I found myself wandering around Central Park before I stopped at the Alice in Wonderland statue.  After I had left the office, I had felt the need to go to one of our "places."  As a kid, the park, and that statue, was a favorite place for Blaine and me.  And now, it even held some adult memories.

It was just past noon and several nannies were out and about with their kids; the statue was like a jungle gym just crawling with children.  I took a seat on a bench and just watched them running around, wondering if any of them had imaginary friends.

There were a couple of teenagers on a bench several feet away from me, kissing and laughing.  This time, I enjoyed watching them because I knew for that moment, at least, they were hopelessly in love.

Was I in love, too, and was it hopeless?

As I looked around and felt the cool breeze on my face, the warmth of the sun, I felt lighter.  I felt free.  Free of all of my responsibilities, free from Jesse, free from worry about what others expected of me.  Until someone found me, at least.

All I wanted was Blaine.  I knew he could vanish again at any moment, and probably would.  But, love means taking chances, right?  I wanted to take a chance.

I heard a voice, and I looked up to find Blaine gazing down at me.

"There you are," he said exasperatedly, " I've been looking for you forever."

Blaine looked miserable to me.  "What happened to you?"

"What do you mean?" Blaine patted at his hair self-consciously, his brow furrowed.

"You look like you haven't slept in days.  You look... sick."

Blaine sat down next to me and grabbed my hand.  "I'm fine, Kurt.  Never better."  He kissed me, then moved in to envelope me in a hug.  I felt him bury his face in my neck and press his lips to the skin there.  I clung tighter to him.

"Let's go get you cleaned up, hm?" I said, taking his hand and leading him to the street so I could hail a cab.

On the drive to my apartment, Blaine rested his head on my shoulder and I heard him speak.  "Why did you leave work?"

"Why else?  Jesse showed up," I sighed.  Blaine lifted one of my hands to his lips in a kiss.  "And... I think I quit my job."

Blaine sat up to look at me.  "You think you quit your job?"  he repeated.

"I... yeah.  I decided that just now."

Blaine smirked a little at me.  "You'll be okay, Kurt," he said.

I couldn't help but lean in and kiss him again.  When we pulled apart, I continued.  "I've decided that I'm done being miserable.  I'm done living inside someone else's box.  I want to have fun and enjoy my life.  Doesn't everyone want that?"

"You deserve it," he said softly, and pulled my face in to press our lips together in a deep kiss.

When we reached my building, I finally asked him up.  I led him up to my flat and felt nervous as he looked around.

"It fits you," he said simply.

I let him take a shower and set out some clean clothes for him while I made us coffee.  When he came padding out of my bedroom I felt my heart swell.  I had finally asked him up to my apartment, he had been naked in my shower (I blushed at the thought) and he was in my clothes.  And nothing had even happened.  Right then, I didn't expect anything to happen; I was content just to have him there with me at all.

He looked considerably better after cleaning up some.  As I poured us each cups of coffee, I could see him out of the corner of my eye wandering around, checking out my bookshelves and my desk.  He stopped to pick something up and looked at it.

"Kurt, these are amazing," he said.

"What?"  I set our mugs down on the table and went to see what he was looking at.  In his hands he held a few clothing sketches I had been working on.  It was just something I did as a hobby in what little spare time I had.  It was fun and something I had always enjoyed.

He looked at me.  "Why didn't you pursue this?"  He flipped through a few more drawings.  "These are... Kurt, these are good.  You're so talented."

"It just... it never seemed practical," I recited what my grandmother had told me over and over when I was in high school and college.

"Screw that," Blaine scoffed.  "You could do this."

"Do what?" I asked, confused.

"Fashion.  You can design, Kurt." When he saw me gaping at him he added, "You've got the time now."

I did.  Suddenly, my schedule was wide open.  But I had never been able to consider that path as a reality.  It was daunting.  "I'll think about it."

We sat, drinking our coffee, in comfortable silence--occasionally stealing flirty glances at each other over the rims of our mugs--until Blaine set his down and looked at me seriously.

"Kurt, do you remember when you were little and that time your dad took you for that summer vacation in Maine?"

I smiled.  "He was trying to make up for missing my birthday that year.  I was eight."

"Yeah."

