Aug. 10, 2016, 7 p.m.
Melt My Heart to Stone: Air Made of Bricks
T - Words: 6,070 - Last Updated: Aug 10, 2016 Story: Closed - Chapters: 6/? - Created: Feb 10, 2016 - Updated: Feb 10, 2016 213 0 0 0 0
Blaine had become quite comfortable around Kurts friends as quickly as Kurt had with Blaines. After Rachels party back in February, Blaine and the New Directions had easily become friends, and ever since, Rachel had been inviting Blaine to her monthly sleepovers. It would be a night with just her, Tina, Mercedes, Blaine, and Kurt, of course, where they could talk about whatever they needed to talk about and do something simple like put on face scrubs and watch musicals without being judged.
It was barely ten when they had decided to break out the nail polish, Kurt painting Mercedes a deep purple, and Tina painting Blaines clear. They worked along with the music playing softly in the background as Rachel rummaged through her closet, standing on her toes to try and reach a box.
"Aha!" She exclaimed when she finally got it down, sitting in between the two groups.
"Rachel, what is that?" Kurt asked, only glancing at its dusty cover before going back to Mercedes nails.
"Its my M.A.S.H. games. Theres like 50 quizzes that help you figure out your fate." Rachel spoke excitedly as she opened up the box. "I used to do these all the time when I was younger." She pulled several packs of cards, each coded a different color; blue for life, green for money, yellow for family, and red for love.
"Why does that not surprise me?" Kurt mumbled, as Mercedes let out a snicker, Rachel rolling her eyes, picking up the love pile and scrolling through them.
"Kurt, dont be a downer. I happen to like fate-based games." Blaine spoke to him, before looking over to Rachel in approval.
"That doesnt surprise me either." Kurt teased louder, to which Blaine rolled his eyes and nudged Kurt with his foot.
"Well, whether you like it or not, Kurt, youre going to play along because its fun and Im pretty sure youre going to enjoy it despite what you want us to believe." Rachel spoke, which, Kurt decided, was probably the absolute truth. She gave him a quick, teasing smile, plucking out a few cards from the deck and passing them out. "Look, theres zodiac compatibility."
Tina and Blaine picked up their cards with interest, looking through and thinking of the sign of their partners. Mercedes was interested also, but was kind enough to wait until Kurt was finished before she picked it up cautiously, scanning through it. "Mike is number two on my list," Tina spoke happily, with heart eyes that made the rest of the room hum.
"Finn is third on mine, which makes sense, because we arent exactly the most obvious couple." Rachel concluded, smiling to herself as she plucked a different card to simply look over.
"Jeremiah is sixth on mine..." Blaine spoke in shock, eyebrows furrowing as if he couldnt believe that the card would ever tell him something that could be false. "Let me see the Taurus, maybe I came in higher for his." he basically commanded, holding out his hand as Rachel quickly passed it to him. Mercedes simply named out her top five, claiming to not being really interested in anyone, before Blaine started speaking again. "Im seventh on his."
The room is silent except for the music playing softly in the background as everyone looks at Blaine with sympathy and Kurt gave a little smile to himself. Okay, yes, Blaine did look clearly upset about the whole thing, and that wasnt okay, but for once, Kurt couldnt help but think that the "stars" were right for once.
"These are in general, Blaine. It really depends on the chemistry people have, which is always different." Mercedes tried to assure, and all the girls agreed and nodded, Blaine showing a slight smile in appreciation.
Kurt shook his head at them, before lifting his card in curiosity, and reading his first compatable choice. Then he blushed slightly as he thought maybe the stars were a little too right on this, because the number one for Gemini was Libra and Blaines birthday was October 18, making him nothing less than Kurts number one.
What a tease.
"If it makes you feel any better, youre number one on my list." Kurt spoke with a half shrug, sliding his card over to Blaine so he could look at it. Blaine picked it up, and compared it to his, an amused smile on his face.
"Youre number two on mine." Blaine spoke, and Kurt scoffed, because how dare a stupid card game make him feel things like this. Like he and Blaine were meant to be together, which, sure, he had been saying to himself since the day he met Blaine, but they werent together, so this wasnt okay.
"We might as well get married." Kurt said with a roll of his eyes, standing as he went to get a can of soda out of Rachels mini fridge, noticing how suddenly hot it was in that room and how dry his mouth was.
