Hey, guys. I'm incredibly sorry that I update so rarely. If you haven't given up on me, yet, thank you!
Chapter Ten
They made their way down to the basement, without any light, Blaine in front and Damien following behind with Kurt. Blaine was tense. This had been his own idea but still he was scared of what might happen if things got out of control. He had no idea whether he really could control himself. Maybe that one time had been an exception and if he got to the point of red eyes this time, he might hurt someone.
He might hurt Kurt.
Maybe this was not such a good idea after all.
He was just about to turn around and tell Damien that they really shouldn't do this seeing as it was so risky but he stopped himself. He could do this. And Damien and Kurt could look after themselves. Besides, even his subconscious wouldn't kill either of them.
His grip on the bottle of vodka in his right hand grew tighter as he rounded the last corner of the tunnel and entered the wide basement room. He put the bottle down before quickly going around the room to light the torches.
Unbeknownst to Blaine, Damien leaned close to Kurt's ear as they walked towards the boxing ring and whispered, “Play along.”
Kurt was confused. “Play along with what?”
“You'll see. Just go along with whatever I'm doing. I want to know how far he would go. We need him to lose control and he is most likely to lose it, if whatever makes him angry involves you.”
Kurt was about to ask further questions but then thought better of it. “As long as you don't go too far.” He hissed quietly back at Damien just before Blaine returned to them and picked up the vodka, opening it and throwing the lid at Damien, who caught it before it could hit him.
Blaine was about to tip the bottle up and empty it into his mouth but Damien held up a hand. “Wait a second. I want to make clear what we are trying to achieve with this. You want to go red eyes, right?”
“I guess. Although, 'wanting' is not the right word on my part.”
“And you will try to stay in control, so we can see what you can do in that state?”
“Yes.” Blaine nodded and then looked at Kurt. “If I don't stay in control, however, I want you to get away from me as fast as possible because I want to hurt neither of you.” When he saw that Kurt was about to protest, he stopped him. “You have to promise me that.”
Kurt bit his lip but eventually he nodded. “I promise.”
Blaine smirked but there was no joy behind it. “Then let's get this party started.” And he tipped the bottle up. He didn't put it down until it was almost halfway empty. He scowled at the taste of pure alcohol as he already felt the effects. Vampires didn't get drunk quite as fast as humans would but Blaine was not used to alcohol at all. He shook his head and spit on the ground to get the taste out of his mouth. “I hate this stuff. I always have. I don't get what people get from drinking alcohol. It causes you to act even more stupid than usual and tastes awful.”
“Well, let's just agree on not drinking then.” Kurt mumbled but his eyes stayed trained on Blaine and he waited for some kind of reaction to the alcohol. Would Blaine lash out? If he was honest with himself, Kurt couldn't imagine why Blaine should go red eyes. He'd simply get drunk and that would be it. This was not going to get them anywhere.
He looked over at Damien and remembered what he had said. Play along. He desperately hoped for Damien's sake that whatever he was planning was not going to end in disaster.
Damien cleared his throat. “Do you want to drink all of it?”
Blaine frowned at the bottle and then shook his head. “This should suffice. I really don't want any more of that stuff. It’s making my head hurt already.” He shoved the bottle at Damien before leaning over and resting his hands on his knees with a groan.
“Is everything okay?” Kurt asked and took a step closer.
“Yeah, I'm fine. I just—I feel like I'm gonna throw up.”
“Oh, please don't!” Damien turned away. “Anything but that.”
“Calm down. I won't okay.” Blaine stood upright again. “Now get on with the plan. I'm supposed to lose control, right? So, come on, make me!”
“As you wish.” Suddenly Damien shot forward and backhanded Blaine hard across the face. Blaine, surprised by the sudden impact, fell to the side, a growl escaping him as he hit the hard floor. Kurt growled and was about to jump on Damien for hurting Blaine like that but Damien pushed him backwards and Kurt flew a couple meters through the air. The impact with the ground pushed all the air out of Kurt's lungs and he hissed at the pain in his back.
Secretly, he was angry at himself for being so stupid. He could never beat Damien when it came to their strength. But he couldn't have Damien hurt Blaine. That wasn't the plan.
In the meantime, Blaine had gotten to his feet again and now glared at Damien, a steady growl coming from him, which Damien only returned with a smirk. “I guess, it's not going to be easy like that, hey?”
