Chapter 2:

"Hey," Kurt said, sounding flustered. He adjusted the headset and quickly hit send on the email he had been writing. "My boss is in a particularly foul mood today and I can't leave until I finish sending off emails. Where are you?"

"Almost there," Blaine said on the line. A car horn sounded in the background. "I can—"

"No, no," Kurt said, before Blaine could cancel. "I'm almost done, I promise. Almost everyone else has gone home and it's just Isabelle next door and that weird guy with the bandana across the hall, so you could come up and wait if you don't think it's going to be too boring."

He heard Blaine's hum of uncertainty.

"Please?" Kurt added. "I know you've got to, um, work and stuff later today and I don't want to cancel our date, so...come up? I'll call down and let them know to send you in?"

"Okay," Blaine said, after a beat of silence. "Are you sure?"

Kurt grinned. "Take the elevator to floor eight, Blaine."

He ended the call and quickly tidied his desk, before pulling the compact mirror from his pocket to check he looked okay. He had had a hectic day and his boss had gone home after demanding he finish every last bit of paperwork. Kurt sighed and pressed a button and waited until security picked up.

"Hi, this is Kurt Hummel. I'm expecting a Blaine Anderson in the next few minutes. If you could just send him up, that'd be great."

The guy at security grunted back a "'kay," before hanging up. Kurt sat back and waited and a few minutes later, Blaine appeared outside the door, looking lost. He was looking the other way, head twisting as he searched for the correct office.

"Blaine," Kurt said, standing up and opening the door..

Blaine turned and when he met Kurt's eyes, he smiled. He came closer. "I can't believe I'm at Vogue dot com. I can't believe you work here. I mean, I can, because, you know, fabulous and everything," he said, gesturing at Kurt's outfit, "but at the same time, I really can't believe you work here."

Kurt laughed and pulled an extra computer chair across the room so that Blaine could sit next to him. "Paperwork, remember?" Kurt said. "I'm practically a secretary."

Blaine sat down and squinted at the computer screen. "They're wasting your talents, but I guess you have to work your way up, huh?"

Kurt shrugged and sat down, too. "I suppose. It can get tedious, though."

"I'll bet," Blaine said. "Need any help?"

Kurt looked around and his eyes stopped on the pile of letters he had just printed off. "Those need to go into envelopes," he said, pointing at them. "If you don't want to, though—"

Blaine slid his chair across to grab the pile and came back. "Get me the envelopes."

Kurt smiled and handed him a packet. "Not the ideal date, but..." He shrugged.

"This could be fun," Blaine said, folding the first letter. "It's been a while since I've done anything even close to this."

Kurt gave him a smile and started typing the next email. Blaine looked content sitting there, folding paper and sealing envelopes and it kind of broke Kurt's heart a little bit. Blaine hadn't finished school. He had had to face the cruel, harsh realities of the world way before he should have and Kurt complained about his job and before that he had complained about his schoolwork, but none of that compared to the hardship that Blaine had to endure every single day of his life.

"You're staring at me," Blaine pointed out.

Kurt blinked quickly. "Well, you're nice to look at."

Blaine smiled and looked down at his envelope. Kurt returned to his emails and got one sent before looking back at Blaine.

"Wow," Kurt said, looking at the envelopes stacked neatly on the desk. "That was, like, record time, Blaine."

Blaine shrugged one shoulder. "I used to help my dad with his paperwork sometimes," he said, quietly. "So, no one will care that I'm here?" he asked, quickly changing the subject. Kurt never asked about Blaine's family or home life or what had really happened to make him go. He didn't feel they'd been together long enough for that just yet.

Kurt shook his head. "Boss went home. He's got family stuff." He shrugged. "Bandana guy is always on the phone, so he doesn't care and Isabelle is—"

"Choose your words carefully."

Both Kurt and Blaine looked up at the sound of the voice and found Isabelle standing there. Kurt smiled.

"Isabelle is amazing," he finished, with a chuckle. "Blaine Anderson, this is the fabulous Isabelle Wright, though I'm sure you know who she is already."

"Oh, my God, that's Isabelle Wright," Blaine hissed next to him, eyes wide and bright and golden.

Kurt and Isabelle both laughed. "The novelty wears off, trust me," Isabelle said walking inside and sitting on the edge of the desk. She toyed with a piece of fabric that had been laying there. "So, who is this dashing, young man, Kurt?"

"This is Blaine," Kurt said.

Isabelle raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh," Kurt said, again. "Boyfriend."

Isabelle grinned and Kurt realised what he had said, but Blaine was still staring at Isabelle like he had just seen a miracle performed.

"You didn't tell me the Isabelle you're always talking about is Isabelle Wright," he said.

"I thought you would have put two and two together," Kurt told him.

"But that's Isabelle Wright, Kurt." He looked panicked all of a sudden. "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so pleased to meet you. I think—I mean, you are brilliant."

Isabelle looked at Kurt, both eyebrows high. "I like this one, Kurt, where can I get me one?"

Kurt smiled. Blaine still looked completely starstruck.

"Sweetie, your boyfriend is an impressive designer, too, you know," Isabelle said, looking at Blaine. "It's the reason I hired him."

"Oh, God, she hired you."

Kurt laughed again. "Technically, yes, but she's not my boss, unfortunately." He looked up. "Isabelle, I think he's fallen in love. You've converted him."

She hopped up off the desk. "Well, then," she said, "I'd better leave and let you convert him back!"

She said goodbye and left the office, closing the door behind her. Kurt turned to look at Blaine.

"Do I need to get you a glass of water? An oxygen mask? An ambulance?" he teased.

Blaine blinked at him. "Boyfriend," was all he said.

Kurt swallowed. "W-what?" He hadn't been thinking, it had just come out, it—

"Boyfriend," Blaine said again. "You said... You introduced me as your boyfriend. To Isabelle Wright. You said I was your boyfriend."

Kurt looked down and brushed invisible dust off of his pants. "I didn't think that telling her you're a guy I occasionally go out with was appropriate, because that usually translates as, I don't know, fuckbuddy." He shrugged, cheeks burning. "Besides, I didn't know being introduced as my boyfriend was such a huge insult to you."

Blaine's eyes went wide and he sat up straight. "An insult?" he said, voice higher. "Kurt, I didn't—Kurt. If it's an insult to anyone, it's you."

Kurt shook his head quickly, but before he could go on, Blaine continued speaking.

"You need to finish your emails and I've got to—"

"So, are we just going to ignore this?"

Blaine sighed. "No, okay, we'll talk about it."

