Snow was falling, big thick flakes that covered the ground in huge drifts just perfect for making snowmen. The main drawback for Kurt and Blaine was that it was very difficult to push the wheelchair through the snow, so they weren't spending as much time out of doors. Miss Holiday was gone until January, so no school. They had all the time in the world to just relax and do whatever they wanted.

“Kuuuurt.”

“Wow, you sure can whiiiiine,” Kurt said, ruffling Blaine's curls. He had cut them last week, under duress, having to bribe Blaine with peppermint ice cream and hot butterscotch sauce.

“Well, there is absolutely nothing to do. Nothing.”

“Only the unimaginative person can be bored,” Kurt returned. “Oh..hey, come look at this!”

Blaine turned his chair to see out the bedroom window. Aramis was running through the back yard, his nose close to the ground, flipping snow like a shovel. He was wagging his tail and barking in ecstasy at the new sensation. He saw a bird at the other end of the yard and took off to chase it, the boys doubled up in laughter.

“He's YOUR dog, Kurt. You're going to have to clean him up when he comes in the house, you know. I'm not sleeping in a bed with cold melted snow spots,” Blaine giggled.

“Oh, you think so?” Kurt smiled.

“Now, Kurt...I was kidding...”

Kurt stepped over to the French doors and went out past the patio to the yard. He gathered a large handfull of snow and shaped it into a ball.

“What was that you were saying?” he asked Blaine, who was trying to move the chair back away from his boyfriend. Kurt walked slowly towards him, smiling and humming, tossing the smowball from one hand to the other. He caught up with Blaine and pulled back the sweater he was wearing and deposited the snowball down the front, receiving a very high-pitched squeal in return. Blaine grabbed the hem of the sweater, trying to remove the snow, while Kurt so helpfully patted his chest.

“Oh, the war is on now,” Blaine said, grabbing Kurt and shoving what was left of the snow down his shirt. The boys wrestled for a while, ending up on the floor tangled together and laughing. Blaine pulled off his sweater, then turned to pull off Kurt's shirt, unbuttoning it as he went, placing kisses on each inch he uncovered. “Cold now, honey?” he grinned.

“Getting warmer,” Kurt smiled, kissing Blaine's face and pulling him closer.

“Let's get off the floor and onto the bed, okay?” Blaine asked, but Kurt shook his head no. The boys kicked off their shoes. Kurt grabbed a pillow and put it under Blaine's head, then proceeded to unbutton his jeans and pull them off, throwing them up on the bed. Within a few minutes they were both naked and Kurt had pulled Blaine on top of him on the floor. Kissing slowly and sensually, he traced Blaine's jaw and under his chin, down his neck to the collarbone. He gently sucked the skin there, licking it before going on to the next spot – enjoying the sighs and moans coming from his boyfriend. Kurt rolled him off so they were side by side, cradling Blaine in his arms and pushing his nose into Blaine's neck. He took a deep whiff, loving the smell of Blaine. It was a clean smell, like spring rain and grass, with the background of the clove massage oil Kurt used on him.

Blaine was holding Kurt tight to his chest, just letting him kiss and suck his skin and letting it all happen to him. He felt so cared for, so safe, so loved and he could not imagine how this feeling never diminished, no matter how many times they came together. He tensed his hips, scooting closer to feel Kurt's skin touch him – all that long length of leg, the tight abdominal muscles, the strong chest, it was intoxicating to feel so much of him, all of it wrapped tightly around him, touching him. Blaine sighed, then shivered when Kurt moved his warm tongue to his nipple. He pushed his hips forward, rubbing his erection against Kurt's, seeking the friction they both wanted.

“Kurt...oh, oh...Kurt.” He didn't want to start babbling, but sometimes he just lost his head, could just feel the touch, the heat, the want, and his voice failed him. ”Kurt, I want more, can we do more?” He said, whispering in Kurt's ear.

“What do you want, baby, just tell me,” He whispered back, licking behind Blaine's ear, blowing air over the wet spot to see him shiver again.

