Everyday, every morning, she either comes by his hotel room, or in the locker room as he showers, everyday the same thing, 'tell Kurt!' Luckily she has to shut up whenever there in glee club, giving him at least some peace and quiet for a small amount of time. And even now as she strides over, a smug grin on her face, he simply turns and heads for the choir room, which receives a quick smack of his head as they walk through the door way. Everyone's in their usual seat, Puck complaining once again about glee club taking up his "chick scoring" time, aka, lunch. Most of the group just rolls their eyes, except Kurt. His eyes are undeniably red. Blaine can tell he's been crying, and it breaks his heart. He hates to think that he's crying because of him, and hates knowing that there is nothing he can do about it. Santana guides Blaine over to his seat, his eyes still firmly focused on Kurt.

"Okay guys. I've got a new assignment for you. And I know it's a little late, what with it being Wednesday, but still, I think you guys need to be more open with each other, closer." Mr. Schue says walking in.
"Mr. Schue, I think we're all open and close, why would we need to work on it?" Tina asks, the rest of the club nodding.

"Well it seems not all of you are considerate of each other." Mr Schue says, purposely looking to Blaine. "So I thought if you all expressed the worst or most heartbreaking thing that's happened or is happening to you, we can show you that we're all here for you. Now partner up, or group up or sing solo, but everyone must sing, and everyone needs a valid reason as to why their song relates to them!" He turns back to the piano, shuffling sheet music.

"Do we really need a whole meeting about all this? Can't we just do it in our own time, 'cause I've got some stuff I need to do." Puck mutters, hoping to enjoy the rest of his lunch. Mr. Schue sighs, waving everyone out as a sign of dismissal. Everyone scurries off toward the doors, Santana following Blaine closely, who's eyes are on the floor now, his head bristling with worries about the assignment.

"So, any ideas about what you might sing?" Santana asks, pulling Blaine out of his thoughts.
"Does it matter? I think I've got bigger problems than that." He mutters, heading over to his locker.
"Yeah? 'Cause to be honest, when Mr. Schue announced it you looked like it was the worst thing in the world to happen." She says smugly, leaning against the lockers beside his.
"Like I said, it doesn't matter! I've got bigger problems."
"Like, telling Kurt what happened?"

He sighs, his features hardening. He's sick of her constantly telling him to talk to Kurt. He'd tell him, he really would. The only problem is, he's already done that, and look how that turned out. Kurt barely looks at him and when he does it's with disgust or anger. It's too late, he's ruined everything, he's made his bed, now he must lie in it. Yet still here he is, standing at his locker, trying to find his history textbook, with Santana once again nagging him about it all, repeating her daily, more like hourly, mantra.

"Blaine, just try again its not hard!"
"Did Mr. Schue say anything about me screaming in glee club last week?" He doesn't really care, he's just hoping Santana might drop the subject.
"I told him that you've been having a hard time is all, he didn't really believe me, but he hasn't said anything, so…" She shrugs looking to the floor in thought. "Hey! No distracting from the fact that you need to tell Kurt everything!"

"Santana, I can't. It's too late, and the sooner I fully accept that, the better. Just forget it, it's over between us!" He grabs his textbook, slamming the locker shut as he begins to head for the bathroom, his painkiller long overdue considering he hasn't taken it in 3 days, even though it's supposed to be daily. Even that doesn't stop Santana, she follows him right into the bathroom, startling some students and sending them running out the door.

"What are you doing?" Blaine says, exasperated.
"You're not running away from this. That and I don't trust you with your painkillers." She says sternly.
"What do you think I'm going to do, overdose?" Her eyes widen at his words, completely missing the hint of sarcasm." For God's sake, I'm not going to." He turns grabbing his pills.
Taking two, he basically throws them down his throat, using his hand to cup a mouthful of water from the tap.