"You and I built sand castles and collected sand dollars at Goose Rocks beach, I remember.  We went to get ice cream in town as often as possible and somehow you talked me into swimming, even though the water was still cold."

"They were good times, weren't they?"

"They really were," I said wistfully, tracing the rim of my now empty mug with my pointer finger.

"Let's go back there, Kurt."

I looked up at him and smiled, playing along.  "I'd love that.  When?"

"Right now.  Today.  Let's just do it." He was serious.

I could tell something was up but I knew that if there was something going on with him, he would tell me when the time was right.  And the idea of dropping everything and just leaving with Blaine sounded so appealing.

"I'd love to," I said.  "But you have to promise to answer a few questions for me."

Kurt left a message for his dad so he wouldn't completely freak out that he had left, and then they were getting ready to go.  Blaine was strangely excited about the nearly six hour drive.

As he helped Kurt pack his car, he told him, "I've never been on a road trip before!  This is going to be fun."

Kurt laughed.  "All right then."  Then he paused.  "Can you even drive?"

"I, um, I think?" Blaine said, unsure.  "I guess we'll find out!"

Kurt decided it might be best if he drove the entire way, no matter how tired he got.

Not long after, they were on the road.  They drove without talking for a while, with Blaine playing with the radio, until Kurt turned it down and glanced at him.

"Okay, first question," he said.  "You dodged this question last time, but have you ever been in love?"

Blaine sighed.  "The way it works Kurt, is that I forget the past after a while.  It's not my choice, I just do.  So to answer your question, I don't think so."

Kurt was silent.  Blaine continued, "Not until now, anyway."

Then Blaine watched as Kurt's face broke into a wide smile.  "Me too," he said.  And it was just that simple between them.  Blaine didn't think he had ever been that happy.

"I would kiss you right now if I could," Kurt told him, glancing his way.

"Well, I can kiss you," said Blaine, and he leaned over, a little precariously, to plant a kiss on Kurt's cheek.  Kurt hummed with happiness.

"How about sex?" was Kurt's next question when Blaine had pulled away.

Blaine spluttered.  "One thing at a time, yeah?"

He saw Kurt roll his eyes.  "Fine."

"Let's play a game," Blaine offered and they settled into a relaxed game of "I Spy" that ended about an hour later when Blaine drifted off to sleep.

When Blaine woke up, it was dark out and they were stopped.  He slowly roused himself, confused as to where they were until he met Kurt's eyes.  He smiled blearily.

"Where are we?"

"Welcome to Lowell, Massachusetts," Kurt said grandly.  "Are you hungry?"  Blaine nodded as he sat up to stretch before he leaned over to kiss Kurt deeply.

"What was that for?" Kurt asked, not looking at all like he was complaining.

"I just enjoy doing it," Blaine said, before leaning in to kiss him again.

After they finished eating they made their way back to the car in the yellow lights of the parking lot, laughing and eager to get back on the road.

Blaine insisted on driving the rest of the way.

Kurt laughed.  "I don't think so."

"Have a little faith, Kurt," Blaine told him.  Kurt just narrowed his eyes at him and insisted that Blaine practice around the empty parking lot first.

"I never imagined my own death before, but a car crash at the hand of my imaginary friend seems like the last thing I would have considered," Kurt joked as Blaine pulled onto the freeway.

Blaine knew he was kidding, but a lump formed in his throat anyway and he tried to swallow past it.  Was this how it was meant to happen?  Would the universe see Blaine's getaway trip as an attempt to dodge fate and the inevitable would happen anyway?

Blaine cleared his throat and tried to sound as if nothing were wrong.  "We're not going to crash, Kurt."

"The White Barn Inn," Kurt read the sign aloud as Blaine pulled up to a beautiful wood-paneled house lit up in the night.  He looked at Blaine.  "Wow, Blaine."

Blaine was pleased at the awe in Kurt's voice.  Why waste time worrying about the little amount of time they might have left when he should be treasuring the small things?  Everything was precious.  Every moment mattered.

I love Kurt and that's everything.

"Do you think they'll let us stay so late, though?" Kurt asked as they unpacked the car.  It was past eight now that they had reached Kennebunkport, and it didn't look like a place that would accept anyone without a reservation, but Blaine had no worries.

