Nov. 22, 2014, 6 p.m.
Beginning to See the Light: Home
E - Words: 6,648 - Last Updated: Nov 22, 2014 Story: Complete - Chapters: 20/? - Created: Feb 28, 2014 - Updated: Feb 28, 2014 232 0 0 0 0
Im sorry for the last chapter! I didnt mean to ruin your hopes and dreams... OMG your reviews are hilarious... I had KADAM and KLAINE shippers all over my review section... but nevertheless, I had my mind set how this fic will progress so Im sorry if your ship didnt become the endgame for this story...
I also enjoyed answering your reviews, it was my first time responding, but I think I wont make a habit on it.
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Blaine struggled for air and hastily untied his bowtie and undid three of the buttons of his white dress shirt as he slowly replays the scene he witnessed earlier.
Kurt is with another man...with the other mans child. Kurt has his own family.
Blaine held his palms together under the faucet as he fills it with water and splashed the content on his face. "Wake up, Blaine! Wake up! This is just another nightmare." He chanted desperately and splashed his face with water again. "Please... please... let it all be a dream..." Blaine wished dreadfully, for this is the worst nightmare he ever had, but then again... this isnt just his imagination. There is no way he could wake up from this because this is his reality now; a sad and painful reality that is.
He watched on the mirror in front of him as the droplets of water, mixed with his own tears, land on his necklace. Its a simple long stainless steel lace that stops just below his clavicle and with the two platinum rings as its pendant... his and Kurts wedding ring.
More than five years ago, he was married to the love of his life, but he was just too stupid to acknowledge it. He let his emotions cloud his judgment and made horrible things that eventually led Kurt away from him. And when he finally succeeded on pushing Kurt, he immediately realized that it was the biggest mistake of his life.
The night he found the wedding ring on the floor, he knew that Kurt had given up on him and left him with nothing else, but up to this date, Blaine still wonders if Kurt was aware that he took Blaines heart with him when he left.
Throughout the years, Blaine clung onto their cliché wedding vows of Till death do us part. Even if he and Kurt werent together anymore, those words help him strive to live every single day. Only death can separate him from Kurt, and hell fight death until he has Kurt in his arms again. But now, he is having second thoughts as he remembered how Kurts lips curved into a smile when he lifted the child into his arms and leaned on Adams arms for balance. Maybe death isnt the only thing that can keep them apart... maybe seeing Kurt happy with another man can make him finally give up on his fantasy that he and Kurt are meant for each other.
And for the last five years, even if he is just taking a shower, he never took off the necklace once he had worn it. With Pickles gone, he was too scared to lose the only other thing that bounded him to Kurt. But as he watched himself fiddles the ring between his fingers on the mirror of the restroom, he thought that maybe now he has a reason to take it off.
Blaines thoughts were disrupted by a succeeding loud knock on the door followed by the voice of a man shouting "Ouvrir la porte sil vous plaît, jai eu vraiment envie de faire pipi." Blaine wasnt French, nor did he spoke their language, but he still understood that he needs to get out of the loo and let the other customers use it.
He quickly wiped the remnants of water on his face, fastened his buttons, straightened his shirt and wore his deep blue blazer again. He paused first, closed his eyes and breathed in deeply before unlocking and exiting the restroom. "Sorry." He said sincerely to the man waiting outside the door and then searched for the table where Kurt and Adam are.
Yes, he made another stupid decision. He should have decline Kurts offer of dinner. Based from Kurts sullen reaction when he accepted the dinner invitation, he knew that Kurt only invited him out of courtesy when the little boy had been shouting how hungry he is. It was a stupid idea to intrude to their family dinner date, but it wasnt a mistake; he simply wanted to know more of Kurt and his new family.
He even bore the most heartbreaking elevator trip he had ever ridden. Being invisible from his position at the back of the pulley, he watched as the boy rattle off about his friends at the day care and the two men listened intently and laughed with the boy. He had a passing thought that it was him and Pickles that is making Kurt laughed at the moment, but he quickly repressed the idea; not wanting to have a meltdown in front of them.
