kurt hugged around his torso while Blaine squeezed around Kurt’s shoulders. Blaine backed away slightly still keeping his arms wrapped around Kurt’s neck while Kurt placed his hands on Blaine’s hips feeling a jolt of electricity through his veins. Kurt stared into Blaine’s eyes that remained firmly connected to his. They stayed like that for a long minute until they heard a knock on the glass back door. They whipped their heads to the door seeing Quinn scowling at them and gesturing them to go to bed. They pulled apart and shuffled into the hotel leaving the candles outside.

“Night, Kurt,” Blaine whispered stopping in front of his door and giving Kurt a small smile. The other man bit his lip and nodded slipping into his own room to go to bed. That was it. He climbed into bed and stared at the ceiling restlessly mentally slapping himself for not doing anything. What did you want? Kurt thought to himself, a ki- no, no, no. Uh oh. We may have a problem.

Blaine tossed in his sleep then sat up in his bed. He has got it bad. Kurt was honestly the only thing on his mind. He tossed off the covers and slipped out of bed and left his room to return to the balcony and stared at the breathtaking stars the flickered among the darkly painted sky. He turned his head and saw Kurt sleepily step next to him and rest his head on Blaine’s shoulder. The other man nudged him lightly, “Do you want to dance?”

Kurt looked up at him then had a smile playing on his lips, *** “Sure”. Blaine turned to face him, gently lifting his head from his shoulder then wrapped his hand into Kurt’s, laying his arm around Kurt’s waist until they settled in the same tempo, swaying from side to side as Blaine looked at him closely and began to sing.

“Poets often use many words
To say a simple thing.
It takes thought and time and rhyme
To make a poem sing.

With music and words I've been playing
For you, I have written a song.
To be sure that you'll know what I'm saying, 
I'll translate as I go along...”

Kurt rested his head on Blaine’s shoulder, lazily dancing along, melting at the words sung to him.

“Fly me to the moon, 
And let me play among the stars. 
Let me see what spring is like 
On Jupiter and Mars.

In other words,
Hold my hand. 
In other words, 
Darling, kiss me.”

Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine’s neck before listening more.

“Fill my heart with song,
And let me sing forever more.
You are all I long for,
All I worship and adore.

In other words,
Please be true. 
In other words, 
I love you.”

Blaine swayed closer, making sure his head touched next to Kurt’s as they stared at the sky. The candles still surrounding them, the vague sound of traffic below, the light breeze cooling their skin. His heart beat faster once he realized he’d just admitted that he loved him, but bit back a smile once he found that Kurt wasn’t pulling away. Kurt hummed with the interlude, sighing into Blaine’s warm arms, leaving Blaine to support his body weight. He hesitantly kissed short pecks down Kurt’s jaw line then pulled back to take one look at Kurt’s dazed face before he experimentally pressed a light kiss to Kurt’s begging parted lips. The other man hummed in contentment lowered his head to Blaine’s shoulder allowing Blaine to finish the song.

“Fill my heart with song,
And let me sing forever more. 
You are all I long for,
All I worship and adore.

In other words
Please be true.
In other words,
I love you.”

Kurt pulled back, his face calm and wanting. Blaine leaned forward, his lips barely touching the other man’s, “I love you,” he sung again.

Blaine rubbed his eyes into consciousness then cursed under his breath for it not being real. He rolled on his side then groaned in frustration. He wasn't tired. At all.

Kurt rolled onto his side trying to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in. But he literally spent the last 4 hours tossing and turning, slapping and growling, until he finally just gave up, whipping the covers off of him and stomped out of bed. He was too exhausted and angry to pull on a shirt; he just opened his bedroom door and stepped out onto the balcony ignoring the chills from the winter morning harshly hitting him. He groggily crossed the balcony and held the railing that overlooked the city. He wiped at his eyes and groaned at how sensitive he was acting. Thankfully it was dark out so he didn’t need to squint through the foggy morning but even the littlest noise sent him jumping. “What are you doing?”

Kurt turned his head towards the voice only to see a sleepy Blaine laying on the floor and staring at the stars. Figures. “Just trying to wake up after sleeping didn’t really work,” Kurt mumbled not seeming to care about his shirtless chest. Blaine seemed to not care either judging by his bare chest as well. Fuck. Was it possible to get horny this early? Kurt thought staring at the well defined muscles scattered across Blaine’s bare chest.

“Me too,” Blaine whispered rubbing his eyes and set his half eaten don’t onto a table. He then stood up and walked next to Kurt letting out a brief chuckle, “What happened to your shirt?”

“What happened to yours?”

“Touché,” Blaine smiled playfully poking at Kurt’s stomach.

“Hey!” Kurt shouted crossing his arms.

“Sorry, I just couldn’t help to notice how pale you are,” Blaine laughed poking at Kurt again.

Kurt’s cheeks flushed as he stabbed a finger into Blaine’s chest.

“Ouch!” Blaine laughed reaching out both hands to tickle Kurt.