"It's been three weeks, Blaine," Kurt went on. "Things have been great, at least I think so. I know we have trouble with, um, communication sometimes," which was actually a huge understatement, since Blaine often avoided anything that had to do with his family or personal life, "but I think we've reached boyfriend status, don't you? I mean, we go out and we watch movies and we make out on my couch a lot and unless I've been completely misled by every single romance movie and chick-flick and musical I've ever seen, it seems like we're at that stage. The boyfriend stage. Unless you really, really don't want it, in which case, I don't know how I feel. I mean, if you're not ready just yet, I can deal with that, but if it has to do with you not ever wanting a boyfriend, well, I just don't know if I want to just be your...I don't know, but I don't want to break up and is it even breaking up if we never really were boyfriends? I don't know, I just don't know. But, we can't just not talk abo—"

"Kurt," Blaine said, firmly, reaching out to hold his shoulders steady. "Kurt, you're babbling and possibly hyperventilating." He smiled. "I am flattered that you want me as your boyfriend, I am, it's just that I don't want you to have to worry about me."

"I already worry, Blaine. Putting a label on it isn't going to change that."

Blaine smiled. "I get that," he said. "It's not only that, though. I keep thinking about how you're going to handle telling people about me. What if they ask questions?"

"I don't care."

"You say that now," Blaine said, "but when you're faced with the actual questions, that'll change."

Kurt smiled back. "Be my boyfriend, Blaine," he said. "You already are. It's just a matter of using that word. Boyfriend."

"Boyfriend," Blaine repeated, quietly, still smiling.

Kurt nodded. "Boyfriend."

Blaine tilted his head very slightly. "You're sure?"

Kurt laughed out loud, flung his arms around Blaine's neck and pulled him into a kiss. They spent the next ten minutes making out until the guy with the bandana from across the hall rapped on the glass in the door and gave them an unamused look. After that, they laughed until they cried and Blaine couldn't remember the last time that had happened. He was happy. They both were.

Blaine stood shivering outside Lapis Lazuli, a seedy nightclub filled with the kind of people Blaine so often had to deal with. He dug his hands inside his pockets, hoping to heat them up a bit. It was around 2am and he had been standing there for a good hour waiting for the club to let out so that he could get things over with and go home.

He pulled out his phone to look at the time and he had a text from Kurt. He smiled and opened it.

Stay safe. I'll call you in the morning x.

He pocketed the phone, still smiling and leaned against the wall, feeling a little bit warmer. Kurt was his boyfriend now. He'd said it so many times out loud that the word sounded foreign to him, but he couldn't stop. Kurt wanted to be his boyfriend and although Blaine knew there would be complications because of his predicament, he couldn't help being ecstatically happy that he had someone who cared, someone else to stay safe for.

"How much you chargin', gorgeous?"

Blaine looked up at the man smirking at him. He was taller than Blaine, but not by much and he was balding. His nose was pointed and he wore a long, beige coat, hands in his pockets. His eyes were small and dark and it made Blaine's stomach turn, but he stood up straight and smiled confidently.

"Fifty for an hour. You want anything special it's going to cost you."

"Special, huh?" the man asked, walking closer. "How about you come with me and tell me all about your specialties?"

He smelled like alcohol and cheap aftershave. Blaine took a step backwards. "Motel down the block. That way." He gestured to his right. "Meet me there in fifteen minutes. Book a room, wait in the entrance hall and we'll discuss my specialties when we've got some privacy."

The man looked sceptical, they always did, but if one refused, another one would always come along and Blaine wasn't going to compromise his safety for anything. He batted his eyelashes and smiled pleasantly and the man's dark eyes raked him up and down.

"Fine," he said, finally. "I want two hours."

Blaine raised his eyebrows. "I don't think it'll take two hours."

"I want two hours."

Blaine resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Believe it or not, I do have to sleep. I don't really have the time to wait around for you to get hard again so we can go for round two."

"Two hours, $120 and I'll even get you off." The guy winked.

Blaine sighed. "$130 and you won't even have to get me off."

The man shook his head. "That's what the extra twenty is for."

Blaine stared. "You're giving me an extra twenty so that I'll let you get me off," he said flatly. The man nodded a little too eagerly. Blaine let out a long breath. "Okay, whatever you're into. Fifteen minutes in the motel. It's called the Sunshine Paths and it's cheap. The room doesn't come out of my money."

"Done," the guy said, turning around. "See you soon, gorgeous."

Blaine watched him walk away and once he was out of sight, he leaned back against the wall again and sighed. When would it ever end?

"Hey, you," Kurt said, when Blaine picked up the phone some weeks later. "You busy?"

He cleared his throat. "Hi," he greeted him. "Um, I've got a, um, customer. I mean, not right now, but I'm about to head over to a, um, hotel."

A man had approached him on the street in broad daylight. He'd told Blaine that he worked across the street and a co-worker had pointed Blaine out to him and that he wanted to hire him for a couple of hours. It was a special case, different to anything he had done in a while and although he wasn't up for anything too strenuous, he had accepted, because the guy was offering a large sum of money for his time.

"Oh," Kurt said, but he didn't sound as if he was judging, he never did, not once in the nine weeks they had been dating. "Alright, well, when you're done, do you want to hang out?"

Blaine shuffled his feet uncomfortably and looked at his watch. It was a little after 9pm. He had never told Kurt, but he didn't like anyone to see him after he was done working. He hated himself afterwards and he needed to be alone to deal with that. So far, he had gotten away with it, because since dating Kurt, he had taken to working particularly late in order to avoid any kind of confrontation or questioning. "Uh, how about I see you tomorrow instead?" he offered.

"Why not tonight?" Kurt asked and Blaine cringed slightly at the sound of disappointment in his voice.

"I just... I don't think I'll be much company after working," he said. "I just need to be at home afterwards."

"I could come over," Kurt suggested.

Blaine frowned. He didn't want Kurt to see his apartment and Kurt knew he was always making excuses not to have him over. "Look, Kurt, it's not that I don't want to see you. I'd love to see you," he told him and it was true, if he could have chosen between taking this job and seeing Kurt, he would have chosen Kurt hands down, but he needed the money. His rent was due at the end of the week and he was already behind. "It's just that..." He stopped and took a breath. "This is going to be extra unpleasant and...not to be crude, but I'm probably going to be in some pain afterwards and I really won't be much company."

"Pain?" Kurt squeaked out.

"Look, it's bad enough that you know I'm doing this, I'm not going to go into detail about what exactly I'll be doing today," he said. "And I'm not trying to be cruel, I'm just trying to stop you from worrying."

Kurt snorted, but Blaine could tell that his heart wasn't in it. "I worry about you all the time, idiot," he told him. "How extreme are we talking here?"

Blaine sighed. "Let's just say double the pay for double the act and leave it at that."

"Blaine!" Kurt said, sounding scandalised. His voice came out in a hiss then, "Are you having a threesome?"

Blaine would have smiled had he not been so nervous. "Don't worry, I can handle it."

"I know you can," Kurt said. "You just shouldn't have to."

