WARNING: Death and cries. I was Bawling typing this and the last time that happened was back in Chapter 7 of Who Says (believe my warning! You will cry!)

XxXxXxX

It was the first time Sebastian had ever told anyone about his past and in a way, he knows it had to be Kurt that heard it. The reason why he chose a school so far away from his family. Why he doesnt have a mate. Why he acted like an ass at the run, hinting at being interested in Kurt as more than just another wolf he admires.

"Bastian! Come on man, you have to come check out this hot spot with us tonight! Its a well-known hangout for unmated omegas looking to find that special someone."

"Na man. Think Im going to try and get a head start on this weeks assignments. Have fun Todd. Hope you find Miss Right." Sebastian waives his friend off as the other wolf shakes his head before running off to join the others. You wouldnt think there would be this many unmated wolves over the age of 16 anywhere, but New York has made things so equal between all types of wolves that everyone is waiting to find the right one and not just oh my god their so hot I must have them types.

He grabs his assigned reading before settling back against the headboard if his dorm bed, opening the pages and letting his mind drift back to earlier that day.

"Alright. What is this reason you have for being an ass the first time I meet you?" Kurt raises one brow as he waits for Sebastian to start talking.

"Its a cover up. No one here knows who I am or whats happened in my past, but trust me. Im not looking for a mate because Ive already had a mate."

"You… but where are…"

"Thats a really long story."

"We have time before our next class. Try me."

It all came out way to easily and now that hes talked about it, those days from his past come back along with the tightening in his chest at the memory.

XxXxXxX

"Phillip!" 14 year old Sebastian comes running through his friends house. "Phillip Levi Brenton where are you hiding!" He hears the giggling coming from the closet and just knows thats where his best friend is hiding. "Phillip Levi Brenton are you hiding in the closet?" He flings the door open and laughs as a little brown haired boy with freckles across his nose flies out and tackles him to the ground in a ninja tickle attack.

"Nope! You know I came out of the closet last year, so why would I go back in it silly!" the tickling goes on and on, both of them giving as good as they get until a loud voice echoes through the room.

"Boys! Weve been over this. Stop ruff housing before you break all of aunt Junes vases." Mr. Brenton tries not to laugh at the giant pouts on both of their faces. "Sebastian, your mom called and said its time to come home unless you want to stay for dinner. Again."

"Yes! Please? Ill even help do the dishes and clear the table!" Sebastian runs over to the older man with a giant smile on his face and Phillip dragged behind him by the hand. "Please. I dont want to go home yet." It was obvious to everyone that Sebastian was in love with his omega friend.

Mr. Brenton wasnt going to deny his son anything when he sees Phillip start to beg for Sebastian to stay longer. It was a miracle that the young boy had even been born with all the issues him and his mate had had. One after another of their pups being still born or dying within days of being born until they were in their mid-forties and along cam Phillip. "Go on. Call your mom and say youll be home after dinner." It was an even bigger stroke of luck that the pup born in the next room turned out to be Sebastian, from three houses up and first son of an adorable young mate pair, and he attached himself to Phillip the second they were laid in neighboring baskets in the nursery awaiting their parents to be ready to care for them. The older couple happily helped out the younger ones, watching Sebastian while they went to school and helped them out as much as they can. The two boys growing closer with every year that passed.

15 year old Sebastian paced the white halls of the hospital with his lips between his teeth and hands fidgeting. It was an accident. He hadnt meant for Phillip to get hurt, but he had. They were just playing a stupid game of doge ball with the other kids in the pack and the next thing he knew, Phillip was on the ground curled into a ball crying in pain. Mr. Brenton and his wife had tried for the first hour to tell him it wasnt his fault, but he didnt care. It was his fault.

"Phillip Brentons family?"

All three heads snap to where the doctor is standing. "Yes." Mr. Benton stands slowly with his wife. "Were his parents and this is his best friend, Sebastian."

"I need to talk with you privately if thats alright?" He turns to Sebastian with a forced smile on his face. "Phillip has been moved to a private room if youd like to go and sit with him?"

"Yes. Yes please. I need to apologize to him. I shouldnt have made him play that stupid game with us."

"Room 420." The doctor watches Sebastian go off in search of the room before saying something that has Mrs. Brenton collapsing against her husband in tears.

"Knock knock!" Sebastian pokes his head into the room with a smile on his face until he sees how pale Phillip is and how many wires are coming from his body. "Im so sorry! I didnt want you to get hurt!" He hurries over with tears in his eyes. "Next time well do what you want to do. I promise, just get better fast ok?"

"I will. I promise." Phillip reaches his hand out to hold Sebastians. "I forgive you, but it wasnt the game."

"It wasnt?"

"No. Sebastian, Im sick. The doctor said Im very sick and they have to talk to my parents about it before doing anything."