“Everything, we haven't done everything yet...” Blaine said, probably more serious than he had planned because Kurt stopped and pulled back to look into those sparkling hazel eyes. He saw the need in them, they were dilated and dark and Blaine put his tongue out to lick his lips nervously.

“Blaine, we haven't even talked about that..do you want to do it right now? On the floor?” Kurt asked, a little shocked.

“No...I guess not. I was just thinking about it. Kurt, I just love you so much, I want everything. I want to give back some of what I feel, shit....I'm not making sense, am I? I just think about it all the time. We...we ...can we talk about it tonight, Kurt?” Blaine looked away, embarrassed that he was so needy.

“Oh, baby, you know we can talk about anything, right? How long have you been thinking about this?” Kurt asked, his fingers under Blaine's chin, tipping his head up to look in his eyes.

Blaine looked back into those liquid blue eyes, catching his breath a little. “For a long time, Kurt. Ever since the day we were in the bathtub, or that first massage. I just think I'm ready...or will be soon.”

“Okay, we will talk about it tonight, I want to be sure that it's right for you, that it's the right time. We've been together less than eight months and I want it to last our whole lives. I'm kind of scared.”

Blaine reached over, brushing the chestnut hair from Kurt's forehead. “Don't be scared, we're in this together, forever. Now, I'm getting cold – can we take a nice long hot bath?” He closed the gap between them, kissing Kurt with all his passion. Kurt kissed him back, rolling over on top of him, clutching him close to his chest, running his hands down his back and over his ass.

They broke apart, Kurt lifting Blaine and taking him into the bathroom, running hot water into the bathtub, adding jasmine oil to the running water. He lifted Blaine into the foaming water, followed him and they cuddled together for a few minutes, adjusting to the temperature of the water. Blaine turned in the tub, sliding into Kurt's lap, facing him so he could continue kissing. Kurt held him close, rubbing small circles into his back, and continued kissing where he had left off. He moved closer to Blaine's ear, whispering, “Are you warmer, baby?”

“Yes. I guess I was getting chilled out there on the floor...but this is nice,” Blaine cooed. Kurt washed Blaine's back and they continued washing and kissing until the water got cool.

Back in bed, Kurt tucked the sheets and blankets around his boyfriend to keep him warm. He slipped on a robe and went to let Aramis into the mudroom, shutting the door so the dog could dry off before coming in the rest of the house. There was a warm dog bed and fresh water for Aramis in the mud room. Kurt stepped back into the bedroom and removed the robe after shutting and locking the door, and crawled under the covers with Blaine.

“I think my balls have passed blue and are now indigo; we've been working on foreplay for over two hours, Kurt.” Blaine grinned when Kurt slid next to him.

“It's not my fault you got cold on the floor and then you can't hold your breath under water long enough to give me a blow job.”

Blaine just blinked, but when he saw Kurt grinning he laughed, too. “Okay, well, I guess I'll have to make up for it, won't I?”

Kurt hummed, resuming kissing where he had left off. His hand touched Blaine's hip, rubbing and caressing across his stomach and down the front of his thigh. He ran his fingers between his thighs, moving his legs apart a little, slowly caressing his balls. Blaine moaned, he was so hard after twice getting to this point without release today. He shivered, wanting it to last but also wanting Kurt to give him more friction. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe slower, not to pant. Kurt knew by looking at him that he wouldn't take long.

He stopped touching Blaine, moved back, and Blaine whimpered. Kurt was leaning over to open the drawer in the bedside table. He put a thick layer of lube on his fingers, then turned back over to rub the soft skin inside Blaine's thighs with his dry hand.

“Do you want more, baby?” he whispered into Blaine's neck as he left a kiss there.

“Yes, Kurt....more,” he managed to whisper back.

Kurt placed his fingers behind Blaine's balls, rubbing slowly as he moved back to his entrance, then going in gentle circles around the ring of muscle. Blaine was gripping Kurt's hipbone, trembling and moaning. Kurt inserted his first finger, moving it agonizingly slow until Blaine said, “Faster...harder,” and Kurt complied. He moved like that until Blaine seemed to relax and he added another finger, moving it into the warmth. He began a rhythm, slow but steady as Blaine's eyes dilated and he finally closed them, unable to even pretend he was paying attention to anything else. He had planted his feet on the bed and tried to move, but his legs had no strength, so he let them fall back to the bed.

