Chapter 1: the story of us (do we even have a story?)

Today is the day .this day meant a lot for people, not only from district 2 but from all over Gleenem, this day meant life or death for them all…and still there were people who actually wanted to go.to me…it didn't mean a thing. Nothing meant something to me because nothing had consicwences.my life was boring, no matter what I did; it always cost the same boring result. Why would I want to live if I have nothing to live for?

I died when I was 9, about 9 years ago and Im just waiting for the world to approve it. I don't remember a lot from my old life, I remember my mom, the way she died when I was 8,my dad, how the Gleetol people took me away from him to my own good Couse he couldn't take care of me anymore, I remember that Gleenems president-Sue Sylvester was a very good friend of my mother and she cared a lot about me and called me Porcelain .but there are so many things I don't remember, what district I came from, whats my birthday and some stuff I know Im supposed to remember but I dont. I don't know how it works but sometimes, when I hear people talk about my previous life…some of the things that they talked about just appear as a memory in my head. I have a lot of friends here; my best friend is Mercedes Jones. She was the first kid to ever speak to me when I first went to school here; she complimented me over my marc Jacobss jacket. And Im gay. Not that being gay was a bad thing at district 2; half of the guys here were gays so it wasn't as wrong as it is on the other districts (from what I have heard).

And now, here I am. Lying on the roof of my house, seeing how slowly the clouds are moving. I always came here when I wanted to be alone (something that happened a lot) it's the only silence place in the entire district! It was when I saw the familiar airship (Shannon Beiste was in it (she was the one hosting the reaping ceremony all over the country)) that I decided to get off the roof, enter my house and to meet my mothers reaping-day face.

Well she wasn't really my mother, she adopted me when I first got here, she had a boy about my age but one day he just didn't come home…they found his body 3 weeks later. And then I came, we have been through a lot together…she is my mother.

As if it was a normal day, the first thing Lolita (thats my mothers name) did was pulling me into a hug, and then gone back to washing the dishes.

"How was your day?" she asked.

"Normal, looking for an inspiration," I said as I opened the refrigerator, grabbing an apple.

"No school?"

"No," I said simply.

"Oh Kurt, today is a really bad day to skip school, you need your training," she said looking at me with her big brown eyes. And the reaping drama begins.

"Mom please, I don't need any training, and I can beat anyone with my eyes closed." I said. I know it sound cocky but its true!

"You can bit anyone from this district but you are going to fight against people from all of the other districts, how do you know they are not going to kill you?!"

"So what? I don't really mind dying," I said simply and she almost threw the plate she was washing, at me.

"Don't talk like that!" She yelled and I chuckled.

"Relax mom," Lolita was a great mom, a little paranoid, but great. I pulled her into a quick hug and went to my room, taking a towel and clean clothes and getting into the shower.

"You have one hour to get ready," I heard her saying and locked the bathroom door behind me. "By the way! Someone came here for you today; I think he is from your class….tall, green eyes, blonde…?"

"Yeah, I know, saw him from the roof," I answered.

"So why haven't you came down to say hello?"

"I didn't want to mom, this guy have been flirting with me for a month now,"

"Thats great! He was hot!"

"Mother!" I yelled in shock, I wasn't ready to have this type of conversion with my mom.

"What?!Thats true! Dont you think he is hot?" she asked and I heard she finished washing the dishes.

"He is, but I don't want be with him," I said.

"Why?"

"its just doesn't feel right, "I said, I wasn't sure how to feel, every time I liked a guy and he liked me back, there was always some strange feeling inside of me that practically begged me not to be with that guy. "Maybe he is not my type," I lied. I didn't need another problem on my head.

"He said he will come back tomorrow."

"If I will survive this day," I joked but I regretted when she didn't speak for a few minutes "Im joking mom," I said and came out of the shower, drying my hair with the towel. She had a sad smile over her face.

"I know you are, but…"her voice broke.

"Stop it," I said and took her hands, I didn't want to see her cry." Im not going anywhere,"

"Its not your call, what if-"I cut her off.

"We are done talking about this," I said and sat on the living room couch, looking for something to watch on TV.

"I don't want you to go," she said and a tear fell down her face.

"Grow up mom; everything is going to be okay. I promise." I said and she nodded. We shared a smile.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Haymitch Abernathy, the winner of the 50th Glee Games!" I heard the last sentence of that game and started watching the next Glee Game.

"Are you coming to the reaping little brother?" I heard coopers cocky voice coming from behind me.

