Nov. 22, 2014, 6 p.m.
Beginning to See the Light: Confessions
E - Words: 6,309 - Last Updated: Nov 22, 2014 Story: Complete - Chapters: 20/? - Created: Feb 28, 2014 - Updated: Feb 28, 2014 221 0 0 1 0
This chapter was corrupted so I have to do it all over again! SO yeah its the worst day!
But I still thank you, my readers for your enthusiasm in reviewing my story... Your reviews are awesome!
You are so amazing guys! Last week I garnered almost 2000 views within a day. So thank you! Im grateful for that!
I cant believe that I forgot to make this shout out (I feel like a total asshole now)
I just wanted to give credit to MARTYANDERSON! If you would remember the scene where Sam mistook Blaines jealousy for Sebastian but it was really for Kurt in Chapter 6: Tension, The idea came from your review for Chapter 4: Leeches. So thumbs up to you for that review. (Sorry for not acknowledging you soon though)
Writing Sucks! Reading blows! (No pun intended) Someone should have written this story, I prefer reading than writing!
I change the title of the last chapter just because... haha... I think it was influenced by my anger for the data corruption... hahaha...
After waving Blaine goodbye, Kurt turned around to continue cleaning the apartment, but he hadnt made any steps yet when he heard an unfamiliar voice shouting behind him. He turned around to see the commotion and was surprised to see his husband being engulfed in an embrace by a taller man.
"Happy New Year, Blaine!" The tall man yelped as he presses his palms on either side of Blaines cheeks. "I miss you so much," he said and embrace Blaine once more, hooking his chin to Blaines right shoulder.
Sebastian Kurt presumed as he observed the mans body language towards Blaine; it was too intimate for him to be considered as a relative or a friend, his actions were definitely that of a lover. He must be Sebastian Kurt dreaded, body still shock-frozen from the unexpected visitor.
"Blaine, there is a strange man looking at me. Who is he?" Sebastian asked his boyfriend when he opened his eyes and saw a pale chubby man intruding on their little reunion. "Blaine?" he asked again and glanced at his unmoving boyfriend, shaking his shoulders to relieve him from stiffness.
"Im his..." Kurt started and mentally kicked himself for opening his mouth. "Uhmm... Im the new housekeeper," he lied when he noticed in the hallway mirror that he was still wearing his apron. "Im Kurt," he introduced himself.
"Oh good! Im famished from all the traveling," he said and tugged Blaine towards the kitchen. "Do you know how to make an egg and tuna Sandwich, Kurt?" he asked as he placed his ass on the kitchen stool, motioning for Blaine to do the same. "Make two," he ordered when he saw the housekeeper nod his head.
"Seb, hes not a-" Blaines protest was cut off by the high pitch voice of Kurt.
"Coming right up, sir," he said with fake enthusiasm and started preparing the sandwich.
"Hes not what?" Sebastian probed and nudged his knee to Blaines.
"Hes not... uhh... never mind," he dismisses, quite grateful for the out Kurt had given him; he was still not ready to reveal everything to Sebastian. He needed time, he hadnt even talked to Kurt yet. "What are you doing here, Seb?" he asked instead.
"Its New Year, Blaine," Sebastian explained. "I dont want you to be alone on New Years Eve," he said sheepishly.
"Well, its too late for that; the fireworks went off a few hours ago," he said bitterly, leaving the fact that he wasnt alone, but was busy fucking his husband over and over again.
"It isnt my fault this time, I promise," he sincerely said and held Blaines hands over the counter where it could be perfectly seen by Kurt. "The plane was delayed for a few hours because of the heavy snowfall in New York. Blame the weather, Blaine, not me. I really wanted to spend New Year with you."
Blaine jerked his hand away from Sebastian. "If you really wanted to be with me last night then why didnt you come back here days earlier to make sure wed celebrate New Year together? Why would you wait until the last minute?" he frustratingly asked. "Why didnt you even call me to say that youd be here? No wait! Where were you Sebastian, youve been MIA for the last couple of days. You didnt even greet me on Christmas and then suddenly youre here on my door steps!" he shouted the last sentence and turned from his seat to face away from Sebastian.
