Jan. 5, 2013, 5 a.m.
Blackbird
These Broken Wings: Chapter 21
M - Words: 2,053 - Last Updated: Jan 05, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 41/41 - Created: Jul 25, 2012 - Updated: Jan 05, 2013 808 0 3 0 0
Chapter Twenty-One
Kurt loved waking up beside Blaine.
It was something they had rarely had the chance to experience together as kids; Burt always enforced the "no sleeping over" rule, even after they'd turned eighteen, with the argument that it's "still my house". And Kurt could understand it, of course, but it still irked him. He honestly did just want a few nights of falling asleep with their arms wrapped around each other, and a few mornings waking up with shy and sleepy smiles.
They had tried when they were both in New York. But then, it almost seemed more difficult, always trying so desperately hard to just find a moment for each other.
And he knew that was how they fell apart. How they had quietly agreed that, maybe, someday, just... just not then. They weren't meant to be together then.
He reasoned with himself that he had always thought it would be Blaine. Him and Blaine. It was just something in the back of his mind that he'd think about occasionally, even when he and Blaine barely had time to speak to each other.
And then he met Alex. And suddenly, everything changed. He fell in love all over again, and he didn't really mind as each day, the image of that future with Blaine started to disappear. He was very much believing that he was getting his own happy ending different that he had imagined.
And then he lost it all.
Slowly, over the last several months, he started to gain his life back. And with it, he gained a little of that image back, every day.
Kurt liked that these moments with Blaine weren't comparable to anything else. There were no times when he thought about things being the same as with Alex. It wasn't even the same as the moments they'd shared before. No, everything was different. And Kurt loved it.
With their conflicting hours, Kurt and Alex rarely had the chance to awake together, slowly and comfortably. Instead there was the usual dynamic of Alex giving him a kiss goodbye, and Kurt attempting to pull him back into bed for 'just a few more minutes'. When they did have the opportunity, it was with Alex's cheek pressed into Kurt's shoulder, the brunette's arm always numb, wrapped underneath Alex's body.
Waking up with Blaine often found their hands intertwined, their bodies facing each other, one's forehead occasionally leaning into the warmth of the other's neck or area right below collarbone.
Kurt couldn't explain it. He just really liked it.
And that was how he had decided on the idea for a 'gift' for Blaine for Valentine's day, as the holiday quickly approached.
Even with knowing exactly what he was going to do for the holiday, Kurt had agreed to help Finn with a present for Rachel. Mercedes was also coming along, hoping to find the perfect something for Sam as well.
Kurt was finding the day successful, even though Finn and Mercedes hadn't yet bought anything as they entered their third store. Still, Kurt had managed to talk Finn out of buying a positively hideous scarf for Rachel. Finn had even come in handy as Mercedes sought out her gift, reminding her of the collectible geekery that Sam already owned when she wasn't so sure.
"What are you buying for Blaine?" Mercedes asked him, and Kurt turned to face her.
"Well," he responded slowly, "I gave it a lot of thought and I'm not buying him anything." Mercedes raised an eyebrow. "I suppose it's not actually a physical gift, but..."
"Or is it actually a physical gift?" she asked him slyly, and he rolled his eyes, jerking his head slightly toward Finn to remind her of the presence of his step-brother, though he didn't seem to catch the joke anyway. She coughed slightly. "Anyway... go on."
"I was going to ask him to move in with me," Kurt said, flushing slightly, but smiling at her the same. She positively beamed at him.
"Seriously?" Finn asked, and Kurt looked at him, frowning slightly. "Dude—I mean, just... seriously?"
"Yes, seriously, Finn," Kurt snapped in response. "Why shouldn't I be serious about it?" The question hung in the air for a moment, and Mercedes didn't hesitate to point out something on the opposite end of the store, leaving the two brothers to themselves.
Finn sighed. "Like I said before, I'm just worried about you, bro."
"You have no need to be," Kurt told him furiously. "If you're going to be like this every time I say anything about my relationship, then I'd honestly rather you just stay out of it."
"You don't think you're moving too fast?" Finn pressed on.
"No," Kurt told him immediately. "I don't. And before you go on to say that you do, can I remind you that our parents moved in together after dating for less than half the time that Blaine and I have been dating? At least he and I have known each other for almost fifteen years, and we've dated before."
"Yeah, but you know that that whole living arrangement hardly lasted," Finn said.
"Not because of them," Kurt said, turning his attention to a shelf of adorable stuffed bears, picking one up absent-mindedly. "Because you called me a fag."
Finn's face fell slightly. "Kurt, I—we talked about that. You know I'm still sorry, and you know why I said it."
"Despite what other people seem to think, me having a very misguided crush on you was never an excuse," Kurt told him, his tone still even. "It never made it okay."
"I'm sorry," Finn repeated desperately. "I fucked up a lot in high school. You're one of the people that knows the full extent of it." He sighed. "I'm just trying to look out for you, like I promised I would back then. I don't want you hurt, and I don't want Aiden to be either."
And suddenly it clicked. He turned to Finn, understanding that the problem he had was the same problem he'd had when their parents had first started dating. Not with him, but...
"I'm not replacing Alex," he said quietly. "I wouldn't—I couldn't do that. And Aiden knows that. I know you never got asked your opinion about it all, with Mom and Dad, but that was the first thing I did. The moment I thought it was even a possibility, I talked to Aiden about it." He sighed. "I know you're trying to look out for me, Finn, but it's killing me. I'm an adult, I can live my life, and that's what I want to do. I had a pretty awful year and a half after Alex died, and I just want to move forward. I feel like this is an honest step that could help me with that." He looked at Finn closely, hoping to find some hint of him comprehending his words, though the other man still looked a little hesitant as he nodded.