They walked hand in hand through the doors to the grand reception desk where a woman was waiting.  She looked up, looking a little confused.  "Do you have a reservation?  If not I could direct you to a hotel down the street."

But Blaine just shook his head and gave her the name "Anderson" and before they knew it they were being led toward the river and a row of cottages by another employee.

"Anderson?" Kurt asked, curiously.

"It's just a name I picked up a long time ago," Blaine shrugged.

Kurt smiled.  "It fits you."

Blaine smiled back at him. He then leaned in close as they continued walking down the path toward their cottage, whispering into Kurt's ear, "And to answer your question from earlier today.  Yes, I have had sex before."

But before Kurt could react to his words, the woman leading them turned around and indicated the building they had stopped at, "The Gull Cottage, for romantic getaways," she grinned widely at them.  "Enjoy your stay."

We didn't have sex that first night in our little cottage at the White Barn Inn.  And I tried not to overthink it.  We were both exhausted after a long day and had promptly passed out on the queen-size bed.

We had fallen asleep together, though, and had woken up in each other's arms.  I could live with that if it meant I got to keep the image of a bashful, sleepy, ruffled Blaine in my head for the rest of my life.

I would have been content to just stay in bed, as I was still a little tired, but Blaine seemed to have other plans.  He took us to part of Kennebunkport's Dock Square, charmingly called "Cape Porpoise."  It was everything that I loved about Maine as a child, but now I could enjoy it as an adult as we strolled around looking at the shops and watched the fisherman at the pier.

We had fish and chips at the Pier 77 restaurant overlooking the water, watching the boats pass us by and listening to the seagulls squawk above us.  Blaine sometimes would get this far-away look in his eyes as he stared at the horizon over the water and I desperately wanted to know what he was thinking.  Every time I caught him drifting from me, I tried to drag him back by distracting him with a question about our past together and I would watch as the spark in his eyes would come back fiercer than ever.

Blaine seemed to remember everything, even some things I couldn't recall.  We talked and talked as we strolled along the beach, occasionally collecting pretty-colored rocks or broken sand dollars along the way.  I watched as Blaine skillfully skipped stones along the choppy water's surface and we laughed as he attempted to teach me to do the same.

When I finally managed it, we cheered as a stone artfully skipped the water three times before plunking into its depths.  Blaine took me up in his arms and before I knew it we were kissing again, right there on the beach in the slowly setting sunlight.  When we broke apart, we didn't need words as we made our way back toward the inn, hands swinging between us and seeming to generate a silent hum of electricity.

When the door of our cottage closed behind us, I found myself pressed against it as Blaine's lips skimmed the column of my neck before finding my lips again.  The only sound in the room was that of our breathing, getting harsher with each minute.

"What are we doing?" I asked, trying not to let my nervousness show through my voice.

Blaine looked at me, his eyes wide and piercing.  "I... whatever you want," he breathed.

"I want you," I couldn't keep myself from saying the words.  And from the look Blaine gave me, I didn't want to take them back.

"Okay," he said simply, pulling us toward the bed.  "Okay."

He played with the hem of my shirt a little before lifting it up and I let him.  He undressed me almost reverently, and I caught him whispering words like, "gorgeous" and "beautiful" and so many other things that no one had ever called me before.

As I began to peel Blaine's clothes off, I discovered that he was, in fact, perfect.  He was all firm, tan skin lightly dusted with dark hair and I wanted to touch.  Blaine slowly climbed over me on the bed, petting at every inch of skin he could get at, and when we were eye-level it suddenly all struck me the weight of what we were doing.

What were the... rules of having sex with your imaginary friend?

I laughed.

Blaine's face went from lustful to confused in about a millisecond and that made me laugh even more.

"Is... everything okay?"

"Yes," I reassured him, bringing a hand up to cup his face.  "Everything is perfect."

And it was.  Because surely something filled with so much love couldn't be weird or wrong.  It was just Blaine and I, like we were meant to be.

I leaned up to kiss him again and felt Blaine's hands slide down to grip at my hips as he lowered himself and our bodies finally came flush together.  I made a noise that would have been embarrassing in any other situation, but with Blaine he just seemed to kiss me harder as our bodies found a rhythm.