"There done, now I think you should leave," he starts to head for the door, but Santana's too quick, grabbing him, and pulling him in front of her.
"Please just try to talk to him again." Her eyes are still so caring as she says it. Blaine thinks for a moment, still scared of breaking if Kurt doesn't accept him. He sighs, looking to Santana.

"Fine! I'll talk to him," she hugs him tightly, whispering speedy 'thank you's'.
"But on one condition. I talk to him alone, in the….auditorium, no one else there, especially not you!" He instructs her, already terrified of the possible outcome of this. She nods, a beaming smile plastered on her face. "And, you have to ask him to meet me at the auditorium," she gives him a pitying look, "what? You too chicken?"

"Do you want me to talk to him or not?" She instantly begins apologising, saying she'll do all he's asked, as long as he goes through with it. She finally leaves the bathroom a beaming smile still on her face. Blaine looks to the mirror, the bathroom empty, his smile falls as the reality of his decision slowly dawns on him. What if Kurt rejects him again? What's he going to do? He can't take it. Not again. His breathing begins to become shallow and rapid, a panic attack beginning. He turns the faucet on, splashing the cold water on to his face, trying to stop his mind and heart from racing. He closes his eyes, covering his face with his damp hands, as his breathing gradually slows, the door to the restroom opening.

"Hey dude, you okay?" A voice says, steps toward Blaine resonating around the bathroom, the sudden interruption to the silence startling him. He looks to the voice, Puck, nodding and smiling awkwardly. Puck looks to him cautiously, clearly not accepting his response, but leaving it none the less.
"I've got a job for you. Guy named Phil. It's mainly carrying stock into the back, and off the loading trucks, but the pay's not bad. And he's willing to give you dinner on the weekend if you work Saturday and Sunday afternoon."

"What do you mean, 'he'll give me dinner'? He's not some male cougar or something?" Blaine's eyes begin to look terrified.
"No! Well he is, but the place is like a bar crossed with a cafe, crossed with a restaurant or some kind of diner. I dunno. Do you want the job?"

"Yeah. Ah…give me his number of something?" Blaine says eagerly.
"How 'bout I give it to Santana, or something?" Blaine instantly scowls and his face falls. "Well if you won't open up to me, man, you gotta open up to someone."
"But I don't want to…" He whines, "she's just so annoying…" Puck nods, agreeing completely.

"I don't really have a choice do I?" Puck shakes his head in response, Blaine sighing.
"Thanks anyway man, see you in maths." Puck nods, as Blaine heads for the door, going to his next class, while trying to keep his mind off all the possible outcomes of his talk with Kurt, majority ending in him crying. By the end of the lesson, he's terrified of seeing him.

What the hell am I supposed to say? Or should I sing? Or is that to cheesy? What the hell am I doing? He's gonna stomp all over me! No way in hell is he going to believe me! Crap!

The entire time he walks to Math, all these questions keep replaying in his mind. Even when he finally gets to class, he has no answers, plus more questions begin to brew in his head. The only one not fully related to Kurt being, what the hell is with all these bloody panic attacks! What am I some paranoid freak?! AHH!

"Dude, you ok?" Puck asks, nudging Blaine out of his thoughts.
"What the hell am I going to tell him?" Blaine mutters, looking straight ahead, his eyes wide.
"Tell who?" Puck waves his hand in front of Blaine's face.
"Kurt," he breathes, hardly blinking. "I'm going to tell him everything, but…what the hell am I going to say?!" He whispers frantically.
"Why don't you sing or something, you used to when you two were together."
"There aren't a lot of songs containing the lyrics, 'I'm sorry I left you, my dad was going to beat me if I didn't'!" He grinds out, the panic still clear in his features.
"Just sing some soppy song about how you're sorry and you miss him or whatever…"
"Yeah, 'cause that won't blow up in my face!" He knows Puck's right, but that doesn't stop him worrying.

************************************************************************His eyes are tired and sore, last night proving him to be at a new low. He'd found a photo of Blaine and him in the park, he'd ended up in a sobbing heap curled up with the photo smashed in it's frame. He didn't sleep all night, just thought of Blaine. And the last thing he wants is to talk to anyone, especially Santana. Who seems to have read his mind as she is striding over to him, a smile on her face.

