March 24, 2013, 10:34 a.m.
Finding Yourself: Chapter 9
E - Words: 2,301 - Last Updated: Mar 24, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 20/? - Created: Jun 20, 2012 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022 988 0 0 0 0
Chapter 9
Kurt was glad that he had gotten Chemistry over with. Sitting next to Blaine for 80 minutes resulted in an awkward tension as well as sneaky glances, which Kurt was pretty sure Blaine had done as well. He had tried several times to talk to him keeping it simple but each question would get no response only a slight nod of the head or grunt. Blaine had seated himself as far as he could from Kurt while still being at the table and had kept his eyes strained on the textbook splayed out in front of him.
Near the end of the 80-minute period Kurt had given up and brought his attention back to the class. The teacher had ended the class with handing out an assignment that was to be competed with your lab partner, which meant of course that Kurt’s grade depended on Blaine. He would be damned if this project was to be jeopardized because Blaine wouldn’t speak to him. He would get that boy to talk to him no matter what. And today was the perfect day; Kurt had 3 more classes with him.
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Blaine found himself dozing off during history. He really did not give a shit about the civil war especially when all he could think about was tonight and his meeting with Santana. He had made sure that his parents would not be home before 6 giving him and Santana a solid 3 hours. 3 hours of sex.
Blaine was worried. That same thought as the night before lingered in his head; What if it didn’t work? And he was right! What if he tried to have sex with her and his dick didn’t get hard!? He’d be force to face the reality of him being gay or continue lying to himself and live an unhappy life.
Blaine had no idea what to do and in reality all he really wanted was to be with Kurt. To be held by him and hear him say that everything was going to be okay. No, he could not let himself think like that. If he was set on becoming himself again than he would have to block out all thoughts like that. It would work, it had to.
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The shrill sound of the bell signaling the end of the class woke Blaine up and he hurried to pack his belongings. He had English next, his only class with Kurt, Santana and Brittany. He was not looking forward to it to say the least.
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He lingered in the halls till the warning bell sounded before walking into the classroom, this way he would be certain that he wouldn’t end up sitting with Kurt especially if Brittany had anything to do about it. Hopefully Santana had saved him a seat.
Blaine sat down beside Santana who had indeed saved him a spot and as he predicted Kurt was seated with Brittany a few tables over. Brittany was shamelessly flirting with Kurt as usual but Kurt seemed to be ignoring her, Blaine noticed, smirking.
“Hey, you excited for tonight?” Santana leaned over and whispered into his ear.
“Sure am baby.” Blaine replied smiling even though his heart was pounding and the voice in his head screamed no.
“Good, because were going to have a lot of fun.” She smiled placing a long sensual kiss on Blaine lips.
“Class! Please open last nights close reading.” The English teacher who had just walked in clapped her hands together breaking up the student’s conversations and in Blaine’s case kissing.
Santana smiled breaking the kiss placing a small chaste one to his lips before bringing her attention to the teacher. Blaine turned and faced the front of the class as well but not before catching from the corner of his eye a flush looking Kurt quickly turning his head and staring down at his table. Blaine let it pass not wanting it to affect the good mood that he was in. He was now feeling much more confidant about tonight and he would not let his feelings for Kurt get in the way.
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Kurt quickly felt that his plan to get Blaine to talk to him was not working. The boy was clearly avoiding him sitting as far away with him in each of their classes together and always rushing out as soon as the bell rung. Kurt soon decided that he would have to find another way to get Blaine to communicate with him.
It was in his last period of the day, French, that he spotted the perfect opportunity. As soon as the bell rang he passed by Blaine’s table and quickly dropped a small piece of paper on it with his number scribbled onto it. He walked out of the classroom before he could see whether Blaine had kept or thrown out the paper.
When Blaine noticed Kurt coming his way he quickly bent over and studied the sheet of paper in front of him. He waited to see Kurt’s figure walk out the door before looking up. Blaine sighed and put away his books in the messenger bag that he carried around school. Its not until he got up and began walking towards the door that he noticed the little piece of paper left on his desk. He walked back curious and unfolded it to find beside Kurt’s name a phone number. Blaine didn’t know what took over him but before he knew it he was tucking it into his back pocket and walked out of the classroom.
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“Mmmm baby, I want you so bad” Santana purred pushing Blaine back against the headboard of his bed before crawling up onto him and straddling his lap. Blaine slid his hands up her back before bringing them to her neck and pulling her into a kiss. Santana wasted no time in pushing her tongue into his mouth moaning as the kiss deepened. She broke the kiss smiling as Blaine whined at the lost.
She began making her way down his throat with her lips, her hands undoing Blaine’s buttons on his shirt, before taking it off completely and throwing it to on the ground along with her cheerleading outfit. She continued her way down his chest, grinding her hips into his. Blaine shut his eyes leaning his head back against the headboard. Santana let her hands explore his chest as she got off of his lap and kissed along his waist.
The nearer she got to his crotch the more Blaine began freaking out. He wasn’t hard yet and he didn’t know how long it would take so before she could go any further he grabbed her neck and pulled her up to his lips. The kiss quickly turned deeper and Blaine let one of his hands slide from her neck to lightly cup her breast. Bad idea. The slight sexual excitement that he had begun feeling quickly disappeared and all was left was a horny girl that had giddily broken the kiss and had gone back to kissing his waist now fiddling with the zipper of his pants.
