Reality At It's Peak~By CupsOfKlaine

Thursday 1st November 2012

My dearest Blaine,

I can't believe it. It's been six months since you were sent away. And yet, this is still as painful as the first time I wrote you. No. It's much, much harder. I miss you so much. I miss the way you look at me with your big doe eyes. I miss the times you wiped my tears away. I miss your smell and your touch and'and you. I miss you Blaine. And I don't know how much longer I can last.

Do you remember when you showed up on that stairwell at Dalton? I know I certainly do. God, you took my breathe away. You still do. You always will. I remember that life changing speech you made, I can still quote it word for word as if it was yesterday. I wish is was yesterday. Then I would be oblivious to where we are now. Or maybe I would be aware of it and convince you not to go.I just wish you would of told me sooner, but it's too late now.

I look at our photo album every night and I know it sounds horrible, but I smile. Not because you're gone, far from that! Just. It's what you do to me. Your beautiful smile in every photo is enough to make me forget. I'm ashamed to say it, but I love to forget. It takes me away from this damned reality. I wish i could call you and hear your voice but I realise...after I found out I stopped calling. You know that. The Army knows that. But I still find the temptation even though I know there's no point. Sometimes I wonder why I still write these letters. My dad and Carole keep trying to convince me to stop. But I can't. I can't stop writing to you. Even if you don't reply. I feel that if I stop writing that I'm just giving up like everyone else, and I'm not ready to do that yet. I don't think I'll ever be ready. I can't handle the thought of finally accepting..well.

Life in New York is course, Rachel is doing amazingly in NYADA and I'm doing quite well at Vogue (even if I'm not a fabulous designer yet). You'll never guess what I did. I went to my first New York party! I know, I know. It's a little risque for me but I remember when you told me to 'live a little'. So I did. I went to a huge party in New York and it was so beautiful! It was set under the stars and there were fireworks. Just wow. I know you'd be proud of me for being able to cross that off my bucket list. What can I say? You inspire me. You'll always inspire me.

Blaine. I know that you're out there. Somewhere. You have to be. And hopefully you'll be reading this one day, hopefully that day will be soon. And hopefully you'll be in my arms soon. Gosh, I sound so lonely. Who am I kidding. Of course I'm lonely. Ever since our last embrace I've been lonely. Darling, you complete me. And I promise you, I will never stop writing you and I will never give up hope for you. I know in every bone in my body that we'll be together again, I don't know when or how, but we will.

Please Blaine, reply soon. Anything. A phonecall, a letter, a messanger pigeon. Please just tell me you're alright and that you're...just tell me you're alright. Please.

I love you. So, so much.

Love always and forever,

Kurt. xxx