"Hi," she says brightly, scarring him a little.
"What do you want?" His stern tone surprises him, let alone Santana.
"No need to get snarky. Look, I know you don't really believe Blaine, but please just hear him out one more time." He rolls his eyes, preparing to rant about how much Blaine's hurt him, but Santana's to quick.
"I know he hurt you. And I know you don't really trust me either, but honestly, do you really think I'd let him hurt you again? I might be a bitch, but I would never do something that horrible to you." Her eyes are pleading, wide with anticipation, waiting for his response.

Kurt contemplates what might happen if he agrees. He's terrified of Blaine just breaking his heart all over again, but he can't shake the feeling that Blaine's telling the truth. He hasn't been able to since he saw how crushed Blaine was at the coffee shop. He sighs, bringing his eyes up to Santana's.

"Fine," he grumbles, "I'll talk to him." She smiles brightly, hugging him quickly. He pushes her off, his eyes once again taking on a hard stare.
"Just where and when does he want me to meet him?"
Her smile falls, her own features resembling Kurt's.
"Auditorium, Friday afternoon, after glee club."
He nods, waving her off. She responds with an irritated look.
"I've gotta get to class! Don't worry, I'll be there." He mumbles, slamming his locker as he walks off.

His minds is racing with worry. He's still terrified of Blaine hurting him, or worse, that Blaine is telling the truth and he's only going to talk to him to tell him how much he hates him. Even if he doesn't hate him, he knows the guilt would destroy him.

************************************************************************
Throughout the lesson, Puck keeps knocking Blaine, mainly due to the fact he keeps mumbling to himself and staring dead ahead, frozen. The last bell of the day rings, and Puck basically drags Blaine out of his seat and into the hall.
"Dude! Quit worrying! You're going to get him back!" Blaine nods, his face still frozen in a state of terror. Puck pats him on the back, walking off.

His face doesn't change as his peers walk by, even Santana shaking him and yelling doesn't make him stir.
"Oi!" She slaps him lightly, Blaine making another sad puppy face.
"Oh stop it with the dapper puppyness! I convinced him! It was tricky, but he'll come. Friday afternoon, the auditorium. Now what are you planning on telling him?"

Blaine smiles, preparing to tell her his ideas. His mouth opens and closes a few times.
"I…ahh. I got nothing." Most of the sentence speeds out of his mouth, a terrified look returning to his face.
"Seriously! You had over an hour to think of something!"
"That doesn't help! Last time I tried to tell him, he was disgusted by me! I think more than an hour of preparation is needed!" He states, exasperated.
"You've got 2 days to plan. I said Friday, after glee club. Which reminds me! Puck was thinking about the assignment for this week and thought you could sing with him and Finn!"
"Where the hell did that come from? Not in a million years would Finn sing with me. Because, in case you forgot, I brutally broke his step brother's heart." His 'bitch' glare returns as he rolls his eyes.

"Just do it! If you get at least one more person to at least 'like' you, the rest might just forget what happened…" She trails off, her voice clearly unconvincing. His furrowed brow and tight mouth, is all Santana needs to know he's ready to scream at her once again. She smiles lightly, laughing awkwardly beginning to walk away.
"Just talk to him okay, and figure something out with Kurt!" She turns, heading off to find Brittany.
"I hate you!" She laughs at his statement, giving him a final wave.

He sighs, smiling despite himself. He leans back onto a locker, looking to the ceiling.
How the hell am I supposed to do this?