"Kurt," Blaine groaned.

Kurt sighed dramatically. "I know, I know. Don't make a big deal out of your job, I get it. But that doesn't mean I'm not worried about you."

Kurt always worried about him, Blaine knew that and he wished desperately that he didn't have to.

"I've been fine so far, it'll be okay," he said. "I'll call you after, if that'll make you feel better."

"Okay," he said, defeated. "You're sure I can't come over? You can't keep me away forever, you know."

The mention of forever brought about mixed feelings for Blaine. On the one hand, the idea of forever with Kurt, even after only a few weeks, seemed very appealing. On the other hand, he knew they couldn't go on like this forever and that it was just a matter of time before things reached breaking point.

"I know," he said anyway. "But, no, it's okay. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll call you before you go to sleep and we'll make plans."

"Okay," Kurt said. "Be careful, okay?"

"I will," Blaine promised. "Have a good night and I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt said again. "Just...call me if you need me. The time doesn't matter. I mean, if anything—"

"Nothing will go wrong," Blaine assured him, but he could never be entirely sure that that was true. "But if it does—which is unlikely—you'll be first on my list."

"Good," Kurt said, but he didn't sound at all convinced.

"Okay, I need to get going. I'll call you later. Go do something to take your mind off of this, okay?" Kurt made a sound that suggested that this was impossible. "Thanks for caring," Blaine added, because he was grateful. Nobody had cared about him in such a long time.

"Always," Kurt told him. "Go on, hang up. The faster you get going, the faster it'll be all over."

Blaine chuckled weakly. "Well, I'm booked for two hours, so I don't think it'll go fast no matter what. But, yeah, I need to go. Talk to you later."

"Talk to you later," Kurt told him, before ending the call. He never, ever said goodbye.

It was like standing in front of two hungry lions and Blaine felt like a weak, helpless, little lamb. They grinned at him, teeth white, straight, bleached, intent and cunning behind their eyes.

"Told you he was pretty," the one who had approached Blaine in the first place told the other guy.

"Yeah," the other one, the one with the dirty, blonde hair said. "He can't be legal, can he?" Blaine wasn't sure, but he thought there might have been an air of concern in the man's voice.

He was well accustomed to being spoken about like he wasn't even in the room. He stood up straight, letting them ogle him with their burning eyes.

"You legal, kid?" the first one enquired. He had darker hair and darker eyes. Neither of them could have been over twenty-five.

It was always hard to tell whether the client (or clients, in this case) wanted him to tell them he was underage.

"I'm eighteen," he said, truthfully. "But I know what I'm doing."

The dark haired one grinned. "I'll just bet you do," he said. "How about you show us what you've got under all those clothes?"

Blaine started to undress immediately. He shed every item of clothing and stood back for them to look. He should have felt more embarrassed, should have been insecure about others looking at him entirely stripped bare, but he didn't, not any more and when he thought about that, it made him feel queasy, because it was like realising he had lost yet another piece of his humanity. He hated it, he hated all of it.

"He's gorgeous, don't you think, Eric?" the dark haired guy said, eyes raking up and down Blaine's body.

"Yeah," the other one, Eric, said. Blaine always hated the guys he slept with, but if he had to choose between the two, he would have preferred Eric. Eric wasn't looking at him like a piece of meat. He was staring, they all did, but unlike the other guy, he didn't look like he was thinking about degrading him, making him feel small, used. He was admiring him.

"What's your name, beautiful?" the other one asked.

"Blaine," Blaine said. He never lied about his name, because it didn't matter. No one cared what he did or who he was. He was just a body, a ghost of a person others used and took pleasure from. They didn't care that he had a brother or that he preferred Diet Coke to regular Coke or that his best subject at school had been history. All they wanted was for him to cooperate and then they'd be gone, out of his life forever like they hadn't just taken another part of what was left of his soul.

"This is Eric," the dark haired guy said, gesturing to the other one. "I'm Andrew and you are my birthday present." Andrew reached out and tipped Blaine's chin up.

"Happy birthday," Blaine said, flatly. He tried to get into it, to make himself look professional, but he was not in the mood today, he just wanted to go home and call his boyfriend.

"It certainly will be," Andrew said, still grinning.

Blaine cleared his throat. "Okay, we've got two hours. Tell me where you want me."

"And I told her it was much too safe," Rachel said, eyes going to the ceiling. "But, of course, she didn't listen to me and she sang the song and you should have seen it, Kurt, Carmen Tibideaux went crazy! Tammy was in tears by the end of it! It didn't help, of course, that I was up next and I always—Kurt! Are you even listening to me?"

Kurt looked up from the screen of his phone. "Hmm?" he asked. "What?"

She gave him a pointed look.

"Sorry, Rachel," he apologised. "My mind is just...elsewhere."

"It always is lately," she said, rolling her eyes. "Really, I thought getting a boyfriend would be good for you, but all it's done is have your head on another planet. Also, when do I get to meet this elusive boyfriend, anyway? It's been months, Kurt. What is the issue? You said he's cute. Is he disfigured in some way? Is that why you don't want me to see him?"

Kurt sighed and stood up, phone still clutched in his hand. "No, Rachel, his face and every other part of him that I've seen is absolutely perfect. I'm not hiding him from you, he's just busy."

She followed him across the room. "He can't be that busy if you have dates with him every other night."

"He is," Kurt said. "He's got a lot on."

Rachel didn't look convinced in the slightest. "What exactly does he do? If, of course, he really does exist."

Kurt sighed again and turned to face her. "Look, he's going to call me when he gets off work. I'll get him to say hi to you, okay? Will that get you to lay off?"

She thought for a moment, then said, "Okay. I'm going to do some vocal exercises. Come get me when he calls."

"Of course," he said.

Rachel turned on her heel and went inside her bedroom, closing the door behind her. Kurt looked back down at his phone, willing it to ring, but all that filled the screen was the time.

11.45pm.

"That's it, baby," Andrew growled as he thrust roughly inside Blaine again. Blaine was laying on his side, legs bent, Andrew's hands gripping his hips. He had Eric's cock in his mouth. "Suck him good," Andrew went on, speeding up his thrusts. "You were made for this."

A lot of them told Blaine that, that he was made for it, and sometimes, he wondered if he was, if he was put on the earth solely for the pleasure of other men, so that they could do whatever they wanted with him with no complaints, no boundaries.

"Such a good little cocksucker," Andrew said, pressing inside him again.

Eric was moaning quietly, his eyes on his boyfriend, or husband, or whatever he was to him, but Andrew was too busy looking at Blaine's lips, stretched and swollen, to notice. Blaine tried to moan as expected, doing his best to hide the fact that the pain was almost unbearable.