“No, no, no!” Kurt giggled shoving Blaine away but not succeeding.

Blaine’s curls seemed to loosen and rumple as he laughed and pushed the other man to the ground and continued to tickle him. Kurt crossed his arms to make Blaine stop but the other man only wrapped his hands around Kurt’s wrists and pulled them away from his body revealing his bare chest. Blaine’s laughs faded into a soft, “Oh”. Kurt stared up at his with wide eyes trying to wrap his head around what was going on but was so distracted by this man breathing heavily on top of him. “What?”
Kurt snapped out of his fantasies and tried to supply him an answer.

“Do I have something on my face?” Blaine asked loosening his grip on Kurt’s wrists.

“Yes,” Kurt answered breathlessly.

“Where?” Blaine asked letting go of Kurt’s wrists and touching a hand to his own face.

“Right,” Kurt said, his heart leaping out of his chest as he lifted himself closer to Blaine, “there,” he whispered pressing his lips to Blaine’s mouth, licking off the clump of chocolate that clung to his lips. The sweet taste of chocolate and Blaine hitting his tongue as he deepened the kiss once he felt Blaine not pulling away.

“Kurt!”

Kurt moaned into the kiss cradling Blaine’s head with his hands.

“KURT!”

He snapped his head up from the pillows to see an angry Quinn standing by the door, her hair wet after just coming out of a shower. Shit. He just had a dream about Blaine. “Get up; the models will be here in less than two hours!” Quinn shouted slamming the door shut. Kurt flopped his head back into his pillows wiping a trail of drool that covered his chin. He tried to settle his breathing after the exciting dream. Geez, exciting? Try supermegafoxyawesomehot. Kurt once again whipped his covers from his legs and stomped out of the bed. Maybe a shower will clear his head. Nope. It only resulted in him jerking off as the warm droplets of water pelted against his back thinking about the chocolaty dream he just had. Yup. Today was going to be a great day.

Ugh. These models think they’re so cute but they really aren’t. Maybe he was thinking so negatively because Blaine was engaging in a conversation with one of them. But other than that, the outfits fit, the models like them, so can they get out of them and leave his hotel room? No? Fine, but Kurt really didn’t want to watch Blaine flirting with them maybe even tickle them. God. Chocolate. Kurt sighed and stripped off the measurement strap that was draped around his neck and turned to Quinn, “How long is this supposed to be?”

Quinn set down her cup of coffee and crossed her arms, “I don’t know, maybe another 20 minutes? I just want a sandwich”.

“You’re always hungry,” Kurt laughed and glanced at one of the models who tipped her head back and giggled from one of Blaine’s jokes and set her hand on his shoulder. The curly headed man leaned in next to her ear to whisper something, the girl smiled then began taking off Kurt’s dress, putting on her own outfit, and then chatted with the other models that were doing the same. Blaine crossed the room and tapped Kurt’s shoulder. “Yeah?”

Blaine dropped his head in embarrassment, “Uhm, the models told me that I need to have my own designer tuxedo for the after party on the night of the fashion show”.

Kurt nodded and started hanging his outfits on a rack, “Yeah, do you need me to call a designer or something for it?”

Blaine shook his head and reached out to touch one of the outfits, “Well, they said I need a tux from my favorite designer”.

“Who’s your favorite designer, I could get you one or something?” Kurt asked stacking the last outfit on the rack.

Blaine lifted his head and fiddled with the tie around his neck, “Well, uhm, if you’re not busy, I was hoping that my tuxedo would be designed by you”.

Kurt dropped his hands in shock and licked his lips absently. “Yeah,” he smiled, “I’d love to”.

The curly headed man grinned and hung up one of the outfits he wore earlier on the rack, “Thank you”.

Kurt bit his lip and watched the models leave the hotel room. One of the ladies stopped and patted Blaine on the shoulder, “It was nice chatting with you,” before following the other girls out of the room. Blaine laughed to himself then pulled off his tux jacket, hung it on a hanger, then put it on the rack with the rest.

Kurt sighed tiredly and looked up at Blaine, “So, what did you have in mind about the tux?”

Blaine slammed his beer with a loud clank and lifted a hand towards the waiter, “Juss one more!” Kurt giggled holding tightly to his margarita and sipping it with a little more caution. “Kuuurrrrrt,” the other man cooed, his mind buzzing.

Kurt slammed his margarita down, though clearly it was not empty and whaled, “Juss one mo’!” Blaine chuckled lifting his newly filled beer to his lips and gulping it down.

“Kuuurrrrt, it’s important!” Blaine whined scooting closer to Kurt.

“What?” Kurt snapped then giggled sipping at his beverage.

“I want a dragon on my tux”.

Blaine stood with his arms spaced out as Kurt lightly draped fabric over his body and pinned the pieces together to fit Blaine’s exact figure, “I can’t believe you really put a- a dragon on it”.

