Chapter 26:

"Where have you been?"

Blaine closed the front door behind him and turned to face his father who was standing by the staircase with his arms folded across his chest. He was wearing a suit and tie and his expression was sour.

"Um, school," Blaine said, simply.

His dad blinked a couple of times. "Until 9PM?"

Blaine didn't bother pointing out that it was actually about 8.15, he simply shrugged and said, "I had to work on an assignment with my English partner." He also didn't add the fact that working on an assignment with his English partner had ended with some intense making out in his car.

"The gay one?"

"Yes, dad, the gay one," Blaine said, unable to hold back a sigh. "Does it matter?"

"Everything matters, Blaine."

Blaine resisted the urge to point out that his father was being a hypocrite in saying everything mattered. As far as his father was concerned, glee club didn't matter, Blaine's happiness didn't matter, Blaine didn't matter.

"You should be ready to hear back from all those colleges you applied to soon," his father went on and Blaine's stomach did a flip. "It's lucky you applied to so many places, or I would be worried, what with that stunt you pulled with abandoning the game for singing."

"Um, yeah," Blaine uttered. "Lucky."

Blaine felt Kurt nudging him with his elbow during English. He glanced sideways at him and saw he was pushing his notebook towards him. Blaine looked down to see Kurt's neat handwriting on the side of the page.

Blaine.
~~~

?
~~~

.. Never mind.
~~~

Wait. What. What?
~~~

Kurt didn't write back, he simply sat there, lips tight, staring up at the front of the classroom.

~~~
Kurt?
Kurt, come on.
Kurt. Kurt, I love you.
~~~

Don't write that on paper.

What did you want to tell me?
~~~

Nothing, I'm mad at you.
~~~

Why?
~~~

Because question mark.
~~~

I'm sorry. I take it back. Tell me.
~~~

Blaine saw Kurt stifle a smile out of the corner of his eye, then he took his pen and scribbled.

~~~
Can we talk? I mean, after school?
~~~

Are you breaking up with me?
~~~

Blaine.
~~~

Seriously, though. Are you breaking up with me? If you are, I'd rather you just did it now.
~~~

Through a note passed during English?
~~~

Oh my God, you are! You're breaking up with me!
~~~

Will you relax?
~~~

Not if you're breaking up with me!
~~~

Blaine.
~~~

? ? ?
~~~

Blaine. R E L A X.
~~~

Sooooooooooo...
You're NOT breaking up with me?
~~~

No. I am not breaking up with you.
~~~

Because you know I love you, right?
Oh.
Good.
That's good.
Okay. So, what do we need to talk about?
~~~

Meet me after school, okay?
~~~

But..
Okay :)
~~~

"You have had me freaking out all day," Blaine said when Kurt walked through the hedges to the familiar field. Blaine was sitting in the grass, picking the white petals off of a daisy. Kurt went and sat next to him.

"Okay," Kurt said and took a deep breath. "I need to ask you something."

"Shoot," Blaine shrugged, but Kurt could tell he was afraid of what was to come.

"Blaine, where did you apply to college?"

Kurt watched as Blaine's fingers stopped tugging the daisy petals, his face freezing. His eyes were wide and his mouth was stretched into a thin, tight line.

"Oh, we're having this conversation," Blaine said, sounding frightened.

Kurt nodded, because they had to have it at some time, didn't they? They were nearing the end of school and they needed to talk about this, get everything straightened out and settled and easy to understand. Right now, Kurt had no idea what was going to happen. They needed to have this talk.

"I didn't apply anywhere."

Kurt gaped at him for a long time, the rustle of the leaves in the wind the only sound for miles.

"Um," Kurt said, stunned. "What?"

"I told my dad I did," he explained. "But I don't know what I want to do. I thought football was my ticket out of here, but I don't want to play football any more. By the time I realised I should probably have applied to places that would allow me to play football, it was too late."