"Bet he's good," Andrew continued. He pulled out entirely and climbed across the bed. "Think I'm gonna have a go at that pretty mouth. You go and try his ass, babe, it's tight."

Eric let himself slide out of Blaine's mouth and he moved out of the way to let Andrew take his place. Blaine closed his eyes as Andrew's cock pushed past his lips and began rocking in and out roughly. He felt Eric coming up behind him and he began slipping in gently. He was grateful for that, because the burning had been almost unbearable.

"God," Eric choked out. "Andy, you didn't prep him enough." Blaine felt Eric sliding out again. His body ached having not been prepped properly. Andrew had requested Blaine allow them to prep him so he hadn't done it himself and he was really regretting having agreed. Eric touched his hip, touch gentle.

Andrew looked up and smirked. "He can handle it," he told Eric. "Bet he loves it, having a thick cock filling up all his slutty little holes."

Eric exhaled and then slid down Blaine's body. He took Blaine's half-hard cock in his hand and then pressed his mouth down over it. Andrew laughed cruelly.

"Bet you love his mouth on you," he told Blaine, eyes wide and glittering. "Little whore."

Blaine didn't like either of them, but he wondered what Eric was doing with an asshole like Andrew. He let out an unintentional moan as Eric's tongue pressed against his slit.

"Yeah, he loves this," Andrew observed. "He loves havi—shit!"

Andrew stopped at the sound of a phone ringing from the other side of the room. Eric stopped, too and watched as Andrew climbed off of the bed and went to grab the phone.

"Who is it?" Eric asked, sitting down next to where Blaine, who was panting heavily and trying with every part of him not to beg for it to end, lay.

"It's my dad," Andrew replied. "I gotta take this."

Eric nodded and Andrew answered the phone, telling his dad to hang on a minute. He redressed and slipped out of the room without another word.

"Um," Eric said, looking down at Blaine. "Time must be almost up now, huh?"

Blaine shrugged, couldn't move. "What time is it?"

"11.43."

"You guys have 17 minutes," Blaine told him. "Better get your money's worth."

Eric shrugged one shoulder. "I'm not into this," he said. "It's not you, or anything, you're hot, you are. I just... This was his idea. It's his birthday and I asked what he wanted and...I was surprised, you know, when he suggested...this, but I said yes, because he was really into it and... Sorry." He shook his head. "This is my first time with a... I'm just... This was Andy's idea."

Blaine only nodded. He didn't really care whose idea it was, he just wanted to go home.

"Did he hurt—did we hurt you?"

Blaine looked up in surprise. They didn't generally talk to him, let alone ask after his welfare. "I'll be okay."

Eric nodded and crossed his legs, covering up. "He should have prepped you better."

Blaine didn't say anything.

"He's not always like this, you know," Eric informed him. "He's not...like that. With me."

Blaine didn't tell him that he didn't care. "I get it," he said, instead. "It's okay to be forceful with a guy you're never going to see again, but not with your boyfriend."

"Fiance," Eric corrected.

Blaine gave him a look of pity. Eric nodded slowly and looked down at his hands. He looked up a minute later. "You know, he's probably going to be gone for a while. We should just get dressed. I'll get you your money."

Blaine didn't budge. "I'll wait until time is up."

"Oh," Eric said. "You could just leave. I'll tell him I told you to go. He won't be mad or anything."

Blaine stayed where he was. He couldn't really imagine Andrew being anything less than a jerk.

"So, what do you do? You know, other than-than this?"

"Nothing," Blaine replied, flatly.

"Oh," he said again. "Sorry, I'm just trying to make conversation."

Blaine nodded again. He didn't seem so bad, despite everything, so he tried to make it easier for him. "What about you?"

"I'm at school for design," he said. "Fashion."

"My boyfriend works in fashion," Blaine told him. He'd never had the chance to tell anyone about Kurt. "He's interning at Vogue dot com."

"Wow," Eric said. "Is he... Does he do...this, too?"

Blaine gave him a look. "No way," he said, sounding more defensive than was intended.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"No, I get it," Blaine said, hoping to redeem himself. "Not a lot of people are willing to go out with a prostitute." He could hardly believe that Kurt still wanted to see him. "I mean, it's hard for him, but he...he knew what he was getting himself into when we started dating."

"Guess you can't help who you love," Eric said, smiling to himself. "I couldn't stand Andrew when I met him, but that didn't mean I wasn't into him. You seem like a nice kid, though. Too nice for this business."

Blaine rolled his eyes instinctively. "I don't have a lot of alternatives," he told him. "I need the money. I need to live."

He had no idea why he was telling him this. It was none of his business and he would be gone out of his life for good in a matter of minutes. He didn't need to tell him this.

"Does he hate it? Your boyfriend?"

Blaine nodded slowly. "He doesn't tell me that he does, but I can see it when he looks at me."

Blaine could see it in Kurt's eyes, the worry, the dismay, the fear and the disapproval. He never said anything, never acted like Blaine deserved to be judged for what he did, who he was, but Blaine knew. He was so used to disapproval that picking up on it was like a second nature to him.

"Has he made you choose?"

Blaine gave him a quizzical look.

"You know, between him and this?"

"Oh," Blaine said. "No." Blaine had never considered such a thing, had never thought of Kurt asking him to do that, but it frightened him, because he wasn't sure what he would pick.

"If he did...?"

"I don't know," Blaine said quickly. "We haven't been together for very long."

Eric nodded, like he understood. "You should really just get dressed."

"Your fiance hasn't come yet," Blaine said.

"He's not likely to, either," Eric said. "Not after getting off the phone with his dad."

Blaine nodded. "Been there," he muttered.

Eric opened his mouth, but closed it again. He climbed down off the bed and picked up his jacket, then held out a bunch of notes in front of Blaine.

"I threw an extra fifty in for wasting your time," he told Blaine. "And for the, um, bad prepping. Is that enough?"

Blaine sat up. "You don't have to do that. Your time isn't even up yet."

"Take it," Eric pleaded. "Start some kind of fund. Make enough money so that you can do something else, go to school, or something. Get out of this line of work."

"Look, that's nice of you and everything, but—"

"Okay, well, just...I don't know, take your boyfriend out, use it to buy him a nice dinner."

Blaine eyed the notes. Kurt deserved something nice for putting up with him. He deserved things couldn't afford, but this would be a start. He sighed. "Alright," he said, taking the money. "Um, thanks, I guess."

"Thank you," Eric corrected, as he started to get dressed. "I mean, I don't think you should keep doing it, but...you're good at it. At what you do. I'm sorry if he—if we hurt you. Do you need...anything?"

Blaine looked down at his lap. He could feel his bottom lip quivering, throat tightening, back aching and he tried to stop the tears, but they fell anyway. "You're n-not supposed to be n-nice to me," he whispered. "You're all s-supposed to be the same. Just s-sleazy guys who use me to get off. You're not supposed to-to t-talk to me, or-or offer me a-anything. You're supposed to-to f-fuck me and leave."