Kurt laughed and tugged on the outline of a purple dragon the covered the left side of the suit, “Well, you asssked nicely,” he answered smiling and stitching together the fabrics he pinned down.

Blaine looked down at the dragon and made a roar playfully and watched Kurt sewing. “I can’t sew anything when you’re staring at me like that”.

Blaine scrunched up his face and stared ahead instead, “Fine,” he sighed. After Kurt stitched the rest of the suit together, he began sewing purple buttons on the black jacket then straightened and looked at the tired Blaine.

“So, how was that model?” Kurt asked facing directly in front of him while finishing last minute touches.

“Mindy? Uhm, she’s… sweet, I guess,” Blaine watched Kurt prick himself with the needle and cursing under his breath.

Kurt straightened and sucked on his pricked finger, “Aw you gonna dake her on-a dake?” he asked around the finger.

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows then let out a laugh, “She’s nice, but I had to decline her request and tell her I’m not on her team”.

Kurt widened his eyes, heart beating faster, “You’re nok whak?” he asked with his finger still in his mouth.

Blaine grabbed Kurt’s wrist and pulled him closer, taking Kurt’s finger out of his mouth. He then planted a kiss on the pricked finger, “I’m not on her team, Kurt”.

Kurt stepped closer, his chest touching Blaine’s as the other man tightened his grip around Kurt’s hand. Kurt's head was spinning from the alcohol. He felt a pull of confidence then lifted his head and pressed his lips to Blaine’s. Blaine gasped then Kurt quickly pulled away. Blaine shook his head and cupped Kurt’s cheeks and crushed his lips into his. Kurt melted into the kiss using an equal amount of force as Blaine, dragging his lips across Blaine’s. He then slid his tongue into Blaine’s mouth that seemed to be very inviting but have the taste of alcohol strongly clinging onto it. He lapped his tongue around Blaine’s mouth and pressed his body into Blaine to have an easier access to every inch of Blaine’s mouth. The curly headed man moaned and began unbuttoning Kurt’s vest with shaking hands. Kurt left the kiss with a wet smack, “Blaine,” Kurt groaned furiously attaching his lips to the other mans and unbuttoning Blaine’s collared shirt.

“You’re my dragon, Kurt,” Blaine squeaked out kneading his hands across Kurt’s now bare chest. Kurt smiled against his lips and searched Blaine’s chest with his hands as well then backed Blaine up into his bedroom. Blaine gasped and shut the door behind them and locked the door pushing Kurt onto the bed. Kurt’s veins buzzed from the alcohol as he clung onto Blaine and slammed their lips together as Blaine unbuttoned Kurt’s pants and slid them down his legs. Kurt pushed Blaine’s sweatpants down then threw his arms around Blaine’s neck deepening the kiss, smacking lips, flying tongues, clanking teeth, not the most steady kiss, but more forced than anything. Blaine rocked his hips into Kurt’s then gasped and giggled, “Oops”. He tugged Kurt’s briefs off then sensitively explored Kurt’s skin with his hands. “You’re so pretty,” he smiled watching Kurt’s porcelain skin gleam in the moonlit room. His erection throbbed, a shiny drop of pre cum running down the slit of the head. Blaine dipped his head down and licked the slit, giggled, and watched as Kurt shivered under it.

“J- Just, p-please,” Kurt moaned fisting his hands into the sheets as Blaine lowered his head and languidly licked at the tip of Kurt’s cock. He licked a trail from the balls to the tip with added pressure then wrapped his lips around Kurt’s head. Kurt dug his heels into the bed, letting it creak from the movement. Blaine dipped down lower, taking it in further, hollowing his cheeks as Kurt let out moans and lifted his hips into Blaine’s mouth. Blaine moaned around his cock, the vibrations sending Kurt to shout out in pleasure, tilting his head, arching his back and breathing in shorter breaths. “F-f-fuck, s-so good,” Kurt groaned threading one of his hands into Blaine’s curls. Blaine slipped his lips up and down his cock, applying more pressure and moaning at the perfect times speeding up the tempo as Kurt shouted out in ecstasy arching his back sharper and whimpering from pleasure. Feeling Kurt’s stomach tighten under his hands, Blaine swallowed the come around him and pulled off with a faint pop and crawled up the bed. He hung over Kurt, his head elongated to kiss Kurt deeply, slipping his tongue into Kurt’s mouth letting him taste himself. Kurt bit Blaine’s bottom lip as they pulled off and Blaine collapsed next to him. Blaine palmed himself through his briefs as Kurt curled into the sheets and drifted off to sleep. His eyes closed, lips parted, sweat still gleaming on his forehead. His comfort was contagious. Seeing Kurt like this immediately set Blaine over the edge. He cleaned himself off then climbed into the covers with Kurt. They didn’t wrap each other in their arms, no ‘I love you’s’, no snuggles, no spoons, just sleep. On different sides of the bed. If that’s not the worst way to admit you’ve deeply in love with someone for 8 years, what is?

“Shit,” Blaine whispered.