I'm The Only One In Love [6]

There was a light, rhythmic ticking of Kurt's alarm clock that broke the silence of his room. Kurt stared at it as it struck its third hour, breathing lightly as he watched it continue to tick. It was crazy the way it worked. The way Kurt was lying still and numb on his bed, barely twitching while the world continue to move.

Kurt's body was filled with an ache that wouldn't disappear. The numbness was the type that needed to be released or else it'd get stuck - weighing heavier on Kurt's lungs with each passing minute. Yet, Kurt couldn't cry anymore. He hadn't known how long he had cried behind the wheel of his car, but when he had composed himself to finally drive out of the parking lot, he went home, lied in bed and sleep through the rest of the night until he finally awoke at 12 am and wasn't able to fall back asleep.

Kurt blinked away his fatigue, turning gently in bed and pulling the sheets over his head. He didn't know how he had managed to become heartbroken over a boy that was never his, but alas.

It hurt in an unconventional way. Not because it was just a crush that Kurt couldn't have, but because it was Blaine. Blaine who knew all of Kurt's secrets and insecurities and desires. There was no way to claim that he didn't; there had been many nights where Kurt would turn to him when he felt panic or loneliness and would have to talk it out with the boy.

And after finally discovering and fully knowing every single mental detail in Kurt's disaster of a mind, he... ran.

Kurt gripped onto the pillow that was beside of him and pushed it against his mouth before letting out a muffled wail. His voice broke off near the end into a sloppy sob as he tried to release the pain that was clutching on his body, yet the tears that was watering in his eyes barely slipped out. He felt betrayed. Like he had given so much to a dream just to have it all ripped away from him. How could he be so stupid ?

Kurt lied with the pillow on his face until his breathing evened out. When he pulled it down, it was only to hold it tightly in his arms - somehow supporting himself with it. Before Kurt knew it, the sun was rising between the cracks of his curtains. He stood before he was due to, turning off his alarm he had set before making his way to the bathroom. His hands shook before he placed them on each side of the sink, steadying himself before he looked at himself in the mirror.

There was silence as he just stared. With a deep breath he spoke, a little quick but enough for himself to hear, and that was all that mattered. “We're okay.”

It was true. Yes, he was hurting. He was angry and confused, but he was okay. He'd learn how to get through this just like so many things he had gotten through before. One heartbreak wouldn't stop him.

Kurt continued to repeat the thought in his head as he readied himself - opening the curtains to let the sunlight in, beginning the brew to his coffee so it'd be ready by the time he was, allowing the aroma fill the house. There were moments in the process where his mind would race back to the overwhelming images and destructive thoughts, but instead of letting it stop him, Kurt simply turned on his music to distract himself, focusing on lyrics rather than the ache. Like this, he'd get through the day, and the week, and eventually the month. Like this, he'd get over Blaine.

Despite waking earlier, Kurt still decided to stay home a little later to eat breakfast and finish homework he had forgotten. He had more time now that he could drive straight to school instead of needing to stop for coffee. It's better this way anyway, just in case. He didn't want to run into Blaine. He wasn't ready for that.

Kurt finished his bagel as he checked his watch, standing and cleaning off the sesame seeds from the table he was eating at. He was tired, but he was okay. Everything was okay.

After pouring himself another cup of coffee in his travel mug and grabbing a banana, he quickly made his way towards the door, pulling the strap of his bag over his head and opening his front door. Then, everything froze.

Kurt inhaled sharply when he saw on the opposite side of his threshold stood Blaine, raising a hand to knock at the door with the same shocked look on Kurt's face. The air was still around them. Kurt could feel his heart thumping in his chest, each passing moment making it harder for Kurt to breath until finally the clank of Kurt's mug falling to the floor snapped them both out of their eyelock.

Blaine looked between Kurt and the mug before bending down to pick it up, wincing when steaming coffee spilt on the back of his hand. He held it out for Kurt awkwardly, unsure if the gesture would somehow offend Kurt or not, but Kurt simply stared at Blaine, his eyes glazed over with tears, though, not of hurt, but instead rage.

“What are you doing here?” he asked between gritted teeth, not breaking eye contact.

Blaine paused before stuttering, looking away from Kurt. He could tell Blaine was nervous, seeing the heat rise on his cheeks as he tried to think of something to say, but Kurt didn't care. Blaine had no right to just show up here after what he done. When Blaine finally answered, it was in a cowardly whisper as he took a small step back, yet bravely brought his eyes up to Kurt's gaze. “I didn't think you'd be here.”

“You didn't think I'd be here , in my own house?”

“Well, you usually leave earlier, I just thought... I don't know-”

“Leave.” Kurt commanded, his hand gripping the side of the door as he prepared to close it, but Blaine was quick to stop him from doing so.

“No, please wait.” he spoke, quickly regaining the strength to speak louder. “I know, I fucked up, okay? I wasn't planning on seeing you because I figured you'd need time, but I wanted you to know what happened.” Blaine defended himself, flashing an envelope that Kurt could only assume contained an explanation. “I was going to ask Finn to give it to you.”

Kurt stood, simply staring at Blaine. It was silent between them, the tension high despite the joyous chirping of the birds in the background and the sun shining brightly. Blaine cleared his throat as he realized his written out apology meant nothing now that he was standing here in front of Kurt, and he prepared himself, adjusting his weight onto one foot and then the other.

“Can I... come in?” he asked, looking around and subconsciously crossing his arms in front of him to calm his nerves.

“No.”

“...Okay. I understand why you're upset-”

“Do you?” Kurt questioned a little too harshly, a little too quickly. He could hear the rise in his voice which ultimately resulted in the rise in his chest as he tried to fight off the stinging that was bubbling up inside of him. He couldn't believe this was happening. Couldn't believe he had to go through this.