So when they finally arrived at a French family diner across Kurts building, Blaine immediately excused himself to the restroom and had his own breakdown. He had regretted ordering Sam to go back to their hotel first when he needed someone to calm his nerves and help him get through this dinner.
He quickly found the table where theyre at, but he stopped momentarily to observed how the family interacts. He was so envious of Adam to have a family with Kurt. He wanted to hate Adam and the boy for making Kurt so happy when it was supposed to be him in their position. But as he watched the boy on Kurts lap, he doesnt have the heart to hate the innocent boy.
As Blaine watched their gleeful faces, he thought of bailing the dinner and tried talking to Kurt alone on another time, but the boy turned his head and saw him. Then the blonde kid started jumping on Kurts lap, pointed at him and shouted, "Mister Bowtie! Mister Bowtie!"
I guess theres no out in here. Blaine thought and made his way through the diner and sat at the vacant seat of the four-corner table. He was startled when the boy immediately leapt on his lap and tugged the bowtie wrapped around his neck.
"Ooh... Do you like bowties too, Mr. Bowtie?" The boy asked giddily, and gestured for his own gray bowtie that matched with his outfit.
"Uhmm... uuhhh..." Blaine started blankly, he was too surprised by the boys sudden question about his choice of clothing that he even didnt notice how the boys action made the other two men froze on their seat. He just held the boy in place, afraid that he might fall because of his excessive liveliness.
"Because I love bowties!" The boy shouted and pointed at Kurt. "...and Papa makes the prettiest bowtie ever." He said proudly and looked at Adam. "Right, Dadam?"
"Dadam?" Blaine questioned and glanced at Adam, who had his lips on Kurts ears, whispering French words to Kurt, and from the look of it, they are words of encouragement as Kurts hardened face slowly turned soft.
"Oh... he uhmm... the name just stuck when he had a hard time pronouncing my name before..." Adam explained when he heard Blaine inquisitive voice. "...He cant even pronounce Kurts name properly then so he just called him papa every time." Then he averted his gaze to the little boy and gestured for him to come. "Come on, baby... sit with Dadam. Dont make Blaine uncomfortable."
"But I like his bowties..." The boy protested and pouted his lips.
"Better than Dadams?" Adam pouted back.
"No!" The boy shouted, and then jumped from Blaines lap and run towards Adam. "I like Dadams bowties the best because Papa made them." Adam chuckled to the boys answer and lifted the boy to place him on a high chair between Kurt and Blaine.
Blaine winced when he heard the boy said that Kurt makes Adam bowties. The green bowtie that he received from Kurt as a Christmas present, which is safely kept in his closet, felt so insignificant now.
It was quiet for a moment when the boy was suddenly engrossed with the utensils on his tray, leaving the adults to talk to themselves.
"So... you and Adam?" Blaine bravely asked Kurt to disperse the awkward silence among them,
"Me and Adam." Kurt responded and curled his right arm with the blonde mans left.
"Are you two...?" Blaine started, but cant bear to finish his own question. Happy...? Engaged...? Married...?
Kurt knew what Blaine is trying to ask, so he gently intertwined his fingers with Adam and brought it to his lips. "Were planning on it. I mean... thats the only thing missing considering that we already have Andre."
The chain on Blaines neck suddenly felt so heavy that it made him harder to breathe. For the last five years, he spent thinking how his reunion with Kurt will result to. He thought of a scenario where Kurt will realize how he still loves Blaine and came running to him despite losing their baby; another where Kurt will find him, drenched from the rain and begging for his forgiveness on their front porch in Lima; another where he will let Kurt beat him up so badly until he is satisfied, but Kurt will tend to his wounds afterwards and theyll make up eventually; he even thought of having angry sex with Kurt, Kurt will suddenly show up to their apartment, theyll have a heated argument thatll led to Blaine being ravished on the front door of their apartment, letting him only come after the third time Kurt fucks himself on Blaines cock. His fantasies have different beginnings, but he only had one ending; him and Kurt lies on a soft cot while whispering I love you & sorry to each other, Kurt will pregnant again and they will start a new family again.
