“Don't try to comprehend with your mind. Your minds are very limited. Use your intuition.” ~Madeleine L'engle, A Wrinkle in Time

Days of Glory – Chapter Three – Getting to Know You

July 15, 2015 – Kurt & Blaine's house in Warner Lumber Camp, Oregon

“Let's go out on the balcony with her and cuddle together in the hammock,” Kurt suggested. They had placed their hammock out there when they first moved to the log house in the Oregon woods. They spent a lot of time in the summer lying together there, listening to the birds and the wind in the trees. The view was spectacular through the trees and down the side of the mountain.

Blaine held Katura Elizabeth as Kurt got in, then handed her back and spread the thick quilt over them. He crawled in, snuggling close to keep the baby warm. She drained the bottle and burped, then they cradled her between them.

“Hi, Katura Elizabeth. You are on the balcony with your daddies and we are both keeping you warm tonight. We want you to grow up to love your family, so I think I need to tell you how your Tatay and I fell in love. It was six years ago and my first day on this mountain, I looked up and saw an angel with black silky curls. That angel was your Tatay,” Kurt told his daughter.

“As a family, we're going to do a lot of things together. Ride mules, go camping, make rabbit pie and cinnamon rolls,” Blaine told their daughter.

“Tatay taught me to tie flies and how to catch fish – I caught the biggest fish in the river once. I can teach you to do that, my little one,” Kurt said, “but I think the very first thing we need to do together as a family is to stargaze. Your Tatay and I fell in love in the meadow just over there. The first constellation you need to learn is Orion.”

“That's his belt, those three stars, darling. Just like on Daddy's necklace......”

The tiny girl waved her hands at the necklace as Kurt swung it over her face. It was the pendant that Blaine had given Kurt with Orion's Belt in tiny diamonds on a dark blue background.

Katura's eyes sparkled as she tried in vain to follow along as it swung back and forth. Giving up, she snuggled into her daddies one more time, sighing as sleep took over her eyes. Blaine pulled the blanket up to keep their new daughter warm. He and Kurt were facing each other, the smiles on their faces had been there ever since they'd received the letter from the social worker asking them if they wanted to adopt this little pink bundle of love.

“We better get inside, Tatay,” Kurt said softly, enjoying the feel of the words as they left his mouth. Tatay – the Filipino word for Daddy. The thought that he and Blaine were now fathers to this tiny life was a big, all-encompassing thought. This was real. He'd been moving in a dream for the past few days, everything that had happened: meeting the baby at the hospital, bringing her home, the visit with the new grandparents – oh, the look of love on Burt's face! - it was all like a dream. Until now. Looking at the love painted all over Blaine's face, this is what made it all real.

“Blaine....” he whispered, his head spinning for a moment.

“Here, you hold her and I'll get up first, we don't want to spill her out of the hammock!”

Blaine laughed. He stood up, then took his daughter in his arms as Kurt got out of the hammock, too. They walked together to Katura's crib, Kurt straightening the long expanse of oxygen tubing as he walked along. The large oxygen container was in her room with 25 feet of tubing so they could take her anywhere in the house. They had a portable oxygen converter for when they had to take the baby anywhere outside the house.

Blaine laid the sleeping baby down in her crib and Kurt leaned over to kiss her soft cheek. He took Blaine's hand and smiled.

“Daddy,” he whispered as he pulled Kurt closer to give him a soft kiss.

“Tatay. Let's go to bed, my angel,” Kurt whispered.

“Yes...I'm so tired. Aww, look at our daughter sleeping. So beautiful.”

“She is that. Goodnight, Katura,” Kurt told her.

“Do you like that name, babe? Our little Katura Elizabeth?,” Blaine asked as they walked down the hallway to their bedroom.

