Chapter 19:

"Call her," Blaine urged for the umpteenth time.

Santana threw a pillow at him and groaned. "I am not going to call her when they just broke up. Even I have more morals than that, Anderson."

"Look, if you want her back—"

"The word 'back' suggests that I had her. I never did."

Blaine sighed and lay back on Santana's bed. She was perched on the edge, looking miserable. He really wanted to help her. They stayed there in the heavy silence for a long time.

"What would you do, if you were me?"

Blaine opened his eyes and looked at her. Her eyes were shifting, which meant she was nervous.

"If Brittany was Kurt and I was you?"

Santana nodded.

Blaine thought for a minute. "I don't know. It's a different set up."

Santana sighed and shifted on the bed. She turned and faced Blaine. "What if you'd never come out? What if you'd had this...this relationship with Hummel and then gotten too scared to tell people that you did? What if you'd just let what you guys had slip away because of fear and he ended up far away from you, with someone else? And then they broke up and you wanted him back, because you're ready now, to come clean. What do you do?"

Blaine shivered very slightly. That could have happened to him. He might never have come out and he could have lost Kurt.

"I guess I'd talk to him," he told Santana. "Call him. Go see him. Something.. Make some kind of grand gesture. I don't know." He sighed and thought again for a moment. "I guess the important thing would be to show him how ready I was to come out—that I was completely out, I guess. Maybe tell him I wanted to try again, that I was willing to go slow, ease back into what we had. I'd make sure he knew how much I loved him. I think that's important, y'know? That he knew I never stopped. That I was just too afraid, but that that didn't mean I didn't love him." He paused again. "I think I'd show him I can't let him go—that I refuse to let him go. I can't really imagine a life without Kurt. Don't give up. I wouldn't give up on Kurt. Never. If it doesn't work out, keep going. If he flat out told me to leave him alone, I would, but until then, I would keep trying. All you can do is try, Santana."

She lay back beside Blaine, sighing.

"I'll deny this if it's ever repeated, but I the opposite of hate you, Anderson."

Blaine chuckled. "I love you, too, Santana."

"Should I be worried?"

Both Kurt and Santana looked up at the sound of Kurt's voice. He was standing in the door way, smiling, arms folded across his chest.

"You're home," Blaine said, pushing himself into a seated position.

"It would appear so," Kurt said. He sat down on the end of the bed. "So, how long has this torrid love affair been going on?"

"Since September," Santana told him. "Why do you think Blainers asked me to move in? We're obviously horribly in love. Even if he is short."

"Size isn't everything, Santana," Blaine said, elbowing her.

"Luckily," Kurt teased.

Blaine gave him a gentle kick. "I didn't hear you complaining in the kitchen yesterday."

Santana sat up and made a gagging sound. "Can we not talk about what you guys did where we eat? I had nightmares."

"You told her?" Kurt asked Blaine.

"By mistake."

"Anyways," Santana said, "you both need to get out of here. There's way too much gay in this room and that's coming from me. I have a phone call to make."

Blaine grinned. "You're going to call h—"

"Yes," she said. "If you guys leave before I chicken out."

Blaine jumped to his feet and grabbed Kurt's hand and started to pull him towards the door. "Come on," Blaine said, tugging gently on his arm.

"Okay, okay," Kurt said and allowed Blaine to pull him outside.

"Good luck!" Blaine called, then shut the door behind them. He turned and looked at Kurt, who was smiling at him. "What?"

Kurt pulled him closer to him. "I heard what you said," he told Blaine. "To Santana, I mean."

"That was all hypothetical."

"Well," Kurt said, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's neck, "thank you for hypothetically not giving up on me and hypothetically refusing to let me go and hypothetically loving me."

Blaine slid his arms around Kurt's slender waist. "Oh, none of that is hypothetical. That's all real."

"You make me happy, you know."

"I'm glad," Blaine said, beaming. "You make me happy, too. Even when you're planning on doing crazy things with the guy who has been crowned 'most likely to be a dangerous serial killer'."

Kurt frowned. "I'm actually going over there later."

Blaine groaned.

"Come on," Kurt said. "Let me cheer you up." He leaned in and pressed his hot lips to Blaine's neck. "I've been thinking about you all day. Been hard for you all day. Couldn't stop thinking about how you looked in the kitchen yesterday, all hot and naked and begging for me to—"

Blaine swallowed hard. "You're trying to distract me."

"Is it working?" Kurt breathed, the tip of his tongue sliding over his pulse. He slid his knee between Blaine's legs.

Blaine only exhaled shakily.