Blaine's touch was gentle but firm as he traced over my body; over my nipples, down my stomach, the inside of my thighs--his mouth following the path the entire way.  His focus made me tremble.  I was so hard I ached and feeling Blaine against me only intensified everything.

"Blaine, please," I whimpered.

Blaine looked up at me from where he was perched between my legs before nodding and I couldn't look away as he slid his mouth over my cock.  All thoughts of whether Blaine had done this before or any jealousy that might have stemmed from that flew out the window as he practically moaned around me, clearly enjoying it as much as I was.  My hands found themselves laced in his hair and I was just blissfully lost in the moment of being with him.

Blaine seemed to know exactly what I liked; what I needed.  As I felt the familiar tightening under my skin, the warmth in my belly he pulled off and climbed back up my body.

His arms bracketed my head as we just stared at each other before Blaine leaned down to brush his lips against mine.  "Um, do you have...?"

"In my bag," I said, blushing.  We're naked together, there is no reason to blush at this point.

He smirked at me and once again I was left feeling cold and needing him closer.  I reached for him as he walked back to me, dimly lit from the boat lights on the water outside the windows.

This time, when I felt the weight of Blaine on top of me and we couldn't help but rock together, there was a new ferocity, a desperation behind it.  Blaine's kisses were harder and more passionate and I gave back as good as I got.

I don't know when he had slicked up his fingers, but suddenly I felt him pressing at my entrance and I sighed at the sensation.  "God, Blaine," I whined, rocking my hips up toward him and loving the delicious friction I received.

"Kurt," he breathed.  He couldn't seem to keep his mouth off of me, always mapping my skin, occasionally coming back to my mouth like a fresh drink of water each time.  He stretched me slowly, taking his time and pressing that spot inside me so precisely until I was arching off the bed and practically begging for him to be inside me.

When Blaine finally pushed inside me, we were both so worked up we were breathing roughly and sticky with sweat.  I didn't care.  Blaine's eyes were dark and concentrated on my face the entire time, as if searching for something.  When we were flush together, as close as we could possibly be, that didn't seem to be enough for Blaine.  He buried his face in my neck and pushed my knees toward my chest.  It was hot and intimate and perfect.

Blaine thrust into me and I threw my head back, my hands grabbing at the skin of his shoulders.  It was agonizing and wonderful as Blaine kept up his pace for a while before lifting me up and changing the angle, then all I felt was a thrum of pleasure.

"I can't--" I tried to say, and arched my back as Blaine once again brushed that spot inside me.

"Come on, Kurt," Blaine said, picking up his pace.  Our mouths found each other again, but not really kissing--we just shared breath.  Blaine caught my cry in his mouth as I tipped over the edge and that seemed to set him off, as well.  He came with my name on his lips, still rocking into me so that every sensation was heightened in my oversensitivity.

We came down together, refusing to part.  He finally rolled off of me slightly, one leg and one arm still slung over my body and pulling me closer to him.  I turned my head to look at him so that I could memorize him in that moment.  If I thought sleepy Blaine was worth remembering, post-orgasm Blaine I wanted to have permanently branded into my memory forever.  His hair was sweaty and tousled from where I had run my hands through it, his lips were kiss-swollen, and his entire body was flush from exertion.  But the look in his eyes as he stared back at me--hooded, dark, peaceful, loving--that was the best part.

"I love you," I told him.

"I love you so much, Kurt," he said quietly.  "I always have.  And I always will."

Kurt fell asleep not long after they had been together.  Blaine was wide awake still an hour later.  He couldn't sleep.  He just lay there with Kurt, combing his hand through his hair as he watched his steady breathing.

Blaine wanted to break something; he was frustrated and angry.  He finally truly understood by what people meant when they said that life was unfair.  What was the purpose of bringing them back together just so that Kurt would be ripped from him?  To teach him a lesson?  If that was the case, Blaine thought it was a stupid way of doing so.  He hated that he didn't have any answers.

What was wrong with Kurt?  Was it cancer?  Or would Kurt be right and it would just be a cruel accident like a car crash?  Blaine buried his face in his pillow and inhaled, the scent of Kurt already permeating the fabric.  It wasn't fair.

Blaine fell asleep clinging to Kurt with a frown on his face.  For the first time that he could remember, he slept fitfully.