Eric sat down on the bed next to him. "Sweetie, how long have you been doing this?"

Blaine just closed his eyes.

"You're just a kid," Eric went on. "Let people help you out. Don't put yourself in this danger any more."

"Look, c-can you just leave?" Blaine asked, standing up. He wobbled a little, then went to get his clothes.

"Blaine," Eric said and it was the first time he said his name. "You're bleeding."

Blaine looked down and exhaled shakily. He ignored it, ignored the blood and the pain and quickly dressed, before tucking his money into his pocket and walking towards the door. He turned to look at the other man.

"I, uh..." He shook his head. "Look, um, I won't say it's been nice, it hasn't, but, um..."

"Good luck, Blaine," Eric said, with a faint smile.

Blaine nodded and then fled the hotel room as quickly as he could.

Kurt lay on his bed, phone resting on his chest as the worst possible scenarios ran through his mind. It was almost 2am and he hadn't heard from Blaine and he wasn't picking up his calls or answering his texts. He didn't know what he would do if Blaine didn't contact him at all. He had no idea where he lived or how he would find out, so all he could do was wait, helplessly.

Kurt had quickly fallen for Blaine. He was easy to fall for. He knew that he cared far more than he should have cared for someone he had only known for a little over nine weeks. There were so many things he wanted to change, to fix and make right, but he didn't know how. All he knew was that it didn't matter what Blaine did, or who he had been with, he just knew that he wanted to have him in his life.

Kurt yawned, but he wouldn't give in to sleep. He needed to know that Blaine was okay.

Blaine stayed in the shower for two full hours, long after the water had gone cold. He could hardly feel it, could hardly feel anything but the stinging beneath his eyes from the tears he'd shed. His body ached and his head hurt and he needed to forget, needed to transport himself back in time and make things different.

He shivered as he stepped out of the shower and dried himself with a towel, then got dressed and went to pull the sofa-bed out. He grabbed a pillow and a blanket and lay down in the dark and tried to sleep, but he couldn't. The intense need to be held struck him again and that was when he remembered.

Kurt.

The phone started ringing at 3.37am and Kurt answered it instantly.

"Blaine!" he all but shouted down the line, heart hammering. "Blaine, I was so worried—"

"Hi," Blaine croaked out. "Sorry, I forgot to call. It's, um, been a long night."

He sounded small and hurt and Kurt's blood ran cold. "Blaine, do you need—"

"Just calling because I said I would," Blaine spoke over him. "It's late, you should get some sleep."

"I'm not tired," Kurt said and it was true, he didn't feel tired any more. "Do you want to talk about it? You're okay, right?"

"Mostly," Blaine said, with a weak chuckle. "I just...need to sleep it off. Wanted to hear your voice first."

Kurt smiled a little and turned on his side. "Stay on the line until you fall asleep, okay?" he asked shakily.

Blaine mumbled an affirmative. "I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

Kurt nodded and remembered Blaine couldn't see him. "Of course," he said. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but you can. I'm here if you need to talk."

"Not now, though," Blaine said, quietly. "Hey, Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember how last week you were singing in your kitchen and you were gonna sing for me, but the phone rang?"

"Mmhmm?" Kurt said, recalling the day.

"You should sing for me now."

Kurt smiled. "Alright," he said. "But only because you had a bad day. Pick your song."

"Something happy."

Kurt didn't think Blaine had a lot of happiness in his life. He started to sing.

"Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away," he sang, quietly. "Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day."

Blaine laughed weakly, but told him to keep going.

"For love may come and tap you on the shoulder some starless night, just in case you feel you want to hold him, you'll have a pocketful of starlight," he went on, wondering if it was too much to change the pronouns so early on in their relationship, but Blaine didn't seem to notice. He sang the chorus and kept going, "For when your troubles start multiplying and they just might, it's easy to forget them without trying with just a pocketful of starlight."

Blaine's phone buzzed in his pocket and the mixed feelings of delight and dread hit him instantly. There was only one person it could be.

"Hi," he answered quietly.

"Hey," Kurt said, happily. "Did I get you at a bad time?"

For Blaine, it was always a bad time.

"No," he said anyway. "I'm not doing anything profound."

"We never made plans last night," Kurt told him.

"Right," Blaine said, voice strained. He looked down at his old, sleep clothes and ran a hand through his messy hair. He had spent the entire day sitting around, thinking about how wrong things had gone and wallowing in his own misery. "Um, how's tomorrow? Meet you for lunch?"

Blaine could practically see Kurt's frown. "Blaine, I haven't seen you since Monday."

"I know."

"It's Friday."

"I know," he said again.

"Blaine."

"What?" he asked, timidly.

"I still have a boyfriend, don't I? I mean, you would have told me if we'd broken up, wouldn't you?"

Blaine felt panic rising. "No! I mean, yes. I mean, no we didn't break up. We didn't."

"Okay," Kurt said carefully. "Then when are you going to stop avoiding me?"

Blaine closed his eyes and sighed. He opened them again. "I'll pick you up at 8."

"You'll pick me up at 8," Kurt repeated, confused.

"Yes," Blaine said. "7, if you'd prefer it."

Kurt was quiet.

"Kurt?"

"I'm here," he said. "Look, if you don't want to see me, that's okay. Don't force yourself to. It's just...it's stupid, but I miss you. But if you aren't up to seeing me, I'll understand."

Blaine smiled. "Thanks," he said. "And it's not stupid. I miss you, too. Just sometimes...sometimes I need to be alone. I'm not used to having anyone."

"You don't have to be alone any more."

"I know," Blaine said. "I'm figuring that out." He meant it, too. He had been doing a lot of thinking on the matter. He paused. "Okay, so tonight at 8?"

"You're sure?" Kurt asked. "We can just have a phone date."

"I'm sure," Blaine assured him. "8?"

"You offered 7," Kurt said and he could hear him smiling. "Pick me up at 7?"

"Okay," Blaine said, smiling. "I'll let you go get ready."

"Okay," Kurt said softly. "Hey, Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"You make me happy, you know?" he said. "I mean, you're always so sad, but...I want to make you as happy as you make me."

"Trust me," Blaine said, "this is the happiest I've been in a long time."

"You look amazing," Blaine said when Kurt opened the door that evening. He was wearing tight, dark pants and a grey sweater that clung in all the right places.

"Hi, thanks. So do you." Kurt stepped back to let him in. Blaine looked unsure. "She's out," Kurt said. "She's at a karaoke night with the beautiful people."

Rachel and Blaine still hadn't met and she asked so many questions, that Kurt was worried she would put Blaine on the spot if they did meet. He didn't need that kind of trouble. He suspected that Blaine didn't need it either.

