Oct. 1, 2012, 3:50 a.m.
Never Let Me Go: Chapter 3
M - Words: 2,874 - Last Updated: Oct 01, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 10/? - Created: Jan 27, 2012 - Updated: Oct 01, 2012 409 0 0 0 0
He silently walks over to her as she whispers, "did you do it? Did you end it with Kurt?", worry clear in her hazel eyes, "please tell me you didn't! Please tell me you told him everything and he agreed to see you in secret or something, plea-"
"Yes, I broke up with him," her face falls and becomes annoyed at Blaine, "but I won't be without him for long. I can't live the lie Dad wants me to."
"That's great!" She says faking surprise, "but there's just a small problem Blaine, he'll hurt you! Like seriously hurt you! Like bash the crap out of you, never walk the same way again hurt you! Just see Kurt in secret…"
"I shouldn't have to, he should accept me… Look if you saw his face after I broke up with him you'd understand."
He doesn't notice the fear in her eyes till he hears his father clear his throat behind him, he turns to face him, his eyes boring into him.
"Have you done what I asked?" He says, his eyes darkening, fist clenching as if ready to begin smashing his face in if he answers wrong.
Blaine's mouth goes dry as his fear overtakes him. He swallows grabbing all the courage he can and speaks.
"Yes, but I love him," he mumbles, though considering the speed his speech was at, you could hardly call it speech.
Blaine's father's eyes instantly widen, and his shock is soon replaced with anger.
"What?!" He bellows, Blaine flinches, stepping back and reaching out to Lilly, scared he might have to protect her from their own father.
He slowly lifts his head and brings his eyes up to meet his father's.
"I broke up with him," again he has to muster all the courage he can and remember the boy he's doing all this for.
"But no matter what you do or say, I'm still going to love him, even if he hates me right now, I will always love him!"
He ends staring hard into his father's angered features, and for once Blaine finally doesn't feel small standing in front of his father, for once he doesn't feel like a child.
His father's anger grows behind his already burning eyes. Blaine hardly registers what's happen till his lying on the floor, his jaw aching and head spinning. He looks up at his father, who's basically foaming at the mouth with rage, his fist still clenched from the blow he delivered to Blaine's jaw. Blaine shrinks, his courage dissipating instantly.
"Go upstairs and pack your things, you've got 30 minutes," his father spits.
Blaine scrambles to his feet and scurries up the stairs. He rushes into his room grabbing two giant bags from the closet stuffing all his clothes, blankets, pillows, cds, dvds and photos into them. He barely notices his sister by the door until he hears her quite sobs. He looks to her and the site breaks his heart all over again.
Her eyes are the saddest he's ever seen them, she's always been the one to brighten his day, always smiling making cute dimples in her cheeks. He never thought she'd ever look as heartbroken as she did now.
"Please don't go Blaine. I don't want you to go", she says her voice cracking.
"Lilly, I have to, he won't let me stay," he hopes he sounds as if he's pleading, because he knew his attempt at telepathy definitely wasn't working, even though his head kept the mantra. Please, please, there's nothing I can do. Just please don't defend me against him!
"But where will you go? Kurt's not going to give you a place to stay, unless you tell him the truth. And I know you'd never do that." She mumbles, she'd always seen through him, ever since she was little, she'd always know when he'd done something wrong. Blaine smiles gently, trying not to think about how much he'd miss the simplest things about her, how much he'd miss her.
"Don't worry I'll figure something out. But I can't speak to you once I leave. He'll get mad, he won't let you talk to me. You have to promise me you'll listen to him. Promise me," she nods slowly as Blaine walks over to her.
"If you ever want to talk to me you ask Mom. Okay?"
She nods again, biting her lip to keep the tears at bay, just like she did when she was 6. He wraps his arms around her pulling her into his chest.
"Whatever he says about me, don't listen. Please make your own decisions. No matter what I'll always love you." He whispers to her, he knows that it's almost inevitable that she'll fall for his medieval views, but he's too stubborn to accept it, not yet. His world might be about to crash down around him all over again, but he is not losing his loving little sister, not to a deranged man that was supposed to accept them both no matter what.
She nods into his shoulder, hugging him just a bit tighter, her lip wobbling as her heart breaks.
"So.." she says pulling away from Blaine, "you need any help packing?"