Kurt bit his lip roughly and turned his head away from Blaine as he tried to hold back tears that were trying to come, squeezing his eyes shut but to no avail. He raised his hand to his mouth to quiet the trembling sigh that was released when his tears finally fell, hating himself for not being able to hold it together. This wasn't fair .

“Kurt...” Blaine spoke gently, He could hear Blaine take a step forward, and Kurt instantly did the opposite, holding out his hand to stop Blaine from trying to comfort him.

“Don't... don't do that. You weren't there.” Kurt reminded, wiping away the tears from his face.

“I know. I'm sorry.”

“You're sorry...” Kurt scoffed with a roll of his eyes as Blaine stood a bit taller, keeping eye contact with Kurt.

“Yes. You have no idea how sorry I am for treating you the way I did. You never deserved that. I just... I was there. I came to talk to you, but I didn't walk in. I saw your face and I just... couldn't . I was so scared because I never want to hurt you, but it's so hard not to. I keep making dumb decisions and you stick by me even when I make you cry, and I was terrified of hurting you again. But I just made everything worse. I know it's not an excuse but it's true. And I don't expect you to forgive me, but please believe that I am so sorry, Kurt. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

There was another silence as Kurt tried to process everything Blaine was telling him and to also recollect himself. It was hard to listen to Blaine. It was harder to look at him and not scream, but Kurt knew that doing that wouldn't help either one of them. So he did what he knew he should: searched for answers he needed to hear despite how much he knew it would hurt him even more.

“You kissed me.” he stated suddenly. Blaine's nervous demeanor returned once again, but he continued to keep Kurt's gaze, swallowing hard.

“I know.”

“...And?” Kurt pressed on.

Despite how hard Blaine tried to remain composed, a sense of pain washed over his face. “What do you want me to say, Kurt?” he spoke in a hushed tone again, a tone of defeat hidden beneath it.

“The truth.” Kurt answered. Blaine hesitated, opening and closing his mouth as he tried to find the words but they just wouldn't come. Kurt wiped his hands over his face, brushing away more tears as he let out a low groan before closing his eyes. “Please... just say it.”

When Kurt reopened his eyes, Blaine's eyes were just as red as Kurt could assume his were. Blaine blinked a few times in order to stop himself, but his tears decided to fall either way. “It was a mistake.” Blaine forced out. “I knew how much it meant to you. I knew how you felt about your first kiss, and I stole it from you anyway. I was selfish, and I'm sorry. But you're my best friend, Kurt. I can't... we can't-”

“Stop.” Kurt interrupted. Blaine watched as Kurt's brows furrowed and he lowered his head. Kurt knew there was so much more Blaine wanted to say, but he couldn't listen to apologies anymore. He couldn't listen to Blaine's guilt and regret. It was obvious in his face. It was just too hard.

Blaine brought a hand up to his eyes, brushing under them before nodding and biting on his lip. The sound of Kurt's coffee mug being sat down beside him was all that Kurt heard before there was a hesitation and then footsteps walking away. When Kurt looked back up, Blaine's car was out of his driveway.

The birds continued chirping. The sun continued shining.

First, there were flowers. Different colors, different arrangements, but they were there every day. They came before Kurt would come home from school, Burt usually being the one to collect them from the delivery man and place them on Kurt's desk or nightstand or vanity, wherever he could put the assorted bouquets and their tiny cards that Kurt never read. Their aroma filled Kurt's room, and then overtime the entire upstairs with fresh, crisp fragrances. It was all too much. Eventually, Kurt was forced to ask Burt to simply stop accepting them - avoiding any type of discussion his father tried to have on the matter. This went on for a week. 

Then. there were gifts. ‘I'm Sorry' cards, teddy bears, chocolates. These were received sporadically, in his mailbox or at his locker. Sometimes even in his classrooms. They were all very simple and tasteful gifts - things that Kurt would usually like. Nothing too fancy, nothing too cheesy. The cards were recycled. The bears were donated. Finn ate the chocolates.

When a letter had arrived with Kurt's name in elegant, blue handwriting, Kurt was numb to the routine. The envelope was stored away, out of sight and out of mind. He was prepared to store them all away without a second thought, ready to recycle them as well if they became too excessive, but they never did. There was only the one.

Then, there was silence. No flowers, no gifts, no letters.

It was refreshing, at first. Relieving to Kurt. He could finally have some space away from the person who had hurt him. Move on from the situation. But it was also confusing. And Kurt couldn't believe it, but somehow, it was also disappointing.

The amount of things that showed Blaine trying to be apart of Kurt's life dwindled, and suddenly it was something that Kurt realized he wasn't ready for. When the flowers died around him on his desk and nightstand and vanity days after the last letter had arrived, Kurt felt something. He felt it when one by one he removed the flowers and threw them into the trash, and he couldn't help but wonder why he had allowed them to stay in his room in the first place. To surround him like presence; slowly and quietly smothering him with nostalgia.

It was a random evening where Kurt had been shuffling through his drawers in attempt to find an old essay he needed to reference that he had picked up the envelope again. At first, it was to simply to move it out of the way while he continued his dig, but after a double take, he picked it up again, his thumb gently rubbing over the letters in his name.

Before he knew it, he was tearing open the top, peeking inside as he there was possibility of there being anything other than the piece of lined paper that was folded in there. Kurt took a breath. He tucked the envelope back under a stack of papers before continuing to move on to other things.