“Hit him again and you'll regret it.” Kurt said, the anger in his voice obvious.
“You're right, Kurt. This is not how we should do it. I got a better idea. Why don't you tell him?” Damien turned and gave Kurt a meaningful look.
“Tell him what?” Kurt asked, caught a bit off guard. He had no idea what Damien was talking about.
“About our plans.” Damien said slowly. With a poised smile he looked back at Blaine who now looked back and forth between the other two. “Well, the thing is, Blaine, Kurt doesn't want to stay with you. He told me himself. He doesn't think that things between you two are going to work out. He regrets letting you turn him.”
Blaine's face fell and he looked back at Kurt for an explanation but Kurt had figured out what Damien was doing and his job was to play along. So he looked down at the ground to avoid Blaine's eyes.
“See, Blaine, he doesn't want you anymore. He just didn't know how to tell you. He—well, he wants to come with me. I promised I would take him back to his father one last time before he puts an end to his existence. He doesn't want to live like this. Not with you.”
“You're lying, Damien. This is just a trick, isn't it?” Blaine swallowed hard, his eyes not leaving Kurt, who refused to look at him. “Is that true, Kurt?” No answer. “Kurt?”
Kurt finally looked up, his eyes wet with tears. “It's true, Blaine. I just—I can't deal with this. With you. I just—we don't belong together, Blaine.” He looked away again. How could he look Blaine in the eyes after telling him that?
It was quiet in the room after that for a couple minutes as Blaine tried to understand what they had just told him. “And you want to go with Damien?”
Kurt took a deep breath and then stared into Blaine's eyes that were unusually dark with rage and confusion. “Yes.”
And that one word was what tipped Blaine over the edge. With a roar that was entirely inhuman he attacked Damien and wrestled him to the ground. Damien tried his very best to keep Blaine's teeth away from his own throat but Blaine seemed to prevail. His anger only fueled his powers and he eventually managed to pin Damien to the ground with both his telekinesis and his own body. He didn't waste any more time. His teeth sank deep into Damien's neck and he tore the skin and flesh apart as Damien roared and yelled in pain.
Suddenly Blaine was ripped off of Damien and pulled backwards. He almost lost his footing but Kurt who had his arms around his torso, kept him upright. Blaine pushed his elbow backwards and hit Kurt's stomach so hard that Kurt let go. Blaine had him on the ground almost instantly and growled loudly in his face. “How dare you choose him over me?!”
“I didn't, Blaine. I didn't.”
“You want to leave me for him!” Blaine screamed.
Kurt shook his head desperately but Blaine didn't seem to be in his right mind anymore. The alcohol had fogged up his mind and any rational thoughts were blocked by his anger. Kurt knew that Blaine would have never believed their story, if he had been sober. Blaine was smarter than that. But Damien had found a weak spot, maybe Blaine's only weak spot: Kurt.
“Blaine, you need to stop.” Damien said from behind him and Blaine turned, fangs bared and eyes dark, ready to attack. Damien held up his hands in surrender. “You need to calm down. I would never take Kurt from you.”
“Liar!”
Blaine's scream of rage turned into a yelp as he let out a shuddering breath and fell down to his knees.
Blaine's breathing was heavy and the only thing that could be heard in the wide space of the basement. Neither Kurt nor Damien even dared to breathe. Blaine was looking down on the ground as he was on his hands and knees but Kurt had seen it and guessed that Damien had, too.
Blaine's eyes had changed to red. And everyone feared what would happen now.
“Blaine?” Kurt whispered as he slowly got up from where he had still been lying on the ground and took a step towards the other boy. “Blaine, are you alright?”
Damien grabbed Kurt's shoulder as he took another step and Kurt looked at him. Damien shook his head. “You don't know what he's going to do.”
“He won't hurt me.”
“You don't know that.”
“Yes, I do.” Kurt hissed.
“I can feel it.” Blaine's voice sounded different, a little hoarse and deeper than usual. Kurt and Damien both tensed up when he spoke. “It feels—” He paused. What word was there to describe it? It felt like the rage inside of him had become a part of his entire body. He wanted to rip and tear into something, anything, preferably flesh and he knew that there was nothing that could stop him. He felt his body ache with the need to hurt Damien at the same time as he suddenly realized that his senses were going further than they ever had before. Even with his eyes closed, his sense of smell and his hearing sufficed to present him with an image of his surroundings that had a radius of about a hundred meters. He could smell the worry coming off of Kurt and Damien, and on Damien's part the smell was mixed with distrust and even fear.