"The beautiful people?" Blaine asked, going inside.

"From NYADA," Kurt clarified. "Sit down, I'm just going to grab my scarf."

Kurt went to his room and got his scarf, then walked back out into the living room where Blaine was sitting rigid on the couch. Kurt went up behind him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Blaine smiled.

"I missed you," Kurt said.

"Sorry," Blaine said. "I wanted to see you."

"I know," Kurt told him. "Want to stay here instead?"

"We've got a table booked for 8pm at that new Italian place."

"We do?"

Blaine nodded.

"Okay," Kurt said. "I guess we need to get going then."

"Yeah," Blaine said and began to stand up, but he stopped, face twisting. He fell back down into a seated position.

"Blaine..."

"I'm okay," he exhaled slowly.

"Cancel the reservations," Kurt said, sitting down beside him, mind racing with all the things that could be wrong. Blaine could be cut, or bruised, or injured. "We'll order in."

Blaine pushed himself up again, but Kurt shook his head and reached out to touch his knee, trying not to be too offended by the way he flinched at the contact.

"Let's stay here," Kurt said. "I'll get you anything you need, you won't even have to move."

Blaine frowned. "I don't need a nurse."

"Boyfriend."

"What?"

"Taking care of you when you need it doesn't make me a nurse," Kurt explained. "It just makes me your boyfriend."

Blaine looked down at his hands. "That's still kind of insane to me. Boyfriend. I just never thought I'd..." He shrugged, like Kurt could fill in the gaps.

"You're my first, too," Kurt said, smiling. Blaine knew that already. "I know that it's different, though. I know that you need to get used to this more than I do, but I need to know that I'm not crowding you. Am I the dreaded, clingy boyfriend everyone has nightmares about?"

Blaine laughed and covered Kurt's hand with his own. "No," he said. "I appreciate the interest and the concern. Sometimes, I get moody and push you away, but I don't mean to. I don't want to."

Kurt understood, or at least he hoped he understood.

"I'm here for you," he assured him. "Okay, so, I'm going to go get changed, because these jeans are tight and too good to wear for the purpose of lazing around. Want to borrow some clothes so you can relax a little?" Blaine looked at him, awestruck. Kurt eyed him for a moment, then smiled. "I'll be right back."

Kurt went to his bedroom and changed, then grabbed some pyjama pants and an old t-shirt before going back out into the living room.

"Those are going to be a bit long on you," he said, handing Blaine the clothes. "The shirt should be okay, though. You can use my room to change. Or the bathroom if it makes you more comfortable."

"Kurt, I spend 90% of my time in strange beds, your bedroom isn't going to make me uncomfortable."

Kurt didn't say anything, just raised a thin eyebrow.

"Sorry," Blaine mumbled. "Habit."

"You have an awful habit of putting yourself down and making yourself into something you're not," Kurt observed. "Go get changed and I'll grab some menus and we can order."

An hour later, Blaine was changed and they were eating pizza. The atmosphere was a little tense.

"Kurt."

"Yeah?"

"Can I..." Blaine paused, took a deep breath. "Could I maybe talk to you? About last night?"

Kurt looked up, stunned. Blaine never wanted to talk about any of his jobs, never wanted Kurt to know more than was absolutely necessary and while Kurt knew when some were worse than others, he never really knew to what extent.

"Yes," Kurt said instantly. "Absolutely. Of course." He picked his phone up off of the coffee table and started pushing keys. "I'm just going to make sure Rachel isn't coming back anytime soon. I don't want us to be disturbed."

Blaine nodded, looking skittish. Kurt sent a text.

To Rachel:
What time are you coming home?

The reply came almost immediately.

From Rachel:
In about an hour. I'm just staying for Brody's solo. It's quiet tonight. Why? Did you and Blaine decide to blow off the date and have your own little party? ;)

Kurt rolled his eyes.

To Rachel:
No. Well, yes. To the blowing off part. He's going through some stuff and needs to talk. Any chance you can stay out later? Or maybe stay at Brody's or someone's?

Blaine was watching him out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm trying to convince her to stay out, or at a friend's place."

"You don't have to do that," Blaine said. "This is her home. You know, it can wait. Maybe tomorrow, or the next day, or—"

"No," Kurt said. He wasn't going to let this go. Blaine was willing to talk and Kurt wanted to listen, needed to, even. Rachel was not going to intrude on that. "No, this is important. I live here, too and she doesn't have any problems with kicking me out when she wants some alone time here with Finn, or Brody, or whoever it is on a particular week."

"I don't want to make things difficult."

"You're not. Blaine, I care about you. I'm going to be here for you no matter what. You need to understand that. You're not a burden, or difficult, or any of the things that you think you are. You're my boyfriend and if you want to talk, then we'll talk. This comes first, okay?"

Blaine only nodded, not appearing convinced in the least. A new text came in then.

From Rachel:
I can't just stay at Brody's! What kind of girl do you think I am? You know we aren't dating, Kurt. Finn and I are working things out.

Kurt didn't let Blaine know that she was being difficult. He simply replied, looking neutral.

To Rachel:
Stay with a friend and I'll go with you to Callbacks next week.

Rachel had been trying to get Kurt to go to the karaoke bar ever since she'd discovered its existence. Kurt didn't feel like being the odd one out of Rachel and all her NYADA friends. It reminded him of the rejection he had suffered, reminded him that that dream was long gone.

From Rachel:
REALLY? YOU PROMISE?

He typed back a reply quickly.

To Rachel:
I promise. Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow. I need to go. Bye.

He switched his phone off and left it down on the table. He turned to face Blaine.

"You have my full attention," he swore.

Blaine closed his eyes and breathed in and out slowly. He opened them and folded his hands together in his lap.

"I had a breakdown last night," he admitted. "Not during, but...right after. I cried in front of one of them. He was being nice and I didn't want that. I want to hate them. I want to hate all of them."

Blaine felt so stupid. He felt vulnerable and small and weak and disgusting and the fact that Kurt wasn't giving him a look of distaste somehow made it worse.

"How much of this are you willing to listen to?" Blaine asked. "I mean, I don't want to tell you anything that makes you uncomfortable."

"Everything," Kurt said. "If it involves you I want to know about it."

The need to cry hit Blaine then and he fought it, not wanting to add to the hopelessness he was embodying right now.

"They were engaged. One of them was called Andrew and the other one was Eric. At first, I hated that they were looking at me. I hated them for looking like I was some kind of plaything, but I realised that Eric—he was looking at me differently. He was just...just looking. Andrew told me to strip, so I did and then he-he told me to give the other guy a blow job. Is this too much?" he asked, seeing the way Kurt was staring.

"No," Kurt said. "It's just...new. Keep going. I can handle it."

Blaine rubbed at his eyes. "Do you think this is going to make you look at me differently? Will this...is it going to change anything?"