"I trust you," Finn said. "I just... I'm here for you, man. I'm sorry if I've come off a little crazy overprotective. I just don't want to see you as broken and messed up as you were after Alex."
Kurt nodded in understanding. "I know," he said. "And thank you for that." He smiled. "Though you're right, you were a bit on the crazier side of protective brother." Finn smiled at him in response. "Now, I say we go back to the jeweler and you buy Rachel the necklace. With her pregnant, anything else for her to wear simply won't do. And she's told you before she could always use more 'bling'."
Kurt slid the tiny box across the table, and Blaine raised his eyebrows.
"I thought we agreed on no gifts," he said, smiling through his accusatory tone. "You're breaking the rules, Mr. Hummel."
Kurt grinned. "It isn't what you expect," he assured him. He gave him a look, nodding his head and twirling his hand to indicate that he should go on and open the box. And with a smile, Blaine did.
However, after looking at the contents, he tilted his head slightly and looked at Kurt, nonplussed. "A key?" he asked hesitantly. "But—I already have a key to your—"
"It's not to my place," Kurt told him, and Blaine glanced at it again, knitting his eyebrows together in bemusement.
"This is the key for my place," he said slowly. He looked back up at Kurt, then back to the key, turning it over in his fingers. "But, why—?"
"I thought maybe I wouldn't need it anymore," he said casually. "And that maybe you wouldn't need yours either." He licked his lips nervously as Blaine stared at him again. "I thought maybe you could move in," he said. "You and Ella with Aiden and me." Blaine looked at him wordlessly, and Kurt swallowed tightly. "But... you don't... you don't have to, if—"
"No," Blaine said quickly, finally remembering himself. "No, I... yeah—yes. Kurt, I want to. I—I'll need to talk to Ella, but if she says yes, then... then yes."
Kurt couldn't help but grin at the man before him, feeling the sensation of excitement swelling in his chest and stomach, and Blaine intertwined their fingers together across the tabletop.
Perfect. For Kurt, things were suddenly absolutely perfect.
"Ella, sweetheart?"
The young girl looked up at Kurt from her snack, her legs folded up beneath her so she could achieve the perfect height at the table. Her left arm was still sporting the lime green cast she'd gotten just a few weeks before. She smiled, sliding another apple slice into her mouth as Kurt sat beside her.
"I have a big question for you," Kurt said. "And remember that I want you to answer completely honestly. No matter what." Ella nodded quickly, and Kurt drew in a deep breath. "I was wondering how you would feel about you and your Uncle Blaine coming to live here with Aiden and me."
Ella froze, staring at the man in front of her. She shifted slightly. "You want us to live here?" she asked in an uncharacteristically tiny voice.
Kurt licked his lips, a little perturbed by her tone. "Yes, I do."
She nodded slowly. "Would I get my own room?" she asked, next, and Kurt nodded. She paused for a longer period of time. "Can I paint it?"
"Of course," he told her, still perplexed. "Any color that you like."
Suddenly, Ella was crying, clutching the apple slice in her hand so tightly that it was taking the shape of her palm, leaking juice onto the table. "Even p-p-purple?" she asked through her tears, Kurt's eyes wide as he reached out to her quickly, smoothing her hair down comfortingly.
"Of course," he repeated. "I—Ella, what's—?"
"M-my o-old room was purple," she told him suddenly, gasping and crying. "B-but I c-couldn't paint my room at—at U-Uncle B-Blaine's because i-it w-wasn't really h-his!"
And suddenly Kurt understood, pulling the girl into his arms and onto his lap, holding her tightly as he rubbed small circles on her back. He gently tried to quiet her. "It's all right," he cooed. "Sweetheart, it's all right."
Never before had he seen her cry about her parents, or about the life she'd had with them before. And it was amazing how the simple idea of Blaine renting his home so she couldn't have a room that was truly her own brought her to tears.
But Kurt could understand. He didn't remember crying a lot after his own mother died, but he could remember the way his life changed. He remembered having to be on his own more while his father worked, remembered eating nothing but peanut butter sandwiches and fast food for months until his father forced himself to start cooking. He remembered the first time his dad attempted the make the chicken and rice dish his mother always made when Kurt was sad or sick, his favorite meal. And maybe it had been far from perfect, but it still made him feel better. It made him feel at home again.
And he knew that Ella's bedroom was the same way.
"You can make your room look however you want," he told her softly, her crying finally reduced to sniffles as she rubbed her eyes.
"I-I just w-want t-to go home," she said. "When I'm at U-Uncle Blaine's, too, sometimes. I know I-I'm h-home but I still feel like I-I want to g-go home. I j-just feel it in m-my tummy." She looked at him. "If I l-live here, c-can this be my h-home?"
"Of course," he told her. "This can be your home for as long as you want it to be." He smiled softly at her, brushing her curls out of her face. "This can always be your home."
Comments
wow I didn't see that coming. THis has been a favorite of mine since the first chapter- really from the moment I saw the summery- and this is an angle I didn't antipcate but is so perfect. I love that Kurt had the conversation with her not Blaine....it seems to mean more maybe.
Thank you so much! I know I've said it so many times before, but it means so much that people love this angle that I've taken. It's really a story that I never planned on sharing because it was based on some weird dream I had, but a friend convinced me to post it. The reactions I've gotten have really meant the world to me!
awwwwwwwwwwwww