All of this his brain had registered within a mere second just as Blaine realized something else: this was what happened every time a vampire went red eyes. Their senses enhanced and their powers grew but none of them ever remembered or even realized it because they never had control over themselves. They couldn't stay conscious while in this state. But now, Blaine could. He felt the rage but he didn't let it take over. The first time this had happened it scared him but now it only felt “—exhilarating.”
He looked up and Damien took a precautionary step backwards at the sight of Blaine's eyes, the color of which was truly unnerving. “You are in control, though, right?” Damien asked carefully.
“I am.” Blaine said and tilted his head as he looked Damien straight in the eye. “However, I have the strong desire to rip you to shreds.”
Damien immediately crouched into a defensive pose. “You know that none of that was real, Blaine. We were only trying to make you angry. I would never take Kurt away from you. Kurt, tell him. Tell him that it was only pretend.”
“He's telling the truth, Blaine. I would never leave you.” Kurt jumped in quickly. “You know that.”
Blaine didn't look at him. The rage inside of him was ever present even though he could think more clearly now. The alcohol was somehow not affecting him anymore and every rational thought told him that Kurt was right. They had only been pretending but he had not realized that in his intoxicated state. Kurt would never leave him. There was no need to hurt Damien.
“I can feel how close I am to losing it.” Blaine said through clenched teeth, his eyes never leaving Damien. “I can keep it under control but if I let go, I would—you know what I mean.”
“Then don't you dare lose it on me. I value my limbs, thank you very much.” Damien loosened up a bit, Blaine could tell, but when Blaine moved to stand up, Damien gave him a wary look that Blaine chose to ignore.
“What now?” Blaine asked, sounding like he was trying to contain anger whereas he was only trying to keep it together. It proved to be hard. He wanted to rip and tear something apart and he didn't really care what that something was. He just wanted to put all that power inside of him to use. “I don't want to stay in this state for longer than I have to, so, what am I supposed to do?”
The question was directed at Damien but he shrugged and backed away a step. How was he supposed to know? This was all just as new to him as it was to the other two. However, seeing as he was the oldest, of course, they expected that he somewhat knew what they were doing.
“How about you try using your abilities?” Kurt proposed. “Try to shift.”
“Really?” Blaine wondered.
“What if you can't control the wolf, though?” Damien intervened. “You have never shifted while you were red eyes. You don't know what will happen.”
“But that's what we are trying to find out, isn't it?”
“But the risk is—”
“All of this is risky, Damien!” Blaine glared at him, blood-red eyes meeting brown ones, and Damien, although he hesitated, held up his hands in surrender. Blaine turned his back on Damien, trying to shake off the feeling of superiority because he found that he liked it. He liked being in control like this. He liked that he could intimidate Damien that easily.
In the back of his mind a voice that sounded so much like his own was screaming at him to stop, to stay in control. It was yelling that this wasn't him. He was not that kind of person that liked to look down on people. He didn't want to be dangerous.
He shook his head to clear his mind of those thoughts and then concentrated. He could feel how slowly his body started changing; his bones started shifting until it happened, but all in the span of less than a few seconds. He fell forward onto all fours and started huffing out slow breaths because ow, since when did this hurt? He squeezed his eyes closed and tried to hold in a whimper, without success, and it came out as a yelp that was more canine than human at this point. He looked down at his hands again as they were already changing into paws. It took another few seconds of pain until it all stopped and he found himself in the familiar shape of a wolf. He shook his fur out and rolled his head around a bit until he got used to the other body again.
Only then he looked up at Damien and Kurt who were standing at a safe distance. They had slightly concerned looks on their faces but Damien also looked rather intrigued.
“I don't know if you've noticed,” Damien began, “but you have grown a bit. And you look so different with red eyes.”
Blaine, not able to answer, tilted his head to the side and then looked back at his own body as much as he could. It did seem bigger, indeed. He also felt like he was taller than his normal wolf form. So, this had to be a side effect of turning in this state and Blaine couldn't complain, seeing as he was quite content with having such a big shape to shift into, if he had to.
