Saturday 3rd November 2012

Dearest Blaine,

Finally a day off from my long week! It's currently Lunch in the land of HummelBerry (or New York to you people outside the loop). And yes, I am in fact back on my diet. Seems I may have been eating cheesecake, no thanks to Rachel, a little too often. So I'm tucking into a 'delicious and extremely filling' chicken salad as I write. You're practically taking me out for dinner right now. You do spoil me.

Wow. When did I get so light-hearted? I don't remember having in my step. I don't know why I'm cheery. It must be something new, I've had seven, SEVEN, people asking if I'm okay this morning. Even whilst I was on the phone to my dad. Why is that? Why is he suddenly more worried about me when I'm cheery? Still. I'm not going to ask stupid questions.

So! Since it's Saturday, Rachel invited me to that NYADA club. Do you know what that means? That means I can finally get up on that stage after so long! I'm already thinking what to sing. I'm seriously stuck for choice whether to do some Lady Gaga (never go wrong with Gaga) or maybe something a little classical. As long as it's not Journey!

I realise that this is the bar that you sung to me in the night we broke up. But that's in the past now. I'm going to walk into that building with my head held high with a smile on my face knowing that my beautiful Blaine loves me. All I can be thankful for is that we got back together (obviously), so now I can look back on your singing and feel good about it. Besides all of the crying, of course, it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. And I love you all the more for it; If that's even possible.

I know these letters are starting to make less and less sense, aren't they? I just have this feeling that if I write about these things that maybe you will feel a little closer to home. A little closer to me. I hope that it's doing that for you, because it's doing the complete opposite for me. But as you know, I would do anything for you. No matter how painful. Like that time you took a slushie in the eye for me. I suppose that everything you've ever said to me has just...stuck. Especially one of the first pieces of advice you gave me, even before we were close.

'Courage'

You said that to me. Do you remember? I want you to remember that now, Blaine. I want you to keep pushing and pushing until you reach the very end. I know you can do it and I know, no matter what anyone says, that you're going to prove them all wrong. You are going to rise above them all and come home to me. I know you will.

I love you.

Forever and always,

Kurt xxx