A day later when Kurt had started to find tiny pieces of Blaine around his room, the urge to read his letter became stronger. While Kurt was looking for a pair of sweats to change into before rehearsal, Blaine was there - the pajama set he left at Kurt's whenever he wanted to sleep over sitting neatly next to Kurt's sweatpants. As Kurt went to distract himself with whatever movie that was on, Blaine was there with the funny and interesting commentary that was etched into Kurt's mind from the last time they had watched the movie together. Everywhere Kurt looked, Blaine was there somehow, someway.

It was beginning to become late when Kurt finally picked up the letter in his hands again. He should've been asleep. He should've just thrown it away and tried to fight off these dumb feelings. But he was curious.

With a huff, Kurt opened the envelope once again and pulled out the letter, unfolding it before he could stop himself. Something in him wanted to put the paper back down and walk away, but as he glanced over the words, his curiosity struck him deeper. It was short. Surprisingly short; half a page in length when Kurt had expected thousands upon thousands of words of apology and pain. Okay, not thousands , but at least a full page.

Kurt sat on his bed with his legs folded in front of him, biting his lip as he prepared to read whatever Blaine had wrote him.

“Kurt,

I understand why you're ignoring me. I know you need your space. I couldn't allow you to leave without trying... I don't know how to do this.

I'm not good at saying how I feel or explaining things, but I figured if this is my last shot - if you ever read this - I want to express to you everything I could never say. I'm so sorry, Kurt. I'll understand if you just want us to be apart and if that's easier for you. But you always have and always will be such an important part of my life, and I wish I never messed things up. I wish I was never so selfish, and I wish I could follow my own words and have the courage to tell you this in person.

I never wanted to hurt you in anyway. I never wanted to disappoint you. I just needed you to know. I'm always here if you need me.

Yours,

Blaine”

That was it.

Kurt reread the message, then reread it again, hoping he had missed something but the words stayed the same. It couldn't be... Blaine had said it himself: if this was his last chance he wanted to express everything . This wasn't everything; it expressed nothing.

Kurt continued to chew at his lip in thought, begging his mind to figure out what was missing. He had to know...

Without a second thought, Kurt was slipping his feet into his slippers and quietly making his way downstairs, careful not to disturb the house. He walked towards the small table near the front door that held the family's mail and flipped over junk and bills - searching through all of it. When he found nothing, Kurt then searched around the area just in case something may have fallen, but it was to no avail..

Unsatisfied, Kurt moved to the next best place: their mailbox. He quietly opened the creaking wooden door and slipped out, walking a few paces before opening the white box with the number of their address painted onto it. Even with the lights around him illuminating the streets, Kurt still struggled to see. He squinted and leaned further, but he could barely make out if something was in there or if he just wanted there to be. Finally, he sunk his hand into the box, moving it around until his fingers clashed with something Kurt could grab.

Kurt pulled it out, feeling the thick rectangular shape in his hands, and quickly realized what it was. As he walked back into the house, he tapped it against his other hand, closing the door behind him and leaning his back against it as he got a good look at what he was holding: a cd case.

On the front were rose petals - red and yellow, furrowed and pressed up against the cover. Kurt ignored the symbolism behind the colors as he turned the case to the back, seeing thirteen songs written in the same gentle handwriting as the letter, but in red pen against faded white paper, his initials stained at the bottom. Kurt read each song of quietly, feeling a sting the further he read:

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

Fly Me to the Moon - Frank Sinatra

Say - John Mayer

She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

For Good - Wicked

The Scientist - Coldplay

Breathe Me - Sia

Creep - Radiohead

X&Y - Coldplay

Don't Speak - No Doubt

It's Too Late - Carole King

Against All Odds - Phil Collins

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane

When Kurt silently tiptoed into his room once again, he could barely fight himself from curling up into his bed, popping the cd into his computer and allowing it to play. He knew he was softly torturing himself, he knew he was tired of being hurt by someone he cared about so much, but afterall it was  someone Kurt cared about. Incredibly so.

So, Kurt listened to each song and took in each lyric. Memories flushed out the resentment he was holding onto. Happy memories. Amazing  memories that Kurt didn't want to let go of, and as he neared the end of the playlist, nostalgia reminded him that he promised he never would.

The music stopped playing in Kurt's room, leaving only the soft whirring of the fan in his computer and Kurt's staggering breaths as he held his eyes closed in attempt to keep the tears welling in his eyes from following suite of the one that had started to roll down his cheek. He slowly wiped it away as he calmed himself, before going to his phone and playing with it in his hands for a bit.

Minutes ticked by. Suddenly, Kurt unlocked the phone and dialed the number, pressing it to his ear before he could regret it. One ring. Two. Three. Four. Five... please just pick up.

“You have reached the voice mailbox of-”

Kurt hung up the phone with a frustrated groan, throwing his phone to the other side of the bed before slapping his hands against his face. This was so stupid. It was so late, of course he wasn't going to answer. Especially if he was expecting Kurt to never talk to him again-

Kurt slowly lifted his head from his hands as he felt vibrations on his bed, the screen of his phone lighting up only a few seconds after Kurt had threw it. Kurt reached for the phone, reading the screen name incredulously before answering and pressing the phone to his ear once again.

“Hello? Kurt?”

There is was: Blaine's voice. A bit deeper, a bit out of breath, but him nonetheless. The voice behind the words. Behind the songs, and the flowers, and the cards and everything. His Blaine. His .

“...Kurt? Are you there?”

Kurt let out a soft shaky sigh before speaking, his back against his headboard as he rested his chin on his knees and closed his eyes. “I'm here.”

“...Okay.” Blaine responded in the same tone Kurt had, a calming sound of relief hidden in his voice. There was a pause between them, Blaine waiting for Kurt to say something - for he had been the one to call - and Kurt figuring out what to say.

