Hidden Feelings
conqueredheart
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Hidden Feelings: Chapter 1


E - Words: 3,141 - Last Updated: Jun 27, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 2/? - Created: Jun 14, 2012 - Updated: Jun 27, 2012
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“God, Rachel, did you really have to bring so many clothes?”

Blaine followed his older sister into their new apartment. Or should he say penthouse? Well it was called a penthouse, after all. He just didn’t exactly feel like screaming off the rooftops that he and his sister would be residing in a penthouse during their stay in New York.

The Anderberries had always been a very wealthy family. Ever since one of their ancestors had started this oil company, they were never short on money. Blaine didn’t mind not having to worry about being poor, but his family was basically a bunch of rich brats who held unnecessary dinner parties with food and drinks that cost a fortune, of which half would be thrown in the trash by the end of the night and Blaine did not enjoy that fact.

“I’m sorry, Blaine,” the brunette turned to him, a sweet smile planted on her lips. She looked gorgeous, her chocolate brown eyes matching very well with her bright yellow summer dress that fitted perfectly around her skinny figure.

“I’m sorry that you don’t understand that I need to look good at all times,” She continued, making her way through the apartment.

Blaine rolled his eyes, letting out a quiet laugh.

“I mean, this is New York, Blainers. We’re not in Westerville anymore. Here people will appreciate my voice,”

Blaine coughed.

Rachel turned her head, looking at her twin brother. “Our voices, of course!” She laughed, looking out of one of the many windows of the apartment.

Blaine had put up with Rachel all of his life, he knew it didn’t mean anything. Rachel had always been the one who stood in the spotlight more than he was. His parents even told him he couldn’t ever turn out to be as talented as his two-minute older sister. He knew better. Rachel didn’t share their parents opinions, though. Blaine had his own talents. He was an amazing pianist. No one had ever been more proud of him than Rachel, when he got accepted into Julliard. And he was just as proud of her, when she got accepted into NYADA.

“Here people won’t disapprove of my sexuality, they won’t even care Blaine.” Rachel went on happily, turning away from the amazing view of Central Park and she went to sit on the wing of their shiny black Baldwin piano.

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that, Rach.”

Blaine moved across the living room to sit down on the piano bench, looking up at his sister. He knows Rachel, knows she always sees the good in people, knows she wouldn’t hurt a fly, unless that would be a fly standing in the way of her musical career. His sister was very much out of the closet. She had been ever since their Junior year at Dalton. The zero-tolerance bullying policy at the private school made her feel safe enough to come out. The other Dalton students were more than happy for her, when she did. But not everyone agreed. Blaine and Rachel’s parents, for example.

Blaine knows people in New York aren’t as close-minded as his parents, or most people in Ohio, really. But he would never forgive himself if anything bad happened to his sister, because of her sexuality, because she dares to be different. Because he doesn’t have the guts to do the same. Dealing with their parents was already bad enough. The name calling, them ignoring her presence, how they wouldn’t even allow her to bring girls home.

“I know you’re ready to go out there and find yourself a cute girl but – ”

“You don’t know anything, Blaine! You don’t know what it’s like, not being able to fall in love with someone because people don’t approve!”

“I’m sorry, you’re right, I don’t.”

Blaine lied. He did know. Only no one was aware of that fact. Not even his twin sister.

Blaine was gay. He was 100% sure of that. He had kissed plenty of girls. It didn’t do anything to him. He had kissed a guy, too. Once. It was at a Dalton party, and he had gotten so drunk he ended up making out with one of his friends, Jeff. They both agreed to never mention it again. But because of that moment, Blaine knew he wasn’t attracted to girls. He was attracted to guys.

He was too afraid to come out after what had happened to Rachel, though.

