Oct. 1, 2012, 3:50 a.m.
Never Let Me Go: Chapter 9
M - Words: 3,089 - Last Updated: Oct 01, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 10/? - Created: Jan 27, 2012 - Updated: Oct 01, 2012 193 0 0 0 0
A sharp pain in his back shakes him awake. He shifts suddenly, hoping to stop the pain. The movement stirs the heavy, curly haired weight on his chest. A small smile graces his lips, his heart swells as the weight snuggles into his chest. He gently strokes the back of his head, him snuggling deeper.
"You're so cute," he breathes, his hand moving down to Blaine's lower back.
"So are you. But more so when you're not waking me." Blaine mutters.
"Then go back to sleep." He replies, wriggling out from under him, grabbing the mobile that woke him.
Blaine moans and tightens his grip on Kurt's shirt. Kurt chuckles, lightly kissing his forehead before tentatively loosening Blaine's grip on him, and standing up. Blaine murmurs and fidgets, his hands searching for Kurt. Kurt gently moves his pillow toward Blaine, his hands instantly grabbing the pillow, his entire body shifting closer to it. A small smile graces Kurt's mouth, it disappearing in seconds as guilt and regret fills his heart. How could he let Blaine be alone for so long? How could he leave him for so long that when he finally got Kurt back, he was scared to let go? How could he leave the man he loves feeling unwanted and unloved? How could he?! He has to make it up to him, he has to mend what he's broken.
He sighs heavily before turning around and preparing to somehow make a satisfying breakfast. He begins rummaging through the plastic bags by the mounds of Blaine's clothes, finding a loaf of bread, some instant coffee, tea bags, and cereal. He hums in thought, his eyes falling onto the small set of draws by the door. He pulls the draws open as gently as he can, making sure he doesn't make any sound to disturb Blaine. He finds a two slice toaster and an electric kettle, any ideas of a 'gourmet' breakfast going out the window.
He sighs lightly, already pulling his sleeves up, setting to work. He scours through the bags again, finding marmalade and butter. Chucking two pieces of toast into the toaster, he turns to the kettle, biting his lip in thought.
"Mhmmm" he hums. A mumble comes from the mounds of blankets and pillows.
Kurt turns, his eyes narrowing in confusion.
"What was that, honey?" Kurt asks sweetly, standing up and walking over to the bed.
"Don't bother with breakfast…You don't need to.." Blaine says, his voice muffled by the pillows.
"I do need to worry, because I broke your heart and acted like a complete ass." Kurt replies, his heart sinking with guilt.
Blaine grumbles in response, too scared of agreeing, fearful it might send Kurt packing. He buries his head under the covers, Kurt rushing around the room, still doing his best to make some kind of breakfast. He walks over to Blaine's side of the bed, tilting his head and narrowing his gaze as he thinks of what to do with the kettle in his grasp. Blaine sighs, giving in to Kurt's 'mission' of making breakfast.
"There's…..a tap in the bathroom. Coffee, two sugars, white…Please." Blaine grumbles, a pout settling on his face, causing Kurt to smile. He always looks so adorable when he pouts unknowingly.
Kurt walks over to the dirty desk top for a door, in which Blaine's hand is pointing to. He opens it as quietly as possible, still trying not to disturb Blaine anymore than he already has. The room is small, the toilet almost touching the bath/shower, the sink is tiny with a medicine cabinet fixed above it. He turns the tap on, the water taking sometime to appear, filling the kettle, he checks his hair in the small mirror. Striding back into the bedroom, he places the kettle back onto the cradle, Blaine fidgeting and murmuring behind him. His eyes tightly shut and his face now seeming tense as if he's in pain. Kurt's brow furrows in confusion, gently walking over to the bed. He sits on the side of the bed, his hand tentatively coming to fall onto Blaine's bare back, a layer of sweat having formed all over his body.
"Blaine…" Kurt murmurs, his hand moving up to his neck, gently rubbing his thumb over Blaine's hairline.
Blaine mumbles, his hand tightly grasping his pillow as his face constricts.
"Honey?" Kurt asks, gently shaking Blaine's shoulder, which only causes him to tense even more.