Kurt had campaigned pretty hard to name the baby 'Angel', but Blaine couldn't bear to have her named anything that implied she would die. He'd only ever heard of a child referred to as an angel if they had 'gone to heaven'. Kurt listened to his husband that night and went to bed with tears in his eyes thinking how close he'd come to making Blaine so sad. He hoped that naming her after his dead grandmother wouldn't invoke the same melancholy.

“Yes. Maybe when she is older and needs a nickname we might call her Katie? Was that what they called your grandmother?” Kurt asked, running his fingers through his hair.

“That would be good,” Blaine smiled back. “I don't know what they called her, I don't really remember my grandmother – but I have seen pictures of her. There is one where she was holding Cooper on her lap and I used to imagine that little boy was me, but she died when I was just a baby. I have always thought the name was magical. Thank you for letting me name her that.”

Kurt smiled and put a comforting arm around Blaine's shoulders. He knew his husband sometimes craved the family he'd lost when he was young. Cooper was very close to him, as close as any brother could be, but there was a bit of melancholy in Blaine and Kurt hoped that agreeing to name their baby after his grandmother might help with that. He leaned over and took Blaine in his arms, giving him a warm hug. He kept holding on until Blaine hugged tighter, squeezing Kurt until he allowed himself to relax and lean into Kurt's embrace.

It was exactly what Blaine needed and he wondered for the thousandth time how Kurt knew when he needed that.

The men got ready for bed, taking their time – a soft caress here, a small kiss there as they pulled on the warm flannel pajamas. They got into bed and rolled towards each other.

“Tired?” Kurt asked.

“Yeah, but not too tired if you had something else in mind...?” Blaine replied, touching his husband's face and smiling into the big, blue eyes.

“Oh....oh, Blaine, no...I was just thinking we could talk for a while? But if you...” Kurt stammered.

Blaine laughed.

“No, Babe, I thought...well, what did you want to talk about?”

“Just – everything. How do you think our families liked Katura?” Kurt asked.

“I think they are just as much in love with her as we are!” Blaine grinned. “And really, who wouldn't love a sweet baby like our daughter?”

“Ah – everyone? Wow, do I feel lucky. First I get to marry the most kind, generous, loving man on God's green Earth and I'm still reeling from that when we get to be daddies to the sweetest little bundle of darling pink love that ever existed. How could anyone be luckier than that?” Kurt gushed. Blaine just rolled his eyes.

“Really?”

Kurt bent over with laughter. “Okay, okay...maybe that is a bit over the top, but it's how I feel right now.”

“Well, thank you, but there is one person luckier than you. Me. Because I get you, too.”

Kurt smiled at his husband's playful quip and leaned forward to catch those beautiful, kissable lips.

“Wow, it's getting deep in here, Babe. I'm guessing that complementing us was not the only thing on your mind?” Blaine asked, looking in Kurt's eyes.

“No, not all. I just – umm – I just wanted to tell you something,” Kurt said in a soft voice, looking down at the blankets.

“Hey, tell me what's wrong. Are those tears?” Blaine asked, cupping Kurt's chin in his hand and gently tipping his husband's head back up so he could look in his eyes once again. “Tell me.”

“It's just...I'm scared. I mean, what do I know about babies? The only baby I ever held before Katura was Quinn's and Puck's baby, Beth, and that was for maybe five minutes the day she was born. Before the classes we took last week I had never changed a diaper, never fed a baby with a bottle, never even kissed a baby on her soft cheek! What gives me the right to have a daughter?” Kurt said, spilling out his emotions and all of his doubts about being a father. “Does every father have these fears?”

“I bet they do, Kurt. Did you think I was any different? There are not a lot of babies born in lumber camps you know. Where would I have learned about caring for a baby? I'm as lost as you are, honey,” Blaine commiserated with Kurt. “I don't have any more right to be a father than you do – but I think we're going to be fine. We have the visiting nurse coming three days a week, we have phone numbers for everyone from Carole to Mrs. Charles, the social worker, to the emergency room of the closest hospital. We'll be fine,” Blaine reassured his husband. He'd felt much the same way at first, but the thoughts of his own father gave him courage.