"How bad is it? Cant they just give you a shot or some pills?"

"They are going to try, but they dont know how Ill react since puberty is coming in a few months."

"Youll be fine. I know you will because you have me and I promised you Id never let anything bad happen to you."

16 year old Sebastian slowly walks into the Brenton house with a small square box wrapped in the prettiest paper he could find. No one laughs here anymore as Phillip was going through his chemo therapy. Apparently his sickness was a form of cancer that was attacking his friends stomach and now after having his treatments the past couple months, hes shown some improvement but today was the day they were going to retest him since no one knew how turning of age would affect his condition. This use to be the happiest day of his life, the day he gets to share with his best friend and the boy he loves since they were born on the same day mere hours apart. Now, hes afraid of this day.

"Hello Sebastian." Mrs. Brenton smiles sadly at him, hiding the fact she can see how blood shot his eyes are from crying so much lately.

"How did it go?"

"Hes waiting to tell you. Go on, hes in his new room." She points down the hall. They had to move his bedroom into the den after he got sick since it was too dangerous to have him going up and down stairs with how weak hed gotten.

Sebastian doesnt wait or say thank you, he just hurries down the hall and into the room that looked so sad since its a quickly thrown together room. "Phillip?"

"Happy birthday Bastian!" the other boy greats his friend with a giant smile on his face, a new beanie covering his now bald head, and arms open for a hug.

"You look… better!" Sebastian melts into his arms and clings as tight as he dares to the thinning frail body. "Howd the test go?"

"Its shrinking."

"You… Thats great Phillip!" Sebastian couldnt have asked for a better present. "Here. I got you something, though if you want something else Ill understand I got this before we knew…" He holds up the small box a blush bright on his cheeks.

"Bastian…" Phillip sits down on his bed as he opens the box. Breathe catching in his throat when he sees the silver band with two small rubies in an infinity symbol. "This…"

"I love you so much Phillip and I have for such a long time. Ive been planning to ask you, if you want to, would you be my mate?"

Phillip starts crying as he covers his mouth. "W-why me? Im… Sebastian I cant. I cant do that to you."

"Why?"

"Im not going to live. The doctor told us, even with it shrinking and Im going into remission, he doesnt think it will last long. Im going to die Sebastian."

"So? Were all going to die someday, but Id rather spend what little time I have with you as my mate then to sit back and watch the only one in the world for me leave without knowing how much I love him."

"Go away!" Phillip is up and shoving Sebastian out of his room. "Go away! Go! Leave! Im not worth it!"

He doesnt fight against it, he doesnt complain. Sebastian just lets Phillip shove him out of the door and watches as the same door slams in his face. When the first sounds of pained crying hits his ears, he does curl in on himself as Mr. and Mrs. Brenton come hurrying down the hall. He doesnt even realize only one of them goes in the room until Mr. Brenton has him wrapped in his arms and rocking his body with soothing words in a way that only an omega can.

"Everything will be alright. Well get through this."

Shaking his head Sebastian whimpers out. "He told me no…"

"Of course he did." Mr. Brenton keeps rocking the boy as they listen to the hushed talking coming from Phillips room. "If you mated with him, youd die when he did."

"Ill die the day he dies anyways. It doesnt matter if we are mates or not, hes my soul."

Its two months later that Phillip sneaks out of his house in the middle of the night and into his friends room. Waking Sebastian with a soft salty kiss. "Mate with me. I dont want to die alone. Dont let me die without knowing what true togetherness is and how much real true love feel like heaven."

Theres no run, Phillip isnt strong enough to fight back. There is no struggle, Phillip rolls onto his hands and knees the second heir clothes are off. Theres no yelling or scream of pain, because for once both boys felt whole. Their mating is beautiful and full of love. Their wolves seeming to know that if Phillip fought he wouldnt survive the night. Their found in the morning when a frantic Mr. Brenton comes looking for his son, both sets of parents relaxing as they see the boys wrapped up together even though they try not to show how sad they are at knowing their boys mated.

18 year old Sebastian finds himself sitting in a lone chair with both sets of parents sitting around the same bed he is. Two years. For two years Phillip made an improvement and they were able to go outside, sit by a lake, and even go for walks between spending beautiful nights wrapped up together. They shouldnt have been so stupid to think everything would be fine, especially not when the morning sickness started mere days before the dizzy spells came back. They had thought there had been a heat cycle, but they were too afraid to ask about it because someone might have told them it was just the cancer coming back. Now, he watches his dying mate go into labor at home because hes too weak to be moved. He listens as the doctor and nurses do everything they can to save the pup as his hand clings to his mates. His eyes only see the light fading. The cancer had come back halfway through the pregnancy and Phillip had made a choice.

"Your son is going to be fine Mr. Smyth. Would you like to hold him?"