Blaine and Kurt. Kurt and Blaine. They were supposed to be endgame, not Kurt and Adam.
"So his name is Andre?" Blaine probed Kurt for another topic. A little more and you can get out of here. Calm your brains, Anderson. he reminded himself and twisted his head to look adorably at the boy beside him.
"Jean Andre..." Kurt elaborated and smiled at his childs cuteness.
"Bring him home." Blaine whispered, but the occupants on the table heard him nevertheless.
"Excuse me?" Kurt asked and stared at Blaine incredulously.
"ohh... I mean..." Blaine started when he saw Kurt glaring at him; he didnt intend to blurt his thoughts out. "Bring him home from the Musical; Les Miserables. Uhmm... I remember you said once that you memorized the whole course of the musical and that you were singing it since you were in seventh grade. I... I just thought you named him after Jean Valjean." Blaine clarified sheepishly.
"Oh... uhmm... yeah... I did." Kurt admitted reluctantly and was also surprised that Blaine still remembered random things about him. What are you up to, Blaine? First the COURAGE foundation and now this?
"You named him after Valjean?" Blaine asked giddily, pleased that he guessed the babys origin name right.
"... yeah." Kurt smiled softly, but then remembered that this is Blaine Anderson who he is talking to and immediately returned to his stoic posture. "But he preferred to be called Andre."
"Thats me! Thats me! Im Andre." The boy-Andre-shouted from his seat while stomping his feet on his elevated foot rest.
"I know, baby... Youre my only Andre." Kurt smiled and leant forward from his seat to kiss his cheeks.
"Im Papas only Andre." The boy repeated, he glanced at their table and suddenly remembered their guest who has pretty bowties like him. "Mr. Bowtie?" He turned to Blaine and then he nodded when his papa whispered Mr. Bowties real name.
"Mister... uhmm.. Blaine... Are you papa and dadams friend?" The boy asked curiously.
Blaine thought for a moment how to answer the boys question. With the factors that constrained his relationship with Kurt, he knew that he cant be considered as a friend right now. So to be safe, he answered that they were just business partners, which of course the little boy didnt know yet.
"Its like papa and miss belle, Andre. They work with the book with pretty clothes." Adam clarified for him.
"Ohh..." Andre paused for a moment and looked at Blaine intently like he is trying to look for a smudge of dirt on his face. "Mister Blaine... how old are you?"
Blaine didnt know why the boy asked him his age, but he still answered him. "Im thirty-two. How about you Andre, how old are you?"
"Uhmm... Im..." The boy then lifted his hands to his face and slowly counted his age by raising each of his fingers. "One... two... three... four..." he then thrust his hands to Blaines face and shouted. "Im four! Mr. Blaine."
It stung knowing that the boy was four years old. Apparently, it didnt take long enough for Kurt to get over him and start a new family with his best friend; whereas, he spent five years hoping for their broken relationship to be fixed.
"Dadam, whats tee-tee two?" he asked when he tried counting Blaines age from his fingers, but always stopped on number ten.
"Thirty-two, Andre." Adam repeated slowly. "There are too many numbers for your brain, Andre, but youll learn it once you get bigger..."
"Like you?"
"Like me... and uhmm...Like Blaine and Papa... Mr. Blaine is as old as papa." Adam jokingly explained and received a playful jab from Kurt.
"Youre old like papa?" The boy returned his gaze towards Blaine.
"I guess...yeah..."
"Then you cant be my friend anymore and you cant show me your bowties." Andre said sadly.
Blaine was about to tell him that he can still be his friends even if he is older than him, but the next words that came out from the boys mouth made his blood drain from his body.
"If youre old like papa, then youre also a dad like him, right?" Andre questioned innocently. "Do your little Blaines also have pretty bowties like yours?" Andre asked and tried reaching for Blaines bowtie.