His murmuring increases, him no longer slurring his words, his voice clear enough for Kurt to make out whatever it is he's saying.
"Mhm…..no…please…don't…Kurt…please….don't leave me…not again.." Blaine begs, his hand fumbling over the bed, trying to grab hold of something that isn't there.
"Blaine!" Kurt says loudly, shaking his shoulders more forcefully. Instead of waking, Blaine groans, his breath and fidgeting becoming more rapid.
"Don't go! He'll…. he'll hurt you….please! No, don't! Don't hurt him, Dad! No…" Blaine trembles, gripping his sheets tightly.
"Blaine!" Kurt, basically, shouts.
"No!" Blaine screams, sitting bolt up right the moment he wakes. His eyes are wide and full of panic, darting all around the room.
Both boys' hearts are racing both shocked and terrified of what they'd experienced. Kurt tentatively slides his hand over Blaine's, both of them planted firmly on the bed, supporting him. Blaine's eyes immediately move at the contact, his deep brown irises settling on their hands. His breathing slows, his face relaxes as he turns his hand to clasp Kurt's, both of them involuntarily sighing with relief.
"Do…do you…get those often?" Kurt stutters, still cautiously rubbing his thumb over Blaine's palm. "Do you wake up like that a lot?"
Blaine bites his lip, unable to even look Kurt in the eye.
"I…I…It's not every-" The look Kurt gives him silences him.
"Almost…I…I…every night, I usually wake up screaming or terrified. Every night, or so." He says, choking on almost every word.
Kurt slowly breathes out, trying to keep his heart steady. He curls his fingers around Blaine's hand firmly, looking straight into his eyes.
"It's going to be okay from now on, I'll do everything I can to make sure you don't have to wake up like that. I….I have no idea what I'm doing or saying!" He murmurs, his eyes falling from Blaine's, head bowing down.
Rough fingertips catch his chin, stopping him from dropping his head. They gently tilt his head up, making him look at Blaine, who has a warm smile directed at him.
"It's fine. You're doing amazingly well considering everything that's happened in the past 24 hours. Just you being here is enough, let alone you sleeping with me, talking to me, and attempting to make breakfast." His smile grows with every word, it becoming so infectious, it causes Kurt's mouth to slowly pull at the corners.
"That reminds me, I should be making your breakfast." Kurt says, standing with a quick squeeze of Blaine's hand.
He switches the kettle on and rushes back over to the toaster, not noticing Blaine's smile suddenly falling.
"But with that, there are some things I'm a little disappointed with.." Blaine states, his voice steady, the tone seeming harsh.
Kurt turns to face him, confusion clouding his features.
"I understand that all of this is and was very difficult for you, but that's no excuse." Blaine's eyes begin to darken, Kurt instantly becoming more worried.
"I came to you and told you everything, and what did you do? You were disgusted with me, believed I lied to you-"
"You had broken up with me." Kurt states, interjecting, which only causes Blaine's features to darken even more.
"You were supposed to give me the benefit of the doubt!" He yells, his eyes blazing.
"I would have if the situation was reversed, so why didn't you?! You didn't even fight for us! I broke up with you and you just ran! Didn't try to reason with me or talk to me!"
"You called me a 'fag'! You were being unreasonable-"
"Then you find me after or later and talk with me then! Even if I don't listen! You didn't fight for me! But the worst thing was you didn't even give me a second chance! You didn't listen to me, you didn't listen to Santana, you gave up on me! On us!" His breathing is rapid, his eyes swimming with tears.
"I….It was…I tried-"
"No! That's the point, you didn't try!"
His tears are now falling hard and fast, Kurt too stunned to stop his own tears.
"I'll make it up to you! I'll tell everybody what happened, and they'll all help you, help us, they'll stop being so horrible-" Kurt says desperately.
"No! Don't! I don't want anyone to know, okay?" Blaine interjects, his voice becoming softer.
"I just…I'll do anything and everything, okay? You just say the word, okay?" Kurt begs.
"I…can I think for a bit?" Blaine asks, his voice finally at it's usual volume.
Kurt nods vigorously, a quick smile sweeping over his face. He turns back around, going back to preparing breakfast.