"If only it were legal," Blaine teased, handing the cards back to Rachel with a sigh as Rachel gave him a different compatibility card to let him try again with Jeremiah. Kurt let out a hum over his shoulder, because what was he even supposed to say to that? If only it were legal. Ugh, stop.
Kurt turned around, opening the can and stopping midway from taking a sip as he saw everybody except Blaines eyes on him, staring at him knowingly. Kurt blushed harder, but scolded at each of them anyway, only heightening their amusement about Kurts crush. He hated his friends sometimes.
It had been almost a week since Rachels sleepover, and Kurt had felt like he hadnt spoken to Blaine since. Sure, they had light conversations at lunch and were able to see each other at Warbler practice and in the hallways, but they hadnt had anytime to actually spend time with one another. Every time Kurt would mention getting coffee or offer for Blaine to come over, he would be dismissed with Blaines excuse that he had already made plans with Jeremiah.
Kurt wasnt mad, of course not. He understood Blaines desire to spend time with his boyfriend, but he couldnt help but feel a little left out. The other Warblers were great to talk to, but he hadnt looked forward to seeing those specific Warblers every day. He didnt have little inside jokes with them, or could share certain personal details with them.
And his friends at Mckinley were lovely, of course, but they never understood him as much as Blaine did, and it wasnt very different now. Not talking to Blaine, Kurt noticed, felt very... lonely. An all too familiar feeling that was etched into Kurts face when he walked down the halls, even when he didnt mean it to be. He hadnt even really noticed how unhappy he mustve been looking until people started commenting on it, and he realized that he needed to start fake-smiling more often to avoid the pity looks until something more exciting happened in his life. Still, he longed to talk to someone who just got him.
So when Blaine came up to him that Friday, he didnt even scold himself for how his heart skipped a beat at the sight of seeing him. He had decided to skip lunch that day, Mercedes already having plans to get something after school, and instead went into the library to try and finish up homework early. After twenty minutes, he wasnt even sure what he was actually reading, starting to daydream at his table until Blaines voice rang in his ear.
"Uh oh. Looks like someones having a bad day." He smiled, pulling up a chair next to Kurt, snapping him out of his daydream. He sat in it backwards as he dropped his bag and faced Kurt, his arms folding over the back of the chair. "Whats up, buttercup?"
Kurt smiled at the pet name, shrugging his shoulders. "Nothing," He spoke, closing his book with a pleasantly surprised smile and falling back into his seat before rubbing a hand over his eyes. "Just tired."
"Ah, looks like all of this Dalton work is getting to you." Blaine replied easily, resting his chin on his folded arms as he looked at Kurt sympathetically. "You know you dont have to study so hard, right?"
"Thats easy for you to say. You seem to be breezing through junior year."
"...What do you mean?" Kurt paused, instantly regretting the bitter words he had said, and looked away with another shrug until Blaine urged him on. "Come on, weve been honest with each other for this long, Im not going to hate you over one bad comment."
"I just..." Kurt started, turning back to Blaine, who waited patiently for Kurt to continue with wide, curious eyes. He was right. This was Blaine. The same Blaine who he had confessed and received secrets from, starting with his bullying on the first day he met him. He could be honest with him. "You seem to be doing all of these great, big things and still somehow have time to spare to spend with, you know, Jeremiah."
Blaine let out a light laugh, rolling his eyes at Kurt, but not in a disbelieving or mean way. It was almost as if he saw this coming, and then it was Kurts turn to wait, patient and curious. "Kurt... I am just as stressed as you are. With Dalton stacking on papers, and the Warblers disagreeing very vocally in every meeting we have, I am exhausted. Not to mention, I have a performance gig with this girl who is just..." He cut himself off, creating an annoyed face that Kurt found all too familiar from when he had to work with Rachel Berry, and he couldnt help but laugh.
Blaine shook his head, getting the frustrated thoughts out of his mind before going back to explaining to Kurt. "I hadnt spent anytime with Jeremiah in a long time, but now hes on spring break, and I cant help but to not waste this opportunity and try to see him with the little free time I have."
Kurt couldnt help the guilt from being irritated about not having a piece of Blaines free time, when he was already stretching himself thin, barely even fitting his boyfriend into his life. He blushed softly, ducking his head as he spoke out a quick "Sorry."