"We have 5 minutes," I said and pressed fast forward until the last 6 tributes. I have been watching the games since I realized I have a real chance of getting picked as a tribute. If Im going to get picked, Im going to win…or at least, Im not going to die so easily.

"You are acting like a career tribute," he said, ran his hand through his perfect hair and took a sip from his coffee.

"Its none of your business, you cannot get picked." I said and watched another killing made.

"You are only 17 and still so crazy…mom and dad are outside waiting for us, we need to go."

"They are probably praying for me to go. Everybody wants they gay kid dead." I said and closed the TV "lets don't make them wait shall we?" I said charming as always and cooper rolled his eyes.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to go .I really dont want to go. I have stuff to do in my life, and Im not ready to lose it yet .but even if Ill have to fight for my life in the arena, I want to be ready.

Cooper and I went to the town square wearing out best cloths. As we finely stood in our places; I heard the voice of Shannon Beiste testing the microphone…

"1…2…2….3, testing!" her rough voice filled the air. They totally picked the wrong person for the job. They should have picked some elegant and fluffy person not a woman that should have been a football coach. "Happy Glee Games everybody!" she called happily and no one responded. Which made me chuckled. "well then…Im here to select one young man and one young woman for the honor of representing district 10 at the 109th Glee Games!" she clapped her hands together. They absolutely picked the wrong person for this part, but I will go with it. "Ladies first," she said and walked to the pink bowl, digging inside of it trying to find the right note. After a few long moments that made most women in the crowd to eat their nails, she came back to the microphone opened the note and read it out loud…

"Rachel Berry!" She called happily." come on up, girl." she said and I saw soldiers wearing white tracksuits walking and grabbing the girl from where ever she was. Now I could see her face. Big brown eyes, brown hair with bangs and she was short (like me).I knew that girl…she was the one I almost got killed because. I didn't like her (its not that I knew her very well…) but she had 2 gay dads so I gave her a sympathetic look as everybody did. She looked so scared on that stage.

"And now the boy," Shannon said and went to the blue bowl. Cooper took a step closer to me at the exact same moment I took a step closer to him. It took her a few minutes but she came back to the microphone and said…

"Blaine Anderson!" she called and the entire audience looked at my direction. I looked around for a few times looking for the horrified face that everybody looked at. Then I realized they were actually looking at me. I got picked to participate in the Glee Games. I froze. I couldn't move or breathe. I think my blood froze as well I think my heart stopped beating. I saw how three of those track suits guys came to me and took me to the stage .I stood in front of Rachel, we both looked at each other and I could tell she is trying just as hard to stop the tears as I did, I felt so sorry for both of us.

"Shake hands," Shannon ordered and we did so. "Happy Glee Games everybody!" Was the last thing she said. They took me to a room back stage and asked who I wanted to see. I immediately answered Cooper. Only Cooper. A guard brought him 10 minutes later.

"You have 3 minutes." the guard said. Cooper and I stared at each other for a few seconds before running into each others arms.

"Blaine Im so sorry!" He said and hugged me tighter.

"Why? you had nothing to do with it," I tried to relax him." And I had my name in there 6 times…"I said trying not to cry. Those were our last minutes together and I didn't want to spend them on crying.

"That's not fair! People asked for their names to be there 40 times!"

"They done it so their familys wont starve. We are lucky enough to have money and a nice house-"

"Win." Cooper said and I raise an eyebrow" promise,"

"I cant promise that," I said and looked down.

"You can at least try," he said but I refused to listen.

"I don't have a shot against those career tributes, they will eat me alive."

"No they wont, you watched all the games at least 10 million times, and you know some strategies and ways to kill or stay alive, how to get sponsors, you can do this!" he said and I thought for a second before I answered

"Fine, but I cant promise anything," that was enough to make Cooper smile.

"Good."

"You have a minute," the guard said.

"Okay, Ive brought you something," cooper said reaching for his back pocket and taking out a wrist-watch.it was black and simple, I saw Cooper wearing it in special accessions. "Just something so you will remember me,"

"How can I ever forget you?" I said and he smiled. He handed me the wrist-watch." Its yours…"

"Not anymore," he said and put the watch in my hand.

"are you  giving it to me?"

"Its not just the watch, press the right botton." He said and I did. Then I saw something I thought Im never going to see again.