************************************************************************
Blaine rushes over the busy road, coffee in hand. He'd gotten there before the rush, hoping to miss anyone from Mckinley, luckily he did. He jumps into his car, licking his fingers from the slight spills. He begins drinking the hot drink, a loud bang meeting his ears, something hitting the car roof. He looks around, the shock causing him to burn his tongue. He's met with a cheerful grin from the passenger window, it belonging to none other than Puck. He opens the door, sitting beside Blaine, his smile still in place.
"Hey!"
"Hi…" Blaine looks to Puck cautiously, "what do you want?"
"Rude. Santana said she told you about my idea for the assignment?" He says pouting slightly. Blaine rolls his eyes, nodding.
"Good. I've got a good idea for a song. Finn's already agreed to it, so there's just you. The song's This Isn't Everything You Are." He explains, his eyes still bright.
"How does that really relate to us?" Blaine hopes he won't mention his dad and Kurt.
"It's just, it kind of relates to us, we'll at least, because, well I've kind of always been messed up about my Dad and Finn's found out his had actually died a druggie, so he's all mopey. It just seems like a good song okay." He ends up half yelling, his smile replaced with a scowl.

"Okay. I'll sing it with you, but I've got a good feeling, that Finn won't be too happy with it." Blaine mutters.
"Screw Finn. Screw all of them. They don't matter. Okay?" Puck says sternly.
"Alright, don't be turning into Santana." Blaine jokes, rising a smile from Puck.
"Oh, here's that number for the job", Puck hands Blaine a piece of paper. "It's hard work, but good pay. And Santana's been looking for apartments for you, she's probably going to force you to go look at them."

Blaine groans, taking a sip from his coffee. He's getting tired, the stupid painkillers taking their effect. He sighs rubbing his sore eyes, he hardly notices Puck's goodbye, let alone him leaving the car. He barely remembers driving and leaving the coffee shop, he only remembers, slowly falling asleep in the dark Mckinley parking lot.

************************************************************************
The next morning he's woken by his phone ringing. He groggily grabs it fumbling with the screen as he tries to answer the call.
"Uhmmhm," he mumbles.
"What a lovely greeting. Get up sleepy head." The voice is female, but Blaine's to dizzy to recognise it.
"What ya want?" He dribbles.
"Reminding you about your appointment on Saturday! You have to go. That and I'm making sure you're alive." The woman states angrily. Blaine's brow furrows as he tries to recognise the voice, the early sunlight disorientating him more.
"This is…" His face scrunches up, half due to confusion, half due to the light flooding into the car.

"Claire, loser! You're mother's friend! Wait….are you on drugs?!"
He sighs, his tolerance beginning to ware thin within seconds of knowing her identity.
"No! It's my painkillers, they make me groggy. I'll be at the appointment, now leave me alone!" He makes to hang up, but her screeching voice, tells him not to.
"Are you okay? I have to make sure other wise your Mom's going to freak out and not know what to do with herself." He swears she gets more annoying each day.
"Yes! I'm fine! Now can I wake up in peace?!"
"Ymememememe. Don't have to be so cranky! You better be here Saturday or-" He hangs up, the irritation proving too much for his tolerance.

He looks out of the front windscreen, the bright sun still piercing his eyes. He drops his head, his eyes landing on the painkillers in his bag. He moans and scrunches up his face, snatching them out of the bag, throwing 2 into his mouth, as he sculls down the rest of his water bottle. He grabs a clean set of clothes, thankful for the laundry at his hotel, and a towel, he opens the door,basically tumbling out of the car. He drags his feet along the asphalt, locking his car, he heads toward the building. His mind is still fuzzy from sleep, so he's hardly noticing anything as he walks, stumbling through the locker room doors.

He drops his clothes and towel on a bench, pulling his shirt off as he tries to undo his belt and pants, almost falling on his face. He fumbles for the faucet, letting the hot water cascade down his still heavily bruised back. The water slowly wakes him up, he lifts his head so the water runs over his face and down his chest.