Sebastian sighed heavily before explaining to his boyfriend. "Could you at least look at me before I explain myself?" he pleaded and used his left hand to turn Blaines head. He continued even with the cold treatment Blaine was giving him. "Well my visit was obviously a surprise, so calling you would make no sense," he tried joking but received a glare from his boyfriend. "Okay... okay... I... I was caught up with my work beca-" He was startled when Blaine abruptly stood up, causing the stool to tumble back.
"Work! Of course, it was work! You have only talked about work, Sebastian." Blaines voice was getting louder and louder as the words left his mouth. "How you would please your boss or how you would be promoted? Arent you tired from having the same conversation, Seb? Because I certainly am!"
"Blaine, calm down please," Sebastian calmly approached his boyfriend and gently rubbed his back. "Let me explain first, please," he continued even if he did not get any response from Blaine. "I didnt get to call you because I was busy doing my last project," he explained but received a huff from Blaine. "Didnt you hear me? I was busy doing my last project," he said again, emphasizing the word last.
Finally, Blaine looked at him when he caught Sebastians implication. "What do you mean?" he asked to make sure they had the same understanding.
"The company was impressed with my work and they decided to promote me," he said proudly. "I got promoted, Blaine. Finally, Ive reached it," he said enthusiastically and hugged Blaine tightly, but the shorter man didnt reciprocate the gesture.
"I did it Blaine, please be happy for me," he whispered desperately to Blaines ear and tightened his hold on him.
"Im happy for you, Seb," he whispered back, reluctantly lifting his arms to hug Sebastian. "Its just... I dont know what to think now, Seb. Im happy that you got what you wanted but do you think it will work out... I mean us, with you being thousand miles away?"
Sebastian jerkily shook his head and parted their bodies to look at Blaines face. "I made a condition with them before accepting the offer."
He tightened his hold onto his boyfriends shoulder when he felt Blaines hand prying it away. "My condition was to be transferred to the New York Branch... because I left someone important here, and I wanted to be with him." Sebastian grinned. "I want to be with you."
"You mean... youre staying?" Blaine asked disbelievingly. His emotions were all mixed up; he was surprised that Sebastian was staying to be with him, but also worried about his relationship with Kurt. How am I going to fix this shit, he cringed inwardly.
"Yes, I am, I have to fly out once in a while but yes, Im staying," he announced and was about to give Blaine a kiss when a cough interrupted their moment.
"Sir, uhmm... your food is ready," Kurt said sheepishly, trying to keep his tears at bay and gestured at the sandwich he prepared. "Sir, may I go now?" he asked addressing Blaine but not looking at him. It hurt too much to see Sebastian and Blaine back together; he heard the whole exchange between the two, and his heart had been literally ripped from his chest when he heard that Sebastian was staying for Blaine.
He didnt wait for Blaines answer; he just started walking away from the kitchen not noticing the stool on the floor, making him stumble in his steps.
Blaine came rushing to him before he fell down on the floor. "I got you," Blaine said barely catching Kurt; left hand on the back of his head and right hand supporting Kurts hips. He let Kurt sit on the floor instead of standing up, making sure that nothing was wrong with his husband, and knelt beside him to inspect Kurts body. "Are you okay? Where does it hurt?" He asked worriedly and unconsciously roamed his hands all over Kurts body.
"Im okay... Im fine..." Kurt repeated the same dialogue for like a million times. This scenario between the married couple had happened so many times that Kurt had lost count-having an additional weight on your tummy is a big adjustment- but his heart always skipped a beat whenever Blaine came rushing to him and acted like his knight. He so desperately wished at that moment that Blaine would scoop him up and bring him to bed like he always did, but he wont, not now; not when Sebastian was still here.
"Blaine... I have to go," he whispered to Blaine and laid a hand on his arm.
"No! dont go!" he protested. "Stay. You should sit still," Blaine pleaded.