"Gorgeous," Kurt said quietly, kissing Blaine's neck slowly. "Come on," he said again, pulling back a bit. He took Blaine's hand and gave him a slow smile. "Let me take care of you, babe."

Blaine couldn't say no and frankly, he really didn't want to say no.

He followed him to the bedroom and they shut the door behind them.

Kurt broke their kiss and dropped his head into Blaine's neck and whimpered as he came. Blaine whispered over and over that he loved him, as he continued to thrust slowly in and out of him and it was only when his whispers became more frantic, that Kurt knew he was about to come. Blaine came then, his mouth open wide, a strangled shout rupturing from his throat and when he was done, he slowed his thrusts, until he had stopped moving completely. Kurt kissed him for a little while longer, then lay back, panting under him. Blaine rolled onto his back next to Kurt.

"Can't you just stay?" Blaine asked, beside him.

Kurt looked at him and he did look tempting, lying there naked and basking in the afterglow. Kurt smiled.

"I'd love to," he admitted, "but I have to go."

Blaine sighed. "I can't even tempt you with my body?"

"Oh, you can tempt me," Kurt told him. "It's just that I know you're body will still be here when I get back."

Blaine chuckled weakly. He pushed himself up then and moved closer to Kurt. He flipped over onto his stomach and took Kurt's hand in his. "Promise me you'll call if anything seems off," he pleaded, honey coloured eyes wide and shining.

"I promise," Kurt told him. "Everything will be fine. You can call me every half hour if it'll make you feel better."

"It would," Blaine admitted. "How long do you plan on being there?"

Kurt shrugged. "A couple of hours," he surmised. "Please don't spend your time worrying. It's going to be okay. I can handle him and I will get in touch if I need to."

Blaine nodded. "I know," he said, pressing a single kiss to Kurt's hand. "I know that. I'm sorry, I know you're more than capable of handling this. I won't call you too many times, I swear. If you say it's fine, I'll believe you."

"And you'll try not to worry too much?"

"I'll try," Blaine apprised him.

Kurt grinned and bent forward and kissed Blaine on the mouth. "Love you," he whispered. "Gonna go shower, okay? You're welcome to join me, of course."

"Too tired," Blaine said, dropping down so that his face was buried in the covers.

Kurt laughed quietly and moved to stretch out next to him. He carded his fingers through the back of Blaine's hair and Blaine looked up at him.

"Come on," Kurt said. "Just a shower. I promise."

"Fine," Blaine said, sighing quietly. "But if I fall asleep you can't just leave me there to drown."

"As if I would," Kurt said, kissing Blaine's shoulder. He climbed to his feet, grabbed Blaine's hand and pulled him up. "You're filthy."

"You don't think I look good covered in your co—"

"Come on, Anderson."

Kurt stood outside Colton's apartment block and took a deep breath, before walking inside. The elevator looked about a hundred years old, so he took the stairs, thanking a God that he didn't even believe in that Colton's apartment was only one floor up. He got to the top of the stairs and took out his phone and sent a quick text to Blaine, letting him know he had arrived. He knew Blaine would worry, regardless of how many times he had told him not to. Kurt supposed it was to be expected. Colton was sort of odd and he had been awful to Blaine, but Kurt was willing to give him another chance. Everyone deserved that.

Kurt walked down the plain hall and stopped at the last door on the right. He sighed and knocked and within seconds, the door opened and Colton stood there smiling.

"Hey," Kurt said, carefully.

"Right on time," Colton told him, grinning. "Come right in."

Kurt stepped through the door and looked around. The room was boring. The entire apartment was boring. The walls were a plain white and the floors were an insipid wood and the furniture was bland and horribly uncoordinated. Kurt tried not to look to appalled.

"Do you want coffee?"

Kurt turned around at the sound of Colton's voice. "Um, yeah, sure. That'd be great. Thanks."

Colton gestured to the couch and didn't budge until Kurt had sat down. He went to the small kitchen then. Kurt pulled out his phone again and sent another text to Blaine.

To: Blaine.
I'm in. I fear you were right, this is rather unsettling. His decor is TRAGIC.

"Who you texting?"

Kurt looked up at Colton, who was watching him while he waited for the kettle to boil.

"Uh, Blaine," Kurt told him, slipping his phone into his pocket. "Just letting him know I found it okay."

Colton nodded, looking unconvinced. He turned away and began rummaging in the cupboards.

"So, um, did you have a paper you wanted to work on?" Kurt asked, noticing that there weren't any books around.

"Yeah," Colton said. "I'll show you in a little while."