"Where…where did you find it…? I thought I burned it…"

"You missed a few pictures I guess," he said and I hugged him again." I knew you are going to like it,"

The tracksuits men came to take me. I gave Cooper one last hug and went with them, knowing there is no way for me to get out of there. I was on the train to the Gleetol, watching as district 10 disappeared behind me. I left everything behind, my friends, my brother, my precious bow-ties and my entire life…and no I have nothing but my new Wristwatch and the short life Ive left.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

I just cant forget Beistes voice calling my name. The way I suddenly froze, that I couldn't move, the way my mother started crying like crazy and I couldn't even go and tell her everything is going to be fine (even thought I know it wouldn't change anything for her is I did).I got to tell her that in the end, at the 3 minutes I got to say goodbye…

Surprisingly, we didn't spend all of our time crying. At the last two minutes she said…

"I need to tell you something. And you need to promise me not to say a word before I finish." I was very confuse but I nodded" before you got here, the Gleetol deleted your memory but it didn't worked and no one know about it, when you came into my house, still remembering your life, you were so depressed and sad and you didn't talk for days, not to me or anybody else. Then, a few weeks later I asked you what can I do to help and you told me that nothing because you miss your boyfriend."

"I had a boyfriend?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Apparently. And then you told me everything,"

"So you know a lot about my life," I said more to myself" oh my god! You have to tell me! Which district I r03;r03;come from? How did my life look like? Whats my boyfriends name was? How long we were together?" I asked.

"You came from district 10 and I guess you had a very nice life considering how sad you were when you figure out you cant get them back…oh! And since you were so depressed, you asked me to make that they will erase your memory again."

"I did?" I asked confused. Was I that pathetic? How was I ready to lose all of my memories just because of a 9 year old boyfriend?

"Yes." She said and the guard entered the room.

"Your time is up." He said and I hugged my mom one last long hug.

"here," she said and let out some package from her purse." watch this when you get the chance." she said and I took the package, not knowing what on earth could be in there.

"I love you," I said to her and she smiled, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Love you too," she said softly. "Come back to me okay?" She asked and I nodded. A second before she got out of the room I asked her what was my boyfriends name. She told me and that was the last time I saw her.

And now, Im on a train to the Gleetol, Mercedes on the room next to me probably tearful like Im supposed to, but I just cant. I try so hard to remember, to think about every possible memory his name bring up to me. But nothing. so I just keep thinking about what this name mean to me….

Blaine.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

I lay down on the bed in my train compartment, staring at the stars drawing on the ceiling. Rachel was on the room next door, crying her eyes out and talking to herself about how much she lost and how miserable she is. We didn't talk at all since the tracksuits guys locked us in this train together. I really didn't know what to do with myself, I wanted to cry so badly but I couldnt. I knew Kurt wouldn't want me to, he would say that everything will be okay and that Im going to win and then we will have another great story to tell out grandchildren. But it doesn't matter what Kurt would say, Couse he is probably dead. I didn't saw him in 10 years and now I never will because Im going to die. And surprisingly, I think Im handling it pretty well.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

I looked over and over at the package Lolita gave me, wondering what is in there.it took me awhile before I opened it, but when I did…I found a C.so I decided to go to the TV room and check it out. I waited for it to load. I stopped it the moment it started. Why was it so painful? I ran everything I know in my head…my father name was Burt, my mom name was Elizabeth ,president sue Sylvester was my moms friend, she came to visit us a lot, my mom died from cancer when I was 8 years old…since my dad had to work all day, no one could take care of me , Sue  thought that I deserve to have normal life so she took me away from home(that apparently was district 10)and brought me to district 2 after deleting my memory. But I can still remember if someone talks to me about it. And after what Lolita said, some of it comes back, and I cant say it made me feel good. Nothing made sense, its impossible to have feelings for someone you cant remember, right? After a few minutes of deep breathing I pressed play and the video started.

A small living room, gray floor, white walls and a little boy sitting on an old couch watching TV. The camera focused on him and I could see the boys face, brown hair, porcelain skin, blue-green eyes and an upset look. I obviously know that boy…it was me .suddenly, me and the young me heard a voice.

"Are you mad at me?" a small voice said and the cameraman turned around, now the camera showed another boy. He was short, had dark brown curly hair and the most amazing hazel eyes I have ever seen.

"Im not talking to you," Ive heard a high voice that was actually little me. "Go away."

"I know, you always watch those games when you are mad at me," he said and walked closer to the couch where little me sat." But thats normal. You are so mad at me you want to kill someone, but you cant so you just watch people get killed." The curly boy said but little me didn't move an inch.

"You know he learned it from you, you done this to me all the time." Ive heard a voice that sounded really close to the camera.