He felt Blaines hand on top of his suddenly, and he looked back up to meet Blaines hazel eyes, as Blaine shook his head softly. "Dont be sorry. Ive been neglecting my friends lately, especially you, and thats not fair. Youve done so much for me and I should be there for you too, so it should be me who is sorry." Blaine consoled Kurt, who just smiled in return, appreciating that Blaine knew where his bitterness was coming from and wasnt upset about it.
"In that case, apology accepted." Kurt said with a tease, causing Blaine to let out a light chuckle. His hand was still on Kurts, and he pulled it away without thinking, going to play with the cuff of his blazer.
"So, now that thats over with, maybe you wouldnt mind coming over after school and we can do some homework, or maybe... you could look at some of this sheet music I have-"
"Blaine, are you trying to coax me into rehearsing the girl part of yet another flirty duet with you?" Kurt laughed, rolling his eyes as Blaine ducked his head at how obvious he was.
"Well, you have to admit, performing Baby Its Cold Outside was a lot more fun than sitting around and studying."
"It was a lot less productive too." Kurt chattered back, making Blaine laugh softly with a roll of his eyes.
"If I remember correctly, you aced that French test, just like every other test you take. Plus, that time was 100% productive just because you love performing with me." Blaine shot back with a wink. Kurts face flushed a bright pink as he looked down. It was true though. Performing next to Blaine was a lot better than performing behind him. Even though it was only a rehearsal for him to go and sing with a girl, it was always nice to pretend Blaine was singing to him. That they were singing to each other.
Blaine lifted his sleeve to check his watch before sighing and gathering his things. "I have to go, but Ill see you after school, right? No exceptions, Kurt, I need you." Blaine added, placing a gentle hand on Kurts knee at his last sentence.
Kurt sighed with a smile, trying to avoid Blaines large pleading eyes, but knowing he couldnt say no to Blaine anyway. He had Kurt wrapped around his finger whether he knew it or not. "Fine. No exceptions." He repeated back to Blaine, earning a large grin that Kurt could feel his heart thump dramatically at.
"Yes! Thank you, Kurt!" Blaine cheered, standing and pulling his bag over his shoulder before going to hug Kurt. "Youre the best, I swear." He spoke enthusiastically, giving Kurt a large, theatrical kiss on the cheek. "Ill meet you there at 3:30." He spoke over his shoulder as he rushed out of the library, earning a few shushs along the way that he sheepishly apologized for.
Kurt, though, sat frozen, watching him leave. His skin was still warm and buzzing from where Blaine had kissed him. Blaine had kissed him. It was on the cheek, sure, and Blaine would do this plenty of times with other Warblers if he was excited, so it wasnt completely abnormal, but... he had never kissed Kurt. It was barely anything, but now Kurt knew what Blaines lips felt like, and the urge to have that same soft feeling against his own lips was even more powerful.
Kurt quickly collected his books and stuffed them into his bag before rushing out of the library himself. He and Mercedes were going to have a lot to talk about before Kurt could rush off to see Blaine again.
By the time Kurt had arrived to Blaines, his heart was beating just as quickly as it was when he had last seen him. Mercedes had failed to calm any emotions he had about Blaine. Actually, it felt as though they were heightened, he realized as he walked up the stairs of the Anderson house to Blaines bedroom. The door was unlocked just as the front door was, but Kurt always knocked gently before opening Blaines door just in case he caught him in something... scandalous. Why Kurt thought that would actually ever happen, he had no idea, but he could never be sure.
Blaine smiled quickly upon seeing Kurt, turning down the music he had playing through his room and hopping off the bed. Kurt noticed how he had changed out of his Dalton uniform and into a pair of pajama bottoms and an oversized Ohio State sweater Jeremiah had probably given to him.
Right. Blaine had a boyfriend. A douchebag of a boyfriend, but a boyfriend nonetheless. His cheek kiss was nothing but friendly. Blaine probably hadnt even thought twice about it after. Kurt felt an all too familiar sinking feeling in his chest as he stared at the blocky red letters on Blaines chest.
"Are you okay?" Blaine spoke, snapping Kurt out of his trance as he took Kurts bag from him and put it next to his own neatly at the edge of his bed. "You seem a little..." Blaine cut himself off with a shrug. Kurt did his best to smile, hating how he let himself make the whole thing up in his head. Again.