"So," Kurt said, carefully. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Blaine sighed, laying back and folding his arms behind his head. "Get a job, if I live that long. My dad won't be happy when he finds out, so who knows?"

Kurt shook his head. This changed everything.

"Will you sit up for a minute and look at me?"

Blaine studied him with knitted brows, then sat up and gave him a quizzical look. Kurt reached inside his pocket and produced a white envelope, then handed it to Blaine. Blaine opened it, slowly, as if he was afraid that snakes might pop out. Eventually, he got it open and lifted the letter out. He unfolded it, then read it. Kurt looked away.

"You.." he trailed off, then looked up to meet Kurt's eyes. Kurt was surprised to see Blaine was smiling. "You got into college! In New York!" Kurt nodded, slowly. "Why aren't you happy about this?"

"Um," Kurt said and gave Blaine a meaningful look.

Blaine looked bewildered for a couple of heart beats, then realisation dawned on his face. "Oh," he said, quietly. "Us. You mean us."

Kurt gave Blaine a slow nod.

"So, um, what exactly did you want to, um, say?"

"I don't know," Kurt sighed. "I figured you would have a plan. I know we didn't talk about it much. Were we trying to push it away? By not talking about it? That was dumb, wasn't it? Damn."

Blaine was watching him, his head tilted sideways.

"I guess in my mind I hoped you had applied to somewhere sort of close by," Kurt admitted. "But, um, I guess not.."

"I should have," Blaine muttered.

"It's not your fault," Kurt told him. "You had a lot going on, we didn't know what—what this was, not for a long time."

They were both silent then, the trees still rustling loudly and the soft breeze casting small goose bumps all along their skin.

"So, what now?" Blaine whispered, finally.

Kurt took a deep breath and told him exactly what he was thinking. "Maybe we should.." He took another inhale, then exhaled slowly. "Maybe we should just—just break up."

"What?"

"I said—"

"I heard what you said!" Blaine said, a little hysterically. He was done being calm, this was serious. "Are you kidding me?"

Blaine watched through wide eyes as Kurt shook his head, slowly.

"No," he said. "No, I think it's for the best."

Blaine couldn't think straight. He hated when he was having a heated conversation and his mind became a muddle. Not that this was really a heated conversation, but Blaine was too flustered to be capable of composing his thoughts in his head.

"I don't get it," he said, truthfully. "I thought we were okay. More than okay, actually."

"Do you know how hard it's going to be to just—just break away when the time comes?" Kurt asked, blue eyes boring into Blaine. "If we spend every day for the rest of the time we're at school together, then we're going to have a hard time saying goodbye. At least if we do it this way, we'll be used to not being together, we'll get through it easier."

"So..." Blaine trailed off, shaking his head. "So, you don't even want to try and stay together?"

"It's not that I don't want to, Blai—"

"It certainly seems that way, Kurt," Blaine told him, heart beat racing far too quickly.

"Blaine," Kurt groaned. "I just don't want you to think you have to sit around waiting for me, while I'm there and you're here."

Blaine couldn't really fathom Kurt's thought process. "Oh," he said, then. "Is this about you wanting someone better than me? Because if it is, yeah, I get it. I don't like it, obviously, but I do get it, because I've been nothing but trouble since the start of this."

"Blaine, stop—"

"Why?" Blaine asked, voice breaking a little. God, he was not going to cry, not now. "Explain it to me. Properly. Don't leave me without an explanation."

"Look," Kurt said, after a long pause. "This is not about me wanting someone better than you. There isn't anyone better than you, Blaine, at least not for me. But I can't be there, knowing you're here feeling obligated to wait for me to come back so we can be together. You don't deserve that."

"Keep going."

Kurt sighed, tiredly. "I just think now is a good time to do it, before it's too late."

"Before it's too late?" Blaine asked, voice raising a little.

"Blaine, don't—"

"I love you," Blaine stressed. "You don't think it's already too late?"

"You'll get over me—" Blaine snorted and Kurt sighed, yet again. "Do you think I want this, Blaine?"