"I really have to go Blaine," he insisted and tried getting up from the floor. "You have to talk to Sebastian," he said warily, eying the taller man over Blaines shoulder.
Blaine whipped his head when he heard his boyfriends name and immediately looked at said boyfriend. He shortly forgot that he was there when he was attending to Kurt. But never did I take my mind from Kurt when I was talking to Sebastian earlier. It was true though; his eyes keep on moving back to his husband even though he was in the middle of a fight with Sebastian.
"Oh my god! Are you fucking him?" Sebastian gasped, hand flying to cover his gaping mouth. Disbelief and anger radiating from him as he watched Blaine caressed the pale boy. "Tell me that Im just overreacting Blaine, tell me," he said furiously, stepping closer to his boyfriend and his boyfriends lover. "Tell me. Im wrong and crazy and just hallucinating. Youre not cheating on me right?" Sebastian said angrily but his eyes are pleading; pleading for Blaine to tell him that he was wrong or for him to lie; hed accept any excuse that would make them okay again.
It turned out Blaine had run out of time.
In the end, Kurt went out to give Blaine and Sebastian time to talk. He didnt go far because he had nowhere to go and no friends to talk to, so he stayed in the buildings lobby, situated in farthest corner where he could be hardly seen. It wasnt busy like they were used to, people must have still been enjoying their vacation or going out with their families or relaxing in their own apartment. The only people in the lobby aside from Kurt were the receptionist dosing off from her dull morning, the security guard just outside the door and the cleaner who took advantage of the people-less hall by polishing the marble floor.
Fortunately for Kurt, all of them were too busy to notice his presence. He didnt want anyone to see the waterfalls on his face or hear his sobs and snuffles. He didnt need their sympathy, he just needed Blaine. He so wanted to run back to the apartment and beg Blaine to stay with him... to be with him and choose him... and-and to love him. Hell do everything, just to be his again.
But he cant.
He was never mine, he sobbed at his own thought; biting hard on his fist to block the loud wail he was about to release. Blaine was never his from the beginning, which was the truth he discovered the same time he knew he was falling in love with him. Somewhere during his plan to make Blaine see that he could also be a proper father, he started developing feelings for him. But really, who wouldnt?
Blaine is my knight, he saved me. Yes, tell him he is a masochist for falling for a person who wants to take his child away from him then so be it; because he tried really hard to stop his feelings, but his heart just wouldnt listen to his head. The only moment he wished he had his Knight-Blaine was the night he first moved in. After that, every time Blaine thought he had done something wrong, unconsciously or not, he would do something to amend it with little gifts or actions-aside from the keychain and breakfast he made for Kurt.
So if he would weigh the good and bad memories of himself with Blaine, he would always recall how Blaine had saved him from Chandler and Azimio, how he makes him laugh with his little jokes, how his every touch make Kurts heart flutter and just how they spent time together talking about Pickles, so of course, if its with Blaine then everything is a good memory.
Hes too far gone, especially... especially when Blaine gave Kurt the most wonderful birthday gift he had ever received.
"Hey, are you sure youre okay? We could go to a physician first before heading to the OB?" Blaine sincerely asked as he held Kurts hand in his.
They were at the back of Blaines car on the way to their first appointment with Dr. Wilde; the morning after Kurts panic attack.
"No, no... Im fine really. I talked with my dad earlier and he already comforted me," he replied, sitting sideways to look honestly at his husband. "He even scolded me for causing a fire to our apartment... I mean your apartment. He understood though that it was all an accident because of the cramps, and then he just started sharing Moms pregnancy stories with me," he shared gleefully. "So I am really okay now..."
"If you say so... and uhmm... Kurt," Blaine said shyly, rubbing his thumb on Kurts wrist.
"Hmmm?" Kurt asked curiously.
"Happy Birthday!" he greeted him awkwardly. "Im sorry I didnt know..."
"Oh..." Kurt gave a hearty laugh. "Im sorry, too, for not telling you, but thank you," he said and squeezed Blaines hand.