The wolf in his mind was restless, though. He wanted to break free. He wanted to run and especially, he wanted to hunt. But Blaine wouldn't let him.
It took him a couple seconds to get full control of his actions again and then he managed to turn back. His bones gave a few loud cracking sounds as they shifted back into their normal positions and Blaine ended up lying on his stomach, when he was done shifting. It never used to hurt this much. The last time shifting had actually hurt had been centuries ago, when he was going through his firsts.
However, this time it had hurt like a bitch and as he lay on his stomach he couldn't help but stay there for a few seconds to catch his breath.
“Is everything alright?” Kurt asked.
“Yeah, I'm fine.” Blaine replied quietly and turned over to lie on his back. “It was just rather painful.”
“Your eyes are—” Kurt stopped himself and took a breath. “They're normal again. The red is gone.”
He didn't have to tell Blaine that. He would have known anyways because he felt it. The rage, the bloodlust and the need to let his anger out were gone and staying in control was not as hard anymore. The difference was obvious.
But there was something else. He could feel it. Right there.
It was just like using his abilities, a sort of on-switch in his mind that he knew he could switch any second and Blaine knew that if he switched this one, he could go red eyes at will. And he would be able to stay in control.
And, oh, all that power that came with that.
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“Please give me a break?” Kurt pleaded but Blaine raised an eyebrow and let his foot connect with Kurt's stomach anyways.
It had been six days of nothing but training and the occasional break to sleep for a few hours. And although Kurt felt like another day of training would be the end of him, he couldn't help but notice that it was working. He was getting faster and he was getting stronger. He had learned all those little tricks from Damien and Blaine that would help him to survive in battle and he would have never thought that he would enjoy fighting this much.
Another thing that they had been able to figure out was Kurt's ability. Turning invisible was the handiest thing ever, Kurt had decided. He had managed to do it again at will and after that it got easier with each time he tried. By now, he had almost full control over it and he loved it.
The first time Blaine allowed him to use it while fighting he had managed to actually get Damien to the ground. He only held him there for about five seconds before Damien prevailed but it was a triumph that he wouldn't let Damien forget so quickly.
It was a lot harder, however, to trick Blaine with his invisibility. Blaine always seemed to know where he was or from which side he was going to attack. Damien blamed on their mate bond but Blaine didn't seem to be so sure about that. Ever since that day when he figured out how to go red eyes at will he was quiet and refused to really talk about it.
He had even started walking around the house as a wolf, not in his red-eyed state, of course, accidentally giving Graham quite the scare, but Kurt figured he did that so he didn't have to talk and he could understand that. He wouldn't push. He would give Blaine all the time he needed. After all that's all they had: time.
“You want a break?” Blaine asked as Kurt doubled over from the blow to his stomach.
“Yes, please.”
“Then get me to the ground.” Blaine demanded and pushed Kurt backwards.
Kurt almost fell but held his balance and with a growl of frustration he charged towards Blaine. However, he was tired and he was not even close to fast enough. Blaine had him on the ground only a couple swift moves later.
“Alright, we'll stop.” Blaine said and let go of Kurt before holding out a hand to him and Kurt pulled himself up. “You should get some sleep or maybe ask Graham for some blood.”
“What about you?” Kurt asked.
“I might go into town tonight, yeah. Maybe I'll drag Damien along. Are you okay with staying here alone with Graham or would you rather not?”
“No, it would be fine but...” Kurt bit his lip. “I was planning on asking you this. Um, would you consider taking me out of the house at some point? I feel so trapped in here. I just want to see the outside again.”
Blaine gave him a surprised look. “Are you sure you can handle going into the town? There are loads of people there. Can you handle that?”
“I don't know. I wish I did because I really want to get out of here.”
“I'll tell you what: We'll get you out of here soon. Very soon. But not tonight. You proved that you can keep it together around Graham but that doesn't mean that you can handle other people around, yet. And tonight you really should get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow night.”
Kurt almost grinned. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you.”
“Anything?”
“Almost anything, I guess.”
Kurt huffed. “Should have guessed. You're such a lousy boyfriend. You keep hitting me on a daily basis.”
Blaine elbowed him in the side for that as they walked upstairs.
“I rest my case.” Kurt sang and Blaine rolled his eyes as he followed him up the steep stairs to the study. They made their way up to their room, stopping to ask Graham, who was just on his way down to the kitchen, whether he was up for letting Kurt feed later. Graham yawned and nodded, saying he would be at their room in a couple minutes.