“You know, my dad brought me to this lumber camp when I was less than a week old. He managed to keep me alive,” Blaine grinned, but it had a hint of melancholy that Kurt picked up on. He scooted closer to Blaine and put his arms around him in a warm hug.

“I know. You were a lucky baby from what Cooper has told me – a whole camp of lumberjacks as guardian angels to help look after you. You must have been the most spoiled child this side of the Mississippi River,” Kurt teased, then let his lips find Blaine's mouth and kissed him.

“I think we're going to be alright. Daddy.”

“I think so, too, Tatay.”

“Was that all that was bothering you, babe?” Blaine asked.

“That was the main one. I mean – well, everything concerning Katura is a worry. I'm really afraid I'll be alone with her and the alarm will go off and I can't get her breathing again...”

“You and I did the infant CPR class, didn't we? We both passed. Besides, the nurse at the hospital told us that it is unlikely she will ever need it. Lots of babies are born with RSV and they outgrow it. She is getting better every day they told us. Shannon told me a long time ago: don't borrow trouble. I think she was right. We're prepared for the situation if an emergency comes up. Plus, you are the most level-headed man I've ever know, Kurt. You won't panic. Katura couldn't be in better hands.”

“You really believe that?”

“I do. I have every confidence in you and your abilities to care for our daughter,” Blaine said as he leaned forward to kiss Kurt on his neck, near his collarbone where it brought shivers across his chest. “Ohhh look at that!” Blaine cooed and proceeded to do it again. He loved making his husband tingle like that.

“Stop!” Kurt giggled. “That tickles.”

“Hmmm...I wonder where else might be ticklish?” he pondered, then went on a treasure hunt to see where the next ticklish place might be hiding. He started at Kurt's neck and worked his way down his chest, unbuttoning the flannel pajama shirt as he went. Kurt sighed with contentment and ran his fingers through his husband's silky black curls.

“Ohhh..” he gasped as Blaine's lips went over his nipple, then came back to use his tongue. “Mmmmm, baby...”

Blaine celebrated his victory by unbuttoning the rest of the buttons and exploring further, his warm tongue finding places that made Kurt whine and stammer. “Still tired?”

“No...not tired at all, Blaine. What did you have in mind?” Kurt asked, surrendering to Blaine's fingers as he began to pull down Kurt's pajama pants. Kurt reached over to help him off with his pajamas and they cuddled together under the warm blankets. Fingers and tongues found the best spots and soon Kurt was begging Blaine to do more.

“Can you...ahhhh...can we make love? Are you too tired?” Kurt asked, hoping he knew the answer.

Blaine answered by finding the little bottle in the drawer and bringing it out. He squeezed some of the thick liquid onto his fingers and pulled the blanket over their heads before finding the right place on Kurt's warm body, slowly rubbing the lube into his skin, working the strong muscle open.

“Relax, Babe, close your eyes and relax,” he coaxed. Kurt tried to do just that, imagining in his mind just what Blaine was going to do next. For some reason he always had to force himself to relax, it never seemed to come naturally, but Blaine was a generous lover and his patience made Kurt feel lucky.

Blaine slowed down, his fingers rubbing the secret flesh in a gentle circle.

“Are you okay, Kurt? I'm going to need you to relax more than this if you want me inside you, baby. Are you stressed, maybe?” Blaine whispered, giving his husband tender kisses along his jaw and and down to his neck. He began stroking his side to get him to relax further. Kurt gave him a soft look of love and then closed his eyes to concentrate on relaxing his body.

“I'm okay. Maybe just a little stressed because of everything that has happened over the past week. Just...kiss me?” Kurt asked, his arms going around Blaine's neck as they kissed for a while. The urge to moan finally won out over his need to be quiet so as not to awaken their daughter.