"Im fine, Im just tired." He responded lamely with a shrug back, but it was an excuse that Blaine had no problem accepting.
"Well, once we finish, we can sit and rest all you like. Ill even give you one of my infamous Anderson back massages for being so nice and helping me when I know youre loaded on schoolwork." Blaine hummed, patting a hand on Kurts shoulder when he passed by him to collect his sheet music.
Kurt sat on Blaines bed with a smile, crossing his hands over his thigh as he waited. "Sounds tempting," he started, earning a glance from Blaine. "Are you sure we cant start with that?" Blaine smiled at Kurt with a shake of his head before switching the song on his phone and playing a familiar instrumental tune. He started the song with a hum, slowly gliding towards Kurt and reaching a hand to pull him off the bed. Kurt moved with Blaine, not needing the sheet music to sing along with Blaine.
They ran through the song once with bubbly spirits, dancing around one another as they had done before. Their hands clasped and broke apart effortlessly as they ran through it, smiling and laughing with one another. When the song ended and then repeated, Blaine simply pulled Kurt in his arms, back to chest, and swayed with him, humming the lyrics instead of actually singing them. Kurt laughed softly, fully expecting Blaine to break the embrace after a couple of seconds.
But he didnt. Instead he just continued to rock Kurt, his chin resting on Kurts shoulder as he continued to hum the sweet song into Kurts ear. Suddenly, Kurts face was a crimson red as his heart beat sped up and he tried to steady his breathing. He hadnt been this close to Blaine for this long other than when they shared a bed. And even then, he wasnt wrapped up in what felt like a romantic embrace.
Blaines nose nuzzled into the small spread of skin between Kurts neck and collarbone, and Kurt had to stop himself from gasping, trying to appear as calm as possible; much like trying not to move too much when a small animal finally decides to lie close to you. Kurt closed his eyes softly, taking in the feeling of Blaine surrounding him, the music just becoming Blaines faint hum in Kurts mind.
Kurt knew he shouldnt have been thinking about it, but he couldnt help the thought of how much he could get used to this from crossing his mind. Letting Blaine hold him, no matter the reason, and occasionally being able to return the favor. Dancing slowly in a room that he pictured they would be able to call their own. Having Blaine so close like they were the only two people in the world. Kurt knew that there wouldnt be any feeling that could compare to that. It was basically perfection.
"Kurt?" Blaine spoke suddenly, making Kurt open his eyes. He simply hummed back, almost too dreamlike, too giddy, but he didnt mind. He was happy. Blaine let out a soft breath onto Kurts skin, sitting his chin back on Kurts shoulder before speaking again. "I think... I think I love Jeremiah."
The soft breaths Kurt was trying to control suddenly felt thick and heavy. Blaines embrace was suddenly overbearing and he couldve swore he was sweltering under the pressure of Blaine, waiting for Kurt to say something. Anything.
But Kurt was stuck on his words. One minute, he felt as though he was flying and then the next, he was being pulled down to the ground, quick and aggressive. "How?" was all Kurt could say finally in a faint disbelieving voice.
"What do you mean?" Blaine asked, a bit louder than his confession.
"I mean, how can you love him? Its only been two months, you barely know him." He felt Blaines hold around him soften and he knew he had said the wrong thing, but once he started, it was like he was spiraling down with worse things to say.
"I think I know him quite a bit by now, thank you." Blaine spoke, obviously offended, and Kurt sighed in frustration, turning around to face Blaine.
"Do you? I know you like him a lot Blaine, and why, I will never understand, but love? Thats... thats just-"
"Oh, and what, youre suddenly an expert on love?" Blaine spat, backing away from Kurt, his defenses building up in way that Kurt never meant to let happen. "I know you dont like him, but I would at least expect you to be supportive of me. Im not stupid, Kurt, I think I know my own boyfriend enough to feel something more than liking him a lot."
"I wasnt calling you stupid..." Kurt quickly stumbled out, an apology deep in his eyes. "I just dont want you to get hurt." Blaine scoffed in response, crossing his arms as he turned his back to Kurt slightly. Kurt took tentative steps towards Blaine, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he tried to think of what to say. He let out a slight huff as he tried to formulate some type of apology. "Blaine-"
"I think you should leave."