He doesnt have to answer because Phillip does. "Please." His voice is so weak. His arms to limp to hold the tiny pup so Sebastian has to help him. Getting up on the bed to sit behind him and hold both of them. His family, his whole world. "He looks like me. With your eyes."

"Hes beautiful." Sebastian whispers to Phillip as his mates eyes start to close.

"Was worth it. For him." Phillip starts to go lax in his arms. "Thank you love."

He doesnt know who takes the pup in the next few minutes as the last words ghost out of those perfect lips and his entire world crumbles. The pain in his chest as his wolf cries out for its mate with no response and his arms tighten around the limp body of the most perfect wolf in the world. No one notices at first that its their birthday. No one except Sebastian. Hell never look at July the same way again.

It takes them nearly a day to pull Sebastian off of the body. Another three weeks to get him to leave the now empty room. The funeral find Sebastian being rushed to the hospital with heart problems as seeing the body of his mate put into the ground was too much for him. Months later and he finally has the strength to leave his bed as he hears the pup crying at midnight for something. They find him curled up on the couch, a protective cocoon of blankets around himself and as happily suckling on his bottle baby.

"Sebastian?" Mrs. Brenton slowly approaches them.

"Levi. Levi Bastian Smyth. Thats what I want his name to be."

"Thats a beautiful name." She tries not to cry at hearing her sons middle name.

"Because hes beautiful. Everything that was right about P-P-his father and I are here in him. He deserves to have the best part of both of us in his name." He finally looks up at her with tears in his red rimmed eyes. "Im going to need you to watch after him while I... while I get my life together. Its too much for me. Everything is just numb and nothing matters anymore. Im dead inside."

"I know sweetie and we will watch him for you. Your parents and my husband and I will make sure hes happy and healthy."

"Will it ever get better?"

"No. You feel it every day for the rest of your life, but you learn to live with it." She reaches out, caressing his cheek. "You find something worth going on for and you go after it."

19 year old Sebastian kisses his sons rumpled brown hair before stepping onto the train. Everything still hurt and his wolf was so still inside, but he knew he needed to go on. So he applied and was accepted to college in New York, only a state away and close enough that hell be able to come home on the weekends but far enough away to finally move on if at all possible. It was easier to tell the rest of the college pack that he wasnt mated and just hadnt found the right omega yet as they put him up for pack beta almost immediately upon his showing up on their door step just a few weeks before that first run.

Of course they asked about the ring he has on his pinkie finger, the one with two rubies in the infinity symbol, but he lies and says its because his younger brother and him both have the same birthday. The same story he gives about the baby pictures he has of his son. To stop their questions he starts putting on a player persona that he establishes at that first run. Hitting on omegas and alphas that he finds attractive, while inside hes crumbling.

XxXxXxX

"Sebastian!" Kurt comes running up before class as Sebastian is putting a letter into the mail. "How are you doing?"

"Fine. Just saw a postcard with some silly picture on it that I thought Levi might like."

"How old is he now?" Kurt pulls out his own pictures of the twins and Richard. "Ours are two, this is Elizabeth and this one is Timothy, their two now. The little guy my son is clinging too is our housemates son, Richard and hes going to be one."

"Levi is one." Sebastian pulls out a picture of the happily laughing toddler covered in mud and love in his eyes as he looks at the person taking the picture, the freckles across his face nearly gone from the mud facial.

"Hes beautiful." Kurt twines his arms with one of Sebastians as they head towards their first class.

"He is. He looks just like his father."

"You know, I didnt tell anyone." Kurt slips into his chair. "Blaine did ask though, but I told him it wasnt my story to share but that he can trust you."

"You didnt have to do that."

"Yes I did. I know the pain youre going through, I watched my dad go through it when mom… like I told you, it was like your loss how she went. If you were ready for more people to know, then you would tell them. Until then Ill keep your secret. Though you are more than welcome to hang out with Blaine, Nick, Alain, and me at any time and if you would like your son to visit, he is more than welcome to stay with us along with anyone that would come with him."

"Thank you Kurt. That means so much."

"You are very welcome. Now, this doesnt mean I wont be pushing for you to maybe tell a few people that I know will understand and could very well be great friends of yours or an open ear to talk to, because I really think Duncan McKay will understand and I know for a fact Blaine, Nick, and Alain will understand. You dont have to until youre ready, but I think you should. Until then, how do you feel about clubbing? Apparently this overly pushy human has invited Blaine to a club and he invited me and the others and Im inviting you. Cant have too much backup when you have the feeling said human is going to get his face pounded in for making my man smell like him."

He finds himself laughing at how animated Kurt is about everything, how open he is, and how accepting he is. "Sure. Ill be your back up and I promise that if it feels right, Ill tell your friends or let you tell them if I cant."

"Yay! This will be so much fun!" Kurt immediately covers his mouth when the teacher snaps at him for the outburst making Sebastian laugh.