Blaine only shrugged. He was stubborn sometimes.

"I don't want this," Kurt clarified. "I want us, I do, but.."

"You told me you weren't breaking up with me," Blaine pointed out, which was probably a childish thing to do, but he was in no mood for being mature right now.

"That was because I thought we could work something out," Kurt told him. "But you didn't apply anywhere. I just.. I wasn't expecting that."

"I've given everything up for you."

"No," Kurt said, adamantly. "No, you haven't. Don't pull that one on me, Blaine Anderson. If I had never come into your life, you would still find yourself having to hide who you are. I didn't make you gay, you were already gay and maybe, had I not shown up, maybe it would have taken you longer to realise, but no. You're not guilt tripping me with this one."

"I didn't mean to," Blaine said, quietly. He hadn't meant to accuse him of that, he had just gotten so frustrated and scared, that words had spilled from his mouth before he could think the better of it. "I just.. I don't want to lose you." Blaine paused, then breathed in for a long time. His chest felt tight.

"I'm sorry."

"I love you."

"I know you do," Kurt nodded.

"I kind of hate you right now, too."

A moment of silence passed.

"Do you?" Kurt asked, timidly.

"No," Blaine shook his head. "I couldn't ever hate you. I don't even know why I said that. I'm just—I'm mad, Kurt. I'm mad that you think this is going to be easy for me, for either of us, because even though I know the whole love thing is sort of one-sided, I do know that you still care about me. Sometimes I wake up next to you and I catch you just staring at me and even though you don't ever say you love me back, I figure that it's enough, that having you look at me like that means more than three measly little words that get thrown around like they mean nothing every day all over this stupid world."

"You're not really making this any easier," Kurt chuckled, but his heart wasn't in it.

"Good," Blaine pouted. He knew it was ridiculous and immature, but he just could not bring himself to care.

"I told you before that no matter the circumstances between me and you, that I would still be there for you, as a—a friend, someone you can come to whenever you need to. I meant that."

"Yeah, well, you can keep your friendship."

Kurt was frowning at him, he could feel it.

"Sorry," Blaine uttered. "I didn't mean that."

"Yes," Kurt said. "You did mean that and I guess I can't blame you."

"Whatever," Blaine said, quietly.

A long time passed without either of them speaking. Blaine had a headache. He wished he could just sleep and then maybe when he woke up, it would all have been a dream.

"So, I, uh, heard you've got a big game this weekend," Kurt said.

Blaine only nodded.

"I also heard you have an important practice at the same time we have practice for regionals."

Blaine nodded again.

"Do you know what you're going to do?"

Blaine raised his eyes to Kurt's then and he fell apart when he looked into those cyan seas. "Actually, I had no idea up to an hour, or so ago," Blaine told him, jaw clenched. "But you've made my choice a lot easier. Football, here I come."

"You're choosing football because I had to put an end to our relationship?"

"I only ever joined glee for you," Blaine admitted. "I wanted to be close to you. I don't get to be close to you any more, so screw glee club. I'm done."

"You joined glee club because of me?"

"Don't act like you didn't already know that, Kurt," Blaine said and he was too tired to keep up his angered glare. He was just so tired.

"Maybe it started out like that," Kurt said. "But I know how much you like being in glee. You smile in glee, Blaine."

"I smile when I'm with you, too," Blaine shot back. "But we don't always get to be everywhere we want, do we?"

Blaine stood up then and brushed his thighs down. He began walking away, Kurt watching him.

"Blaine."

He turned back to look as Kurt climbed to his feet. He held out a hand and Blaine looked down to see the bracelet he had given Kurt on his birthday in a pool of silver in the centre of his palm.

"I can't keep it," Kurt choked out. "I wouldn't be able to—Well. I just wouldn't be able."

Blaine took it from him, then looked up to meet his shining blue eyes. Blaine held up his wrist, his own bracelet hanging there. "Do you want this back?"