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Brushing crumbs off of his sheets, he looks to Kurt, his eyes focused on his own breakfast, to scared to speak or move in case he upsets Blaine. Blaine runs his tongue over his dry lips, his eyes slightly narrowed in thought.
"Do you remember a couple of weeks after our first time? We were dancing, or singing, 'I'll Cover You' from 'Rent'." Blaine asks, breaking the silence.
Kurt stops eating to look to him, his eyes looking to Blaine in anticipation, silently urging him to continue.
"We ended up laying side by side on my bed, absolutely exhausted, convinced that we had completely ruined our voices with our singing. I snuggled up to you, you had your arms around my neck and our noses were pressed right together." Blaine laughs a little at the memory. Kurt a little amazed at how well he remembers the moment.
"I said to you, I would be there whenever you needed me, when you're cold and you're lonely." He states, his voice beginning to become harsh once again.
"And you promised the exact same thing, 'when you're cold and you're lonely!" His bitter tone sends shivers down Kurt's spine, too scared to speak.
"Do you know how many times in the past 4 weeks, I've been cold and lonely? How many times I wished- no, begged for you to be there?!" He's yelling again, Kurt's heart pounding faster.
"Can you understand how hard it is to forgive you? I was cold and lonely, and you weren't there!" His voice has fallen to barely a whisper now, tears silently falling from his eyes.
"You broke your promise! And yes, so did I. I broke up with you, but I've already been punished, I've suffered for my mistake. And it's not that I want you to 'pay' for it, I just…it's hard to forgive you. Or be with you without feeling betrayed."
They both fall into silence once again, there cheeks becoming stained with tears.
"It's going to take time. I need time to forgive you. So, in the mean time…. I might…be a little snappy."
Kurt instantly looks to him, his eyes widening.
"You won't….we can be together?" He asks, eyes searching Blaine's for the answer.
"I spent a whole month being apart from you, there's no way I'm doing it again." Blaine states, gently taking Kurt's hand.
A smile pulls at the corners of Kurt's mouth, it breaking over his face before he, basically, launches himself into Blaine's arms, kissing him deeply. Blaine kisses him back with equal enthusiasm, smiling into the kiss. They break apart, making sure they keep there noses touching, neither wanting to pull away. Staying close, Kurt places both his plate and Blaine's onto the bedside table. He snuggles closer, laying his head on Blaine's shoulder, a strong arm wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer, a light kiss grazing his forehead.
"No matter what happens or what you do, I'll still love you. I'll always love you, okay?" Blaine whispers.
Kurt slowly nods, tilting his head up to kiss Blaine.
"I'll always love you too." He breathes against Blaine's lips, kissing him once more before settling his head in the crook of Blaine's neck, his hand right over his heart.
It's not long before they both fall asleep, safe and warm in each other's arms.
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A gentle kiss to the side of his jaw stirs him from sleep. His eyes slowly open to find Kurt's staring back at him. A full-hearted smile breaks onto Blaine's face, Kurt's heart swelling at the sight.
"How long have we been asleep?" Blaine mumbles, tenderly running his hand over Kurt's shoulder.
"A while. I think we've slept all morning-oh crap!" Kurt's eyes widen as he sits up and scrambles to grab his phone from the bedside table.
"What's wrong?" Blaine asks groggily.
"My dad, I didn't tell him I wasn't coming home, he's going to kill me." Kurt mutters, speed dialling Burt.
"I'll just tell him I've been here all night, he'll understand once I explain everything." Blaine's eyes widen, and he snatches the phone from Kurt, ending the call.
"What was that for?" Kurt asks accusingly.
"You're not telling him, you're not telling anyone, okay? Promise me!" Blaine says sternly, his voice raised.
"I promise," Kurt breathes, still uncomfortable with the volume of Blaine's voice.
"Thank you," Blaine sighs, "sorry for yelling, I just… I don't want anyone to know, okay?"
"It's okay," Kurt says, trying to keep his heart steady. "Can I have my phone back? He's going to worry if I don't call him about last night, let alone about not coming home 'till 7 tonight."
Blaine's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, a small smile breaking across his lips.
"7 tonight? Isn't that a little late?" Blaine asks, trying to sound playful rather than skeptical.