The statement was sharp and concise, hitting Kurt like a bullet to the head. It left him in a stunned silence, his mouth agape until he consciously closed it, scanning the floor as if he could find some words to say in response. It wasnt his and Blaines first disagreement, of course not, but Kurt had never been kicked out of Blaines house.
It took Kurt a moment to move, but when he did, he left no words for Blaine. He couldnt muster up any, and he knew what he would say wouldnt be enough. Not now, at least. He simply nodded, collected his bag from where it was placed at the end of the bed and left, closing Blaines door behind him. Despite not saying anything then, he knew he would call Blaine the next day, if not that night. They needed time to cool off, and to find their words. Staying and trying to force Blaine to forgive him wouldnt have helped. They just needed time.
Kurt continued to tell himself that as he tossed his phone in his hands later that night, sitting in his bed and completely ignoring the leftover homework he had that he couldve finished in ten minutes if he just focused on it. But he couldnt. He wanted to talk to Blaine. He had so much to say. He went over his apology speech countless times in his head, created some witty joke to break the ice, had a back up plan for if Blaine didnt forgive him right away, but couldnt forced himself to call Blaine, or even text him for that matter.
Kurt groaned, lying back on his bed and looking at his phone. He stared at Blaines name in his contact list, chewing at his bottom lip as his thumb hovered over it. Just talk to him, he thought to himself, his eyebrows scrunching together in frustration. Hell understand. He always does.
Kurt sighed. He could do this.
Before Kurt had pressed the call button, there was a soft knock at his door. Kurt sat up, mumbling a slight "Come in." He wasnt surprised when his fathers face instantly scrunched up at Kurts upset one when he walked through the door.
"Whoa, whats with the face? You look like you just found out some fancy designer died." Burt questioned, sitting next to Kurt on the edge of his bed, as Kurt slightly leaned in closer to him, his pout never leaving.
"Nothing, just... an argument with Blaine." Kurt admitted with a sigh.
"Something serious?"
Kurt shrugged, looking down at his phone and tossing it slightly between his hands again. "I hope not." He spoke quietly as if Blaine himself were listening and could hear how sad Kurt was and eventually break the silence between the two. But he knew that wouldnt happen, and the more he thought about making the first move, the more words Kurt found himself not being able to say to Blaine. He shook his head, clearing his mind before turning to Burt. "Did you want something?"
Burt shifted, repositioning himself on the bed as he nodded. "Yes, actually. I got a phone call today from Mckinley."
Kurt sat up straighter in curiosity, his head cocking slightly in question of his old school. "From who, Sue?" he asked, and when Burt nodded, his curiosity only heightened. "Whatd she say?"
Burt sighed, rubbing his hand over his forehead in exasperation before answering. "Its about that Karofsky kid. Apparently he wants to have a sit down with you, apologize and have you go back to Mckinley."
Kurt felt a cold rush over his spine as he thought of the years he had with Karofsky - the locker shoves, the "faggot" calling, the slushies, and above all, the death threat that made him leave in the first place. "What?" he asked, almost offended by the offer, looking at his father with a confused face. "Why? What does he want?"
"I dont know, Kurt. Said that hes trying to turn over some type of new leaf or something. Almost hung up the damn phone before she finished. But I figured Id hear her out first, and come talk to you. In case you wanted to go meet with them."
Kurt scrunched his eyebrows together, scoffing at the idea. Of course he didnt want to go. After everything he and his family had went through to get him out of there, simply to go back at his bullys request? They mustve been delusional to even call.
"Now, listen, I know what youre thinking. Im almost certain that were thinking the exact same thing." Burt continued. "But before you immediately say no, I want you to take some time and think about it."
"Why think about it, my answer is obviously not going to change? Karofsky threatened to kill me and barely got a slap on the wrist, I dont trust anything he has to say."
"Neither did I. But you gotta think, Kurt. A kid like that doesnt just go around making promises like this, especially when he already got off easy. Maybe... we should go see what this is about."
"Are you defending him? Defending... this."
"No, absolutely not. But you know I want whats best for you, and Im starting to question if thats Dalton."
"What are you talking about? Daltons great, Ive never been bullied there." Kurt argued.
"Yeah, physically. The Kurt I saw walk into the front door before he went to Dalton is not the same person Im lookin at now. Its like youre just becoming some... Dalton clone, hiding behind that blazer."