Kurt swallowed harshly as he scrunched his eyebrows together before speaking again, “Can I confess something?”

“Of course.” Blaine answered, a bit taken aback.

“Remember when you told all of us that you were going to sing to someone special on Valentine's Day? When you asked us to help you...?” Kurt waited for Blaine's hum of assurance before continuing, mustering the courage to talk. “I thought that person was going to be me... I've wanted us to be together for such a long time. I... I don't regret our kiss. Even if you think it was a mistake. That moment... was something that I've always wanted. It was a kiss that meant something to me and you didn't take away anything I wasn't already willing to give to you, so...”

There was silence between the two as Kurt could only imagine Blaine was taking everything in. Kurt's heart raced as he waited for a reaction, his grip tightening on his phone before he selfishly decided he couldn't wait any longer. “Please say something.”

“I...” Blaine started, before cutting himself off, a tiny surprised chuckled coming out for a second before he spoke again. “I wish it was,”

“What?”

“I wish that song was for you.” Blaine explained quietly.

Kurt shifted on his bed as the wheels in his brain spun a thousand miles per hour trying to comprehend what Blaine had told him, trying his best not to become comfortable in any conclusions he could think of. He knew where that could lead him. “What do you mean?” he decided to ask, thinking it better to get the words from Blaine's mouth than to assume.

“Kurt...” Blaine spoke, calling Kurt's name in the same stirring way he always had. “I don't know how to be anyone's boyfriend. I barely know how to be good to myself. I pretend I do but I don't. And after everything between us... I really don't want to screw this up.”

Kurt allowed the words to settle once again, but unlike the truth told from Blaine the day he showed up at Kurt's home, this was easy to swallow. It still hurt - God, it hurt like hell - but Kurt knew he could manage it. He knew eventually he'd forgive Blaine, whether he wanted to or not. It was easier to allow himself to simply give in than to fight it another day. He missed his best friend.

“Im sorry,” Blaine spoke suddenly, taking Kurt's silence as a negative sign, which Kurt easily corrected.

“Its okay. I understand. I cant force you to do anything, and I wouldnt want to. Its not fair for me to stay angry.” He admitted.

There was another calming silence between the two as Kurt listened to Blaine softly sigh in relief, a tiny smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “So, what do we do now?” Blaine asked, a question Kurt hadnt even thought about.

“I dont know…”

“Do you…” Blaine hesitated before falling silent again.

“What?” Kurt encouraged before he heard a muffled scoff of Blaine, and then his voice again.

“I missed you…”

Kurt bit into his lip as the same fluttering he had felt what seemed like forever ago returned as soon as Blaine spoke the words Kurt had been thinking. “You cant say things like that…” Kurt said softly, a light chuckle from Blaines side that only made Kurt feel lighter.

“Okay, Im sorry.” He responded, smiling into the phone. “Is there anything else off limits?”

“Ill let you know when they happen.” Kurt answered, not stopping himself from smiling back. “Goodnight, Blaine.”

“Wait, Kurt. Thank you… For understanding.”

“Of course. Just…” Kurt started, a huff escaping as he rolled his eyes at what he was about to say. “Just dont break my heart again, okay?”

“...Okay.” Blaine breathed, the sadness in his voice echoing the pain he could only assume Kurt had gone through. He took a deep breath before speaking again, determined to make sure Kurt knew he meant what he was saying and that he was willing to prove that. “Ill never do that again, Kurt. I promise.”

It was strange to see Blaine again after the situation they had been through. From the outside, everything seemed normal: Kurt sitting in Blaines room as he supported his friend and helped him clean up the possessions of his ex boyfriend lying around. There was witty banter, random trivia on the newest celeb gossip, but between them, there was obviously something off.

Blaine has been walking on eggshells ever since he had let Kurt through the door, and Kurt hadnt been able to keep eye contact for more than three seconds. Not to mention, there were times where they both would just remember . It would be when Kurt would subconsciously lick the pink smoothie mustache from his upper lip casually that he would see Blaines cheeks burn bright pink, his eyes staring hard at his own drink until Kurt would speak up with a distraction even though he was sure his face was blushing too. For Kurt, it was when Blaine had rubbed his tube of Chapstick ever so slowly across his lips, causing Kurt to curl his own bottom lip into his mouth until he realized he had been staring a little too long, and that Blaine was well aware of it. They hadnt touched the entire time Kurt was over, somehow silently agreeing to be at least three feet away from each other. 

Even the moments where they werent speaking were uncomfortable, so much so that Blaine had offered to put on a record when they had ran out of things to talk about, and Kurt jumped at the idea.

So, they worked around each other, throwing out anything that reminded Blaine of Jeremiah into a box to give back to the ex. Blaine had tossed in the last notebook he had with a sigh before finally speaking after an hour of just music playing. “I think thats everything.” He said, catching Kurt's attention from across the room as he stared down at the box on his bed.

“Yeah?” Kurt hummed, making his way over to Blaine as he nodded sadly. He watched Blaines fingers slide across the cardboard for a moment before he hesitantly folded the sides in with a sigh, fully closing it.

Kurts expression began to match the boy's next to him as another conversation fell; the atmosphere not being as awkward, but instead focusing on Blaine. His eyes closed as he kept his hand on the top of the box, holding is closed and not seeming to want to let go.

The pain on Blaines face was obvious - having the last couple of months all piled away into one place had to hurt. Kurt wasnt even sure if Blaine had gotten closure.

