June 15, 2013, 1:38 p.m.
No Water Running In The Stream: Chapter 5
E - Words: 2,040 - Last Updated: Jun 15, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/24 - Created: Oct 14, 2012 - Updated: Jun 15, 2013 908 0 0 0 1
Blaine walked into the room. No-one looked at him and they all seemed to be talking to Kurt and another man. Kurt looked older, happier. He looked gorgeous. Blaine wandered around the room. There was one picture of him, a picture that had been taken just after Kurt had moved to New York. It had been taken by a professional photographer, paid for by Cooper and put up in Kurt and Rachel’s apartment as soon as he’d mailed it to Kurt. The frame was ornate gold and on the bottom was his name engraved with another word that seemed fuzzy no matter how much Blaine rubbed his eyes or the cold frame. He looked at the other pictures. Most of them were of Kurt’s family, their friends, Cooper but some of them included the man stood with Kurt.
Blaine looked at him. He’d never seen the man in his life and then he heard Kurt’s voice as the voices in the room seemed to swell.
“It took me a long time but I’m so happy with him. I’ll always love Blaine but he’s amazing, my gorgeous husband.”
Blaine’s jaw dropped and his eyes filled with tears. He looked at the frame and the word that was fuzzy was blazing clear. Memoriam. Blaine looked at the photo again; it was the last photo of Blaine and was slightly faded. He looked at Kurt as he leaned towards the other man for a kiss.
Blaine woke up screaming, his body in a cold sweat.
“Baby? Blaine it’s ok baby it was just a nightmare. You’re safe baby, shhhhh.” Kurt’s voice broke through the terror and Blaine looked at the face of his still 19 year old boyfriend. They were in his bed, he wasn’t dead. He was ok.
Blaine laid back down and clung to Kurt, sniffling into the older man’s pyjama top. “I dreamed I was dead and you moved on, you were in love.”
Kurt curled his arms around Blaine’s waist and kissed him softly then his hair. “Oh baby, that would never happen and you’re ok sweetie, you’re ok. You’re right here with me and you’re ok.”
Blaine nodded and choked on his sobs, breathing deep to calm down.
The door cracked open and Burt looked in with Cooper and Finn right behind him. “Is Blaine ok? We heard screaming.”
“Nightmares.” Kurt said softly, running a soothing hand up and down Blaine’s back.
“Does he need anything?”
Finn asked and Kurt shook his head. “No, he’s ok, just go back to bed. We’ll see you in the morning.” The three men nodded and left. The soft click of the door shutting seemed to bring Blaine out of his silence as he nuzzled Kurt’s neck where he’d been hiding his face since Kurt had pulled him close.
“I’m not ok, am I?” He asked, his voice little more than a whimper.
Kurt shook his head and placed a light, loving kiss on his lips. “No, not right now. You will be, but not right now.”
Blaine nodded and let his eyes slip closed falling asleep with his boyfriend’s glasz eyes watching him in the darkness.
Kurt stood by the fireplace, in front of the people assembled. Thanksgiving break would be over in two days, which was why he was stood here right now. The people in front of him stared at him expectantly. Friends, New Directioners that had graduated with him, Warblers that were still friends with Blaine and him, New Directioners that were still at McKinley and the teachers that spent most of their time around Blaine. Mr Schue was sat the closest, sat on the desk as Miss Pillsbury stood nervously beside him while Coach Sylvester and Coach Beiste were stood at the back of the room, Beiste with tears in her eyes from memories of her own domestic abuse.
Kurt took a deep breath, this was something he’d never imagined doing in a million years but they needed to be prepared and keeping Blaine safe and happy at school was the most important thing.
“What do we do?” Artie piped up. “Whatever it is, we’ll do it. I can’t imagine what he’s gone through but we’d do anything for him.”
Kurt nodded, smiling a little at the warmth in the statement. It was what he loved about being in Glee club, the sense of family, of doing anything for that other person. “Thanks Artie. Okay. Right now Blaine needs comfort and attention but there’s things he can’t cope with, that you can’t do around him. Hugging. If you feel the need to hug him,” Kurt looked at Brittany and Sam. “Do it around his waist and don’t linger. No touching his neck, ever. No patting, petting, friendly slaps on the back; he almost took Finn’s hand off the other night. If he’s in the gym he needs to be the only one in there or one other person he knows and feels safe around, most likely Sam right now. You can’t make any flippant remarks about hurting each other when he can hear. I told Finn last night I’d slap him if he kept in eating the cookies from the baking sheet and Blaine burst out crying. He can’t take it. He’s very fragile right now. He’s not the Blaine you know, not yet. Can you all understand that?”
They all nodded and there were murmurs of agreement, most had the faded look of shock that Kurt was getting used to, the faraway glint that showed that they were trying to imagine themselves in Blaine’s place, a feat only one, possibly two could truly do.
Mr Schue stayed behind as they all filed out, most patting him on the back and shoulder. A natural move, something they’d have to watch from now on.