"Of course not," Kurt told him, not missing a beat. "It's what you do, not who you are and if I look a little put out, it's only because I'm a blushing virgin who is scared to watch porn. Just...tell me. I'll adjust. I want to adjust."

Blaine smiled. "You've never watched porn?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Don't start. I tried, I failed. I never tried again. Was that a detailed enough explanation?"

Blaine laughed quietly. "Okay," he said. He coughed. "Okay, so, he started-he started stretching me, you know, with the lube and he was a little rougher than was necessary, but I didn't argue. They were paying. If they wanted to be a little more forceful, I'd adapt. Then before I was even close to ready, he was p-pushing in." He blushed brighter. "God, it hurt so much, but he didn't stop, he kept going. He kept doing it. It gets me mad when they call me names. I mean, I don't let them know that, but it does and no matter how true the things they call me might be, it still hurts. It seemed to go on forever and then they switched places. Eric, he wasn't rough with me. He just... Okay. Um, so he noticed that I wasn't stretched properly and he didn't...didn't go inside. He started to-to s-suck me and he was kind of, uh, gentle with me, but Andrew was still saying things and I was still in a lot of pain and then his phone rang and he had to leave to answer it.

"Eric didn't touch me after he left. He told me that he wasn't into it, that Andrew had wanted it and he'd gone along with it. We talked a little. They don't talk to me, not usually, not unless it's to ask me about sex, or to praise my, um, skills, I guess. But Eric, he talked to me. I told him about you. He's at design school. He's studying fashion. I told him you were with Vogue and he asked me how you felt about me doing...this. He...asked if you'd asked me to choose yet. Between you and my work."

"I would never do that," Kurt assured him. "I'm not comfortable with it, I'm not going to pretend that I am, but I know that you need the money and I know that your pride won't allow you to let me help you out. I'm not going to push you into making any decisions. This is up to you. If you need me to help you, I'm right here, but in the end, it's your decision."

Blaine nodded. Kurt had such a great understanding of it all and it never failed to surprise him. At the same time, it made him dizzy, nervous and afraid.

"I hated that he was nice to me, Kurt," Blaine went on. "He told me I was too nice for what I was doing, that I should try get out of it. He asked if I needed anything when he saw the blood."

"The blood?" Kurt asked, paling, eyes going wide with alarm.

"I'm fine," Blaine said. "It was just a little blood from the bad prep job. No big deal. It happens."

"Jesus, Blaine..."

"If this is too much—"

"No," Kurt said, adamant. "Keep going."

Blaine rubbed at his eyes again, feeling a headache coming on. "It's easier if they treat me badly," Blaine said. "It makes them less real. If they talk to me and show me any kind of kindness, it means they're human. It's so much easier to pretend that they're these made up monsters inside my head, but his words, they're haunting me. He wasn't a monster. He was just a guy in love and he wanted to make the love of his life happy. Sure, it was a unique sort of happiness, but...he's just a guy and that means they're all just guys and of course I knew that, but it all seems so much more real now.

"You don't have to understand that. It's okay if you don't. I just panicked. I panicked and I spent a long time in the shower afterwards, which is why it took me so long to call you. I needed to wash it all away, the uncleanliness and the misery and the hurt and the realisation, but it's all still here. I don't know how to get rid of it. I needed to work it out and that meant avoiding you, no matter how much I wanted to see you. I still haven't worked it out and I thought I was protecting you by not letting you know everything, I thought it was a good way to keep the two things separate, you know, the good and the bad. But then you look at me and you don't push me and you're willing to just sit around and hold my hand when things get bad and I wondered if keeping these things from you was the right decision.

"I shot back at you with some stupid quip and you didn't get mad at me for taking it out on you, you got mad because I had put myself down and I knew that I had to talk to you. It's not fair of me to do the things I do and not tell you why. This affects you, too, now and I need to remember that. So from now on, if you're willing to listen, I want to talk to you about this stuff. Not all the time, I don't want to go into great detail about what I'm getting up to with other men, but sometimes I need someone to hold me together, even if I want to keep you far away from all this crap. I need you and I know you're strong enough to take it. It's not the easiest thing for me to admit, but I don't want to have to do this by myself any more."

Kurt inched forward and pulled Blaine into a hug. "You're going to be okay," he promised him. "You're going to get through this and we'll be fine. I know it."

Blaine could only sob quietly.

"Stay here tonight," Kurt dared to say. "I just hate the idea of you going home to an empty apartment. I know it's kind of soon for us to, um, share a bed, but I'd feel better to have you with me."

"Are you sure?"

Kurt nodded against his shoulder. "Is that a yes?"

"Yeah," Blaine hiccupped. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"Everything smells like you in here," Blaine said, walking across Kurt's room to look out the window.

Kurt chuckled. "Well, I hope that's a good thing."

Blaine turned around and smiled, the moon casting an almost-halo behind his head. "Of course it is," Blaine told him. "I love how you smell."

Kurt flashed him a grin. "Are you comfortable in what you're wearing, or do you need something different to sleep in?"

Blaine noticed the blush in his cheeks. "Are you asking me what I wear to bed?"

Kurt's mouth fell into an 'o' shape. "N-not like that!" he stammered. He blinked quickly and climbed under the covers.

Blaine rolled his eyes fondly and climbed in next to him, hoping that he wasn't imposing. "This is fine," he told him. "I usually wear a lot of layers to bed," he admitted. "It's a...security thing, I guess, but you're here. I feel safe."

Kurt turned to look at him, eyes sad. "I'm glad," he said.

"Is this what you always wear or are you wearing more because I'm here?"

"What's the supposed to mean?" Kurt asked, defensively.

"Nothing," Blaine said. "I was making a joke."

"Oh," Kurt mumbled. "Sorry, I thought you were accusing me of not wanting to touch you, or something." He moved in closer. "Because that's not true at all."

Blaine's heart stuttered in his chest as Kurt leaned in and kissed him slowly, before deepening the kiss. He felt reluctant in letting things go too far. His and Kurt's relationship was about romance. He didn't want to spoil that with sex. The idea of sex with Kurt was nice, but it wasn't something he thought about a lot, despite Kurt being extremely sexy.

"Sorry," Blaine said, inching backwards when his knee brushed against Kurt's prominent erection.

"Don't be silly," Kurt said. "You have nothing to apologise for."

"I know it's stupid, not being ready for more when I'm...well, me, but—"

"Don't even finish that sentence," Kurt said, pressing a finger to his lips. "It is not stupid. I know they don't mean anything to you."

"They don't, they never have."

"I know," Kurt said, with a nod. "And I'm sorry for making it awkward. I, um, can't help...that." His eyes dropped and his cheeks burned pink.

"You didn't make it awkward," Blaine promised. "And it's flattering that I have that effect on you."