A touch of guilt bit him as he imagined what Blaine mustve gone through the last few days, having lost his boyfriend and best friend at almost the same time. It left a sour taste in his mouth as he thought about the amount of tears shed in that very bed. The amount of days where Blaine was just as heartbroken as Kurt, if not more. The thought that Blaine had probably felt that he would have to pack up Kurts stuff as well, no closure, no proper goodbye.

Without a second thought, Kurt slowly walked fully up to Blaine and wrapped his arms around him, pulling his back close to Kurts chest as Kurt rested his forehead against Blaines shoulder. Blaine tenses and then melted into Kurts arms in a matter of seconds, placing his hands a top of where Kurt's were holding his waist tightly, forcing Blaine to smile. “Whats this for?” He questioned with a chuckle, only making Kurt pull him back tighter with a hum.

“It seemed like you needed one.” Kurt answered.

Blaine let out a coo of appreciation before turning in Kurt's arms in order to hug properly, reveling in Kurts embrace. “I did.” He mumbled against Kurts collar, closing his eyes once again.

They stayed like that until Blaine was ready to pull away - which happened to be quite a while later - before Blaine turned back to the box, patting it gently before lifting it and preparing to take it downstairs, Kurt following. “Blaine, I think you may be acting too delicate.” Kurt spoke up as they walked.

“What do you mean?” Blaine asked, momentarily glancing over his shoulder at Kurt, pausing at the end of the stairs.

“What Jeremiah did to you was really  horrible. Hes horrible! Dont you want to get even or something? Get angry…?”

“Getting even isnt exactly my style, Kurt.” Blaine laughed as he hoisted the box higher in his arms when it began to sink before walking towards the door, waiting for Kurt to open it for him so he could place the box into the trunk of his car.

“Well now's your chance to try something new.” Kurt insisted. “I just dont understand how youre going to get closure like this. We should be slashing his tires or… Egging his house. He doesnt deserve this stuff back.”

Blaine let out a small laugh at Kurts argument before he spoke, “Kurt, I really appreciate your concern, honestly. But I dont care to do that. I really just want all of this stuff out of my life once and for all.”

Kurt sighed as his bit his lip, wanting to protest, but not being able to when his only duty was to support Blaine, not to encourage mayhem because of his own personal dislike for the douchebag. Blaine gave a knowing look to Kurt that had him letting out an exasperated huff before simply opening the door fro Blaine, Blaine letting out a quiet, sing-song “Thank you” as he moved to his car in the driveway.

“If you just wanted to get rid of it, we could've just burned it all.” Kurt suggested with a roll of his eyes as he followed Blaine to his car, unlocking and opening the trunk for Blaine to slide the box in, his eyebrows furrowing when Blaine didn't. “Blaine?” Kurt hummed, looking over at where he was standing, looking down at the box once again in deep thought before looking back up at Kurt, a glint of interest in his eyes.

“S'mores?”

Kurt's confused expression quickly turned into one of shock as he realized Blaine was agreeing to what Kurt was saying. He scoffed softly before laughing out an “Absolutely,” and closing Blaine's trunk, the two boys exchanging a quick high five before making their way back into Blaine's home and towards the backyard.

It wasn't until a few hours after the sun had set that Kurt had realized the normality that had found it's way back into his and Blaine's relationship over the blaze of the fire pit. There was natural laughter about Blaine's mess of a s'mores creation and soft “kumbaya” singing as they both burned things that reminded Blaine of Jeremiah. Small gifts and trinkets, flowers, photos, and an abundance of song lyrics and poems that even made Kurt blush with second-hand embarrassment.

“God, listen to this,” Blaine groaned as Kurt turned his attention from his s'more to the boy, licking melted chocolate off of his fingers. “The first time we met, the first words we shared, the first fight we had, every moment, you were never really there...” Blaine rolled his eyes at himself as he tossed more piles of paper into the fire, watching it spark up before dimming, the adjusting the burning papers with the fire iron.

“It was poetic.” Kurt tried, only making Blaine laugh.

“It was awful, and you know it.”

Kurt simply laughed back as he stood from his spot next to Blaine on the outdoor loveseat, walking to the almost empty box and pulling out an Ohio State sweater, grimacing. “Oh, this definitely has to go.” Kurt gagged, tauntingly shaking the fabric in front of Blaine before making his way to the flames.

“Hold on just a second.” Blaine quickly spoke up, standing and holding out his hands for Kurt to toss to him. “It's a good sweater, you can't just burn it without a proper goodbye.” He added before Kurt threw it, the sweater plopping on Blaine's face as Kurt laughed.

“Of course you would think that. You're one sport away from being a frat boy.” He teased, crossing his his arms as Blaine pulled it off with a slight pout that only made Kurt laugh again.

“Rude.” he snarked back before forming a smile as well, shaking out the pullover until he was holding it out in front of him. Blaine gave the gray sweater a curious glance for a moment before pulling the collar close to his face again, inhaling through his nose, and then, suddenly, a trembling exhale through his mouth. Kurt's smile quickly dropped at the reaction, quickly realizing between the dancing shadows the fire was casting on Blaine's face that there was dropping down from his eyelashes to his cheek, then rolling slowly as he stared at the sweater intensely.

“I didn't... realize it would still smell like-” Blaine cut himself off as he brought a hand over his mouth, his eyes shutting and his face beginning to crumble. Kurt quickly made his way over to Blaine, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he sat them both back down on the loveseat, pulling him in for a tight embrace.

And then Blaine cried. He wept into Kurt's chest as he clutched the sweater close to his chest, his senses overwhelmed - smothered in his own nostalgia.