The three men stayed frozen-shock when they heard the little boys innocent question. And said little boy, then now noticed how their table became so eerily quiet, so he stopped grabbing for Blaines tie and looked at the man himself.
"Mr. Blaine, are you crying? I wont take your bowtie anymore, I promise." Andre swore when he saw Blaines tears falling from his eyes; afraid that he upset the other man because he wanted his bowtie for himself.
Pour Blaine a bucket of cold water then electrocute him before he is repeatedly whipped on his back by a metal chain, but nothing is comparable to the painful reminder that he was once a father... that he and Kurt are supposed to have their own happily ever after.
Its the sweet voice of Kurt assuring Andre that it wasnt the boys fault why he was crying that broke him from his aching trance. He stood up abruptly from his seat and made the chair stumbled backwards, causing a loud noise that gained the attention of all the customers and staff inside.
"I... Im sorry... I have to go." He said to Kurt and Adam; trying to regain a little bit of dignity even though they can all see how wretched he is. He clumsily undid his bowtie and laid it on Andres tray, then he quickly dashed from the restaurant; stumbling in the process as his head became hazy and his eyes is flooded with his tears, he even ignored Andre when the little boy shouted his name.
*Crash*
*Bang*
*Crash*
From his position just outside of Blaines hotel door room, Sam can still picture how Blaine ferociously threw things at the wall, and smashed it into pieces. He was worried about his friends state of mind, he had only seen Blaine like this once, and it was five years ago in his room in Westerville, on the night Blaine had found out about Kurts miscarriage.
He should have insisted on participating on the dinner and be there for his friend. He shouldnt have obeyed Blaine when he is instructed to go back to the hotel first, he was just about to protest and disagree with Blaine, but his words were caught in his lips when he saw Kurt Hummel walking hand-in-hand with a taller blonde man-which he was introduced to be Adam-and a pale blonde kid.
It must have been a big blow to Blaine to see the love of his life-or so Sam was told-to be seen happy with another family. And as he looked at Blaines pleading eyes, he conceded to his friend command and let him go to the dinner alone.
But now as he listened to the continuous sound of items being smashed into parts and the loud wail of Blaines cries of Kurt & Pickless name, he wondered how Blaines meeting with Kurts new family turned out to be. He knew that it wont turn out good, but he didnt expect that it will bring the vicious beast in Blaine.
Nevertheless, he didnt dare go inside the room; he stayed outside and waited patiently for the sound in Blaines room to subside. It took an hour before he cant hear anymore furniture breaking... thirty minutes more before Blaine stopped shouting ... and another two for the sound of sobbing to completely stop; indicating that Blaine had drained all of his energy and had fallen asleep.
When Sam was sure that Blaines outburst is finished, he took his phone out and called Cooper Anderson. Blaine and Coopers relationship as brothers were strong to begin with, but it gained more strength when Cooper became Blaines rock during the five years of Blaines desperation. He was the one who knew what to do in this kind of situation wherein Blaine had his meltdown.
He quickly dialed Coopers number and was thankful that the other man answered it immediately, he hurriedly explained what had happen-which is not that helpful, given that he wasnt part of the dinner-he started from Kurts sudden appearance during the meeting with Porcelain that led to Kurt and Blaines talk in the office-which he still doesnt know by the way-to finding about Adam and their child and then to the destruction of Blaines hotel room.
After Sam explained the situation, Cooper then advised Sam to let Blaine sleep for a while and hell talk to Blaine himself later. He assured Sam that once he had talked to Blaine, everything will be fine again.
They hung up the phone call, but Sam doubted Coopers assurance that things will be the way as it is because Cooper wasnt the one who had caught a glimpse of Blaine before he disappeared to his room.
And lifeless can only be the best, or rather the worst that you could describe Blaines state.
Watch Beginning to see the Light Trailer on my Youtube Channel.
The night had just fallen, and the three gentlemen stumbled on the two-story house. It was a typical French house, it was not too spacious nor was it too big for Kurts little family; furthermore, Kurt refused to move to a bigger house even if he already had the sufficient funds to transfer. The house just gives the vibes of being at home.