"Dad. Im fine!" Kurt exclaimed, gesturing to himself. "Im still the same Kurt Hummel as Ive always been. Im just trying to fit in. Things are different there, they dont act the way we do at Dalton."
"And how do we act?"
"You know what I mean."
"No, I dont, Kurt." Burt paused as Kurt huffed, rubbing a hand over his forehead. When he realized his son wasnt going to speak up, he continued, his tone more serious in a way he only used when he really needed Kurt to hear what he was saying. "How is changing who you are at Dalton any different than changing the fact that youre gay at Mckinley?"
Kurts voice was lost. Burt was right, and thats what he hated the most. He hated that all of this hard work was for nothing. That no matter how horrible things were at Mckinley, he couldnt deny that he had spent days at Dalton missing it, even when he wished he didnt. He just wanted things to be okay. After everything, he just wanted things to finally be okay. "Im tired of fighting." He mumbled out eventually, looking down at his hands, for what, he didnt completely know. "Fighting for things to be okay."
Burt nodded with a slight sigh escaping. It wasnt until Kurt had looked up that he had spoken. "Youre gonna have to fight youre whole life, Kurt. For any and everything in your life, and even more for it to be okay. Its up to you to decide which things are worth fighting for."
It was Kurt who was nodding now, as Burt stood and made his way towards the door, stopping for a moment to look back at Kurt. "If you decide by Sunday that you dont want to go, then we wont go." Then he left, leaving Kurt with a decision. And wishing he had someone to help him with it.
Kurt was almost embarrassed to admit that he had spent a good portion of his weekend trying to get in contact with Blaine. He was beyond surprised that he hadnt answered his phone calls or texts by the time of his meeting with Karofsky, but he hadnt, and that Monday morning, he had been sitting in his old principals office, hearing both side of the argument of coming back. The whole event had made Kurt feel sick to be honest, finding out the real motive behind him coming back, and simply walking back down those halls. He couldnt deny that he had flinched more than once in the short time he had been there, and he was grateful when it was decided that he could just stay home for the rest of the day instead of going back to Dalton.
And he had been planning on not going. On simply relaxing in bed, and figuring things out in his complex mind. That was until a familiar chirp that he was used to hearing had suddenly stopped.
Kurt hadnt been sure why it devastated him so much, but it had. It was as if Pavarottis death had opened up the bottled feelings he had hidden deep, deep, deep down. He had started crying, and wasnt fully sure when he was going to stop. He cried about Pavarotti, about Mckinley, about Blaine, and about himself. About his life. About how things werent fair. About how much he wished he was happy, but he wasnt. He just wasnt.
Later, when he was able to recollect himself to some degree, he decided to leave his house. He drove to Dalton, and he saw the Warblers. He told them the news and didnt have to ask for their sympathy, because they finally listened to him. He sung, and he made them listen, and for the first time since he had arrived at Dalton, he felt included. He felt safe just being there, feeling like he didnt have to try and fit in. He felt like he was being heard, finally. He couldnt explain how refreshing it was, to sing his heart out, and to feel, and to express. He was sure it was one of the best performances he had ever given in his life.
He just wished Blaine was there to see it.
"Blaine."
Blaine flinched at the sound of Kurts voice, and Kurt instantly regretted calling him with no warning, remembering Blaine had the same bullying PSD he had. He didnt mean to. He just had to say it before he chickened out of it. He had been staring at Blaine in the hall for at least ten minutes, stopping and backing away until he was semi-hidden once had saw him by his locker. He couldnt help it. It had been five days. This was the longest he and Blaine hadnt talked to each other, and he was honestly not sure what to say at this point. If he could say anything at this point, to just make this whole issue go away.
Blaine released a sigh of relief under his breath when he saw Kurt, turning back to his phone to click it off and push it into his pocket. "Hey... I called you Saturday. And Sunday." Kurt told once he walked up to him. Blaine hadnt even made eye contact with him, just continued to rummage through his locker. Kurt pretended it wasnt heart-breaking.
"Oh." he spoke. "I was busy."
That was it. That was all he said. Kurt waited for more. For a better response, for an explanation, but... nothing.