When Kurt awoke the next day, it was to a very bright sun in the sky and a slight kink in his neck. He squinted before covering his eyes with his hand and grumpily attempting to adjust to the light. After a moment, he began to sit up from where he was lying on the couch, noticing his surroundings. He was still outside, the fire had died, there was a blanket covering him, and Blaine was missing.

As if on cue, Kurt turned his head when he heard the sound of the back door sliding open and closed, a very awake Blaine bouncing towards Kurt with a tray in his hands.

“Good morning.” he sung, lying the tray down next to Kurt and revealing the display off food on it, Kurt simply grunting in response, rubbing his hand through his hair and sitting up fully, pulling the blanket tighter around him.

“I feel like I just went camping.” he groaned, before smiling softly at the smell of waffles and coffee, watching Blaine take one of the mugs off of the tray and sit close next to him, cupping it with two hands.

“I love camping.” Blaine smiled before bringing the cup to his lips and humming at the taste, making Kurt smile brighter at both the action and the tangent Blaine had blurted out for absolutely no reason.

“You would.” Kurt teased slowly, picking up a piece of bacon with his bacon and chewing off a piece of it. Blaine simply shrugged and continued to drink his coffee, looking out at the garden as Kurt began to slice and eat his waffles. He raised his head towards Blaine to speak before stopping himself when he saw the red, blockey ‘Ohio' letters on Blaine's chest, then turning his attention back to his food.

There was peaceful silence between them before Blaine sighed a few minutes later, stretching his arms out above his head and yawning softly. “It's a good sweater.” he spoke suddenly, his attention never leaving from the view around him. Kurt paused in the middle of cutting, letting the words sit. “Too good to burn.”

“Okay.” Kurt replied with a nod. “And I'll support anything you choose to do. I just don't think keeping it is going to help you move on.” he continued softly but honestly, Blaine finally facing him.

“I know. I just want to wear it one last time. Then I'll wash it and give it away. I don't want it to go to waste.” Blaine told. Kurt simply nodded once more before returning back to him meal until Blaine spoke up again. “I... loved him.”

Kurt stared at Blaine, questioning him silently as Blaine shifted uncomfortably in his spot, looking down at his fingers tapping gently against his mug. “I know you never believed that I did, but I did. I know that he was an asshole. Trust me, I know that. When things went bad between us, they were bad . We'd scream at each other and say horrible things we didn't mean and...” Blaine sighed, shaking his head at the memories before biting down on his lip. “But... when things were good, they were great. And when things were great, I loved him. And I wish things were always that way.”

There was look of grief in Blaine's eyes that somehow had Kurt feeling guilty once again for ever doubting Blaine's feelings, and he quickly reached out a hand to place on Blaine's against the cup. “You don't need to justify your feelings, Blaine.” Kurt said soothingly. “They're yours and yours alone. I'm sorry that I made you feel as if you did.”

Blaine smiled at Kurt once again, appreciation on his face before he shifted himself closer to Kurt, basically forcing them to cuddle while Kurt laughed, continuing his breakfast. “So... camping?” Kurt questioned with a laugh. “What were you, some type of boy scout?”

Blaine hummed through another sip of his coffee before answering with a prideful, “Eagle scout.” that simply had Kurt snorting at the correction before teasing about it and Blaine defending his title; the giggly back and forth lasting throughout the entire morning outside over two warm cups of coffee.

“Kurt, I don't think Chicago really fits under the movie description you gave me. I mean, I guess, because they became friends at the end, but that's a bit of a stretch...” Blaine mumbled as he walked into Kurt's room, finishing the conversation they had started over text.

Kurt had invited Blaine over for one of his infamous movie Saturdays - “an ode to our friendship” he had claimed, to which, much to Kurt's delight and amusement, had gotten a response of seven exclamation points and a quick “on my way” text back. Minutes later, there Blaine was, pulling off his spring jacket and hanging it before kicking off his shoes and lying on Kurt's bed, catching up on the texts Kurt had sent while he was driving.

“But I do like the idea of a Toy Story marathon. Though, I think we can do without the thirds one, I might-”

“Blaine, don't worry, I already found the perfect movie.” Kurt interrupted Blaine's stream of thought as he stood from his spot in front of the TV.

“Oh.” Blaine spoke in interest, sitting up against the headboard. “What is it?”

“When Harry Met Sally. It's perfect, I don't know why I didn't think of it before. I'm Meg Ryan, of course.” Kurt hummed, one of his brows raising as he waited for Blaine's approval.

“Yeah, of course. Great choice.” Blaine spoke, his arms crossing over his chest as he laughed softly, and surprisingly, faint blush rising on his cheeks.

“Thank you.” Kurt smiled before kneeling back down and popping the DVD into his player, watching the images pop up on the screen.

“Hey, Kurt...” Blaine spoke softly, earning a gentle hum from the boy in return. “Don't those two get together in the end?”

Kurt could feel the corner of his mouth twitch upwards before he turned his head over his shoulder to face Blaine, an innocent bat of his eyelashes before he clapped his hands together and began to stand. “So we don't have popcorn, but there is  cheesecake in the fridge, which I personally think is so much better, don't you?”

Another laugh escaped Blaine's mouth at the blunt ignoral of his question before he nodded, watching Kurt make his way towards the door to retrieve said snack. “Sure. Anything you want.” he agreed, a fond and slightly smitten smile towards Kurt, who simply smiled back and pretended it didn't make him feel weak in his knees.

When Kurt came back with the two plates, it was to his bedroom light off and the movie already playing, Blaine sitting comfortably under Kurt's cover on what they had silently agreed was his side of the bed, watching the title roll onto the screen. Kurt sat next to him, crossing his legs under the cover as well as they watched. It took him no time at all to finish his piece of cake, despite how much bigger Kurt had made sure to make his slice. Seconds after sitting his fork down on his plate with a sigh, he watched how Blaine pushed his placed closer to Kurt without looking away from the movie, having a bit left after taking smaller bites.