Kurt let Adam tucked Andre in bed as he proceeded directly to the kitchen and took a glass wine from his wooden cupboard, and the red bottle of wine which he reserved for special occasions only. But this time, he made an exception for drinking the wine; he just needed to unwind some of his tension.
He drunk the wine as he repeated in his head the incident in the diner, and no matter what he does, he cant erase on his mind the look of desperation in Blaines eyes.
"He should be happy!" Kurt blurted out and paced the kitchen floor while holding the glass of red wine in his hand. "He got what he wanted, so why was he acting like I took everything away from him when he was the one who ruined my life!" Kurt whispered angrily to the room. He didnt want to disrupt Andres sleep just because of his outburst about his fucked up relationship with his ex-husband.
"Maybe because he felt guilty about what he did to you..." Adam suggested while leaning on the entryway of the kitchen. He gently walked behind Kurt, took the glass in his hand, drunk the remaining alcohol and put it on the kitchen sink.
"Is Andre asleep yet?" Kurt questioned and leant the heels of his palms on the kitchen counter for balance.
"Like a boar..." Adam replied; he wrapped his arms on Kurts waist and rested his chin on the pale mans shoulder. "Relax, okay. Everything will be fine." Adam comforted him.
"Everything is not fine, Adam, because Blaine is here. Why would he show up now when I finally can stand on my own two feet?" He asked the taller man even though he knew that Adam doesnt know the answer to his question. "Why does he make me feel that I was the bad person here?"
"shh... youre not... youre not bad..."
"But you saw his face on the restaurant, Dee. He was crying because Andre mentioned about him being a father." He turned around from the mans embrace and talked to him face-to-face. "He was the one who said that he didnt want the baby in the first place, so why was he so devastated about losing Pickles?"
"I really think that he felt guilty about giving you the abortion papers..."
"So does he think that because he is guilty about wanting to abort the baby that everything will be fine again?" Kurt asked Adam angrily, he knew he shouldnt have blown his anger to Adams face, but his mouth cant just learn when to shut up. "Does he think that we could regain our friendship just because he still remembered random things about me? Does he think that building foundations for carriers like me will help him turn time and stop his idiotic past-self to make stupid decisions?"
Adam was about to respond but Kurt beat him to it.
"No, Adam! Everything will never be the same no matter what he does or what he remembers. He ruined my life!" He shouted to the blonde-guy. "And now when Im finally moved on and happy with my life, he came crashing to it again... "Kurt cried to the mans arm and clutched to the collar of his dress shirt.
Adam embraced Kurt tightly and let the thin man wet his expensive shirt with saliva and tears. He waited until Kurt finished crying, so that he could held Kurts face with both of his palms, and looked intently at his eyes. "Do you really think that youve already moved on?" Adam questioned him.
When Kurt gave a nod, Adam continued. "Are you really sure? ...because part of moving on is finding your closure, Kurt. And in order for you to have that, is for you and Blaine to have a serious talk." He then gave Kurt a small smile. "Its already been five years since the accident... Things have already changed, you change. It definitely became better for you. You have me... and you have Jean. And sooner or later, your anger for Blaine will not only affect you, but itll affect Andre. Isnt five years enough for you to let go and forgive Blaine for what he did?"
"But.... But..."
"I know that what he did to you is painful, but isnt it easier to move on if you hear him out and accepted his apology? Because most often than not, its the not forgiving that holds us back to true happiness."
"But Im still scared, Dee, what if he-"
"He wont. I promise you he wont and on the one in a million chances that hell hurt you again, Ill be the one to call Finn out so he could beat Blaine again." He jested and Kurt lightheartedly slapped him on the shoulder.
"You coward." Kurt accused him; wove his arms through Adams neck and relaxed to the mans warm body. "I love you." He mumbled to the blondes shoulder. "I really dont know how to survive this if my best friend werent here."
"I know you wont and I love you too, little freckles." Adam replied. "And I promise you that Ill always be here for you, no matter what."