 

~~~~~~

 

“Alright Lady-lips, I want to get one thing straight here,”

Kurt raised his chin, staring at his roommate. He never liked her nicknames for him very much.

“I doubt that’ll be easy, considering we’re both very much gay, but go on,” he smirked.

Rolling her eyes, Santana got up from the double sized bed in the small apartment, moving over to the couch that Kurt was currently sitting on.

The two of them had gotten to New York just a few hours ago, Kurt being glad they were finally at their new apartment. Though he had never expected to be living with Santana, he was glad that he would at least know one decent soul. Santana had gotten a lot more bearable over the four years of High School they had spent together, and Kurt liked to believe they had some kind of weird friendship going on nowadays.

Santana had left her girlfriend Brittany behind, who unfortunately didn’t graduate. Kurt wasn’t surprised, he wasn’t even sure if she would ever get out of High School, actually. Brittany’s brain was probably smaller than the one of a goldfish, or so he thought. Santana on the other hand, wanted to become an actress. Yet, she wasn’t going to college like Kurt would be. She figured she could do without and had already a bunch of auditions planned for the upcoming weeks, from commercials to actual movie auditions.

“I get to sleep on the left side of that terrible bed,” The brown-haired Latina spoke up once she made herself comfortable on the brown couch that was standing against one of the few walls in the small apartment.

They didn’t even have a bedroom, the bed was standing in their kitchen / living / sleeping area. So was their TV, couch, sofa and a small dining table with two chairs. The kitchen did have an oven, dishwasher and a cooking plate though. Their bathroom wasn’t anything special, either. Just a small area with a sink, shower and a toilet. But they couldn’t afford anything better.

Both Kurt and Santana had been saving up for New York (Santana’s part was done mostly by her mother) so they did have some money, but it wasn’t enough. Kurt would be too busy having a job next to his classes, so Santana was the only one with an income. And working at a coffee shop didn’t exactly pay the big bucks.

“You’re lucky I even let you share that bed with me.” Kurt pointed out, getting the dirt from behind his nails, not even looking at Santana.

“I bet you’ve never had a girl in your bed before, Hummel.”

Kurt looked up, meeting Santana’s mischievous smile. He opened his mouth, but couldn’t think of a snarky comment that wasn’t actually rude, so he closed his mouth again.

“You’re right.”


~~~~~~


After a few weeks, Kurt and Santana had sort of gotten used to the new living situation. Kurt wasn’t exactly fond of the fact that he had to share a bed with Santana, especially because she couldn’t seem to hold still in her sleep, but he was happy. Why wouldn’t he be? He was finally in the big city he had dreamed of living in, and not even Santana’s bad sleeping habits could ruin that for him.

The two of them had formed some sort of daily routine by now. Santana would wake up early in the morning to get to work while Kurt slept a few more hours since his classes never started before noon. Kurt would go to class for an hour or two, and when he’d get home he was the one to make dinner ready (or they’d order take-out whenever he felt lazy, which happened quite a lot) and once Santana got home from work, they would eat together, Kurt would do his homework after, and Santana just mostly watched TV or Skyped with her girlfriend before they’d go to bed.

Kurt didn’t need anything else for now. Sure, it would be nice if he had some friends other than his roommate, but he had loads of assignments to do for college so he barely had any free time left anyway.

“– Santana, I have to get to class. Tell me the story when you get home, alright?”

“But he was wearing a bowtie, Kurt! A freaking bowtie! Here I thought you were the Queen of fashion and you don’t even want to hear my story.”

Kurt rolled his eyes, walking through one of the school halls, making his way to his only class of today. Yeah, he loved fashion. There was no denying in that. He was already late for class, and some kid wearing a bowtie didn’t seem that bad.

“We’ll talk when you get home. I’m ordering pizza, see you tonight Satan.” Kurt grinned, ending the call, giving Santana no time to reply.

Luckily, his teacher was late himself so Kurt quickly made his way to the middle of the classroom, almost tripping over the stairs (those damn steps, he still had to get used to them) and found himself an empty seat.

It’s time to try, defying gravity, I think I’ll –

Kurt’s ringtone echoed throughout the classroom as he sat down. Face reddening, he quickly grabbed the device out of his bag and answered the call.