Kurt sighed softly, a bit annoyed at how well Blaine knew him and cutting himself a small piece from the remainder of Blaine's cake with his fork. Kurt watched the movie as he scooped the piece up and into his mouth, humming at the taste and closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened his eyes, it was to Blaine staring openly at Kurt with the same fond look that made Kurt's stomach flip. “What?” he giggled nervously, only making Blaine chuckle in response.

“You cheesecake on your face.” Blaine told. Kurt could feel himself blush in the darkness at how he hadn't even noticed the mess he was making, hoping Blaine couldn't see it. He reached his hand up to wipe his mouth but quickly stopped when Blaine's fingers were already on him. “Here, let me.” he mumbled, his hand cupping Kurt's cheek but his thumb sliding across Kurt's bottom lip to the corner of his mouth slowly before bringing that same thumb to his mouth and sucking the cheesecake off, humming at the taste as well.

It was the same exact noise that Kurt had made, but somehow it was so different, and Blaine paused quickly in his actions when he noticed Kurt staring at him sucking his finger like a deer caught in headlights.

Flustered, they both turned their attention back to the movie, an obvious tension in the air as Kurt tried to casually fold his hands over his lap, only blushing hard when his mind raced of memories of Blaine's similar moans - the feeling of Blaine kissing Kurt that night, lips pressing against his neck, Blaine's hands everywhere -

“I'm sorry,” Blaine mumbled sheepishly.

“It's fine.” Kurt responded, wanting to kick himself at how quick and high pitched his response was, closing his eyes as he internally groaned, knowing his face and neck must've been red by now. The sounds of Meg Ryan's moans suddenly boomed throughout the room and Kurt simply smacked his hands over his face, wanting to shrink down as much as possible after the awful joke the universe seemed to be pulling on him.

Once the moaning had died down, Blaine's soft laughter replaced it and Kurt rolled his eyes as he pushed at Blaine's shoulder, fighting the smile that was starting to appear. “It's not funny...” he whined, only causing Blaine to laugh harder.

“It's a little funny.” Blaine spoke, nudging Kurt back who face Blaine with a pout. “Aww, Kurt, come on. If we can't laugh together at this, what are we going to do when things get hard?”

It wasn't until Blaine began snickering at the end of the sentence that Kurt gasped in disapproval, not enjoying how amusing the situation was to Blaine but not being able to stop the corners of his mouth from turning up as his jaw hung open. “I hate you!” he shouted, pulling one of his pillows from behind him and whacking it at the boy who wouldn't stop laughing.

“I'm sorry, it was too easy.” he wheezed, holding up his arms in defence.

Kurt began to laugh as well, the tension in the air fleeing as they did. Eventually, the laughter died down, and the two continued to watch the movie. When Kurt fell asleep on Blaine's shoulder as it was nearing it's end, Blaine found the sight a lot more interested, watching as Kurt snored softly against him, the colors of the screen illuminating his peaceful face. He watched as Kurt sighed softly when Blaine reached for the remote to turn the TV off, adjusting to his new position on Blaine's chest when he slowly lied them down, and then barely stirred when Blaine pressed a soft kiss to his temple before falling asleep himself. 

He's trying ... 

Kurt smiled weakly at his phone as he sipped his coffee, still warm on his lips. Here he was again, sitting by himself at the Lima Bean, waiting for Blaine. The difference though, despite Blaine being just as late as before, was that Blaine was sending a string of texts assuring Kurt that he was indeed on his way, that traffic was against him today, that he was sorry for keeping him - little updates every few minutes to tell Kurt how far away he was and that he was sorry with every passing minute.

It was nice that Blaine was going out of his way to make sure Kurt knew history wasn't repeating itself, wasting no time to erase that memory from Kurt's mind and trying to replace it. But, just like most things Blaine did, it was a bit excessive. Thoughtful and sweet, but unnecessary.

Kurt quickly typed out a response, telling Blaine once again that it was fine and that he should be focusing on driving before sitting his phone down and pulling his book back up, determined to finish the Shakespeare before the weekend was over - something he had been slacking on and paying for in English. It didn't take long for him to get back into the flow of the words before he was interrupted again.

“Ah... fair is foul, and foul is fair.” A deep voice spoke, forcing Kurt to look up to see a smiling, curly haired boy who Kurt immediately recognized as one of Lima Bean's cashiers. The same cashier that Blaine had pressed was cute, and now taking a second look without his Blaine-obsessed glasses, Kurt couldn't help but agree wholeheartedly.

“Excuse me?” Kurt spoke a beat later, closing his book slightly as he gave his attention to the boy standing in front of him.

“Macbeth...?”

Kurt gave a confused glance at his book before connecting the word said to the story he was reading. “Oh! Yeah, sorry. I didn't expect you quote it.”

“Well, I heard that usually impresses people.” The boy spoke, his bright smile forcing Kurt to smile as well, a soft blush appearing on Kurt's cheeks at the fact that someone was trying to impress him before he laughed gently at the statement.

“I think that may be more of a cheap cliche than anything else.” Kurt replied.

“Well, it was worth a shot.” He shrugged before he pointed down at the chair across from Kurt, silently asking permission to sit as Kurt nodded eagerly, watching him do just that. “Figured I'd take a chance to talk to you during my break. I'm Jonah.”

“Kurt.” he responded easily. “And, I remember. You gave me your number a while ago.”

“Which you never called, by the way.”

