Oct. 27, 2012, 6:31 p.m.
Not Another Facebook Fic: Relationships part 1
T - Words: 947 - Last Updated: Oct 27, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 22/? - Created: Oct 27, 2012 - Updated: Oct 27, 2012 446 0 0 0 0
Nick Warbler changed his name to Niff Warbler.
!
Jeff Warbler changed his name to Jeck Warbler.
!
Sebastian Smythe changed his name to Warren Rhodes.
!
Joel Richardson is in a relationship with Warren Rhodes
~10 people like this
Finn Hudson: I thought you hated him.
Joel Richardson: Yeah, well, we made up, so long as someone actually goes to therapy and gets himself checked.
Warren Rhodes: I'll do anything to be with you again, Joely.
Joel Richardson: <3
Niff Warbler: I feel like throwing up.
Joel Richardson: Do I need to give you another black eye, Nick?
Jeck Warbler: Don't you hurt my Nicky!
Blaine Anderson: Haven't we seen enough people getting into fights on Facebook?
Jeck Warbler: No…
Kurt Hummel: I told you being on this site will lead to bad things.
~Blaine Anderson likes this.
Warren Rhodes: Then why are you still on it?
Kurt Hummel: Because everyone else is.
Warren Rhodes: Never took you for the type to succumb to peer pressure, Kurt.
Kurt Hummel: Quiet, Sebastian. I don't think I'll ever be able to call you by your real name.
Blaine Anderson: Please don't provoke him, Kurt.
Brittany S. Pierce: Is Joely a unicorn too?
Joel Richardson: What?
Kurt Hummel: Yes, Britt, he is. Pay no attention to her, Joel.
!
Principal Figgins has created a Facebook.
~Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, Quinn Fabray, Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce, Noah Puckerman, Artie Abrams, Mike Chang, Tina Cohen-Chang, Mercedes Jones, Sam Evans, Joel Richardson, Dean Easton, Warren Rhodes, and everyone else on Facebook dislike this.
Principal Figgins: Now, children, I'm just here to make sure you don't say anything naughty.
Sue Sylvester: For God's sake, Figgins, don't you have anything better to do than watch a bunch of kids conversing on the Internet?
Rachel Berry: Maybe someone can find where the sign-up sheet for the Nationals solos went?
Sue Sylvester: I took it down and shredded it.
~Jesse St. James likes this.
Will Schuester: Sue…
Sue Sylvester: Will…
Mercedes Jones: Rachel Berry, you skinny Garanimal-wearing ass kisser, I am NOT letting you ruin our Nationals chances again.
Santana Lopez: Seconded.
Principal Figgins: Miss Jones, language…
Mercedes Jones: Sorry, but it's true.
Joel Richardson: Didn't they kiss onstage for like 10 minutes?
Sam Evans: Yep, and Santana was ready to kill them when we got back to the hotel.
Santana Lopez: And if you weren't holding me back, I would have.
Dean Easton: I'm sensing a certain someone who needs anger management.
Santana Lopez: Shut it.
Finn Hudson: Dude, don't cross Santana. She will hurt you.
Santana Lopez: Straight up.
Rory Flanagan: I love you, Dean.
Dean Easton: Love you too, Rory.
Niff Warbler: OMG, the amount of love is making me hurl!
Dean Easton: Listen, Niff Warbler, I don't know who the hell you are, but if you push me too far, you will end up somewhere you don't want to be. Understood?
Noah Puckerman: Hey, Irish's boyfriend is turning into Joel.
Joel Richardson: Cool; someone who's like me. Dean Easton, we should hang out.
Dean Easton: Yeah, we should. I've been hearing these things about your boyfriend, are they true?
Joel Richardson: What kind of things? *glares at everyone*
Warren Rhodes: They're all lies!
Dean Easton: Didn't he out you at your prom or something?
Joel Richardson: Where did you hear that?
Dean Easton: *shrugs* I don't remember, some gossip floating around McKinley.
Warren Rhodes: We're past that.
Joel Richardson: I thought we said we'd never talk about it.
!
A week later…
Joel Richardson is engaged to Warren Rhodes
~Everyone on Facebook is like OMG!
Rachel Berry: That's great, especially since Joel, you've been so moody recently.
Joel Richardson: That's a lie, Rachel, and you know it.
Finn Hudson: She's right, dude. You've been pissed off at everyone.
Kurt Hummel: I second that motion.
Blaine Anderson: Third.
Mike Chang: Fourth.
Santana Lopez: Fifth.
Noah Puckerman: Sixth.
Joel Richardson: Curse you all.
Warren Rhodes: I love you, Joely.
Joel Richardson: I love you, Warren, baby.
Warren Rhodes: You know what we're doing tonight…
Jeck Warbler: TMI!
Warren Rhodes: Jeff, don't make me come over there. I can hear you and Nick making cuddling sounds, even if you're pretending not to.
Niff Warbler: Come at us, bro!
Warren Rhodes: Will do.
~Warren Rhodes has logged off
!
Rachel Berry: I love my Finny Bear!
~Finn Hudson likes this.
Santana Lopez: Those two make my mouth taste like throw-up.
Mercedes Jones: This is probably the only time I'll ever agree with you, but I agree with you.
~Sam Evans and Noah Puckerman like this.
Rachel Berry: You're all jealous of us.
Kurt Hummel: More like nauseated.
Blaine Anderson: Kurtie, what about our pet names?
Kurt Hummel: Yeah, Blainers, don't call me that on here.
Sam Evans: Cool, now we got ammo to use against them.
Kurt Hummel: Sam, if you ever call me Kurtie, I will destroy your Justin Bieber shrine.
Sam Evans: *sobs*
Blaine Anderson: Kurt, don't threaten people.
Kurt Hummel: Love you, Blaine.
Artie Abrams: What's with the pet names, yo?
Tina Cohen-Chang: Yeah, Artie, remember the one I used with you?
Artie Abrams: Tina, don't you dare.
Quinn Fabray: Tell us, Tina. Let Artie feel embarrassed.
Tina Cohen-Chang: Artie, you were my Roller Baby.
~30 people like this.
Artie Abrams: Oh God. *hides in a hole*
Mike Chang: What about me?
Tina Cohen-Chang: You're my Situasian.
Kurt Hummel: Ugh, Jersey Shore references. Why hasn't that show been canceled yet?
Rachel Berry: Because there are people out there who seem to enjoy watching 20-somethings make complete asses of themselves.
Santana Lopez: For once I agree with Berry.