He nods, and begins packing again, grabbing all his bowties, he doesn't notice Lilly leaving the room, only to return some seconds later. He's almost finished with the majority of his possessions, when she walks up beside him, tapping his shoulder as he grabs all his favourite novels.
"Blaine," he turns, "I thought you'd like this," she says handing him a small photo album, the one he used to keep hidden beneath his bed. He takes it gently, opening it up to see whether it's contents was how he left it.
"I saved most of them before he could get to them all," Lilly whispers, looking at Blaine.
The first few pages are blank as he searches them, some of the photo's corners remain from where they were torn out, but the moment he reaches a page he was hoping for, he can't hold back his tears. The photo is of Kurt and himself, during the summer, Blaine's hugging him from the side and nuzzling Kurt's ear, making Kurt laugh and smile one of the most amazing smiles Blaine's ever seen. He remembers the day it was taken, they were in the park with Mercedes, just messing around and having fun, Mercedes had taken the photo and sent it to both the boys, saying they looked too adorable not to. He remembers how perfect Kurt looked that day, how the sun caught his face, how bright his smile was, how amazing his eyes were with the sun shining into them, making them shine brighter than galaxies. He smiles at Lilly, tears still slowly cascading down his cheeks.
"Thank you" he says, his voice cracking.
Lilly hugs him tight, but they pull away from each other, once they realise they don't have the time. Blaine gathers up his overflowing bags and guitar case, hurrying out of his room, Lilly close behind. They come face to face with their father.
"Time's up, fag!" He spits, grabbing Blaine's jacket and pulling him toward the stairs.
"Dad, please don't hurt him. He's done nothing wrong!" Lilly shouts, hoping for once someone would listen to her.
"This is how we treat disgusting fags, like your brother, Lilly," he smirks looking to her, "like the disgusting trash they are!"
He pushes Blaine down the stairs, ignoring Lilly's protests, and the fact he's still his son. Blaine falls, back colliding with the steps, he tumbles landing on his side, sending shocks of pain across his ribs. He faintly hears Lilly's cries, the ringing in his ears drowning them, from where his head collided with the railing. Blaine lays there at the bottom of the stairs, his entire body aching, especially his chin and cheek, from where they collided with the last steps. He barely registers his sisters whimpers, as his father picks him up and throws him into the wall, pushing him up it, sending more pain coursing through his chest.
"What you are is disgusting, Blaine! You deserve this pain, you deserve to be ashamed. You deserved all those beatings and so much more. And you know what so does your disgusting butt buddy, Kurt!"
With that sentence, Blaine snaps, within seconds his fist connects with his father's jaw. He's dropped to the floor as his father stumbles back. Blaine moves toward the coffee table trying to get his bearings, and preparing to fight his father. His father stands up facing Blaine, pure rage burning in his eyes, he grabs Blaine's shirt again, but Blaine struggles, he throws Blaine backwards, causing him to stumble over the coffee table falling through the glass, shattering it into pieces. He cries out as the glass pierces the skin of his face and arm, biting hard on his lip to muffle his cries, only makes them bleed. His father picks him up by the shirt, dragging him to the door, Blaine stumbling as he tries to regain his footing. It doesn't matter, within seconds Blaine's thrown out of the door onto the cold, hard pavement, his head rattling from the harsh collision with the concrete. He's soon followed by his luggage, which is basically thrown at Blaine's aching body.
"If you ever come back, I'll make sure you end up in the hospital!" His father yells, as Blaine whimpers, and tries to crawl or stand or anything.
He can hear the muffled protests of his sister, as he tries to stand up. He gently eases himself up, grabbing his stuff as he heads for his car. Throwing his things into the back, he jumps into the drivers seat, speeding off, still terrified that his father might follow him and finish the job. He drives for what feels like hours as his tears begin to blur his vision, causing him to stop on the side of the road, the rain pelting heavily onto the roof, which only makes his head pound more. He's got nowhere now, no family, no home, no friends. And now no love to comfort him, to tell him his father's wrong, to tell him he's found love that is true as his own name, no one to tell him it wasn't all worth for nothing, that he was brave or strong or anything.
His thoughts are interrupted by his radio's static. He winces at the noise and tries to tune it back to something less painful. One of the worst songs for his situation right now just happens to come on, angering him, but not for long.