“Santana, I told you to tell me later!” He sneered, looking at his classmates in shame but they didn’t even seem to acknowledge him.

“But – ”

“Not now!” Kurt whisper-yelled, ending the call. Not a second later, his teacher walked in the classroom.

A long breath left Kurt’s lips as he sunk down in his seat, closing his eyes for just a second.

“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear your ringtone and – ”

Kurt turned his head, looking at the girl that was sitting next to him. She had long brown hair, bangs that stopped at her eyebrows and chocolate brown eyes. She was wearing a blue dress with yellow polka dots, combined with black ballerinas and white knee-high socks that made Kurt’s hands itch, wanting to throw them in the nearest trashcan, they were that bad. Completely lost in his thoughts, Kurt hadn’t noticed the girl’s lips were still moving.

“ – It is not only my go-to-shower song but my ringtone as well! I love Wicked! I love anything Broadway, really. Did you know I’ve been on that stage once? My brother and I sneaked in and the – ”

“I believe every single person in this classroom loves Broadway,” Kurt looked at the girl, cocking an eyebrow at her.

This seemed to shut the girl up for a few seconds before she extended her hand. “I’m Rachel Anderberry. I also couldn’t help but to recognize you, weren’t you in McKinley High’s Glee club? From Ohio? My school’s Glee club competed against you! Correct me if I’m wro –”

“Wow, you sure talk a lot.” Kurt interrupted. “But yes, I did go to McKinley. Please don’t tell me you were with Vocal Adrenaline.”

At that, Rachel shook her head. “I went to Dalton Academy with my twin brother. I did date Jesse St. James from Vocal Adrenaline, but that was before I came to terms with my sexuality.” She grinned proudly.

“Y – You’re gay?”

“Yep.”

Kurt smiled. Even though he wasn’t one to talk about his sexuality within the first conversation, he was who he was, and he wasn’t ashamed of it. Besides, one look at him and people usually just knew he couldn’t be straight. Rachel on the other hand? He hadn’t expected her to be a lesbian. But then again, he had thought Santana was straight for years.

“Oh – I um, that’s great!” Kurt smiled before turning to his laptop, he opened it and started paying attention to Mr. Adams who apparently had started talking.

Class went by faster than Kurt thought, and he found himself sitting at one of the lunch tables outside of the building, finishing an essay for his English class. He figured he might as well do it now, so he would have the rest of his Friday evening to himself, as well as the weekend.

“I never got your name, you know.” Kurt got pulled away from his thoughts, turning his head to see Rachel sitting next to him at the table. When did she even get here?

“It’s Kurt – My name is Kurt Hummel,” He said to her. “Do you mind? I’m kind of planning to finish this so I can have a weekend off for once.” Kurt said, looking from Rachel to the barely finished essay, a sigh leaving his lips.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to be a bother!” The brunette seemed to be a bit taken aback by the annoyance in Kurt’s voice. “I could send you my second version of that essay? I always make two version and turn in the best one. But I can assure you the second version is almost just as great! I try to be superior in everything I do, you know –”

“Why would you do that for me?”

Kurt narrowed his eyes at her, turning away from his laptop. He didn’t know why this girl suddenly seemed so interested in him. They had been having classes together for more than three weeks now, and she had never approached before. Not once.

“I was thinking maybe we could hang out instead?” She smiled, her eyes big as if she was trying to look into his soul or something. Kurt thought she was a little weird, but it was endearing, the way she tried to be his friend. He figured she didn’t really have any friends either. Maybe she came here all alone, he thought.