"Okay.." Kurt said, sceptically. "Do you maybe want to show me the assignment and I can think about it?"

"It's in my room," Colton said and Kurt was adamant that he was not going in there. "I'll get it in a while."

"Sure," Kurt said. He paused. He found it difficult to hold a conversation with Colton. "So, um, you live alone?"

"I have a room mate," Colton informed him. "But he made himself scarce."

"Oh," Kurt uttered. "He didn't have to do that."

"He didn't mind," Colton said, opening the refrigerator. "He makes me stay out when he's got his girlfriends over. It's my turn to kick him out."

Kurt didn't say anything, but he couldn't help noticing the fact that Colton had likened this visit to that of his room mate's girlfriends' visits. He stayed silent, because he didn't want to cause any drama over something that he might have picked up wrong. He sat back and looked around, grimacing at the fact that the small rug under his feet was covered in stains. Kurt didn't want to know what they were.

He jumped a little when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He laughed quietly to himself. He was being irrationally nervous. He took out the phone and checked the text.

From: Blaine.
You can never trust a guy with bad decor. He gives the entire gay population a bad name. Everything going okay?

He replied with:

Maybe I can help him see the light. Everything's fine. About to start the tutoring. Talk to you in a little while. Love you.

Kurt put his phone away, just as Colton reached the couch. He placed the coffee down in front of Kurt on the table and sat down. He held a glass of milk. Kurt looked down at his feet. They were quiet for a little while, then Kurt cleared his throat.

"So, um, did you want to get started?" he asked, looking at Colton, who was sipping his milk.

"Sure," Colton said. He leaned forward and placed his now empty glass down on the table. "I'll go get my things."

Kurt nodded and watched as Colton stood up and walked across the apartment to one of the open doors. He disappeared inside and Kurt waited. A few minutes later, Colton came out and Kurt just stared.

Colton had changed his clothing. He was no longer in his sweatpants and fleeced sweaters, but it really wasn't much of an improvement. He wore a sky, blue turtle neck sweater, with long sleeves and a high, thick neck. His pants only came to his knees and they were black, red and white plaid and on his feet were a pair of thick, brown loafers that should have been branded a federal offense. He wasn't wearing any socks. Kurt could only sit there with his mouth open.

"You..ah..changed," Kurt found himself saying.

Colton grinned. "Oh, yeah," he said. "I was getting warm."

"You're wearing a turtle neck," Kurt pointed out.

"Yeah, I don't really own any shirts, just sweaters and stuff," he said, with a chuckle. "Did you want to get started?"

"Um," Kurt said, looking away, quickly. "Sure. Yes. Let's, um, start."

"So, you should be fine with that," Kurt told Colton, who was sitting a little bit too close for comfort. Kurt inched back a little and waited for Colton to get the hint and move away, but he didn't.

"Thanks," Colton said, smiling. "So, do you want another coffee?"

"Um, no, thanks," Kurt said. "I should really head home. I told Blaine and Santana I'd only be a couple of hours and we went a little overtime," he said, looking at his watch.

"Wait!"

Kurt looked at Colton expectantly.

"Can we talk for a minute? I just wanted to..to apologise. Again. And stuff."

Kurt sat back, slowly. "And stuff?" he asked.

Colton nodded. "I was wrong about—about Blaine. I know he loves you, bec-because who w-wouldn't love you?" Colton laughed nervously.

Kurt just shuffled uncomfortably. "Look, I—"

"You said you'd help me, if I needed it," Colton said, blushing.

Kurt sat up straight. "If you need it, yeah," he said. "Is something wrong?"

"How would I go about i-impressing a guy?"

"Oh," Kurt said. "Well, I'm not the best person to ask about, um, that. There's only ever really been Blaine. I mean, there was one guy before that, but I never considered that to be anything..really. I don't have a lot of experience, so I'm really not the right person to give you advice about, uh, that."

Kurt thought about telling him he should dress better, but he didn't want to be rude.

"Actually, I think you're the perfect person to ask," Colton told him, raising his dark eyes to meet Kurt's bright ones.

"Um," Kurt said, "I just.. Colton, I don't think—"

"What was it about Blaine?"

"Huh?"

"What was it about him that made you look?"

"Oh," Kurt said, thinking back to the first time he had really noticed Blaine. He didn't count their first encounter with the slushie, since he could barely see at that point. He remembered thinking about Blaine after that first day. He'd thought he was incredibly good looking, but he was sort of an asshole. After their first meeting in the library, he'd seen something in him, something that just didn't seem to add up with everything he was assumed to be.