"But still... " he moaned and his eyes got wide when he thought of an idea. "Let me make it up to you, please. Wherever you want to go or anything you want, just say it and youll have it," he said enthusiastically, eyes glittering in excitement.
"Anything?" he asked tentatively, he didnt know if Blaine would give him what he really wanted.
"Anything," Blaine answered firmly.
Kurt took a chance with Blaines promise and told him what he really wanted: to see Pickles twice a year, his voice practically begging Blaine to grant him the wish, but silence reigned on them after Kurt said his birthday wish.
"Forget it; I know its too much." Kurt tried to be dismissive but his heart clenched from the silent rejection. "Lets ju-"
"Anytime." Blaine cut him off; also sitting sideways so he could have a proper look of his husband. "You could see Pickles anytime you want to, not just twice a year," he added.
"Really? I can see Pickles anytime I want to?" he asked in disbelief, clasping their hands eagerly together. He really cannot believe that Blaine is giving him this as a present.
"Happy Birthday Kurt," he said instead, foregoing his promise to him that hed give anything Kurt wants.
"Oh god! Thank you, Blaine. Thank you. Thank you," he said as tears began flowing from his eyes. "This is the best birthday present."
"Not even the blue scarf?" heteased, but a hint of jealousy can still be drawn to it as he eyed the blue scarf wrapped around Kurts neck, a birthday gift he received from Adam.
"Nothing can compare with yours." Both men felt that there must be an underlying thought to what Kurt had just said. The warmth from each others smile had said it all, even though they have not yet realized what it meant.
Blaine was the one who broke off their gazes when he approached a very touchy topic for the both of them. "... About that, Im sorry for making those conditions," he apologized sincerely. "Its just... Sam, he... leeches, you... divorce then baby... Urghh!" He roughly gripped his hair because of his lame explanation.
Kurt tugged Blaines hands down, untangling them from his curly hair. "I dont really know what you mean by that, but I understand that you regretted trying to part me with our baby, right?"
Blaine nodded frantically, he couldnt seem to explain his actions but at least Kurt knew that he was sorry.
Kurt gave Blaine a small smile. "I dont really understand, but I dont care anymore because I get to see my baby now, thats all that matters. So thank you for that," he squeezed their joined hands then turned back to sit properly. "Im fine with our arrangement now, well get divorced after Pickles is born, and I still get to see him," he said with a calm façade.
Kurt was looking out the window when he said the last sentence, so he didnt see his husbands mortified face.
"About that, can we talk-" Blaines proposition was interrupted by his driver, announcing that they had arrived at the hospital.
But Kurt was not fine with it now, he wanted Blaine. He wanted to experience having a family with Blaine. He wanted to make silly fights with him, to celebrate their childs birthday, to attend to Pickles extra-curricular activities; he wanted to make love to him every night and make siblings for Pickles. He wanted all of that. Kurt wanted all of Blaine.
But he knew he wont have that because Blaine already had Sebastian. He knew from the moment he discovered his feelings for Blaine that he was in for a heart ache.
"Why didnt someone warn me that love could be so painful?" he asked himself. Why am I so pathetic...? I dont even have a friend that I could talk to? he thought shamefully.
As if on cue, his phone rang loudly and saw Adam calling him. He answered immediately giving no time for Adam to greet him.
"Hes gone, Adam! Hes gone. Hes going to leave me, Adam. Hes going to leave me and I cant handle it. I love him so much," he wailed on the phone, ignoring the whisk of heads turning to him. "Its breaking me!"
"Shh... Kurt... breathe... you have to relax, its not good for the baby... breathe..." they were like that for a few minutes letting Kurt relax and when he finally did, Adam calmly asked Kurt to explain the situation again.
"Sebastian is back, Adam! And... and Blaine he is going to leave me for him. Hes going to have a lovely family with Sebastian, but-but I love him and I cant let him go..." he said between hiccups, clearly he had been crying for hours. "What should I do? I cant lose him..."
