June 18, 2012, 3:25 p.m.
Coffee Shop Soundtrack: Chapter 19 - Poison and Wine
E - Words: 2,297 - Last Updated: Jun 18, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 21/21 - Created: Mar 29, 2012 - Updated: Jun 18, 2012 1,055 0 2 0 0
The second time Kurt woke up that morning, he turned over to find that Blaine was no longer sleeping next to him and had a mini panic attack, wondering where he had gone. He sat up quickly and looked around the room before his eyes came to rest on a note sitting on the bedside table. He picked it up and read over it quickly.
"Kurt,
I went out to get some coffee and breakfast. You can use the shower if you want. Be back soon.
x – B."
Kurt smiled at the paper before setting it back down on the bedside table and laying back down, looking at the ceiling. So the night before hadn't been a dream. It had actually happened. Kurt smiled at the thought as he laid there, knowing that things were finally working out.
As he laid there, he started to get more and more nervous, though. The two of them hadn't necessarily talked everything out before they got intimate, and that somewhat scared him. What if they talked when Blaine got back and decided that they moved too fast? Kurt had been terrified of doing exactly that or doing something to hurt Blaine the night before.
Deciding that if he laid there any longer he would probably go insane, Kurt stood and pulled his boxers on then made his way down the hall. Blaine had said it was okay to use the shower and he was feeling dirty, and Kurt decided it would probably be the best thing to help him clear his mind.
Blaine couldn't have been in a better mood when he woke up in the morning. It was about seven when he woke up and when he couldn't fall back asleep, he decided to shower then get some food for the two of them. The two of them. Blaine's heart leapt at the thought. The previous night was real. It had actually happened, and Kurt was still sleeping peacefully – and looking rather adorable – in his bed.
Blaine got up quietly, so as not to disturb the sleeping boy, pulled on some boxers and ventured out into the living room. Thankfully, Trent still wasn't home – and Blaine was assuming that meant his date went well – so he took his time showering and getting ready. By eight, he was dressed and ready, save for his damp hair, to head out. He scribbled out a quick note for Kurt (signed with a cute little "x" which made Blaine smile to himself) and then headed out the door.
His walk to his work went by pretty quickly, partially because Blaine was incredibly excited to get back home to the boy in his bed.
The boy in his bed.
The thought alone almost managed to make his heart skip a beat and he knew he was probably grinning like an idiot while he walked down the street, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He had earned it. As much as Blaine's friends and family would give him shit about being a "pushover" he decided it was worth it if he got Kurt in the end.
When he walked in the door of his work, Melissa's smiling face greeted him. "You look happy," She commented as he approached the counter.
He shrugged and could feel himself blushing, "Maybe I am."
She raised an eyebrow at his response and when he didn't say anything else she just rolled her eyes, "So let me guess, your usual?"
Blaine grinned to himself before replying, "Yeah. And I'm going to need a grande nonfat mocha and another bear claw." He wasn't sure if Kurt liked pastries, but he figured he would grab one for him.
"Wait, isn't that Kurt's…" Melissa trailed off, trying to piece things together in her head before her eyes widened almost comically. "No! No way!"
Blaine just grinned in response, "Yeah…"
"No way!" She exclaimed again, "Oh my god and he stayed the night?"
Blaine laughed, "Yeah, he's sleeping right now."
"Oh my god!" She was practically jumping up and down behind the counter and then immediately went to work making the drinks, "You need to get back! You have to be there when he wakes up!"
"Alright, alright," Blaine chuckled, rolling his eyes. He handed her his money then waited for her to finish making the drinks, which were done almost immediately.
"Get out of here," Melissa almost yelled, handing him his coffee and pastries, "And text me later!"
At that, Blaine started the walk back to his house, the reality of things sinking in. He and Kurt had sex. Kurt was probably still asleep in his bed. He was buying Kurt coffee.
I could get used to this.