They both fell down on the bed, when they reached their room. Kurt put one arm around Blaine’s torso and snuggled into him. “I’m gonna be sore.” He pouted.
“You won't be. And you know that. Stop complaining.” Blaine said and slowly caressed Kurt’s hair with one hand. “How are you holding up, by the way?” He sounded more serious now.
“What do you mean? I'm fine.”
“No, I mean, how are you adapting to everything? Do you still feel disconnected to your body? Do you feel like you're in control?”
Kurt thought about it for a second. “I feel better, I guess. Since I've kind of mastered my ability and got more used to my reflexes and speed, I feel like I am myself again. Even though I'm not really who I used to be. I'm somehow scared that Nick and Jeff won't recognize me anymore.”
“Of course they will, love.”
Kurt hummed contently. “Is this a thing for you now? Calling me 'love'?”
“I would have called you that right from the beginning but I was under the impression that it made me sound old-fashioned and I didn't want to stand out at Dalton any more than I already did.”
“You are old-fashioned.”
“I'll take that as a compliment, seeing as I'm two and a half centuries old.”
Kurt was quiet after that until he broke the silence with a whisper that was all too clear in Blaine's ears.
“I don't think I have come to the realization, yet, that I'll be like this for all eternity. It seems so unreal and I just can't imagine it. We will go to New York to live with Nick and Jeff, yes, but then I think about what's gonna happen in a couple years. They'll be thirty and starting a family of their own and then they'll be fifty and then eighty and we are just going to be there watching them die. It's just—I knew what I signed up for when I agreed to this but this is so unreal.”
Blaine took Kurt's hand and slowly drew circles on his palm. “But it is real and we'll be okay. And technically we are getting older. It's just not visible.”
“This is really confusing to think about. I feel like I've lost the ability to come up with any rational thought.” Kurt laughed quietly and wiped a tear away that was threatening to roll down his cheek. “I just thought that at some point I would, you know, grow up.”
Blaine smiled to himself. “Grown-up, what does that even mean? Rational, who even is rational?” Kurt looked up at him and when their eyes met, Blaine held on to Kurt's hand tighter. “I'm me and you're you, I'm old, you're young. What meaning could that possibly have? I don't care about any of these questions. I only need you here with me. ”
Kurt's lips were pressed on his unexpectedly but Blaine knew better than to question it. His hands found Kurt's hips as Kurt laid his arms around his neck and moved closer. Their kiss was passionate but neither of them let it go too far because both of them knew Graham was on his way back up. They wouldn't risk getting caught by him. Not again. Not after telling him to come to help Kurt.
A soft knock on the door made them sit up in a hurry and they both tried to make themselves look less like they had just sort of make out on the bed.
“Come in, Graham.” Blaine said after clearing his throat.
The boy pushed the door open and timidly stepped into the room and towards Kurt. “Alright. I’m ready. Go ahead.”
Kurt felt himself want to just lunge forward and bury his teeth in Graham's neck but he held himself back. However, he couldn't stop the growl coming from his throat and Graham shivered visibly. “Blaine, you have to hold me back.” Kurt said through clenched teeth that were already growing into fangs.
“Too hungry?”
Kurt just nodded.
“Okay, we'll remember to not let it get this far next time.” He stood right next to Kurt as Kurt started feeding. Graham closed his eyes and tried not to tense up too bad. He was getting used to it but, of course, it still wasn't the nicest feeling to be bitten.
In the end Blaine really had to pull Kurt away from Graham and he was also the one providing Graham with his blood to help him heal. Kurt wasn't in his right mind to that at that point. After a quick 'thank you' Blaine sent Graham back to his own room. He pushed Kurt towards the bed where the younger vampire lay down and curled in on himself.
“Am I a bad person?”
“No, you're not. Kurt, out of anyone I know, you are the most compassionate person I have ever met. I know you don't want to hurt him but that makes you a good person rather than a bad one, doesn't it?”
“I hope so.”
“Sleep, Kurt. Tomorrow is another day.” Blaine lay down behind Kurt and wrapped his arms around him. However, even as Kurt's breath evened out, Blaine didn't find any rest and in the end he stayed up all night, listening to Kurt breathing softly.