"I didn't do it for fun Burt, you asked for it." a female voice said, also closed to the camera. Wait! She called him Burt, so the man is my dad. Which means this woman was my…mother." This is going to their wedding video, they are so cute together!" she whispered again.

"Come on Kurt, you cant be mad at me forever," the boy said but I didn't looked.

"Watch me," I said and looked at the TV where a 16 year old girl killed a 12 year old boy with her bare hands. Oh my... I was watching a Glee Game.

"I refuse to do that, you had no reason to be jealous, we were just talking…"

"You were just flirting." I corrected him." and I was not jealous..."

"Why are you so mad then? Is your not jealous…"he asked and sat next to me on the couch. I didn't answered, and I think that's because little me didn't know what to say." you are living me no choice Kurtsie," he said "you know what Im going to do, and I don't care that your parents are looking at us," he said and I immediately looked around until little me looked straight to the camera, looking even more angry then before.

"Mom! Dad! Go away!" little me yelled and I heard my parents laugh behind of the camera.

"We are very sorry for interrupting you love birds, come on Burt, they are having a moment." My mom said and closed the camera. The video ended, but I knew…I remembered what happened next.

I remembered what happened that day, I saw him talking to a blonde girl called Rose after out math class instead of coming with me so I ignored him for the rest of the day, then he came into my house while I was watching the 98th Glee Games, he tried talking to me but I refuse and then…he started singing.

I used to think one day wed tell the story of us

How we met and the sparks flew instantly

People would say theyre the lucky ones he sang softly, his voice filling the room. I didn't look at him but I was smiling. That boy could really sing.

I used to know my place was a spot next to you

Now Im searching the room for an empty seat

Cause lately I dont even know what page youre on   he leaned his head on my shoulder and stood up, starting to dance around the room, both me and little me chuckled.

Oh a simple complication

Miscommunications lead to fall-out

Too many things that I wish you knew

So many walls that I cant break through

Now Im standing alone in a crowded room and were not speaking

And Im dying to know is it killing you like its killing me   he looked at me and I sent him a smile that says I already forgave you.

I dont know what to say, its a twist of fate when it all broke down

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

Howd we end up this way?

See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy

Youre doing your best to avoid me

I started to think one day Id tell the story of us

How I was losing my mind when I saw you here

But you held your pride like you shouldve held me he raised his eyebrow at me and like I could read his mind I started singing.

Oh, Im scared to see the ending

Why are we pretending this is nothing?

Id tell you I miss you but I dont know how

Ive never heard silence quite this loud

Now Im standing alone in a crowded room and were not speaking

And Im dying to know is it killing you like its killing me, yeah.

I dont know what to say, its a twist of fate when it all broke down

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now we walked closer to each other.

This is looking like a contest   he sang at me

Of who can act like the careless?   I sang back.

But I liked it better when you were on my side

The battles in your hands now

But I would lay my armor down

If you say youd rather love than fight

So many things that you wished I knew

But the story of us might be ending soon

Now Im standing alone in a crowded room and were not speaking

And Im dying to know is it killing you like its killing me, yeah

I dont know what to say, its a twist of fate when it all broke down

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now

And were not speaking

And Im dying to know is it killing you like its killing me, yeah

I dont know what to say, its a twist of fate cause were going down

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now 

We ended really close and we both laughed. He jumped on me and wrapped his arms around my neck; my arms automatically went around his hips.

"Im sorry, I shouldn't react that way…."I said and he smiled at me and pulled back.

"Thats fine; its not your fault."

"Yes it is, I just….I cant see you with anyone who is not me…"I admitted blushed a little.

"I love you,"

"I obviously love you too," I said and the rest was pretty vague. But I knew for sure that we didn't kiss. Why didn't we kiss? It seems like we were really in love, and thats so weird…how could I be in love when Im (wait how old was I then?) 7 years old? Whatever Blaine and me had back then wasn't real.it cant be. And now I have only slight chance to find out. I wish I wouldn't get picked. Everything will be perfect if I didnt .I  would be at home, at school, with my friends, maybe I would have got a boyfriend…I always wanted to remember what Ive lost but now I wasn't so sure….like the world was trying to get back at me, my memory just got back another little piece.

After we made up, my parents came back down and apologized for spying after us and gave me the CD I just watched, then me and Blaine got back to my room and he stayed the night.

I really wanted to know where he is right now…if he is happy, if he got himself a boyfriend (I hated myself for hating the thought of him having a boyfriend)…does he think of me? Does he even remember? I didn't even notice when I fell asleep...