“I know. I'm sorry.” Kurt groaned, slightly embarrassed for being called out as Jonah chuckled.

“Hey, it's fine.” He shrugged. “I only cried about it for like three days, it's no big deal.” he teased, to which Kurt laughed at once again. Cute, funny, and interested in Shakespeare enough to quote it. What was Kurt thinking?

“Actually...” Kurt spoke, sitting his book down completely as he fiddled with the pen he had been using to take notes in his copy. “I just lost your number. I've never seen you working here since that day.” Kurt covered, sliding the pen and a napkin towards his side of the table.

Jonah's smile grew wider as his hazel eyes shone brightly against his brown skin. He picked up the pen and began scribbling his number on the napkin, Kurt's heart speeding up in excitement. “Well, I only work here on weekends. I'm trying to juggle this job with school.” he spoke, passing the items back to Kurt.

“Where do you go?” Kurt asked curiously, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the ends of the napkin Jonah had handed back to him, a little too giddy to sit it down just yet.

“Washington, down the street. Junior. You?”

“Mckinley. Junior.” Kurt mimicked, his head quirking to the side when Jonah made a slight face at his answer.

“Yikes. I heard it's pretty hard in there; how's that working for you?”

Kurt opened his mouth to explain the inner workings of Mckinley before he was quickly cut off by Blaine appearing a bit out of breath and pressing a hand to Kurt's shoulder as he stood over him. “Kurt, I'm so sorry I'm so late. You will never believe what happened earlier...” he sighed before trailing off, realizing that there was another person in the seat usually reserved for him before throwing a confused glance at Kurt.

“I'm sorry,” Jonah spoke as he began to stand, catching the hint. “Is this boyfriend?”

“No, we're just friends.” Kurt corrected a little too quickly, placing his hand a top of Jonah's and encouraging him to sit back down. He cleared his throat and blushed once again as Jonah looked between the two. “Blaine and I are just friends.”

“I think he heard you the first time, Kurt.” Blaine scoffed bitterly, his expression becoming more confused but his tone different. Almost as if he was... offended by Kurt's words. 

Kurt didn't overthink it though, simply turning his attention to Blaine with a gentle smile. “Blaine, I knew you were going to be late, so I didn't buy your coffee...” Kurt told, nodding his head over to the register before pleading silently for Blaine to give him a minute.

Blaine glanced between Kurt and Jonah once more with a raised eyebrow before nodding. “Okay...” he spoke softly. “I'll be back.” Kurt gave a grateful smile to Blaine as he walked off before turning back to Jonah.

“Speaking of coffee,” Jonah laughed awkwardly. “I should probably get back to work. But it's been really nice talking to you, Kurt.”

“Yeah,” Kurt breathed, watching as Jonah stood. “It's been nice talking to you too.”

“Maybe use my number this time - we can talk some more. Maybe over dinner?”

“I'd really like that.” Kurt responded softly, a grin on his face as the shared a bashful goodbye before Jonah walked away, Blaine taking his place a few minutes later.

“What was that about?” he asked as he sat in the spot Jonah had been in, taking a sip of the coffee he had just bought.

“Nothing. No one.” Kurt babbled out shyly, blushing as he looked down at his book.

Blaine gave another confused look at Kurt before looking over his shoulder, his posture straightening - sitting taller than before. “Well, ‘No One' is staring at you.” Blaine informed, Kurt's eyes widening in both disbelief and surprise as he cautiously looked over his shoulder to see that Blaine was right; Jonah taking small glances at Kurt between customers.

When their eyes met, he waved a quick hello, cheesing, which Kurt shyly returned and laughed softly. Kurt turned back to Blaine, a warm feeling over him as he let out a soft, giddy breath only to find Blaine looking over the napkin with Jonah's phone number on it, unamused.

“He gave you his number.” he said, more stating than asking, but Kurt nodded nonetheless, feeling an uncomfortable atmosphere that was building between them - something he couldn't yet place. “That's a little desperate...” he mumbled, taking another sip of his coffee as Kurt furrowed his brows together with a frown forming.

“I thought it was sweet...”

Blaine paused with the cup to his lips, reading Kurt's expression for a moment before swallowing hard, suddenly blushing himself when he sat his cup down. “No, no, it is sweet. I, uh - I just thought you weren't interested. That's what you told me.” he attempted with a nervous laugh, shifting in his seat.

“I know, but... I changed my mind, I guess. Plus, you're the one who told me he was cute.”

“No, totally.” Blaine nodded with another awkward chuckle as he locked down. He played with his hands for a moment before resting them on his lap properly, leaning in a bit and speaking again, softly as if it was a secret, meeting Kurt's eyes again. “So... you like him?”

“I think so.” Kurt answered just as softly, smiling gently at the number. “I don't really know him yet, but I can't say I'm not interested.”

“Yeah, sure. Well, that's... awesome. That's um... I hope that goes really well.” Blaine responded, his hands moving once again to distractedly at the edge of his cup. “And uh... I hope he knows how extraordinarily lucky  he is to even be considered by someone like you.”

“...Thank you, Blaine.” Kurt smiled gently at him, very suddenly reading the atmosphere - the tone in Blaine's words that left Kurt stuck on what else he should say and how he should be feeling.

Blaine just nodded in response though, clearing his throat before pulling up a smile. “So. You'll never believe what happened earlier.” he repeated his earlier phrase, forcing a shift in subject and mood. Kurt bit his lip, wanting to ask what had happened just now, but not having the words to. Instead, he copied the same Blaine smile Blaine was giving him, and went along with it, ignoring his nerves and questions bubbling inside him, a feeling that was upsettingly too familiar when it came to Blaine.

“Try me.”