"Wow! If I wasn't gay, I'd tap that!" A voice quips. Blaine moans after hearing the voice. He turns facing the speaker, the tiled barrier in between them.
"What have I done now, Santana?" He demands, sick of her games.
Santana's smile falls, it being replaced with annoyance.
"Nothing! I just came to check up on you. That and I thought I could help you with what you're going to say to Kurt!" She remarks, a small kind smile now lighting up her features.
"Can I at least shower in peace then? I've had a rough night and I just want 20 minutes to forget about it without any company!" He grumbles, Santana rolling her eyes as she walks back out of the locker room.

Blaine closes his eyes again, leaning his head against the cool tiles, his mind still buzzing with the nightmares from last night. Most consisting of Lilly disowning him, or Kurt, or both of them getting hurt with him helpless to stop it. He breathes out slowly, grasping for something that isn't there. Kurt's shirt, the shirt he's slept with clutched to his chest for weeks now, he desperately wants more. He wants Kurt here with him. Here now, stroking his wet curls off his forehead, kissing him softly and whispering 'I love you.' He opens his eyes, his gaze is greeted by the wet tiles instead of the boy he's been dreaming of. But for one second, just one, he thought it was real, he thought he had Kurt.

He thought he wasn't alone anymore.

************************************************************************
He luckily escapes Santana after his shower, quickly making his way back to his car and over to the Lima Bean. He waits for his coffee silently, his mind still miles away. He barely notices the annoying babble that slowly comes closer to him. He only notices when it stops and a severe death glare is on the speaker's face. His eyes just catch her face, Rachel, clinging tightly to Kurt's arm. He quickly grabs his order, to escape another Rachel Berry confrontation.

The cold air blows right through him, sending streams of pain over his chest, his ribs clearly not appreciating his sleeping position last night. He breathes out slowly, it showing in the freezing morning air.

It's gonna be a hell of a day…

************************************************************************
He hardly notices anything or anyone. He bumps into people, barely hearing Santana or Puck or any teacher he's had today. Even at lunch, when Puck, Finn and him are planning their song for tomorrow, he barely hears a word, just nods every now and again. It's not that he's not interested, it's just, he can't seem to stop thinking about what he's going to say to Kurt.

Should he sing? Or would that be to predictable? But if he tries to talk he knows he'll end up babbling and won't say what he wants to. Throughout his English double, he searches his iPod for something, anything that he can sing to Kurt, but nothing fits. Since his English teacher is just mumbling and the rest of the class is either asleep or throwing things at each other, there's no way anyone's going to notice him and his iPod, even if he is grumbling at it. His eyes brighten as he lands on a song, a song that's absolutely perfect without being to cliche or soppy. He smiles as the last bell rings, his eyes still focused on the screen, slowly making his way out of the door.

A surprisingly giddy Santana skips up beside him, her smile, once again, bordering on manic.
"Hello…" Blaine says, cautiously. It really was going to take sometime for him to get used to Santana smiling, without some abusive remark coming out of her mouth.
"Hi! You got any ideas as to what you're going to say to Kurt? Also remember, you've got an-"
"Appointment at the hospital on Saturday night, 7. I know! And I've got a bit of something to say to Kurt, well sing… kinda…."
"Like what?" She asks, looking at him expectingly. He only shrugs, and looks to his feet.
"Really? Again with the nervous school boy act!" He merely looks at her with an irritated look.
"FIne! Come on!" She grabs his arm dragging him out into the parking lot, and to his car.

She jumps on the bonnet, sitting patiently as she awaits him to join her. He tentatively sits by her, his eyes still slightly narrow.
"We really have to work on this whole lack of trust you have for me. Now what's your idea?"
He looks down to his hands, still uncertain as to whether his idea is any good. He places his iPod into Santana's hand, thinking it to be easier than actually speaking. Santana smiles, her gaze still on the device, even as Blaine stares at her waiting for her response.

"It's perfect," her eyes fall back onto Blaine, catching his small sigh of relief. "If he doesn't listen to you or take you back after it, I don't know what's wrong with him!"
The remark brings a small smile to Blaine's features, his worry slowly fading.
"Now….How about we go have dinner?" Blaine's eyes widen, his head instantly beginning to shake.
"I'm not that bad company. And you could do with a decent feed." She grabs his hand again, quickly grabbing his keys before he can stop her.