"I guess it was just one of those things," Kurt said, shrugging. "I mean, he's obviously attractive and that was part of it, but I felt there was something about him. I don't even know how to explain it. He just seemed...different. I mean, he was a jock, but he was...different, I guess. I just fell in love with him. I just think it kind of..happened. Over time. He acts like he's tough sometimes, but he's actually really adorable and cute. I guess that was it. He surprised me. I wasn't expecting him to be the way he was and I just..fell for him."

Colton simply nodded.

"Is there someone you like, Colton?" Kurt asked.

Colton smiled and actually maintained eye contact.

"I think you know," he told Kurt and that's when it happened.

Colton came closer, still smiling and before Kurt could open his mouth to protest, Colton was on top of him, pressing his lips down on Kurt's. Kurt was stunned and froze for a second or two, then he was pushing Colton off of him. Colton pushed him right back down and did it again. His hands were clutching Kurt's shirt, fingers sliding against his bare skin, where it had slid up. Kurt panicked a little, feeling that same sickly feeling in his stomach he had felt the last time a kiss had been forced on him. He pushed Colton off again and jumped to his feet and breathed hard.

"Okay, wow, no," Kurt said, frantically. "Oh my God. What just—Oh, God. I just.." Kurt trailed off, shaking his head. "Um, I—Colton. No, it's not—"

"I know you want me, too," Colton said. "I know it. I know you're just feeling bad because of Blaine, but—"

"Oh my God, Blaine!" Kurt said. Blaine would most likely want to punch Colton, or something equally violent. "Look, I don't know if I've given you the wrong idea or-or if it's just.. God, I don't even know, right now."

"You're speechless!" Colton said, smiling. "That's okay! That's good!"

"No. No, Colton, it's not good. I just.. It's not.. You and I will never.. I'm not into you. Like that. Like anything. I was here purely as your tutor. I don't—I.. Did I make you think I liked you? Shit."

Colton shrugged. "I know you do," he said. "I saw how you looked at me, when I came out in my new outfit."

Kurt's eyes went wider. "Oh, God," he said, again. "No, I wasn't.. Colton, you have to know that this outfit is..is..awful. I'm sorry, but it just...is. I don't even know where you would buy shoes like that—"

"Isn't this what you like?" Colton asked, gesturing to himself. "The short pants and the loafers and the no socks? Like Blaine?"

Kurt sucked in a breath, then coughed a little. "Um," he started, "Blaine doesn't really dress like.. Not like that. He.. I'm not a huge fan of Blaine's outfit choices. I mean, he pulls off some cute looks, but I wouldn't.. Colton, Blaine would never wear..that. I wouldn't allow him to wear anything like.. Um." He paused. "I just.. Can I use your bathroom? Really quickly?"

Colton blushed. "It's through my bedroom."

"Oh," Kurt said. "You, um, don't have another—"

"My flat mate has but he locks his door."

"Uh, okay. Just..through here?" Kurt asked, gesturing towards the room Colton had come from earlier.

"Yeah, go ahead."

Kurt walked quickly through Colton's tidy room and into the small bathroom. He sat down on the edge of the bath and just breathed for a while. He didn't know if he'd been to blame for Colton kissing him. Maybe he had made him think he liked him. He wasn't sure if it was just Colton being Colton, or something he had done.

He wondered what would have happened if he hadn't gotten the strength to push Colton off, if his surprise had kept him stuck to the spot for much longer. He wondered if Colton would have taken things further, despite his protests..

Kurt sat there thinking about it for a few minutes and then his phone buzzed and he jumped a bit. He took it from his pocket.

From: Blaine.
Hi, it's been a while since I heard from you and I know I said I wouldn't check on you too often, but I can't help but worry. Ease my mind?

Kurt let out a shaky breath and hit the call button, then pressed the phone to his ear. Blaine picked up almost instantly.

"Hey, baby," he said, happily. "Everything okay?"

"Um, I guess," Kurt said, quietly.

"You guess?" Blaine's tone had changed. "Why are you whispering?"

"I'm in his bathroom," Kurt said. "I don't want him to hear me. It's just.. This is.."

"What's wrong?"

"Blaine, I'm going to call you back. I just need to call Rachel, okay? One second."

"Kurt, don't han—"

Kurt ended the call and called Rachel. She picked up after the third ring.

"Kurt?"

"Rachel," he said. "Quick question. When Colton's around..do I do things that might make him..get the wrong idea? Like..things that might make him think I..like him...in romantic, um, ways?"