Kurt parted their bodies and lifted his fist to the mans chest. "Promise?" He asked and wiggled his pinky finger.
"Promise." Adam swore and wrapped his finger around Kurts.
Blaine had entered his new hotel room and found Sams laptop on the bed. It had been hours after he destroyed his hotel room, and because of the damages he had caused, Sam requested to transfer him into another room while his friend negotiate with the hotel manager about their compensation for the broken furniture and appliances.
Blaine was never a violent person, but five years of compressed emotions can do something to your emotional state of mind. He is angry at Cooper for forcing him to go to France, mad at Kurt for not waiting for him, angry at the world for making him suffer like this, but he is most angry at himself for ruining his own life.
He had a family.
He had a husband.
He had it all.
Had, as in the past, hes nothing, but a mere being that occupies space and has mass.
Life had lost it colors when his child passed away, but he swallowed all of that pain because he still had his husband that he needs to be looking for. But now, seeing Kurt in the arms of another man, he came to realize that he had lost his only reason to live.
The laptop was open to the Skype application, and answered Coopers request for video call. He flopped down to the bed and put the laptop beside him, so Cooper can only see the right side of his face, as he stared at the ceiling while talking to his brother.
"You knew, didnt you?" Blaine asked Cooper.
"I knew that Kurt is part of the Porcelain magazine." Cooper replied. Because of the distance and Coopers busy schedule, he cant fly right away to France and comfort his brother, so he settled on talking to Blaine via Skype.
"So thats why you are so adamant for me to take this project..." Blaine stated monotonously. His energy had been all used up on his outburst earlier, and even after a good amount of sleep, he still felt so tired. "I dont really know if I should be grateful or not."
"But I thought you wanted to see him..." Cooper said confusingly.
"Oh... I do... trust me, Coop. I spent the last five years trying to be a better man, so that when fate finally wanted for me and Kurt to meet again, Kurt will be so proud of me and Ill spend every single day to make sure that he is the happiest person in the world." He breathed deeply and twisted his head to look at his brother. "But if I knew that fate never wanted for us to be together, Ill rather choose to be alone and die waiting for him... at least I died hoping that there will be an us again. But meeting him after five years, and knowing that he already has his own family, it just... it killed me." Tears started falling from his eyes as he clutched the rings on his chest. "I dont know how to breathe anymore, Coop. I dont know how to live the rest of my life knowing the reason of my existence had vanished before my eyes."
Okay seriously, how could Cooper respond to that? His brother sounds like a teenager with suicidal issues, and another wrong word could trigger something dark in his brother. Cooper just hoped that Blaine was only talking nonsense and wont really take his own life. He knew how hard life had been for him with Pickles and Kurt gone, so he was afraid that Blaine finding out about Kurt and Adam is the last straw for him. So just to be sure, Cooper chose not to give Blaine words of comfort anymore and just asked him to go back to New York.
"B... I dont know... just go home Blaine, and lets talk about this first please." Cooper pleaded, but apparently he had said something wrong because it made his brother bawled his eyes out again.
"Kurt is my home..." Blaine cried and then slammed the lid of the laptop.
The ding of the elevator indicated that Kurt had reached his destination. He stepped out of the elevator, but didnt proceed to the room which he should look for.
Kurt thought about what Adam had said to him last night, and knew that Adam was right. He has to stop keeping grudges against Blaine, he needed to start anew, and the first step to attain it is forgiving Blaine.
He walked to the hallowed halls of the hotel and stopped at Room 409 where Blaine is staying, well according to his secretary that is.
He lifted his fist, closed his eyes and breathed deeply. I can do this. He thought to himself and thumped his knuckles on the door.
Blaine stays at the Le Burgundy Paris Hotel. The place was luxurious and definitely fits Blaines social status, but one of the hotels best features is for their customers to feel the presence of home during their stay. So the lack of modern technology in the hotel is an advantage for them; hence, they dont have doorbell and auto-machine in the room.
*knock knock*
Kurt waits.
*knock knock*
No answer.