"No," Kurt said. "No, never."

Blaine looked at him and he could see this was hurting him as much as it hurt Blaine, himself. He thought about putting his arms around him, kissing him once more, telling him it would be okay, but he didn't, because having Kurt in his arms and against his lips would only make letting go harder.

And as for saying it would be okay, he couldn't, because he honestly couldn't predict a time when it would be.

"Quinn Fabray is pregnant."

Kurt looked up quickly at Mercedes. "Um, what?"

"Quinn," Mercedes repeated. "She's pregnant."

"How do you know?" Kurt asked, carefully, closing his locker door.

"She was sick in history this morning and she kept refusing to go see the nurse, until Mrs Brown insisted on escorting her and someone was in the waiting room while Quinn got checked over and heard the whole thing and now everyone knows," Mercedes told him. "I—I'm really sorry, Kurt. I know you and Blaine were sort of..."

"You're just assuming it's Blaine's?" Kurt asked, before he could stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. "I mean, it could be anyone's, right? I mean, you know Quinn."

"Kurt," Mercedes said, pity in her eyes. "I know you want it to be someone else's, but you've got to face facts. Blaine Anderson is the father of that baby, whether you like it or not."

Kurt almost told her. he opened his mouth, then closed it again. This was not his secret to reveal.

"Yeah," he said, finally. "Yeah, you're right."

"Have you seen your girlfriend?"

Blaine looked up and saw Puck standing there, eye still black from the pinch he had given him. "Um, no."

"Did you know?"

"Did I know what?" Blaine asked, slowly. "You and I are no longer friends, why are you talking to me?"

Puck sat down on the bench in the boy's changing rooms. "Quinn's pregnant."

Blaine stopped still. If Quinn's secret was out, that meant Blaine's secret wouldn't be kept a secret for much longer. "Oh."

"Oh?" Puck said, quickly. "Oh? Dude, she's pregnant!"

"I heard you the first time."

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Puck asked, eyes wide.

"Um, nothing."

"Why don't you cut the crap, Anderson?" Puck snapped. "Why don't you drop the gay club and the gay English partner and the gay way you've been lately and go take care of your girlfriend?"

Blaine wanted to hit him again, because he was behaving like this, when Blaine knew about him and Quinn. "Puckerman, stay out of my life," Blaine said, mentally counting to ten to calm himself down.

"You're such an asshole, Blaine!" Puck groaned. "You've got the hottest girl in school and you're ruining your rep. by hanging out with glee club losers! Your new friends are geeks, Anderson! Can't you see that? Or are you just turning into one of them and you can't tell the difference any more?"

Blaine had had enough.

"Actually, Puck, they're better friends to me than you, or any of the guys have ever been," Blaine informed him. "For one, none of them have been sleeping with my girlfriend."

Puck stopped still and simply stared at Blaine.

"Yeah, I know," Blaine nodded. "I'm not stupid, Puck. You think I don't know why you joined glee? You think I don't know that you were keeping an eye on her? I do know, Puck. So maybe instead of meeting Sandy Ryerson under the bleachers for drugs and pumping yourself with alcohol every single night, you should go talk to Quinn about her being pregnant, because it has nothing to do with me." Blaine took a deep breath, then exhaled for a long time. "You know what else? Screw this championship game. Since you think I'm turning into too much of a 'geek', there's no way I could lead the team to a victory. So good luck without me."

Blaine wouldn't even look in his direction. Kurt had been surprised when he had come to the regionals rehearsal and seen Blaine there, practicing dance moves with Mike Chang. Blaine had glanced up at him when he had first entered the room, but had looked quickly away. He hadn't looked at him since.

Everyone was there, except for Puck and Quinn, for obvious reasons. Half way through rehearsal, Mr Schuester went to the library to look for a song book. He told the kids to take a five minute break and that he would be right back.

"I just can't get that stupid move," Mercedes said, sitting down between Kurt and Rachel.