Kurt hit him playfully and they laughed quietly. When their laughter faded, Kurt leaned back and looked at him.

"You like me, right?" he asked. "I mean, I know it's not a big deal, but I never...have that effect on you. Do you like me?"

Blaine laughed. "God, Kurt," he said. "I'm crazy about you and trust me, you've had the same effect on me many times. I just let my inhibitions and worries get in the way. Sex is just...it's different for me. I know that to you it means a lot, but to me, it lost its meaning a long time ago. I promise you that you are totally sexy and hot and all those things, it's just that I want to show you in other ways. Is that okay?"

Kurt nodded instantly. "Yes," he said. "I didn't mean to make a big deal out of it."

"No, this is good. We should talk about this stuff more."

Kurt nodded again. He blinked and looked up at Blaine through the canopy of his lashes. "You...you think I'm s-sexy?"

"Unbelievably so," Blaine said, going closer again. "I promise. I just want this to last and I think that if it gets sexual really quickly it won't last."

Kurt nodded and kissed his lips once. "Can I ask something?"

Blaine told him that he could.

"Tell me about your first time?"

Blaine emitted a shaky breath and averted his gaze from his boyfriend's.

"You don't have to," Kurt assured him.

"I'll tell you," Blaine said, quietly, lifting his eyes again. "I want us to know things about each other."

"You can ask me stuff, too, then," Kurt offered.

Blaine nodded. "Okay," he said. "Can I ask you a question first? I'll tell you about my first time afterwards."

"Go for it," Kurt said, with a smile.

"Tell me about the kiss," he said. "The stolen one."

Kurt's smile fell and he sighed. "You mean my first kiss?"

"I don't want to hear about your first kiss," Blaine said, a small smile playing on his lips. "I want to hear about the one before that. The one with the bully guy."

Kurt gave him a slow smile and reached out to link their fingers together. "Dave Karofsky. Football team. Spent a lot of good money on slushies that usually ended up in my face. He made it his mission to make my life a misery. I mean, they all gave me a hard time, but Karofsky... It was different with him. It was the way he looked at me."

Blaine nodded knowingly.

"I got tired of it. He shoved me one day and I went after him. I yelled at him and he got mad and before I knew what was happening, he kissed me. I pushed him off and he stormed out. It shook me pretty badly, but I got it. I knew why he hated me so much. He transferred after that. After junior prom. I didn't see him again until Valentine's day of my senior year when a guy in a gorilla costume kept showing up with heart shaped chocolate boxes and balloons and flowers and I was curious to know who he was. No one had ever taken any kind of interest in me. I got a card asking me to meet him at Breadstix and when I got there, it was Karofsky. It would be an understatement to say I was shocked."

"Wow," Blaine said. "That's...insane. Then what happened?"

Kurt shrugged one shoulder. "I told him I didn't like him like that," he said. "He left and some guy from his school saw the whole thing. He got outed and he tried to kill himself. He's okay. I mean, he's alive. I went to see him in the hospital. He'd been calling me and stuff and I'd ignored it and I felt guilty when I heard what had happened. We're okay, though. We're not friends, or anything, but he's out now and he's got that job at Breadstix and while what he did was wrong, I can't hate him for it. I don't let it get to me like I used to. The idea of having my first kiss taken from me like that... I'm a hopeless romantic. I thought the world was over when it happened, but now, it doesn't matter any more. It doesn't matter whether it's your first or your fiftieth, what matters is what it means to you."

He stressed that last part, as if trying to get a message through to Blaine.

"You are such a good person," Blaine told him.

"Yeah, well, I try," Kurt teased. "So, it's your turn. Tell me whatever you're comfortable with telling me."

Blaine turned his head and stared up at the ceiling.

"There's this club in the city," he began. "Lapis Lazuli. It's the place my friend Sam had a job stripping. It's kind of a hot spot. If you're looking to pay for some adult fun, it's the place to go, I guess. So, I'd decided to try it out. I was desperate. I was about to lose my apartment and I wasn't able to afford good food, so I made the decision to do it. I went there and I stood by the bar and I must have looked nervous. I was shaking. A guy came up to me after a little while. He started hitting on me and telling me how much he'd give me for...various things and I chickened out. I got out of there, but when I got outside, I stopped and I thought about it and I convinced myself to go back in.

"The guy had gone off with one of the others, I guess. So, I waited and another one approached me and I said yes before I could change my mind. He was in the city on business. He was staying at a hotel and he took me back there and...honestly, I think he got off on the innocence thing. I mean, I had no idea what I was doing. It really hurt, but I pushed through it and it felt kind of surreal. Like I was in a bad porn movie. I mean, I didn't think real people said those things, I always thought they were bad lines made for those videos.

"When it was over, I got the money and got out of there. It took me a while to get home, because I was kind of...in pain. When I got in, I stayed in the shower for three hours and I just...just cried and I hated myself. I hated myself so much for letting it happen. I didn't do it again for a week when money ran out again. After that, I was doing it all the time. It doesn't get any easier. It's awful. I hate it. I hate what it's done to me and I hate that it's made me miss out on so much, but it's all I know any more."

Kurt moved in closer and pressed his forehead to Blaine's. "I feel so close to you." He cautiously wound his arms around Blaine's waist, smiling when he didn't flinch away. "I know it's only been a couple of months, but I feel like it's been longer. I feel like it can go somewhere."

Blaine looked away instantly.

"If that's too much too soon please forget I said that," Kurt said, panicking a bit.

"No, it's not that," Blaine said. "It's not that. I feel close to you, too. I just... I'm waiting for it to crash and burn any day now. This is going to get in the way. I pretend to myself that it won't, because you're really understanding, but I know it will. I know that at some point, you're going to want more than making out on your couch. I know I'll want it, too, but I don't want this to turn into another sex thing. My entire life is sex and I want this to be different. I want it to be more. I know it can't work, not when you've got so much going for you and I have to think about long term, Kurt. A future with me means a future with my job and you don't deserve that."

"Okay," Kurt said, pulling Blaine back to him. "First of all, you are not your job. I want you. I don't care what anyone thinks or how much baggage you've got. I want you. Got it?"

Blaine nodded, but was not entirely convinced.

"And as for the sex thing," Kurt went on, "we don't need it. Not now. And you know what? If we do get to a point where it's something we want, I promise you it will be different. It'll mean something. Hypothetically speaking, we are going to have a perfect first time together. This relationship could never just be sex. It'll always be more than that. I could have told you that the first week we started dating. This has potential. There's a definite spark."

Blaine gave him a smile. "You think?"

"I know," Kurt assured him. "We are going to be fine. Trust me."

Blaine did. Kurt was the only person he did trust, the only person he had trusted in a long, long time. He hoped he wasn't making a mistake.