*Well, the key to my survival
Was never in much doubt
The question was how I could keep sane
Trying to find the way out
Things were never easy for me
Peace of mind was hard to find
And I needed a place where I could hide
Somewhere I could call mine*
That had basically been his life for the past 3 years, he didn't want to hide himself, but he wanted to be insignificant enough to last high school and get out of Ohio and be who he wanted to be, not caring who'd judge. His safe place was Kurt's, or just being with Kurt, he always felt safe with Kurt, always safe in his arms.
*I didn't think much about it
Till it started happening all the time
Soon I was living with the fear everyday
Of what might happen at night*
He remembered the nights he hid in his room as his parents fought. He always found it was about him or money, which always turned into the amount of time either worked, how his Mom wasn't around enough, or how his father was always married to the job.
*I couldn't stand to hear the
Crying of my mother
And I remember when
I swore that, that would be the
Last they'd see of me
And I never went home again*
The worst was after Lilly was about 4, they'd argue all night keeping them awake, he'd be lying on his bed burying his head in his pillow, when he'd hear his door creak open and feel his sister sneak into his bed curling up close to him. He'd hold her all night telling her it'd be okay, when in truth he had no idea.
*They say time is a healer
And now my wounds are not the same
I rang the bell with my heart in my mouth
I had to hear what he'd say
He sat me down to talk to me
He looked me straight in the eyes
He said:
You're no son, you're no son of mine
You're no son, you're no son of mine
You walked out, you left us behind
And you're no son, you're no son of mine*
He thinks back to the day his father found out he was gay. He came home from school, his mother rushing to him and almost crushing him to death with her grip, saying something about how she'd always accept him. For a moment he had no idea what she was on about till his father came into the room. He didn't seem angry, not until he spoke.
"Your not my son," Blaine looked to him his heart breaking. "Because I would never raise my son to be a disgusting fag!"
*Oh his words how they hurt me
I'll never forget it
And as the time, it went by
I lived to regret it
You're no son, you're no son of mine
But where should I go
Please tell me what should I do
You're no son, you're no son of mine
But I came here for help
Oh I was looking for you*
He starts thinking about Lilly, and the fact that it terrifies him that he might not see her again now, all because he's fallen so hard for this one gorgeous boy. God, he wanted nothing more than to just talk to her for hours about her day and for it to be like none of this ever happened.
*Well the years they passed so slowly
I thought about him everyday
What would I do, if we passed on the street
Would I keep running away
In and out of hiding places
Soon I'd have to face the facts
We'd have to sit down and talk it over
And that would mean going back*
He begins to glare at the radio, hating how true the verses were. Minus the part of talking it over, because it would most likely be Blaine's head being smashed into the walls, as his father screams how disgusting and unnatural his faggy life style is.
*They say time is a healer
And now my wounds are not the same
I rang the bell with my heart in my mouth
I had to hear what he'd say
He sat me down to talk to me
He looked me straight in the eyes*
He hated to think were he'd be in a couple of years, hated to think that most likely by that point his sister would hate him, his father would still say he never had a second son, especially one that was gay. He hated to think that he'd still have no family, no friends, and no love in his life, just as he did now.
*He said:
You're no son, you're no son of mine
You're no son, you're no son of mine
You walked out, you left us behind
And you're no son, you're no son of mine
Oh his words how they hurt me
I'll never forget it
And as the time, it went by
I lived to regret it
You're no son, you're no son of mine
But where should I go
Please tell me what should I do*
Blaine begins glaring harder, his face turning into a snarl, as if he was about to maul the radio for it's stupid coincidental skills.
*You're no son, you're no son of mine
But I came here for help
Oh I was looking for you*
Of course being as delicate as he could, he begins to kick the crap out of the radio and dashboard, smashing anything his foot comes into contact with, until the radio's noise has warped away and almost come out of the now dented dashboard. He drops his head onto the steering wheel, breathing heavily, the bashing causing more pain to shoot across his chest.
He's got no one now. No one to believe in him anymore, no one to keep him sane, to tell him this was real and not some bad dream, no one to tell him that eventually it will get better. He has nothing, so he sits there crying and hoping that someone would save him from this hell he's been put in, hoping that maybe it's all some terrible nightmare, but deep down he knows, none of it's true, this is his harsh reality. He has no saviour, he has no one, but himself, and he has never felt so lonely in his entire life as he does now.