Kurt understood and moved his angle, massaging deeper until he found the right place and Blaine gasped and bucked his hips, the hot feeling of pleasure spreading through his lower belly to his cock, until Kurt leaned down to pull it into his mouth. By the second time he had pushed his mouth down, he had the tip almost in his throat, managing not to choke as he added suction and moved his lube-covered fingers, curling to find the place again. Blaine took a deep breath, and came deep into Kurt's throat, chanting Kurt's name over and over.

Blaine lay back, breathing heavily but not letting go of Kurt's arms. He was rubbing up and down, finally stopping and closing his eyes. Kurt sighed. A second later, Blaine had turned back to him, almost lunging as he put his mouth on Kurt's still erect cock, taking it in farther than he ever had before, moving up and down, sucking at the tip and running his tongue around the ridge. Kurt was taken by surprise but recovered quickly, rolling onto his other hip to help the angle. Blaine found the lube and flipped the top open with one hand, spilling some into his hand. He began to massage with that hand, into Kurt's hole, lubricating and sliding two fingers in and out, Kurt gasping as Blaine echoed Kurt's movements from just a few moments ago. Blaine knew exactly what it felt like and if he had been able, he would be hard again just thinking about it.

“Come, kitten, come for me,” Blaine whispered and put his lips back on Kurt, moving down as far as he could, humming vibrations and stroking the place inside him that brought him to the edge. One last swallow and Kurt came, moaning and trembling.

Half an hour later, Kurt was cuddling Blaine next to his heart, placing kisses in his hair, gently rubbing his shoulder. “Blaine...”

“Yeah?” Blaine sounded sleepy, but awake enough to talk.

“You wanted to talk tonight. Are you too tired now?” Kurt asked. “If you are, we can wait. But if not, I just wanted you to know I'm here.”

“I did. I thought it would be easy, since we're so close, since we probably both think we know the mind of the other. But it's just....well, I think because we are so close we might assume things that should actually be spoken. Does that make sense?”

“Yes, Blaine, it does. It's better for us if we speak our minds and don't shy away from hard subjects. What is on your mind? You can say anything to me, baby,” Kurt gave his boyfriend a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

“When I got sick, I think I understand how you felt. Cooper told me they thought I might not make it.” Kurt looked at Blaine, tears pooling in his blue eyes. He did not want to be reminded of that time, he had felt so desolate, but there must be a good reason, so he held his tongue and nodded for Blaine to go on. “We both know that it was you that made me hold on, made me fight to stay. I only remember asking you not to leave me – and you never did. I owe you my life, Kurt.”

“No, baby. You are a fighter. It is true I never left you, I never will as long as you need me. But it was your own strength that pulled you through. And I am so grateful.”

“The thing I want to say is....” Blaine had been thinking this over for a month, but still had trouble stringing words together in a coherent sentence. “I want to say that because I was so weak, when I was first out of danger, that everyone made decisions for me. I know that was the way it had to be, I really wasn't able to make them for myself. You and Coop, the doctors, Burt, Carole – you protected me. But, Kurt, I am better. Oh, I know I lack strength in my legs and all, but my mind is fine. Isn't it?”

“Of course it is! What are you getting at?” The worry lines on Kurt's forehead deepened.

“Just that sometimes I want to be able to make a decision and not have everyone involved try to rethink it just because they have some sort of misguided desire to protect me from myself. It's true that I might make a bad decision - but I might not, and I want the freedom to make that decision. I did just fine with making all sorts of choices before I got sick, and I made good ones – or I learned from poor ones. I miss being independent, Kurt. I know you love me. I get it. I love you, too, but I don't second guess your every choice based on whether it has some vague potential to harm you.” Blaine's voice was getting higher in pitch, he was pulling away from Kurt's arms. He finally sat, a few inches from Kurt, arms crossed tightly across his chest, breathing deeply and trying in vain to calm himself. “There's a reason they call you 'Mama Tiger', you know.”