“Uh wait!” Blaine realized that he was shouting and quickly brought his voice back down.
“Can we just make out so more?” He asked hesitantly and watched as Santana’s confused face turned to one of lust and desire.
“Of course, whatever you want.” She replied moving back up to Blaine’s chest.
Blaine relaxed and focused on Santana. He was determined to have sex with her. It felt as if it was something that he needed to prove to himself. That he was still able to have sex with a girl.
He brought his eyes to Santana who was silently observing him and grabbed her flipping them over so Blaine was on top. He shut his eyes kissing Santana deeply. Nothing. He felt nothing. He deepened the kiss hoping that he would begin to feel that familiar heat in his chest. Or maybe the moan that Santana was emitting would turn him on. Nothing. So Blaine kept trying, kissing along her neck, nibbling her earlobe. The last time Blaine could remember having such an intense make out was with Kurt. Soon enough Blaine begun thinking about Kurt which wasn’t a good idea…
In one last effort to actually get into it and to close off the part of his mine that was flooding with images of Kurt, he begun focusing on each different action that Santana was doing. Her tongue against his, her nails digging into his back, her legs wrapping around his waist, her soft lips moving against his…Blaine felt as if his technique had begun working. But soon he lost himself in his imagination. Now as he pushed his tongue into the mouth beneath him it was no longer Santana’s but Kurt’s.
Blaine moaned the image of Kurt stronger and clearer. He pushed his tongue into “Kurt’s” mouth and traced his lips with it. Keeping his eyes shut he moved his lips along “Kurt’s” long smooth neck sucking hard making sure to mark it. He moved back up and pushed his mouth against the one beneath him and grinded his hips hard.
Blaine’s fantasy was growing stronger. It was “Kurt” moving his hand between them and lightly palming him through his jeans. Soon the pressure was too much and Blaine sat up focusing his eyes on his zipper as he undid it and threw both his pants and boxers to the side of the bed. He shut his eyes again and bent back over “Kurt” and went in for a passionate kiss. “Kurt” quickly took advantage of Blaine’s freed cock and begun sliding his hand up and down twisting till Blaine was moaning and throwing his head back.
“Mmm I want you so bad.” Blaine purred bending back down and sucked on “Kurt’s” earlobe.
Soon a strong desire filled him and he moved “Kurt’s” hand from his cock and brought it to his ass slowly guiding the fingers to his tight entrance. He kept his hand on top of “Kurt’s” and gave him a chaste kiss before taking one of his fingers and pushing it into the tight space. He threw his head back moaning as he pushed the finger in till it was knuckle deep. Lost in his desperate fantasy, it took him a while to realize that the body beneath him had stopped moving. He opened his eyes and found Santana staring at him wide eyed.
“I-I Santana oh my god.” Blaine quickly pulled her finger out wincing at the rough drag in his anus and quickly rolled off of her.
“What the hell Blaine!?” Santana sat up rushing to get off the bed and pulled her cheerleader outfit on, her voice quickly escalating into yelling. “What exactly were you making me do there? I can’t believe you! You disgust me.”
“Santana please just, don’t tell anyone about this.” Blaine sat on the edge of the bed holding his head between his hands.
“Your asking me to keep quiet!? The least you could do is apologize and give me an explanation!” Santana was now dressed and walked over to Blaine.
“Look at me.” She demanded. Blaine slowly brought his head up to look into Santana’s blazing eyes.
“Are you cheating on me!? Am I not giving you enough!?” Santana stared at him expectantly.
“Answer me Blaine!” This time she yelled. Blaine was at lost for words; he didn’t know what to say. So he just kept his mouth shut and prayed that he wouldn’t break down in front of her.
“You know what fine. If you don’t want to talk that’s fine. But don’t you dare try contacting me. Were over.” With that Santana stormed out of the room.
Blaine waited to hear the front door close before he fell back onto his bed and let the tears that he had been holding fall out. Blaine felt sick. He shuddered thinking about Santana’s face. He was disgusted with himself. How could he let himself get carried away like that! He was screwed, he realized. He shut his eyes and turned his face pushing it into the mattress sobbing uncontrollably. He needed someone to tell him it was okay. He needed Kurt.
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Kurt had answered his phone to a sobbing Blaine begging to come over, saying that he needed him. Without any hesitant Kurt gave him his address and hung up. Kurt prayed that Blaine was okay and waited nervously till he heard a knock on his door. He opened the door to a beat down looking Blaine. His eyes were swollen and he looked exhausted. Blaine looked up at Kurt his eyes watering. Neither of them said anything as Kurt pulled him into a hug closing the door behind them. Blaine melted into his arms and began crying into his shoulder. They stayed like that standing for a few minutes, Kurt gently swaying him back and forth, rubbing his back.
He waited till Blaine stopped crying before guiding him up to his room. They both laid on his bed, on their sides as close to each other as possible. They stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed like hours before Blaine tiredly shut his eyes, one last tear sliding down his cheek. Kurt delicately kissed it away and whispered into Blaine’s ear; “Everything is going to be okay.”
Blaine smiled lightly, and Kurt set his head back down and shut his eyes as well. The boys soon fell asleep in each other’s arms.