"Busy with... homework? Because you know, you couldve-"
"No, busy with Jeremiah." Blaine spoke again, a little quicker, a little sharper. And there is was. The almighty, holy reason behind Kurt being ignored, out and proud and damaging Kurts friendship. Along with his patience, if he was being honest.
"Oh?" he replied back. "And rehearsal yesterday?"
"I was shockingly still with Jeremiah."
Kurt gritted his teeth at the answer, fighting with himself to keep his calm. He knew he had offended Blaine before. He had hurt his feelings, and he was wrong to talk to Blaine the way he had. But he apologized, for crying out loud. It wasnt as if he told Blaine it was either him or Jeremiah. Kurt didnt deserve this, and he knew it. And he wasnt just going to sit around and accept it either.
"Wow... So, youre just publically avoiding me now? Or are you just so wrapped up in your relationship that you dont care about anything else anymore?"
The clash of metal made Kurt jump when Blaine slammed his locker, looking at Kurt with so much frustration and anger that Kurt had never seen before. Not directed at him, at least.
"Why cant you just be happy for me like a normal person?" He stressed, hand still lying against his locker door. If that hadnt gotten peoples attention - which it obviously did, the sound still ringing in Kurts ears - the rise in Blaines voice certainly had, making Kurt look around bashfully at the people taking in the scene. Not Blaine, though. His eyes were focused on Kurt, and for once, Kurt wished they werent.
"I am happy for you." Kurt argued, much more hushed than Blaine had been. "Ive told you that a hundred times."
"Well, you sure dont act like it." Blaine had spat back, just as loudly as hed been before.
"Why are you screaming at me?" Kurt questioned.
"Because youre supposed to be my friend! Youre supposed to be supporting me but youre not! What ever happened to "if you like him, I like him," Kurt?"
"I am being your friend, Im just... Im trying to protect you."
"Protect me from what? From being happy?"
"Jeremiahs not a good guy, Blaine. I wouldnt be saying this if I wasnt trying to help you."
"God, Kurt, why are you so... jealous?"
Kurt took a step back at the word, brows furrowing in disbelief. The assumption stung in a way that had Kurt speechless for a moment. Because thats what it was: an assumption. Kurt had been jealous before, sure, but only in the beginnings of their relationship. Now, all he was was concerned, and Blaine dismissing it as jealousy was just... Who the hell did he think he was?
Kurt could feel his anger bubbling up inside of him. After everything he went through to make sure Blaine was happy in his oh so wonderful relationship with that jackass, and this was what he got in return? Amazing. Fucking amazing.
"Excuse me?" Kurt had sputtered out after collecting his words. "Jealous of what, exactly?"
"Of our relationship together. Of me. Of him; I dont know, Kurt. Something. I denied it before, but now... Im starting to see what Jeremiah was talking about."
"Jeremiah!" Kurt shouted in incredulity. "Of course. Of course he would tell you something a vacuous as that. It must be really hard to swallow down all of the bullshit he feeds you."
Blaine rolled his eyes at Kurt, shaking his head. "Thats funny coming from you."
"You know what, Blaine? It is. Its fucking hilarious coming from me, considering that I was the person who has been with you from the beginning of this entire relationship. I was the one helping you not only get, but keep Jeremiah as a boyfriend. I listened to you talk about him for hours, helped you get ready for your dates, even went on one with you when you were too nervous. And you call me jealous? You say Im not being a good friend when you wont even answer your phone when I need you the most. But I must be such a horrible, jealous person if Jeremiah says so."
Blaine was silent. It was the loudest silence Kurt had heard in a long time. His gaze was on Blaine, waiting for him to say something. Anything. But he didnt. Kurt shouldve been satisfied, because he knew he was right, and Blaine knew he was right, but instead, it just hurt.
He knew he was going to cry. The longer he stared at Blaine, the tighter his chest became, and the harder it was to breathe the heavy air. So he forced himself to say something, just to break the deafening silence. Anything.
"Pavarotti died." he mumbled, just loud enough for Blaine to hear. "But you probably know that being the good friend that you are."
Kurt didnt stay to see Blaines reaction, or to hear the words that Blaine couldve said. He walked past him, head held to the ceiling, inhaling through his nose as he held it together. Suddenly, it was clear why Kurt had put up such a fight to stay at Dalton. It was even more clear now, though, that he had been absolutely wrong. This wasnt a place for him. He didnt belong here. He never did.