Kurt was dumbfounded. “Blaine...I didn't mean to do that. I guess I had you wrapped up so tight in a cocoon to keep you safe, I was suffocating you. You have no idea how terrified I was that I might do something wrong, and your health – or even your life – would be the price. When you started to improve, I should have relaxed that hold, but it was too hard. I didn't want to loose you, like I did my mo........” Kurt stopped cold and just stared at Blaine. “OH.....oh, my stars, I'm sorry.” Kurt turned his head.

“Kurt? I'm sorry, too. I wanted to tell you why I needed to make some decisions for myself, I never thought it might be about losing your mother.” Blaine reached out and touched Kurt's arm, just a tiny bit of contact to let him know he was here, that Kurt was not alone. Blaine expected tears, but there were none. Kurt sat very still for a while, blinking slowly and watching a spot across the room. Finally, Aramis jumped up on the bed and pushed his way between the boys, licking Kurt's face. Kurt snapped out of it, pushing the collie away, but smiling as he did so. Blaine began to think things might be okay.

Kurt turned to Blaine and pulled him back beside him, Blaine snuggling close to his boyfriend's side. They both sighed and looked at each other. Smiles began on their faces, shy with blushed cheeks until they moved together for a chaste kiss.

“So, things are okay, right?” Blaine asked.

“Yeah, they are,” Kurt returned. “But it would have been easier if you were just wanting to ask when we can go all the way.”

The red hot blush ran up Blaine's face, causing a coughing fit. Kurt helpfully patted him on his back, trying not to blush himself and finally bursting into nervous giggles – which earned him a smack on his side as Blaine started giggling, too.

“I was going to get around to that, Kurt. I know we have done so many things, and I loved every one. But are we going to ...ah....are we going to lose our virginity together...soon?” Blaine was comfortable saying anything to Kurt. He was. Really. But for some reason, he was too shy to discuss this in proper terms. He just sat there, looking at Kurt while waves of different color blushes painted his skin. If he had been observant, he'd have seen the same blush on Kurt.

“I thought you considered that I had lost mine to Mercedes a long time ago,” Kurt said, looking sad.

“Do you think that, Kurt? I have to say, I consider that a whole different thing, more of a.......I don't know, childhood experiment? I know she is your best friend, Kurt, and I know you love her. I'm okay with that. But is it the same way you love me?” Blaine looked straight into Kurt's eyes, hazel and green gazing deep into blue-green glasz.

“No, Blaine, it isn't at all. That night does mean something to me, and although it wasn't planned, it was done with love. But Mercedes - for all that I love in her, for all that I owe her, for all that she will always mean to me - -she is not the person I'm in love with. You are, Blaine. She is my friend, baby, but you are the love of my life. Do you understand that? And you can call that act we are contemplating sex or intercourse or coitus, but if it is with you, Blaine, it will be making love. I can't think of it any other way. I want to do it, I want it so bad some days I can't think of anything else. It burns inside me, just imagining how it will feel. You already make me feel so good – with every stroke, every kiss, every touch, but sharing that act of making love? Oh, Blaine....I want you so much.” Kurt just about melted into Blaine, holding him so close, kissing him - first on his soft lips, then licking his way into Blaine's mouth, tongues dancing together. He kissed down Blaine's neck, stopping to suck warmth to the surface, a deep keening whine in his throat. His hands were gripping Blaine so tightly, he was leaving bruises.

Blaine didn't know what to say...this emotion of Kurt's was spilling over and surrounding him. It was so powerful, Blaine wasn't sure at first how to react. He found himself kissing back, a frenzy of feelings buzzing in his head. “Kurt...Kurt.. oh, I love you, too. I need you, I want you. I want to share everything with you.”

They held each other, kissing and snuggling, speaking small things in whispers, sharing their hopes and dreams. Finally, with a contented sigh, they were silent, taking pleasure from just being together – breathing the same air and thinking the same thoughts. A few minutes later, Kurt and Blaine were fast asleep under the warm cashmere blanket – Blaine's nose snuggled close in Kurt's neck, arms around each other, legs tangled together.