Adam sighed in relief, it was just a mere couple fight and here he was thinking it was another panic attack. He closed the browser he had just been using, planning to book the next flight for New York. "Kurt calm down okay? Hes not going to leave you. He loves you, Sebastian is his past but hes got you now. Hes not leaving you," he repeated to soothe his best friends anxiety.
"He does not... he doesnt love me," he cried loudly from just hearing those words coming out of his own mouth.
"He sure does. Hes married to you, Little Freckles, of course he loves you. Youre even having a baby; starting your own family. He loves you," Adam said to comfort best friend.
"No were not, he... uhmm..." he then proceeded to tell Adam everything, as in everything; from the accident with the hotel, to Chandler, to the forced marriage, to his birthday, Christmas and New Year. Everything.
Thankfully, Adam was quiet throughout the whole story, not interrupting Kurt to question him; not even commenting on how complicated the situation was that he was in, and just patiently listened.
"Adam please say something," Kurt pleaded when there was only silence on the other end.
"Whoa!" was the first thing that came from the speaker. "Whoa! Kurt, just..." It was unexplainable; Kurts life was like it was taken from a bad rom-com, with all the tension and pretensions the couple had been doing. That explains Blaines behavior and the strange relationship they have. Adam wondered.
"Adam what should I do?" he tried again; pleading with all he had because only Adam knew his predicament and he needed his help.
Adam sighed again, giving Kurt the best advice he could give. "Leave him."
"What?" Kurt asked incredulously. "I cant Adam... I dont think I can."
"Then you have your answer," he said as a matter of fact. "Kurt, Ive only met Blaine for not more than an hour, but I can tell that he has feelings for you. You didnt see his face when you had that panic attack, he clearly cares about you," Adam said sincerely.
"But... but what if he doesnt love me like I do him? What if he rejects me?" Kurt asked worriedly; he stood up pacing the almost empty lobby, waiting for Adams response.
He knew Kurt could be stubborn sometimes so he thought of explaining it to him in the best way Kurt could understand, even if it is the worst way for him. "Kurt, listen to me okay?"
When he heard Kurts assent, he carried on to his explanation. "I was like you before, Kurt. I was in love with someone... but I was so scared that he would only see me like a big brother, so I kept my feelings for him and continue to be his friend... Im satisfied though because we spent all the time together." Adam sighed loudly and braced himself to continue for Kurts sake. "Do you believe in fate, Kurt? Because I think fate hates me. Things happened and... and we grew apart, it took me almost a decade to finally meet him again. And I thought... I thought it was our second chance of being together, but I found out that he is happy with someone else, well... I hope he is happy." Adam knew Kurts silence meant that he knew what Adam was talking about, so for fates sake, he asked. "Are you happy Kurt?"
"I am... I really am," he answered quietly. "Are you?"
"I am... because I still have him in my life. Hes my best friend," ending his answer with a smile.
"Youre my best friend, too," Kurt sobbed, now for a different reason.
Adam gave a hearty laugh and continued. "What I was saying is that I regretted it. I regret that I didnt tell him my true feelings; that I live with constant thoughts of what ifs, when I could have been with him... if I had just mustered up the courage to tell him that..." He paused for a second. "...I love you."
There was a long moment of silence for them to absorb the tension from Adams not so subtle confession.
"So yeah... you need to man up and tell him what you really feel. Have courage," he said firmly, getting back to his character as the supportive best friend.
"Courage." Kurt repeated and fiddled the pocket watch he always carried around. "Thank you Adam."
"Youre welcome, Little Freckles. So go now and get your man," he encouraged with false glee.
"And Adam... I love you too," he hung up before hearing Adams response.
"But not the way I do." Adam answered to the dead line, calmly repeating Kurts fear earlier.
"Youre fucking the housekeeper?" Sebastian shouted his question angrily, "How low can you go, Blaine? Are you really that desperate for physical intimacy that you need to have sex with your maid?" he spat disgustingly.
If the circumstances were different, Blaine would have laughed at Sebastians misunderstanding. "Hes not my maid, Sebastian... He lied to you for my sake," he answered him truthfully; no more reason in hiding the truth.