Though he knew that the two of them would need to have a serious talk about their relationship, or whatever it was, he didn't want to worry about it on the way home. Things were finally falling into place and he didn't want to ruin it by over thinking things.
When he opened his apartment door at about nine, Trent was sitting in the kitchen reading the newspaper. His heart immediately sped up and he hoped that Kurt was still asleep because he wanted to be the one to tell Trent instead of him finding out awkwardly. When he saw that his bedroom door was shut and Trent didn't say anything snarky, he safely assumed that he didn't know. Yet.
As he stepped into the kitchen, Trent glanced up from his paper, "Good morning."
"Morning," Blaine offered in response, his heart racing. He was excited to see Kurt and he was excited to tell Trent about things.
"Drinking two coffees today? Or is one of those mine?" Trent asked, still looking up at him with an amused look playing across his face.
"Actually…" Blaine started, setting his things down, "One of them is for Kurt."
Trent raised an eyebrow, "Then why aren't you at Kurt's house giving it to him? And I thought you two weren't talking…"
"Well, we're talking now. And uh… I'm not at his house because he's here. He's uh… He's sleeping in my room."
Trent looked at him as if he were crazy for a moment before speaking, "Uh… Are you sure about that?"
Blaine laughed nervously, "I'm pretty sure. He was still sleeping when I left."
A worried look suddenly crossed Trent's face and if Blaine hadn't been in such a cheerful mood, he probably would have noticed it, but he seemed to ignore it. "Blaine…" Trent started, unsure of what to say, "I just got here not even five minutes ago and I went in your room to see if you were sleeping or at work and nobody was in there."
Refusing to believe that Kurt just left, Blaine rolled his eyes, "Well he's probably showering. Did you check the bathroom?"
Trent nodded carefully, "Was just in there…"
In about one second, Blaine's mood went from amazing to terrible. Without thinking, he dropped the pastries on the floor and ran straight to the bedroom. The door slammed open and Blaine's heart sank when he was met with an empty bed and an empty room. He then dashed to the bathroom, ignoring Trent who was trying to stop him, and was even more devastated when Kurt wasn't in there either.
"Blaine stop," Trent's voice was pleading as Blaine ran from the bathroom back to his room again, but he was ignored.
Blaine immediately started going through his room. Kurt boots and all of his clothes from the night before were gone. There was no sign of the other boy, and had he not seen him earlier in the morning, he would have thought that the night before was just a dream. But he had definitely been there. The note that Blaine had written that morning was proof, and it was still sitting on the bedside table. Blaine's heart leapt when he saw more writing on the paper, though, and he grabbed it quickly to read it. It was mostly crossed out, but he could still read it.
"Blaine, I think we should
I don't
We need to
I'm sorry"
So Kurt had left. He had actually left.
Blaine wasn't even sure what he was feeling. He wasn't even aware that he had sunk to the floor next to his bed until he felt Trent's hands on his shoulders. His face was wet with tears which he wasn't even aware that he had shed and tremors were running though his body. He buried his head in his hands before choking out a sob.
Trent was then on the floor next to him, holding him as he cried into his hands. He couldn't figure out why Kurt would have just left without calling or even leaving a proper note. Things had been so wonderful and beautiful and perfect the night before and he had no idea why he would just leave. Things finally seemed to be working out. He wasn't sure how long he was like that, but he finally managed to calm his breathing enough to speak. "I don't get it," He managed to choke out, "Why?"
Trent shook his head, "Because he's a fucking idiot?"
"But I don't… Oh god," Blaine choked out, "We had sex. And he just left."
"I'm so sorry," Trent offered, knowing it probably wouldn't help.
"I'm so stupid," Blaine sobbed, "I let him sweet talk me into sex and then he just left. God, I should have seen this coming."
"Please don't blame yourself, Blaine," Trent said, rather harsh.
"Well what else am I supposed to do?" Blaine almost snapped, pulling away from his roommates hug.