He groans, but none the less, he hops into the car, a small smile on his face. Now all he has to survive is Santana's on going commentary, and her horrible driving.

************************************************************************
He drops Santana off at home after dinner, her parting words being, "it's going to get better, I promise," which almost sends him into another emotional breakdown. Now here he is, sat in an empty dark parking lot, shivering from the cold. He's dreading tomorrow, still terrified of what might happen. He crawls into the back seat of his car, wrapping his duvet and blankets around him. He grabs Kurt's shirt, once again burying his nose into the material. He sighs hoping whatever happens tomorrow, is anything, but Kurt rejecting him, again. He closes his eyes, readying himself for another night filled with terrifying dreams.

************************************************************************
He wakes up, his ribs screaming, his eyes wide and his heart pounding. He tries to slow his breathing, hoping the remaining images from his nightmare fade. He runs a hand through his curly hair, his eyes tired from lack of sleep. A loud knock on the side window startles him, he quickly turns to see the perpetrator, the movement sending more streaks of pain across his ribs. He's greeted by Santana's smiling face, which of course only receives a grimace from Blaine. He groggily unlocks the door, his fingers fumbling with the button. Santana opens the door, jumping in next to Blaine, almost jumping on him as he slowly sits up.

"Hi!" her voice rings in Blaine's ears, her greeting only receiving a slight nod. "I got you some coffee!" She hands him a hot coffee, him gingerly taking it.
"Aren't you a bundle of fun in the morning.." She grumbles, her eyes focusing on the mess that was once a car, now a bedroom and home.
"I'm sure you would be too after only getting about 4 hours sleep, most of which is filled with nightmares!" He grumbles, sipping the hot beverage.
Her smile falls slightly, it turning tight and sad, her bright features turning sombre.
"Anyway. You ready for today?" Blaine turns to her, his eyebrow quirked and a frown in place. He opens his door, the cold air hitting him, waking him up more.

He grabs his clean clothes and towel, trudging of toward the school. Santana follows him, closing the door. He finishes the last of his coffee once he enters the locker room, beginning to pull his shirt over his head, completely ignoring Santana. She winces when his bare back comes into view, the deep bruising still very visible. She covers her eyes once he starts to get to his briefs.
"You really have no concept of decency…" Santana states, her eyes still shielded.
"You're the one still standing here." She hears, as the sound of running water fills the room.
"You know what? I'll just leave you to your business.."
"Finally!" Santana smirks as she turns around, uncovering her eyes and walking out of the room, leaving Blaine to his churning thoughts.

************************************************************************
Blaine avoids Santana for half the morning, unfortunately having to speak to her at lunch, once again, her nagging him about his talk with Kurt.

He almost gets through the conversation, until she says "and, look if he doesn't listen or accept it, we'll figure something else out."

His eyes go straight to Santana's, fear and dread beginning to fill them. The bell rings and Blaine slowly stands up, his mind racing all over again. He breathes slowly as he makes his way to his last classes of the day. He really doesn't think any of this is going to work. There's no way Kurt's going to believe him.

Why did I agree to any of this? It's just going to end in tears, mine!

He spends his English double scribbling in his book and trying to keep his mind off of Kurt, but it's pointless. His mind keeps falling back to him, either remembering all the times his heart would skip a beat when they were together, or it would change into when they broke up, the heartbreak in Kurt's eyes being so vivid. He's shocked out of his memories by the last bell of the day ringing, the loud chatter of his classmates, and the other students out in the hall. He slowly trudges out the door, his mind still lost in his memories.

He doesn't notice he's in the choir room, until he feels Santana's hand on his shoulder, softly shaking him out of his reverie.
"You okay?" She whispers quietly, as she guides him over to a seat.
"Yeah, just thinking.." He replies, clearly still in a daze.
"About?"
"Stuff", he mutters, sitting down, his eyes still looking dead ahead as they all wait the arrival of the rest of the club and Mr. Schue.