"For your sake?" He whirled around to see Blaine sitting on the sofa restlessly; back hunched and pinching the bridge of his nose. "He knew about me then." It was not a question. "Why Blaine? Why would you cheat on me? Was I not enough?" he asked; wiping angry tears from his cheeks.
"No no no no... I didnt mean to cheat on you, it was just an accident," he explained through his own sobs. "I thought... I thought you came back for me, I thought he was you I was sleeping with..."
"I dont get it." Sebastian said, calming down to listen to Blaine. Maybe... maybe it wont hurt so much if I listen to him.
"The day you were supposed to go to LA..." Blaine started.
"That long? You were cheating all this time, when I thought everything is fine between us?" he cried helplessly.
"No no... Seb listen please... please listen to me first..." he pleaded; looking straight at Sebastians eyes.
"The argument had taken a toll on me because I was going to propose to you that time," he ignored Sebastian hitch of breath. "But you left me to go to Australia... I drank that night, I drank a lot because I was trying to suppress my pain of you leaving me... but when I went back to my room, someone was there... I thought he was you, I thought you came back for me. But you werent though, I had sex with him thinking it was you, Sebastian. Im... Im really sorry," he finished shamefully.
"Why do I feel that youre making me the bad guy here?" Sebastian asked bitterly. "Because Im not the bad guy, youre the one who had been unfaithful, not me," he accused.
"It wouldnt have happened if you were there, Seb. He would have been you, but you chose your career over me." Blaine retaliated, he knew his mistakes, but Sebastian should know his too. "You always put everything under your work, including me, your boyfriend! Its always work for you even if we are together, thats the only thing you wanted to talk about... You dont even ask how I am doing or what food did I eat! Do you even care about me at all?" He shouted his question and stood on his feet.
"Of course I care!" Stepping forwards to his boyfriend. "I work because I care, do you even know how hard it is to be your boyfriend? How I should prove myself that I could be the boyfriend of Blaine Anderson, eligible bachelor and heir to Anderson Corporation?" he mocked him. "I work hard so that even for a teeny bit, I could match to you... I want them to know that I could be with you, I just... I just wanted to be right for you..." Sebastian admitted and let himself be embraced by Blaine.
"Im sorry, Im sorry... I didnt know... Im sorry." He tightened his grip when he felt Sebastian crying on his shoulder. "... but you know that I dont care about what they say, I only care about us... They dont matter to me."
"I know... its just hard when you are constantly reminded of your insecurities. Im sorry too for making you feel that I neglected you... Im sorry, B." Sebastian parted their bodies and gave Blaine a chaste kiss, making the shorter man tense. "Whats wrong? Dont... dont you love me anymore?" Sebastian asked worriedly.
"No no no no... Its Kurt." This time it was Sebastian who tensed in their embrace. "Hes... uhmm... he is pregnant...hes carrying my child..." He confessed and instantly gripped the body he was holding to when it lost its balance; helping Sebastian to sit on the couch.
"Mother Fucker! Are you fucking serious?" he asked Blaine; giving him the-dont-fuck-with-me look. "A baby Blaine? A baby?" he repeated his question and Blaine nods his head every time.
"Seb-"
"Could you please shut up for now? I needed to think, give me a minute," he asked and banged his head at the back of the couch. Just as he thought they could fix their relationship, another problem had sprung up.
Sebastian was thinking of his future, envisioning Blaine with his child and comparing it to a world less Blaine. After a moment he came to a conclusion that he needed Blaine back and he was willing to forgive his drunken mistake; it still hurt though and it would take time for them to be completely healed, but he was willing to go all through it as long as he had Blaine by his side.
"Lets elope." Sebastian suggested; sitting back up straight and taking Blaines hand in his. "I dont love the idea of you being someones father, but Ill grow out of it and will be happy again, Ill even help you take care of the child."
"I cant Sebastian..." he responded bowing his head to not look at Sebastians eagerness.
"Why not? You said earlier that you were going to propose to me, so it will only be a matter of time before we get married, so why not now?" He explained; keeping the desperation in his voice as low as possible. "Marry me, B."