Rachel shouted at Finn to keep it down, then said, "Uh, no? What's going on? Is there—"

"Are you sure?" Kurt asked.

"Kurt—"

"Rachel."

"No, you're very cool with him," she informed him. "I can almost feel the ice. He has to know you don't like him very much. Is there something wrong, Kurt?"

"Um, no," he said. "It's fine. Everything is, ah, fine. I gotta go. I told Blaine I'd call him back. I'll..I'll talk to you later, Rachel. Bye."

He called Blaine back immediately.

"Kurt, thank God," Blaine said. "What's going on? Talk to me."

Kurt took a deep breath. "He's going to get suspicious if I stay here for too long."

"Kurt—"

"So we finished the tutoring thing and we were just talking and he started asking me stuff and then he was kissing me. Blaine, I don't even know what—"

"Okay, okay," Blaine said. "Back up. He kissed you?"

"Yes," Kurt said. "It was only for a few seconds. I was shocked. I didn't know what was happening. I pushed him off, but he didn't stop and.. This is a mess. Blaine, is this cheating? I—"

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked. "Kurt. Calm down. I get it. I'm not mad. It's not your fault. Listen to me. Are you okay?"

Kurt took a few deep breaths. "I'm fine," he said. "It's just.. I thought he.. God."

"Okay," Blaine said, calmly. "Look, I'll come get you, okay? You need to give me the addre—"

"I have to go," Kurt told him. "I've been in here for too long. I'll, um.. I love you. I'll be home soon. I... Yeah."

"Kurt, don't—"

Kurt hung up and slid his phone back in his pocket. He stood up and looked in the mirror. He was flushed and his eyes were wide and he looked like he'd seen a ghost. It was probably stupid getting worked up over something like this, but his heart was still hammering in his chest and he was shaking slightly. He felt flustered and confused and dizzy. He threw some water up on his face and went back outside.

Colton was sitting on the edge of his bed, his legs crossed. He smiled when Kurt came out.

"You could stay," Colton told him. "Tonight, I mean. You don't need to worry about cheating on Blaine. It's okay." Colton stood up and came to stand in front of Kurt. He took his hand. "I think you and I are soul mates, Kurt. I saw you on my first day and I knew you were the one and when you looked at me the first time we talked, I knew you felt it, too. I know you're trying not to feel these things, because you feel like you're betraying Blaine, but we can't let this slip away. We're meant to be together. I know it. I know you thought you loved him and that you would always be with him and that this—what you feel for me—scares you. But if we're meant to be, who are we to go against fate?"

"Colton, we're not," Kurt said, pulling his hand back. "I.. You're just not my type."

"And that scares you," Colton said. "I understand. I'm not the type of guy you usually go for, but forget about that and concentrate on how you feel. I can make you happy."

Kurt shook his head. "You've got this all wrong!" he exploded. "I'm not into you! I don't like your—your bowl cut hair, or-or your sweaters, or your Crocs, or.. Colton, you're the exact opposite of my ideal partner! Look at me! I live for fashion! You're just.. I mean, that's okay if.. God. Colton, I don't think love is based on fashion, or-or looks, or anything, but I couldn't.. I just don't feel anything. For you. I thought you could use some help at first and I gave you a second chance, because that's who I am, but this is.. Not like that. I don't want..that. And when you kissed me and I pushed you off, you didn't—you kissed me again. Colton, I can't—I've had that done to me before and I can't.. I need to leave, okay? I just.. I need to go."

"No," Colton said, smiling slowly. "Stay."

"Santana!" Blaine said, thumping on her door. "Santana, open the door!"

"I'm busy!"

"Santana, please. I need you."

Santana groaned and opened the door.

"What?"

"I need to get to Colton's," he told her. "I have no idea where he is and Kurt's not picking up and he called me and he was upset, because Colton kissed him and I don't know much more, but I think he's in trouble, Santana. Colton is nuts and I don't know what he's capable of and I don't know what to do and—"

Santana took him by the shoulders and shook him hard.

"Shut. Up." Blaine did. "Let's get in the car and you can tell me on the way."

"I don't know where he lives—"

"Christ," Santana said, rolling her eyes. "Uh, keep calling Hummel. Just stop babbling and let me think, okay?"

"Okay," Blaine said, breathing in and out slowly.

He wasn't sure what had happened, he just had a bad feeling about it and he needed to see Kurt and make sure everything was okay. He just had no idea how he was going to do that.

"I've got it," Santana said, suddenly. She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the front door. "I know who can help us, but you've got to stay calm and let me handle this."