Oct. 20, 2012, 1:52 p.m.
Tormented: Chapter 18
E - Words: 1,232 - Last Updated: Oct 20, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 38/38 - Created: Dec 18, 2011 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022 1,732 0 2 0 0
That's when he realized Kurt hadn't moved and wasn't kissing back.
That's when he remembered why he looked after Kurt in the first place.
He pulled away quickly, shocked. He looked straight into Kurt's eyes, desperate for everything to be okay, because he had just kissed him on the spur of the moment without knowing if it was okay. And considering what landed Kurt in Dalton, it was a stupid move.
Kurt's eyes were filled with fear. But they were also blank.
Blaine didn't have to think too hard to know that Kurt was having a flashback.
Blaine's hand jumped up to cover his mouth in shock. He had made Kurt have a flashback.
"Oh my god." Blaine started shaking, feeling guilty. He wanted to reach out and comfort Kurt but he couldn't. Because he had done this. And he didn't want to fuck up even more by freaking Kurt out by holding him.
By the time the blankness left Kurt's eyes, Blaine was trying to hold back tears.
The whole room was silent. Staring in shock.
Kurt was crying. Mainly from fear of what he'd just experienced. Again. Because of Blaine.
The thoughts running through Blaine's head made him angry. He was always fucking up and doing things wrong. And Kurt always ended up hurt because of his actions.
"Kurt." Blaine's voice cracked. "I'm so sorry. You were just there and I- we were - Fuck." Blaine looked down, ashamed. The anger inside him grew. The anger at himself. He turned away from Kurt, unsure of what to do with himself. His back was facing the New Directions and all he saw ahead of him were bookshelves. His fists were clenched at his side and tears were falling down his cheeks.
He stumbled over to the shelves and slammed his fists against them hard. "I'm such a FUCK UP!" He spoke loud and clear, not caring who heard him, as he slammed his fists against them again. He spun around with his eyes squeezed together tightly and his hands pulling at his hair, ripping it from it's gel cage.
"Blaine?" It was Wes who spoke.
"SHUT UP!" Blaine yelled and let himself slide down so he sat on the floor. He sensed movement in front of him and knew someone was kneeling there. He opened his eyes slowly, shocked to see Kurt there. His expression was blank.
"Kurt. I am so fucking sorry. I fucked up. Again. I'm always fucking everything up and I make everything worse and I-"
It hurt. It stung. But it took a little tiny bit of the guilt away. Like it was punishment he deserved.
He lifted his hand to caress his recently slapped cheek, poking gently at the sensitive skin.
"I deserved that." He mumbled, looking down to avoid Kurt's eyes. "I'm so stupid, Kurt. I deserved more than that. It's not like I do anyone any good anyway. I might as well throw myself off a cliff."
"Shut up. Now." Kurt spoke sternly, but his voice was shaky and it didn't have that much effect. But Blaine stayed silent anyway. "If i'm not aloud to think like that, neither are you..." Kurt was silent for a minute, as was the rest of the room, watching in shock. "I can't believe you did that Blaine." Blaine sniffled, rubbing his eyes to get rid of tears.
"Kurt, I'm so sorry-"
"You shouldn't of done it."
"I know. I'm sorry-"
"Blaine. It... You of all people should have known that that was a stupid thing to do."
"I know! I'm sorry Kurt-"
"It reminded me Blaine. You're supposed to be helping me and then you end up making me feel like it was happening all over again?"
This confused the members of New Directions, plus Mr. Schue and Wes. And there were quiet, mumbled whats? thrown around.
"I told you I fucked up-"
"I'm scared Blaine. I'm always scared. I thought I could trust you."
"I didn't think I was stupid enough to do that-"
Neither boy were looking at each other yet, making the conversation that much more awkward.
"Blaine it felt so real." Kurt sobbed, wanting comfort from Blaine but knew he couldn't have it. "It felt like it was happening again. I'm scared, Blaine." Blaine looked up and felt guilty as he saw Kurt's face streaked with tears.
"Kurt." Blaine's voice cracked. He shifted a little, wishing he could wrap his arms around Kurt. "I'm so fucking sorry." Then, without warning, Kurt leaped forwards and caught Blaine in a fierce hug. Blaine automatically wrapped one arm around his waist and ran one through the boys hair. "I'm so sorry, Kurt." He whispered into Kurt's neck. The boy sobbed into his shoulder and held him tighter.
"WHAT THE FUCK?" It was Finn who shouted. Blaine's eyes traveled upwards to see him looking furious at the two. Kurt didn't move from Blaine's arms. "Are you seriously going to sit there and forgive him!"
Kurt didn't answer him.
"After everything you've been through, you're just going to act like that didn't bother you!"
Still nothing.
"After Karofsky raped you, you're just going to act like him kissing you- oh shit." Kurt had stopped his breathing and was frozen and Blaine's jaw was hanging open. Finn had only realized his mistake when it was too late. Everyone was staring at Kurt with a mixture of shock and pity on their faces and Blaine felt the need to whisk Kurt away from them so he could avoid his questions.
"After Karofsky what?" Mercedes was the only one who dared to speak into the silence. Kurt visibly started to shake in Blaine's arms, and Blaine pulled him tighter against him, wanting to protect him. To get him out of this room. But mainly he wanted to yell at Finn. Scream at him for being such an idiot. Punch him for forcing Kurt into this position. Forced to face his friends as they learn the truth of his transfer.
"Blaine." Kurt was whispering, still shaking. Blaine moved his fingers a little in his hair to show he heard his quiet plea. "Please. Get me out."
Blaine glanced up at New Directions, Wes, and Mr. Schue. They were all staring at the two in shock. Blaine shifted slightly, moving so both his arms were underneath Kurt, ready to pick him up easily, knowing he wouldn't be able to walk away without stumbling. He pushed them upwards together, Kurt in his arms and his face still smushed up against his shoulder. He begun to make his way to the door, avoiding all the eyes in the room.
"Where are you going?" Finn said accusingly. Blaine turned only slightly, not caring how heavy Kurt was, just to say a few words to Finn.
"I'm taking him home. He didn't want anyone to know, Finn. And he didn't want to tell you in the first place, did he? Because he knew you'd end up telling everyone. He's not ready for this, Finn." His gaze fell to Quinn who was gaping. He shot them both disgusted looks before shifting Kurt slightly and walking from the room.
Once out, he begun to utter comforting words to the boy. Kurt had only sobbed into his shoulder.
He placed Kurt in the passenger side of his car and done up his seat belt for him. Before shutting the door to go to his own side, He placed a soft kiss to Kurt's hair.
"I'm so sorry, Kurt."
Comments
Wow. This was very... Wow.
I'm so glad you made it angsty! If it became rainbows and unicorns from there it would't be believable. Good job! :D