"I cant marry you..." he gathered his remaining courage and lifted his head; looking Sebastian in the eye and lifted his left hand to show his wedding ring. "...because Im already married."
"Youre married," he deadpanned. "That was your third strike. I didnt know how much of an asshole you are."
"Seb..."
"How did I become the mistress when I had you first?" he asked incredulously. "Youre married and you didnt even bother telling me. Youre married and youre still with me? How crazy are you? Are you that selfish, Anderson?"
"I didnt exactly agree to the matrimony a hundred percent; mom manipulated me and Kurt into the marriage agreement... I didnt know how she did that... but you know mom, she works mysteriously... she had prepared the whole wedding, only hours after we both gave our consent. We didnt have time to rethink our decisions."
"Then leave him, Blaine... please leave him and be with me. I need you, B." Sebastian begged as he kissed every part of Blaines face. "Please lets fix us... I love you... I need you in my life, B... Please say you love me too."
"I... I love you, Bas... Of course, I love you... but... but Kurt needed me more this time. Hes going through a delicate phase now, with his first pregnancy. He needs me; the baby needs me. Please understand, Seb. I cant be with you now," he said apologetically.
"I think Im going to be sick." Sebastian hauled himself up, away from the body he was trying to hold on to earlier. Suddenly, he couldnt breathe, he needed an out. His body is still trembling from all the information he just acquired. His boyfriend cheated on him, the said boyfriend became a father and now was married to another man. It was too much for one day; he hadnt had the time to grieve on the first, when Blaine had confessed his other lies. He needed to get out before he suffocated.
"If... If Kurt isnt pregnant, will... will there be an us again?" It was so unsettling that even when Blaine nodded his head, Sebastian still thought that Blaine was lying.
"Im not giving up on us, B," Sebastian promised before letting himself out of the apartment; leaving Blaine crying alone in the living room.
Kurt slowly opened the door and let himself inside. The room was silent, intensifying the tension inside. "Blaine?" he called gently to determine his husband whereabouts.
It had been hours since he saw a familiar figure running across the lobby towards the exit of the building. Sebastian and Blaines conversation must have ended at that point, and from the way he saw Sebastians stance, he guessed that it didnt go well, but Kurt stilled himself to wait in the lobby and give Blaine a few more hours alone to think.
"Blaine?" he called again and found Blaine lying on his king-sized bed. "Blaine?" he approached his husband, but not noticing first how messy his room was - things were thrown everywhere and empty bottles of beer were laid on the bed side.
"I fucked up," Blaine stated, staring at the rooms ceiling. "I ruined everything. I hurt Sebastian... I hurt him, but I didnt mean to... I swear I didnt mean to because I love him. I love him so much..." he slurred, both from crying and drinking.
"Wha-what about me?" Kurt asked quietly. That fucking hurts; for you to see the person you are in love with professes his love to another man. IT FUCKING HURTS. "What about us?"
Blaine sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Kurt, eyes blank as he said, "There was never an us. We started as strangers, well finish as strangers."
"What about last night?" Kurt asked as he wept. "Does that mean anything to you?"
"Its... its just sex, Kurt. Dont put meaning on it. I was horny and you were there... Its sex, thats it," he defended.
"Youre lying, youre lying... it did something to you... I felt it, we had a connection Blaine," he denied, begging for Blaine to tell him that he was right. "We made love last night..." he whispered.
"Its just sex!" Blaine shouted and if he was thinking clearly at the moment, he wouldnt grab Kurt; push him harshly on the bed and straddle him, but he was drunk, confused and angry, so he did it.
"Blaine, get off of me..." Kurt pleaded but Blaine only pinned his arms above his head.
"Shut up! Shut up!" he ordered and plunged his tongue to Kurts mouth. The kiss has no warmth, it was bitter just like Blaines emotion.
"Bl-Blaine, stop.. ple-... hmmph.." Kurt kept on struggling to free his hands from Blaines deathly grip, and tried turning his head sideways to make Blaine stop, but it didnt break Blaine from attacking his mouth. "Stop Blai- youre hur-hmmph... hurting me."
