Oct. 1, 2012, 3:50 a.m.
Never Let Me Go: Chapter 2
M - Words: 2,628 - Last Updated: Oct 01, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 10/? - Created: Jan 27, 2012 - Updated: Oct 01, 2012 440 0 2 0 0
As he walks down the hall, Blaine's mind is spinning his heart racing, millions of thoughts race through his head, the one screaming the loudest being 'how the hell am I supposed to tell him? The one person I love more than anything in the world? The one person who loved me or at least cared enough to pretend?' He was pretty sure he knocked into a few people in the crowded hallway, but he didn't care, his mind was completely lost in thought and the fact that the cheap cotton of his 'masculine', as his Dad would say, itchy t-shirt and loose, ripped jeans, his father also insisted he wear, wasn't helping his concentration. He had no answers to his questions, even as he walked up to the beautiful pale boy, dressed of course in the most amazing outfit, with the knee high boots that always sent Blaine's imagination wild, almost made him give up on thinking clearly entirely.
"Hey, handsome." Kurt says, a smile brightening his features the moment he sets eyes on Blaine.
"We still on for tonight? I'm dying to get some alone time with you and away from my Dad. Which reminds me, were you okay last night? You seemed kind of scared hanging around your Dad, as if he would hurt-"
"I'm breaking up with you." Blaine cuts in, trying to hide the heartache the words give him.
Kurt's eyes widen in disbelief, it takes him a few moments for his mind to register what Blaine had just said.
"You're what?" Kurt replies, trying to keep his voice steady, searching Blaine's eyes for any hint of sick humour, any hint of a lie, anything to prove this wasn't real.
"I don't want to see you anymore" Blaine's voice wavers.
Kurt's heart drops to the pit of his stomach, the only thought in his mind please, oh god please, this has to be a nightmare, please no, stop, wake up, wake up!
"But….what did I do? I'll fix it I promise! You…..you said you loved me." Kurt's pleading voice almost makes Blaine back out all together.
Blaine looks to the floor basically death glaring it, trying to make this torturing 'performance' as believable as possible, he begins to speak the words he knows will not only break the boy in front of him's heart, but his own.
"Why would I ever love you! What you are is……disgusting," he grinds out, trying to control the urge to tell Kurt he didn't mean it.
Kurt looks to him, confused, has he forgotten that he lost his virginity to me? No, no, please just wake up!
"But, your the same, and don't tell me your not! Not after those nights with me, no straight man in his right mind would do that."
"I had to make you think I honestly loved you, best joke yet. I did all of that to hurt you Kurt, 'cause what you are is wrong, your wants, thoughts, you are wrong. What we did was an act against nature, so I don't want to see you again."
Blaine recites, remembering the words his father always told him in their fights.
"But you…..you loved me. That was real!" Kurt whispered, tears cascading down his porcelain cheeks, his heart so close to smashing into a million pieces. He refuses to believe this is really happening, it can't, he loves him.
It took all of Blaine's devotion and love for this boy, to not kiss away his tears, and tell him all these words were a lie, because he knew that he would be safe as long as he hated him forever. That's the whole reason Blaine's even doing this, he loves Kurt more than anything, and he doesn't care what his father will do to him, but he knew that if he didn't choose what his father wanted, it wouldn't just have been Blaine he'd be beating, he'd find Kurt and have no mercy. That's why he had to say those 8 words that completely shattered both of their hearts and any chance Blaine would have do redeem himself.
"Who could ever love a fag like you" he whispers, staring into the already broken boy's eyes in front of him, immediately his own heart begins breaking, he can barely believe he said it.
Kurt's heart shatters, twisting in his chest, he doesn't even care that his tears are flowing strongly down his cheeks, his whole world is crashing down around him. And in that moment Kurt cracks, he slaps Blaine hard cross the face, causing him to stumble, only slightly surprised. He shoves him against the lockers, running down the crowded hallway, not caring or even noticing the people he collides with. Blaine stands there slumped against the hard lockers, trying to make sure no one sees the tears forming in his eyes. He'd been hit, slapped and shoved more times than he care to remember, but never had it hurt so much as it had now. It took every ounce of strength that Blaine had to not break down right there, it took every ounce of strength to not run after Kurt and beg him to forget it, to tell him everything he wanted to, everything he should have told him before it had come to this.