"Maybe be pissed at him for once," Trent half yelled back, "I'm sick of seeing you beat yourself up over shit with him. He keeps fucking you over again and again and it's about time you get mad at him for it."
"But I-" Blaine attempted to argue but was cut off. Trent was right. Cooper was right. Everyone was right. He knew he needed to stop being mad at himself and stop forgiving Kurt so easily.
"No," Trent shook his head, "But nothing. I know you're really upset, but you need to be upset with him, not yourself."
Blaine sighed in defeat. He knew it was true. As much as he wanted to see the good in everyone, it was bringing him down. He had given Kurt multiple chances, and he managed to mess almost every single one up.
"I just thought he was the one… you know?" Blaine finally said, sniffling, "Things just felt so right with him…"
"I know…" Trent sighed, "And I know it's hard for you. But if he comes crawling back, you need to make him work for it."
"I think I fucked up, Rachel," Kurt said into the phone around nine thirty that morning, "Big time."
"Well I'll be back in a few, I'm just getting coffee," Rachel replied, "Do you want anything?"
"No."
"Are you going to be okay until I get back?" Her voice was concerned.
"I don't know," Kurt answered honestly.
"I'll hurry," Rachel said worriedly then hung up, leaving Kurt alone with his thoughts.
Up until he got to his apartment, Kurt's mind was numb. He hadn't even realized he had walked that far until he was pulling out his keys and unlocking his door. And it wasn't until he got in the door that he realized that he was making a mistake. His keys immediately dropped to the floor as he muttered out, "What am I doing?"
When Rachel got back to their apartment Kurt was sitting on the couch, his knees curled up to his chest and his head in his hands. Rachel didn't have to look twice to know that Kurt was crying and she immediately dropped her things and rushed to the couch, "Honey, what happened?" Kurt hadn't bothered to explain on the phone, but she assumed it had something to do with Blaine.
"I'm so fucking stupid," Kurt choked out, sobbing into his arms.
Rachel sat for a moment rubbing his back and letting him cry until her curiosity was killing her, "Kurt, hun, I can't help until you tell me what's wrong."
"I'm an idiot, that's what's wrong," Kurt managed, lifting his head to look at Rachel. His eyes were red from crying and he wiped them before speaking again, "Everything was perfect and I fucked it up. I stayed at Blaine's last night and things were great and then I woke up this morning and I freaked out and left. I don't even know why I did it. One minute I was showering and the next I was walking in our door."
"Oh honey…" Rachel said softly, hugging him. When they pulled apart she cleared her throat, "Did you two… you know…"
Kurt nodded, "Yeah… Which makes it even worse… I think I was scared that we rushed things and everything just suddenly seemed to real this morning and I got scared but-"
"But you shouldn't have left," Rachel finished for him.
He nodded, "God, I'm so stupid. And things felt so right last night. And now I've fucked it up…"
"Did you try calling?" Rachel asked.
"Right when I got home," Kurt replied immediately, "It went straight to voicemail."
"And you want to be with him?"
"God you have no idea, Rachel," Kurt said, wiping more tears off of his face, "I feel like an idiot. I finally did something right… Things were going great, so naturally I had to fuck it up. And now he won't answer and I've probably ruined my chance…"
"Maybe not," Rachel replied, trying not to be too negative, "But if you really want him like you say you do, you know you're going to have to fight pretty hard for him, right?"
"I'll do anything," Kurt choked out, "I need him. I think I love him, Rachel…"
Comments
Kurt just astounds me with his obtuse-ness! Ugh so many feels for Blaine, poor boy. I do sorta want him to stand up to Kurt, because he is treating him like shit- maybe not intentionally but never the less it's hurting poor Blaine. But I also want them together so bad. Can't wait to see how you finish Up the last two chapters :) good luck x
I'm seriously going to cry.I was all "How cuteee awee coffee- WHAAT?!"