He ignored Kurts cries and continued assaulting his mouth, then with his other hand he ripped Kurts top open, making some of the buttons fall to the floor. He left a wet trail of spit from Kurts mouth to his neck, stopping on the nook where the shoulders blade and neck meet. "This is sex, Kurt," he said bitterly and then bit his neck and lapped it with his tongue, leaving Kurt with a huge dark hickey.
"Blaine please... I dont want this... please stop..." Kurt whimpered; he was in no way close to being turned on. He felt dirty and violated. "I dont want this, youre scaring me...please stop..."
"Come on, Kurt... say my name... you felt good yesterday..." Blaine teased darkly and played with Kurt nipples; repeatedly sucking and biting both of them. "Come on, Baby... I know you want it... taste so good..."
"Please, Blaine... please..." Kurt cries were definitely not of pleasure but Blaine took it that way and let his right hand push down the garment that was blocking his way to Kurts cock.
"No... please... no, no, no! Blaine stop!" Kurt wailed, terrified of being raped by his own husband.
It wasnt Kurts terrified voice or the soft cock in his hand that made him stop, it was the sudden salty taste of Kurts nipple that halted his action. He pushed himself from the bed and had now looked at a disheveled Kurt; tears were dropping onto his chest, eyes tightly shut and his whole body is trembling from fear.
"Why did you have to ruin my life?" he whispered, instead of apologizing to Kurt. He let himself up and sat on the edge of the bed; he hunched his body, bowed his head and tangled his fingers over the back of his neck.
For a moment Blaine could only hear Kurts whimper and the rustle of sheets. He used that moment to think, and think of his life now. He just lost his boyfriend because he got married to the father of his baby, and he just couldnt let himself be blamed for all of that.
He felt Kurt stand up from the bed; he raised his head and stared at the man who accidentally entered his hotel room and ruined his life by becoming pregnant with his child. It may be the alcohol in him, but he should have thought first before saying "I should have gotten rid of the baby when I had the chance."
Then he felt a sting on his right cheek, heard the stomp of footsteps accompanied by a series of sobs, and then a loud slam of the door.
Blaine was completely alone... again.
The storys summary is wrong; this is not just a story of two broken hearts but of four.
PURE ANGST! (I just shippED KADAM. Fuck!)
Reference to:
- Klaine: Break up has the similar reasons for the Seblaine fight; Kurt working too much causing Blaine to cheat
-The dialogue about cheating was originally Klaines on Dancing with Somebody episode; you know about being alpha and all
Title Reference:
"Confession" pertains to the main characters revelation of their feelings. (1) Adam confession to his feelings for Kurt-my favorite part. (2) Blaine admitted his mistakes to Sebastian (3) Kurt finally admitted to himself his feelings for Blaine (4) Sebastian told Blaine his insecurities of their relationship
Story outline:Story outline is the flow of the story for every chapter, so woe me because I have to make 6500 words of worth-reading chapter fill from these 5 sentences... (And the file was fucking corrupted! Its not easy!)
-Kurt pretends to be housemaid
-Seblaine being intimate that turns out to finding the truth
-Seblaine conversation
-Kadam Friendship
-Blaine Blaming Kurt
Scenes included: these were the scenes that SHOULD be included in the story flow. (its mostly the main event or an important factor in the story)
-Seb attain injury for Blaine
-Adam finds out the truth about the divorce
But not everything goes accordingly, I have to make some adjustments, Omissions or transfer scenes to another chapter... like Sebs injury or Kadam friendship (I didnt intend to write a Kadam moment before, it just happened) or Seblaines intimacies (but I change it to Klaine intimacy that will lead to finding the truth) to fit the story chapter... thats why your reviews are very important to me because it allows me to generate ideas and help me to be consistent with the story and character flow.
Anyone can be a writer, so start now and if you decide on doing so, go to the prompt page of my tumblr account and start filling it... hahaha... But seriously, help me find authors who are interested in filling my prompts.
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Review to Encourage!