Blaine waits patiently, his heart shattering when Kurt enters, his eyes are red again. But why would he have been crying?
Blaine drops his eyes when Kurt looks to him, the last few members of the club entering behind him. Blaine breathes slowly, he's begging anything and everything out there to save him from this. The rest of the club has already performed, most on Thursday, so they were the last. From what Blaine can tell, they're the only ones who are completely truthful in their reasons for the song. He watches as Mr. Schue enters, a smile on his face, and a terrible vest over a button down. Blaine closes his eyes trying to keep from having a panic attack.

"Right! So everyone's here and ready to go! Okay, so the only group we haven't heard from is Puck, Finn and Blaine. So when you're ready guys." Mr. Schue states, rushing over to take a seat with the rest of the club.

Puck nods to Blaine, Finn and him standing and grabbing stools. Blaine's been dreading this for days, the last thing he needed was for the entire club to think he was some poor abused boy, that and he's worried sick that it'll push Kurt to stay away. Puck pats him on the shoulder as they sit in a line.

"Well, this song kinda works for us all, mainly about our families, I guess. Anyway…" Puck nods to the band, finishing his small rambled speech. The music starts, Blaine's heart skipping a beat as he thinks over the lyrics, beginning them.

You can't find the phone
So you can call it off
But it might be for the best
You can walk away anyway
Because you've nowhere else to go

He thinks back to the night his father threw him out the door, how he cried for hours, how he bashed his dashboard in, trying anything and everything to stop the pain.
Is he worth all this
Is it a simple yes?
Cause if you have to think
That's stuffed
Feels like you've loved him more
Than he loved you
You wish you never met

Kurt was worth it. He'd always be worth it, but even after all he did, Kurt still didn't believe him, maybe he doesn't love him, at least not as much as Blaine does. Finn and Puck begin to join in, bringing Blaine out of his thoughts.

Don't keel over now
Don't keel over
Don't keel over now
Don't keel over

He turns to see Puck take a deep breath, and for the first time, he swears there's tears in his eyes.

You've been up all night
And the night before
And you've lost count of drinks and time

He can tell Puck's thinking of his father, probably the nights he wanted to bury himself in alcohol, thinking it would stop his father cropping up in his thoughts.

And your friends keep calling worried sick
And there's strangers everywhere

Don't keel over now
Don't keel over

Santana wouldn't stop calling him, not even when he finally gave in and let her in. She didn't stop, didn't want to lose him, she cared. They join together for the chorus, almost all of them on the edge of tears.

And in one little moment
It all implodes
This isn't everything you are
Breath deeply in the silence
No sudden moves
This isn't everything you are
Just take the hand that's offered
And hold on tight
This isn't everything you are
There's joy not far from here,
I know there is
This isn't everything you are

He's glad he's let Santana in, he's felt so lonely. He hadn't smiled in weeks before Santana, hadn't laughed, had never thought he was loved, never thought someone cared.

When you took the call
How could you know
That he'd slipped away last night
When you wish you'd went
Home days ago
To say goodbye, or just hello

Finn has tears streaming down his cheeks, everyone knows he's clearly thinking of his father. To never have a chance to even speak to him, to never even know him. Blaine can't even imagine what he's feeling, but he knows if he wasn't so hated by Finn, he'd help. The trio take another deep breath, ready to sing the last verse, all of them trying to keep their voices steady.

And in one little moment
It all implodes
This isn't everything you are
Breath deeply in the silence
No sudden moves
This isn't everything you are
Just take the hand that's offered
And hold on tight
This isn't everything you are
There's joy not far from here, right
I know there is
This isn't everything you are

This isn't everything you are...