"It's actually very easy, Mercedes," Rachel said. "If you use your left foot to push you upwards, it makes things a whole lot easier. I'll show you once Mr Schuester gets back."

Kurt drifted off into his own thoughts as Rachel and Mercedes discussed the dance moves. He had them down already, he didn't need to listen, anyway. Blaine was still trying to pick up a move from Mike, but kept on leaving a step out. Everyone else was chatting quietly and laughing and drinking water.

Kurt looked up then when he heard a loud voice over by the door.

"Hey, Anderson!"

Blaine turned around to look at Puck, as he walked through the door, followed by what appeared to be the rest of the football team. Everyone was looking at them now.

"Excuse me, Noah," Rachel said, standing up and placing her hands on her narrow plaid-covered hips. "You chose to go to your silly practice, so please leave."

Puckerman ignored her and a couple of the other players laughed from where they stood by the door. Puck walked closer to Blaine.

"You seriously came to gay club? Again?"

"Did I not make it clear that I wasn't going to football?" Blaine snapped back.

"Is this over Quinn?" Puck asked. "Is that what this is about?"

A few people exchanged confused looks, but Kurt just watched.

"Hardly," Blaine rolled his hazel eyes. "This is about me being tired of your crap."

Puck shoved Blaine forward and then Blaine was shoving him back and Kurt almost stood up, but Finn had moved forward and pulled Blaine back.

"He's not worth it, dude," Finn told Blaine.

"You're right," Blaine spat out. "He's not."

"I'm worth more than you, Anderson."

Blaine looked back at him, eyes narrowed. "I doubt that."

"Well," Puck said, with a sneer. "You couldn't even keep your girlfriend satisfied, so I had to do it for you. Yeah, that's right, everyone. Baby Puckerman, not Anderson."

An echo of gasps and low whispers filled the room. Some of the footballers' jaws had dropped and they were looking at each other in surprise.

"It disturbs me that you think the fact that I am not going to be a teenage father would disappoint me," Blaine told him.

"You'd bail on her even if it was your kid, Anderson," Puck said, angrily. "Don't lie. You've been bailing on all of us since the start of the year. You turned into this—this fucking fag that sings and dances with another group of fags and you expect a girl like Quinn Fabray to stay with you?"

"You're not grasping the concept here, Puck," Blaine said. "I don't care about Quinn, I never have. We despise one another, we always have."

Puck was staring at him, confusedly. "You were the best friend I had, Anderson. We were always alike, I thought you were cool, you know? But actually you're not. You're an asshole and I don't get how you managed to stay on top. I don't know how you're on top, now—Oh, of course, unless you're on top in another way, which maybe I could believe. You're acting weird enough, how should I know what you're doing—or who you're doing—in your spare time?"

Kurt could see it in Puck's eyes, in his body language that he didn't actually believe Blaine was gay, he was just saying these things to get to him, to show him up in front of everyone else. Kurt turned his gaze to Blaine, who just looked as if he might blow his top. He was clenching his fists and they had turned white and he was grinding down on his teeth and his dark brows were knit tightly in the centre of his head.

And that was when Kurt knew, he knew what was coming next and he couldn't even stand up to stop him, because Blaine had reached that point they had talked about. He had reached the edge and instead of allowing himself to tip over, he had to pull himself up and come clean.

"Actually," Blaine said, looking around the room, briefly, then resting his eyes back on Puck. "We were never alike, Puck. We have nothing in common. In face," Blaine said, looking across at the other footballers. "I have nothing in common with any of you—Well." Kurt saw Blaine's eyes lingering on Karofsky for a split second. "Maybe one of you, but that's where the similarities stop. The thing is, Puck, you think you're always right and most of the time, you're not. This time on the other hand, you're half right, so congratulations for that."

The whole class was silent now, as Blaine walked down the front of the room where everyone could see him. He raised his head and looked around, then opened his mouth to speak.

"I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not," Blaine said, firmly. "So, I have a confession to make."