“You’re so brave, Kurt.” The older man intones, standing close to Kurt and resting a hand on his shoulder, safe, steadying, frightening.
Kurt looked at him, sighing. “I don’t feel like it. I leave in a couple of days, back to New York and leave him here to try and cope alone. I feel like I should be doing more. Like I should have done before.”
“You didn’t know, Kurt,” Mr Schue says, his voice caring and understanding. “He hid the pain so you wouldn’t have to see it. You’re doing so much for him now. You have a life in New York. Things need to go back to normal.”
Kurt nods and they walk out of the room together, both wondering if things really would ever be normal again.
Rachel laces her arms around his shoulders from behind and lays her head between his shoulder blades. His skin tingles as she lays kisses at the knot where his back meets his neck, mingling with the tears slipping down her face and into the soft cotton of his t-shirt. Kurt leans back into her comforting embrace and together they watch the cars drive away, tears slipping down their faces, and slowly fall apart.
Blaine sits on the floor of his and Kurt’s room. His wide eyes are looking over everything in it, from the pictures of them and Kurt’s family to the various products and bits and pieces Kurt’s accumulated over his life. All of it Kurt’s with little pieces of him mixed in. His neck still throbs and as he stares at the walls he remembers striped walls, dark mahogany, tartan sheets and hardwood floors. Kurt’s room is white and blue and light, his was always dark, green and according to his father darkness oozed class. He’ll never see those things again.
The thought of his father flares something white hot and painful in his mind and his breath speeds up. He’ll never be like Kurt. He’ll never be strong, capable, light, pure and confident as the gorgeous man he’d given himself to and promised his future to. The marks around his neck and under his clothes show how impure he is, how worthless his father made him.
All at once white hot rage flares through him and he grabs the suitcase sitting half open on the floor and rips it open, tearing some of the inner fabric and breaking the zip. He upends the suitcase all over the floor then rams it into the mirror, shattering it. He’s in the process of grabbing Kurt’s desk to wrench from the wall when Kurt runs into the room, grabbing him from behind, wrapping his arms around his upper body and pinning his arms to his sides.
“Blaine stop!” Kurt shouts as the teen wriggles in his grasp. Blaine growls and Kurt forces them over to the vanity, making Blaine see them both and the anger floods of out him.
They slump to the floor and Kurt comes around to cup Blaine’s cheek. Blaine looks at him, his dark eyes wide. “Don’t go. Please don’t leave me.” He begs.
Kurt sighs, his most understanding look on his face. “Oh baby, I’m not leaving you. I have to go back to New York though, I have a life there.”
“You have a life here Kurt, you have me. Why? Why am I not good enough?” Blaine whimpers and Kurt wonders if he’s talking solely to him or all the people who’ve walked out of his life or persecuted him for being whom he is.
“I need you.” Blaine cries and Kurt cuddles him close, shushing and cooing until the cries turn into whimpers and then sniffles.
Kurt thinks of Blaine’s father that tried to kill him for loving, his brother who took too long to open his eyes and really see Blaine, the people who disliked him at school, the bullies that beat him to within an inch of his life after the dance and finally Blaine’s mother who looked at her tiny son, his hazel eyes full of innocence and wonder, and walked away. Blaine was a statistic, another teenager screwed up by the choices forced on him by the people around him and in that moment Kurt promises that even if he has to go now, he’ll always come back and take Blaine with him wherever he can. Kurt leant away and cupped Blaine’s cheeks in his hands, grateful that his love trusted him enough to do it. “Listen to me Blaine Hummel. I love you, so much, more than anything else. I’m not leaving you alone. You have my parents and Finn and our friends and any time you need me I’ll be there for you and I’ll take you with me when you need me to. I love you, understand?”
Blaine nodded and gulped down his tears, a real smile forming n his face after far too long. “I understand. I love you too Kurt.”
Kurt looks at the mess of his room and sighs. “Well you really did a number on the case, Blaine. I’ll be right back baby. I’m going to get the spare case my dad has lying around.”
Kurt got up and stopped as Blaine’s hand gripped his. He looked down and Blaine smiles a little, his eyes still wet with tears. “I’m sorry.” He whispers and Kurt kneels down, kisses him and walks out of the room
Blaine sits and remembers a line from one of the Harry Potter movies as Harry talks to his Godfather Sirius. ‘What if after everything I’ve been through, something’s gone wrong inside me? What if I’m becoming bad?’ He blinks back tears and thinks back to the day he and Kurt met, that being of beauty and light talking to him, wanting something from him. He’d sublimated his feelings, never wanting to admit the truth, not wanting to be rejected again but in the end the bare honesty and confidence Kurt had shown had made him realise it was possible to have everything, to be loved just for himself. He hopes he isn’t turning into Voldemort, or his father because it would mean giving up the purity that is the love he has with Kurt, it’s the one thing left that’s completely his own and what would he be if he let that go?