"Or earlier, whenever you get sick of me." Kurt replies, disappointment seeping through his words.
"Umm…yeah. Sounds good." Blaine mumbles, unconvincingly. He meant to say something that would convince Kurt that he would never get sick of him, but he clearly failed at that.
Kurt smiles sheepishly to Blaine, before pointing to his phone and scurrying into the bathroom. He breathes out slowly, his reflection truly showing the affects of his worry and guilt.
Why the hell would he want to spend the day with you?! You broke his heart!
His ever suportful thoughts making him groan in frustration. He drops himself onto the top of the toilet seat, and drops his head into his hands.
"It's going to take a while for him to forgive me.." He mumbles, already dialling his father.
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Blaine had been quiet all day, nodding instead of actually talking, most of his answers to any of Kurt's questions being short and simple. He barely even made eye contact with Kurt, he was tense whenever Kurt touched him, the only time he relaxed was while Kurt was cuddling with him, in which Blaine had fallen asleep. Now Kurt's stuck in a cold hotel room, watching some boring soap opera, with a bruised curly haired boy snuggling into his chest. In any other situation, Kurt would be over the moon, his heart would be pounding, and he'd have the biggest smile on his face, but right now, the last thing he needs is a boy, who, if he was conscious, would be sitting bolt up right, and be as stiff as a board with tension. None the less he's still gently running his fingers through Blaine's thick mop of hair.
"What am I going to do with you?" Kurt breathes, tracing circles along the base of Blaine's neck.
He moans and snuggles deeper into Kurt's shirt, making Kurt's heart swell, and a smile pull at his lips. A buzzing noise pulls Kurt from his thoughts, and stirs Blaine from his sleep.
"What the hell is that?" Blaine grumbles groggily.
"My phone. Hold on." Kurt says, reaching behind Blaine for his phone.
He quickly answers it, his father's voice greeting his ears.
"Hey. It's getting late. Are you coming home tonight? Or is this going to be your third night in a row of staying away from family dinners?" Burt asks, slight annoyance lacing his words.
"No. I'm going to come home soon. I've just got some…stuff I need to handle, but I'll be home soon." Kurt says, his eyes still trained on Blaine as he begins to wake up.
"Promise?" Burt says, his tone slightly skeptical.
"I promise!" Kurt replies, a small smile pulling at his lips as Blaine sleepily rubs his eyes.
"Okay. See you later." Kurt doesn't even reply, only hangs the phone up, and goes back to running his fingers through Blaine's hair.
"Hey," Blaine croaks, his eyes fully opening to look at Kurt properly.
"Hi." Kurt says sweetly, a full smile gracing his face.
Blaine chuckles lightly before beginning to tense up again under Kurt's touch, Kurt's smile faltering.
"I guess I should get going…" Kurt mumbles, untangling his fingers from Blaine's curls.
"Uh…yeah. You're Dad will be worried.." Blaine says sheepishly, wrapping his arms around himself.
Kurt sighs lightly, shuffling off the bed, and grabbing his disregarded shoes. He stands, and pulls his jacket on, an awkward silence filling the room. Kurt's eyes focus on Blaine, his legs now pulled tightly to his chest, and his gaze on his feet, scared to look to Kurt's eyes.
"Well…I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school!" Kurt says cheerfully, doing his best to lighten the mood. He receives no response, not even a gaze to acknowledge his presence.
He makes his way over to the bed, Blaine's eyes still staring at his feet. Kurt gently pushes some of Blaine's curls from out of his eyes, softly kissing his forehead, before whispering a quick "bye". He silently walks to the door, one last quick glance of Blaine before he heads out into the cool evening air, the door quietly closing behind him, no sweet goodbye following it.
Oh, Blaine. What am I going to do with you?
Alright! I hope you enjoyed the chap, thank you all so much for reading, favouring, alerting, reviewing, everything! It really means so much to me.
I've got a couple of other fic ideas I'm working on, the main one being a Klaine fic with chapters based on Snow Patrol songs, it's going to be set after the ::::::SPOILERS::::: supposed break up of Klaine.
I hope to update this fix soon, but I can't promise anything, except that I WILL NOT ABANDON THIS FIC!!!!
THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN!!
:D