“Alright,” Rachel’s eyes seemed to sparkle with happiness. “On one condition, you get rid of those ridiculous knee-high socks.”


~~~~~~


Hanging out with Rachel turned out to be very... interesting. Rachel insisted on taking Kurt back to her apartment. Kurt had thought Rachel lived in NYADA’s dormitory, but instead she shared a penthouse with her brother. Calling the place huge would be an understatement.

Kurt was amazed by the architecture of the place, and Rachel explained to him how she and her brother had helped the architect in his process of designing the penthouse and whatnot. Kurt also found out that Rachel’s family was like, super rich. Rachel didn’t exactly like to brag about it but Kurt had been worried about how else she could afford a penthouse at her age.

“How come you’ve never talked to me before?” Kurt asked when Rachel closed their laptops after sharing her essay with Kurt and she moved across the kitchen to get some drinks.

“People don’t exactly like me.” Rachel simply shrugged, pouring herself a glass of orange juice as well as a glass of water for Kurt. She turned away from the kitchen counter, resting against it as she looked at Kurt who was currently sitting at the isle. “Even though Dalton has a zero-tolerance bullying policy, most people just didn’t understand me. Except for my brother and our Glee club, of course.”

“It must have been nice though, not being bullied.”

Rachel sat back down next to Kurt at the kitchen isle, putting their drinks down. “I assume you were bullied at McKinley?”

Kurt took a sip of his water before turning on his stool, facing Rachel as he crossed one leg over the other. “Being in the Glee club put me at the bottom of the social ladder, to be honest. I was shoved into lockers, slushied, called names, thrown into dumpsters, everything. All because I wasn’t one of the cool kids, and because of my sexuality.”

“I can’t imagine what that must have felt like. Our Glee club, the whole school loved us. My brother always said we were like rockstars.” Rachel said before she went on and on about all of the solos she had gotten those four years of being at Dalton. Kurt liked it, the way she was so driven to be a star. It seemed a little crazy, but at least Rachel knew exactly what she wanted.

The rest of the afternoon was spent on the couch, the two of them watching a DVD of Wicked that Rachel insisted on watching. Kurt didn’t beg to differ.

On his way back home, Kurt texted Santana, telling her to order them pizza and that he was almost there. Rachel’s apartment was surprisingly enough not that far from his own apartment and it took him about fifteen minutes until he slid his keys in the door of his apartment and walked inside.

“Kurt, is that you?” Santana’s voice came from the kitchen.

“Who else would I be, Mrs. Summers from down the hallway?” Kurt said as he took off his trenchcoat and put it down on the back of their sofa. They really needed to get some sort of rack for their coats.

“Shut it, Hummel.”

“So what was so important about the bowtie boy that couldn’t wait?” Kurt asked once he sat down on their couch, pizza box on his lap.

“Oh, right. Well, I accidentally spilled the hobbit’s coffee order all over him,”

Kurt raised at his eyebrows. “Hobbit?”

“Yeah he’s really short, but anyhow, I apologized and got him a towel as well as a new cup of coffee and then I ended up sitting with him during my lunch break and I got his number –”

“Hold up, hold up! You’re not crawling back in the closet are you? You still have Brittany, despite the long distance but you can’t just –”

“I am not crawling back in the closet, Porcelain. I like vagina just fine. Am I not allowed to make guy friends?”

Kurt scrunched his face at the mention of lady parts, putting his pizza down for a moment.

“So you befriended the bowtie hobbit? How kind of you, Satan. I guess you do have some humanity inside of you!” Kurt joked, getting a dirty look from the Latina.

“Anyway, his name is Blaine, and apparently he goes to Julliard and is an amazing pianist. He’s kind of the gentleman, really. He said it was his fault when I spilled the coffee all over him, when it was obvious to the whole shop that it was completely me.” Santana was eating her pizza as she was talking, which completely grossed Kurt out, but he decided not to say anything for his own sake. “I just – I guess I’m just glad that I’m finally befriending people other than you. I like you just fine, Kurt, but you can be really gay sometimes.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Kurt smiled before he started to tell his own stories of that day and how he had met Rachel.

End Notes: So this chapter is basically just a warming up for the rest of the story! Blaine and Kurt will meet in the next chapter!

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Hey I love this! Please update soon!

Please update. Please? UPDATE! I've been living too long without a new chapter. enough is enough. So, please update? :)

when are you updating?