The rest of the day was a blur for him, he couldn't get Kurt's face out of his head, the moment his heart broke just kept replaying over and over in Blaine's mind, torturing him. By the end of the day there was only one thought in his mind, and that was that he knew no matter what happens, or whatever anyone thinks or says, nothing is going to change the way he feels for Kurt, nothing is going to stop him loving Kurt, not even the rejection of his father.
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There was nothing Kurt could do to hold back the tears, not anymore. All day he felt numb, and now as his fellow glee clubbers reactions brew in his mind, he can't take it. Slowly the choir room fills with the glee kids, it breaks Kurt's heart even more to see Mike and Tina laughing together and Finn and Rachel acting disgustingly cute, knowing he lost that only hours ago. Then the one person he had loved walks in, the one he thought felt the same about him, the person who was responsible for this terrible heart ache, Blaine 'Heartbreaker' Anderson, or perhaps 'Douche-bag' Anderson was more fitting. It's hard for Blaine to even look at Kurt or anyone else for that matter, he's terrified of what Kurt has told the club. Kurt glares at him the entire time Blaine walks over to his seat, what surprises him is when Blaine finally looks up, he sees nothing, but regret and sorrow, and just for a second, he could swear Blaine was on the verge of tears. Blaine sits on the other side of the room hoping the world would end to save him from this horrible torture.
Finn finally notices Kurt crying, and becomes the concerned big brother.
"Kurt, what happened? Did Azimio do something?" His face becoming confused.
Kurt sighs, looking annoyed at Finn.
"No actually" he turns to Blaine, "my boyfriend broke up with me!"
Finn's becomes even more confused, he thought Blaine loved Kurt more than anything, his confusion is soon replaced with anger for the boy sitting in the corner, his silent weeping unknown to everyone.
"What?! What the hell Blaine?" He rushes over to him, preparing to fight him. "Do you think you can do whatever the hell you want?" He yells, grabbing Blaine's shirt, and pulling his face close to his own, raising his fist ready to connect it with Blaine's jaw. At that moment Mr.Schue luckily walks in, see's the scene and rushes over, breaking the pair up with some force, the only fight coming from Finn. He pushes them apart and looks to Finn.
"What the hell is going on, you guys?"
Finn's rage resurfaces, having only subsided for a few seconds.
"That asshole broke my brothers heart!" He shouts, attempting to lunge at him again, but being stopped by Mr. Schue.
Mr.Schue looks at Blaine, trying to hide his anger toward the boy standing in front of him, but his expression still shows his disappointment. The entire club seems furious at Blaine, none of them thinking of his reason as to why he did it. And in that moment Blaine breaks, he had believed at least one of them was his friend, that at least one of them would show some concern, but now all he saw was hatred in their eyes, not caring about him what so ever.
So he runs, runs out of the choir room, through the halls, bumping some students in his panicked sprint, his chest constricting and his breath becoming shallow. He continues running till he's out of the school and under the bleachers. He falls into the dirt, his jean clad knees becoming covered in mud, as the rain pours down. He tries to slow his breathing, but he can't, he knew he was having a panic attack, he used to always get them back at his old school, usually after running away from bullies. He sits their, for what feels like hours, his sobs wrenching from his very soul. His heart was breaking all over again, he couldn't lose Kurt like this, he couldn't lose him at all. He knew what would come next, that's probably the whole reason he's even having a panic attack, he's terrified of what his father may do, he's just terrified of his father. And yet despite being an atheist, he prays to every God out there, that his father would only attack him, and not the one boy he loved, not Kurt.
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Kurt's head begins pounding from the chatter his friends are making. All asking whether or not he wanted them to do something, that something being either beating the crap out of Blaine or talking to him and telling him all he's missing. He closes his eyes trying, hoping it would calm him enough not to hit someone.
"Screw this, I'm goin' all lima heights on that Hobbit!" He hears Santana shout, and storm out.
"Santana, just leave him alone!" His feeble attempt to stop her, falls on deaf ears.
He sinks back into his chair, silently begging anyone who's listening to make everyone just go away and forget he ever said anything.
"Why don't you want her to talk with him?" Mercedes asks, wondering why Kurt's showing any courtesy to Blaine.
"I just don't want anything to do with him anymore, I may hate him right now, but that doesn't mean I want someone to beat him up." He looks to the door, surprised that he's actually genuinely concerned for Blaine, but still deep in his broken heart, hoping Santana at least gives him one hell of a verbal beat down.