The music slowly fades away as the band stops playing, most of the club teary eyed. Finn's the only one really crying, and most of the club have rushed over to him and are now either hugging him or talking with him. Only Santana walks over to Blaine, Puck already having some comfort from the club. She hugs him tightly, his own tears on the edge of falling. His eyes meet Kurt's, which are watering, his lip wobbling slightly. Kurt pulls his gaze away from Blaine, sitting back in his seat, his head down, Blaine sighs, trying to keep his heart steady. Santana pulls away from him, her hands on his cheeks, catching the single tear that falls from his eye.

"Remember, I'm here for you." She whispers, he nods, squeezing her shoulder as he pushes her away gently.

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Kurt can hardly breathe when they stop singing, he can't pull his eyes away from Blaine. This shouldn't be getting to him, he shouldn't be getting to him, but he looks so shattered, so small and scared, he can't help it. He's deeply tempted to rush over to him and never let him go, yet he can't. He just won't move. He slowly stands up, making his way over to Finn, who's already sobbing into Rachel's shoulder, he can't look at Blaine, he just can't bare it. He only pats Finn's shoulder, trying to comfort him. He quickly makes his way back over to his seat, his eyes connecting with Blaine's, the anguish and regret that fill them makes Kurt's heart twist even more painfully.

He turns his eyes away, settling them on his seat, he vaguely hears Santana telling Blaine that she's there for him, he desperately wishes it's him who's saying it, who's holding him. He sits, his eyes to the floor, still scared of them connecting with Blaine's once again.

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"Right, so guys why did you choose that song?" Mr. Schue asks, as everyone begins to settle back into their seats, the boys included.
Finn wipes his eyes as he looks to Puck, hoping he'd answer first.

"Well, to be honest, my Dad, or deadbeat, well it's just been getting to me…. I dunno.." Puck mutters, wrapping his arms around himself.
"Well, ever since I found out about my Dad, I just….I just don't know what to do. It's like he's died all over again or something…" his cracked voice echoes through the room, Rachel gently stroking his head.

Everyone turns to Blaine, awaiting his answer. Most have smug looks, clearly already not caring or believing whatever he might say. He breathes in slowly, his mind racing with lies to tell them.
"I….I've been a bit down recently. There's some stuff I've been regretting….. some people I've hurt because of that stuff and….. people have been trying to help, but I've just pushed them away and…..it's just been getting to me." He finishes mumbling his eyes still on the floor, tears still swimming in them.

"Really? That's it! You've got no damn reason to be upset! At least nothing valid! You know what, you got a problem, maybe you should just keep quiet and deal with it yourself. You're such a dick to make it seem as if your problems even mattered. Get some fucking perspective!" Finn shouts, some of the club nodding slightly with him as they glare at Blaine.

"Finn! Watch your language! Everyone can get down over things-"
"No, he's right Mr. Schue. Just forget what I said….it doesn't matter." His voice almost breaks as he mumbles. He's desperately wanting to punch Finn in the face and to scream out everything that's happening to him, but if Kurt won't believe him, why would any of them?

He grabs his bag walking out of the choir room, ignoring Santana and Mr. Schue calling for him. He just keeps walking, doesn't stop, not even when Santana's caught up to him and is now chatting his ear off about how Finn was wrong. He keeps his eyes forward, his feet moving until he reaches the auditorium doors.

Even then, he just drops his bag by the side of the stage and sits on the piano stool, his eyes fully focused on the keys.

"You even listening to me?" Santana screeches, irritation overcoming her tolerance.
"Not really. Can you just leave me alone? Wait outside the doors for Kurt, and just leave me alone. I just need a minute…" Santana slowly walks off the stage and out of the auditorium, waiting for Kurt.

Blaine breathes out slowly, hoping the 'on the edge of breaking down' feeling will subside. He closes his eyes, leaning his head against the piano, the cold wood soothing his growing headache. What if he doesn't come? What the hell am I supposed to do then? Why the hell won't I just stop thinking?!

He groans, pulling his head up to look at the high celling, trying to calm his mind.
What the hell have I gotten myself in to?