They woke up together and made love again as the sun rose over the water then napped a few hours more.  At ten, they took a shower together--content to enjoy every opportunity to enjoy each other.  In the waking hours, watching Kurt laugh and smile, Blaine found himself sometimes forgetting what he knew.  He loved the way the early morning light hit Kurt as they had a picnic breakfast on the beach or even the look of sheer disapproval when Blaine playfully offered to bury him under the sand.

After lunch, they wandered to the Goat Island lighthouse as Kurt listened to Blaine talk about how long he had been a "friend."  He told him as much as he could remember.  He didn't know if every child had an imaginary friend, but he sincerely hoped so.

They found another restaurant on the water at the Cape for dinner and afterward went back to their cottage.  Blaine wasn't surprised that they couldn't seem to keep their hands off of each other.  Being with Kurt was one of the best feelings he had ever experienced.  They loved each other, and during the night they loved learning more about each other as they explored each other's bodies.

The next day, they spent the entire day out on the water on a whale watching excursion, even though it wasn't quite the right time in the season to actually see any whales.  They saw plenty of seals and learned about the lobster harvesting.  And Blaine would always have the memory of Kurt shrieking as a gull dived to try and get the packet of crackers he'd had in his hands on the deck.  It was completely ridiculous and completely wonderful and Blaine didn't want any of it to end.

After their day spent outdoors, they once again retreated to the cottage.  It shocked them both a little at the ferocity and desperation with which they made love that evening.  Blaine tried to pour everything he couldn't say into the act and hoped that Kurt would understand; would remember.  He wanted to give Kurt everything.  He wanted to protect him and keep him safe.

Once again, that night Blaine found himself unable to sleep.  He noticed how the sounds of Maine were so unlike that of New York.  There was no constant hum of cars and people, instead only the quiet sound of crickets and the water outside their window.  And it was so dark.

Blaine marveled over the past few days; over the time since he had first rediscovered Kurt.  Getting to know him as an adult had become more than anything he could have ever imagined.  He still didn't understand it, but all questioning it ever did was make him more frustrated.  Blaine wanted to imagine a future with them together past this trip, but he couldn't let himself hope like that.

Blaine sat up and rubbed his face before turning to look back at Kurt, sleeping peacefully next to him.  He would do literally anything to save him.

Then Blaine had an idea.  It hurt, but what if it was the only way?  His job was to help Kurt out of the world, right?  But what if he wasn't there to do that?

Blaine reached out to stroke down Kurt's arm and it pained him to think about leaving him like that.  But what if there was some sort of chance that he could cheat the system?  He had to try.  He had to.

Blaine tore himself away from Kurt's resting form and began to quickly and quietly repack his bags.  The entire time just thinking, Kurt can't die.  This will work.  It has to.

Blaine couldn't risk waking Kurt, so he prevented himself from kissing him good-bye.  He gave one last look before slipping out the door.

He reached the reception desk and had them call a cab.  He decided to wait outside and found that it was raining, but he didn't care.  He couldn't breathe.  His legs wanted to crumble beneath him.  And finally, real, heavy tears began rolling down his cheeks.

There had to be hope.  Kurt can't die now.

I woke up the next morning smiling to myself, feeling so incredibly comfortable, happy, and safe.  I stretched out, reaching for Blaine on the other side of the bed but found that it was empty and cold.

I checked the clock.  It was past ten.  I couldn't believe he had let us sleep in that late--every day so far he had plans for us.

I thought maybe he decided to let us be lazy today but I noticed that the room seemed emptier.

"Blaine?" I called tentatively, and I paused hoping beyond hope that he would answer from the bathroom.  No such luck.  "Blaine?  Are you here?"

I got up and searched the cottage.  "Blaine?"  I was becoming frantic now.  Blaine wasn't there.

There was no note and I checked my phone for messages but came up empty as well.  I couldn't believe it.  He couldn't have.  He couldn't have just vanished on me again.  Why would he leave me again?  After everything?

The little cottage was lit up with the early morning sun, but I could tell that it was clouded over outside.  It would have been the perfect day to go bike riding.  I didn't know if I was furious, worried, or simply heartbroken.

I sat on the bed and felt the tears well up.  I wiped them away before they could fall.

This time I wouldn't forget him, because there was no way I could forgive Blaine for breaking my heart twice.