*knock knock*
Kurt took his phone out and started texting Unique to know if his secretary really did give him the right room number, but he unconsciously gripped and turned the doorknob.
The door was unlocked and opened. So without thinking, Kurt slowly entered the room and quietly whispered Blaines name.
"Blaine?" Kurt murmured and stopped at the living room of the hotel room. He paused first and took in the lavishness of the room; the furniture is obviously antique, the floor was covered in expensive carpet and even the paint jobs of the walls are classy, and then he suddenly realized how creepy and stupid his action is. He was about to quietly exit the room when Blaine showed up on the entryway that separates the bedroom and the living room.
"Aghhh!" Kurt shrieked; he wouldnt have done so if Blaine hadnt showed up naked in front of him.
Naked, as in, no whatsoever clothing that should cover his private part.
"Oh my god!" Kurt shouted and instantly covered his eyes and immediately turned around to walk out of the room. "Im sorry! Im sorry! I didnt know Sebastian came with you! Im sorry!"
When Blaine heard Kurt shout, he used the towel he was using to dry his hair and hurriedly wrapped it around his hips. He was baffled about the mans sudden appearance to his room, but this was the lone opportunity he wanted and he cant let Kurt walk away again.
"Wait! Kurt wait!" Blaine shouted and grabbed Kurts wrist. "Dont leave yet."
They were both panting heavily because of the embarrassment and awkwardness of the situation. "Please Kurt, dont leave. We really need to talk." Blaine said to the back of Kurts head. "Ill change first, but can you please wait for a minute?"
When he received a nod from Kurt, Blaine hurriedly run back to his bedroom and put anything that he thought is decent to wear.
Back in the living room, Kurt was repeatedly pressing his cheeks with his palms to lessen the redness and hotness of his body. For a moment there, Kurt felt a sudden feeling of déjà vu, and he shivered because the familiar tension was the same as his and Blaines first meeting at the hotel in Los Angeles.
"Hi." Blaine greeted him sheepishly while biting his lips, he suddenly felt so conscious now that Kurt had seen his body. He knew he shouldnt think how Kurt is comparing his body with Adams.
"Hi." Kurt turned around and greeted back; embarrassed of his own action. "Im sorry; I really didnt know you were with someone."
That got Blaine curious, he had never been with anyone after Kurt; just the thought of being with someone else, especially Sebastian, makes him feel like he had cheated on Kurt. "Im not... Sebastian and I broke up a long time ago. Im just used to being alone, so I dont have any inhibitions to walk out... uhmm... naked."
Kurt had a feeling that theres another meaning when Blaine said that he is alone, and he also was surprised that he and Sebastian broke up. He had the sudden urge to ask him about what happened, but stopped himself before he open his mouth. Its not my business anymore to intrude to his personal life... They just didnt work out... I should just leave it like that. Kurt thought, nodded at Blaine and remembered his intention of going to the hotel in the first place.
Kurt riffled his bag and searched for the bowtie that Blaine had left on Andres tray. He took it out, stepped forwards to Blaine and gave it to him. "Here."
"Oh... ah no... I really did want him to have that. Just give it to him... it could be my present for him for being such a lovely kid."
Kurt smiled at Blaine, and put the garment inside his bag again.
"uhmm.. about that..." Kurt started while scratching the back of his neck. "Uhmm... Why-"
"Im sorry." Blaine cut him off. Finally, after 5 years, 4 months and 2 days, he had apologized to Kurt. It wasnt the grand gesture he had been planning before, but this will do. "Im sorry for the things Ive done to you. Im so sorry for the way I treated you." He sincerely said; not giving Kurt time to respond. "Im so fucking sorry. There is no excuse for the horrible things that Ive done, but Kurt please believe me that I didnt mean it." Tears are racing to fall on his cheeks. "Please Kurt believe me that I truly am sorry. I know that I cant undo the things that Ive said and done to you, but Im just... so so sorry..." ... for not showing you how much I love you... for not taking care of our baby... for being stupid... for letting you walk away from my life... His mind supplied, but he dare not say it out loud. He knew Kurt already has his own family, and he already accepted defeat that they cant be together anymore. "Please Kurt... I regret everything that had happened..."