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Santana begins scouring the school searching for that asshole Anderson, she heads for the bleachers, seeing his figure hidden in behind the metal. She saunters over to him, getting ready to make him wish he never laid eyes on Kurt, she comes within metres of him huddled on the ground, and just as she's about to open her mouth and lay one on him, she notices him shaking. She sneaks closer moving closer to the fence trying to hide herself, as she gets closer she begins to hear his sobs and sees he's panicking, mainly by the hyperventilating and the fact he's clutching clumps of his shirt while rocking gently.
Her anger subsides instantly, she's tempted to go up to him and calm him down, but it's a fleeting thought as she remembers what he did to Kurt, still she can't help, but think that there was more to their break up than Blaine just being an asshole. Not many people cry after breaking up with their boyfriend like he was now, not many people would be that cruel to break up with someone like that, definitely not Blaine, not willingly.
He begins murmuring something Santana can't quite make out, she walks closer till she's only standing a few feet from him.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please. Make it stop, make it stop…." He's basically rambling now, talking to anyone who was listening, hoping someone would help him, hoping Kurt, his father, his mother, his sister, the entire glee club and anyone else he had wronged would forgive him. His pain was getting to much to bare, he could barely breathe, his head was pounding, his panic attack becoming extremely worse, if he didn't calm down now, he was going to lose consciousness, and who knows how long he'd be left there under the bleachers then.
He jumped when he felt someone wrapping their arms around him, he turns facing the culprit, his heart rate increasing. He comes face to face with a slightly annoyed Santana, who's doing her best to hold or hug Blaine, to be honest she has no idea why she's even doing anything for him.
"What…wha..what are you d-doing?" He stutters, his breathing still an unreasonably fast pace.
"Your having a freaking panic attack! I heard somewhere that some people feel better if someone hugs them or something, and as much as I hate you right now I'm not going to let you die," she re-wraps her arms around him, telling him to breathe and shut up.
His heart begins to slow as does his breathing, he starts to feel incredibly uncomfortable, and slightly scared of Santana.
"You…er… you can let me go now," he states, pushing her away.
"Good, your gelled hair was making me feel nauseous," even though she's smiling as she jokes, Blaine still looks at her cautiously.
"Why the hell did you even…do that for me?"
"Well, at first I was coming to find you to go all lima heights on your ass, but to be honest I wanted to know why you broke up with Kurt?" He looks to her, confused.
"No one who would ever want Kurt, would give him up so easily, and I actually think you love him. Mainly because the fact that you stare at him all day like he's your world,"
"You mean like the way you look at Britney," he cuts in, smiling slightly.
"Yeah. So are you going to tell me why you hurt Kurt like that?" She suddenly becomes very stern, and although it might have terrify some people, it only angers Blaine.
"None of your business. I was sick of him so I dumped him. He's a pain in the ass."
"Well, some nights after a long week and he wants to be adventurous, I'm sure he is. But there's gotta be another reason? Your not that shallow."
He rolls his eyes at her comment, his irritation only increasing.
"Look, why don't you piss off, and just go back to Kurt and tell him how much of an asshole I am. And tell him of how he doesn't need me or anyone, I don't deserve him, and whatever else you can come up with. Just leave me the hell alone!" He shouts, standing up and wiping his tears away.
"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on-"
"JUST FUCK OFF! I don't care what you think, I don't give a fuck if you want to pretend to care about me, all I want is for you to just leave me fucking alone!"
She's slightly shocked by his outburst, and language. None the less she leaves him be, she didn't know why he was crying, but she knew that kind of crying, the kind where your so out of control you can't breathe, you can't see, you cling to whatever you can trying to find reality again. No one who doesn't have a broken heart would cry like, and no one has a broken heart after a break up like that. Whatever it was she was getting to the bottom of it.
Comments
Why would you make me cry like this?! i'm sorry this is awesome! You actualy made me wanna kick and hug Blaine, keep writing because i need to know what happens NOW! haha sorry i'm a little emotional :)
YAY!! I'M GLAD IT MADE YOU CRY! Yes that sounds awful, but I was really wanting that kind of response! You will find out soon, I will definitely keep writing, and I was hoping most people would want to kick the crap out of Blaine, but also just hold him and hit him till he told Kurt. Anyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I AM HONESTLY ECSTATIC THAT YOU ENJOYED IT!! I swear next chapter will be up soon!