Kurt wanted to question Blaine more, but seeing how wretched the tanned man is about his decisions five years ago, is all the answer he wanted.
Kurt had lived his life with anger, while Blaine lived his with guilt. They were both broken, and only through each other that they could be fixed.
So without a second thought, Kurt stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around the crying mans neck. Blaines cheeks rested on Kurts collar, and Kurts chin was rested on the other mans shoulder. Kurt rubbed Blaines back for comfort as he gently whispered "Youre forgiven."
Blaine cried more loudly and tightened his embrace on the pale mans waist. At last, Blaine had heard the two words he had been striving to hear for the last five years.
The birds were chirping more loudly, the branches of the trees were swaying with more grace, and the childrens laughter became music to Blaines ears. Its not Technicolor yet, but its a start.
It had been a week since Blaine came back to New York. It also had been a week since his and Kurts talk in his hotel room. There had been more crying and apologies after that, but eventually they have to part ways. Kurt decided that its better for the two of them to not start anything but be acquaintances for now, and Blaine agreed to it because they both needed time and space for themselves. He was glad that Kurt had forgiven him, but he wasnt ready to hear how happy Kurt is with Adam.
Even though he knew there were no hopes for them to be together again, Blaine still cant stop loving Kurt.
The past week hadnt been easy for Blaine; sometimes he just stared at nothing and started thinking how he could move on from here. The first step he did was to literally move to another apartment; the loft reminded him the family he once had, and he cant live there anymore. Unfortunately, that was the only step he had accomplished and now he was rethinking if he should proceed to the next step. He bought another flat, but he didnt sell his previous one because it still holds a sentimental value to him.
The apartment he bought was in Upper West side of Manhattan, where he could see the overview of the central park. For three days, his routine is to get up early, bought coffee and bagels at a nearby café and eat his breakfast on a bench in Central Park while he enjoys the beauty of nature.
Its already 8:30 am and Blaine should head back to his new apartment to get ready for work. The doorman greeted him cheerfully and held the door open for him. He politely said his thanks and blindly walked through it, but his legs bumped to a small boy.
"Im sorry." Blaine apologized immediately and was utterly surprised that he knew the boy in front of him. "Andre?" He asked confusingly.
"Mr. Bowtie!" Andre exclaimed and wrapped his tiny arms around Blaines knees.
"Blaine." Kurt gasped a few steps behind Andre; he was obviously running after the boy. "What are you doing here?" Kurt asked and stepped beside Andre.
"I... I moved here." Blaine answered and crutch down to the boys level to pat his head. "How... how about you? What are you doing here in New York?"
"Uhmm... I live here now." Kurt answered hesitantly, and smiled closed-lip when he saw Blaines wide eyes staring at him.
Sometimes... sometimes fate had its own mysterious ways of dealing with broken hearts.
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Title Reference: "Home" It refers to Kurts new home in France, Blaines home is Kurt and Kurt transferring to Blaines apartment building.
Story Reference:
-Bring Him Home is Kurt and Rachels song in the DIVA episode and yes according to canon-kurt, he had been belting the whole course of les mis since he was in seventh grade.
-Adams line is from Isabelles Wright dialogue in the THANKSGIVING episode
-Room 409 indicates Kurt and Blaines first talk after their break up... Its the THANKSGIVING episode 9 of Season 4.
Story Outline:
-Awkward Conversation among the four
-Blaine conversation with Cooper
-Adam calming Kurt down
-Klaine conversation
-Kurt moving into Blaines building
Scenes included:
-Coop Knowing about Kurts involvement in Porcelain
-Blaine knew the kid names origin
Writing Tip: Have a page in your book dedicated only for vocabulary. There are certain actions that help you picture out a scene more. For example, the word eat has a different variations; such as, chewing, swallowing, nibbling, munching and etc. The page will help you remind how you could execute a characters actions.
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