“Oh...there, right there...” he breathed, willing Blaine to push just a bit harder and to find the right place. He didn't have to wait long before Blaine was rubbing in just the exact spot and Kurt's heart began to pound in his chest and his breath came deeper. “Blaine...”

They didn't need to speak any more, not after the years of frequent sex. They understood each other, were almost psychic about what the other one wanted or needed. Blaine could feel Kurt's muscles tightening just a bit – his breath coming quicker, a sign he was ready. Carefully, gently, Blaine entered his husband, who was just as tight and warm and wonderful as he had been the very first time. While it took months, even years, for them to work and think in tandem with a lot of things, this had always been something that had just been right from the beginning.

“Kurt...” Blaine moaned, still amazed each time at how well they fit, how it had never gotten tiresome or boring – on the contrary, sex was one of the best things about being together and they took full advantage of it still.

“It isn't going to take long, Babe...” Blaine said, feeling the beginnings of the heat that filled his whole being each time just before he came. Kurt was in the same place, wanting to make it good for Blaine, but nearing his own climax.

“Blaine...Blaine..” Kurt chanted, reaching for his cock to just stroke it – and finding Blaine was there a step ahead of him. Blaine took his husband in hand, knowing just how to hold him and how to move to his best advantage. He started to move a bit sporadically as he tried to hold back – wanting Kurt to come first. He was getting dizzy, the room spinning around him as he held himself back from climaxing. Kurt knew what he was doing and leaned up, kissing his lips and then plunging his tongue into Blaine's mouth. The extra stimulation sort of backfired as Kurt's body did what it was meant to, not listening to Kurt's wish to wait. He came hard, his muscles stiffening as all of his body was ready for the culmination of the event. His orgasm seemed as if it lasted forever, his throat forcing moans from his lungs, his hands clenching Blaine's biceps tightly, and the hot, amazing feeling shot all through him.

Kurt's climax triggered Blaine's, as it often did, and he couldn't stop it another second. Blaine came, Kurt's name on his lips as he indulged in the feeling. He rode it out, trying not to push too hard but losing control towards the end.

Afterwards they lay together, neither one wanting to move for a few minutes as the subterranean tremors eventually slowed to a stop.

Blaine kissed Kurt so tenderly, his love for his husband taking over every feeling in his mind. He finally pulled back, careful not to get their sheets sticky. Leaning over the side of the mattress, he got a small box of baby wipes from the basket they kept under the bed and cleaned them up. They lay together, just being in the same space, for a while before either one spoke.

“Shower?” Blaine asked.

“Sure.”

They made their way into the bathroom and Blaine turned on the water. He still couldn't believe the warm water was there each and every time they turned on a faucet. Blaine had grown up in the cabin that sat across the road from this house, having to heat the water on the stove when he wanted a bath. It was backbreaking work to chop the wood, haul the water, and all the little things involved in bathing back then, although Blaine never minded, even in the colder seasons, because it helped him keep his body in good condition. Now they lived in a more modern house, designed by Kurt, built by the camp lumberjacks as a wedding present for Kurt and Blaine.

Stepping into the shower, he held out a hand to Kurt and helped him in. They began soaping each other up, washing and kissing until they were clean. Then drying each other off with thick terry-cloth towels and back into the warm thermal pajamas and back to bed.

“Are you tired now?” Kurt teased.

“Oh, are you saying you're ready for round two, mister?”

“If you are...”

“Oh, then no. I need some sleep before Miss Katura decides to wake up and demand her bottle. It's my turn, right?”

“That it is, Tatay, but wake me up if you want and I'll keep you two company?” Kurt offered.

“I might just take you up on that, Babe.”

The two men snuggled down under the thick blankets, holding each other as they fell asleep.

A week later...

“Waaaaaaaa...”

Blaine sat up quickly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He looked around, not sure why he was awake.

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaa..........”

Kurt opened his eyes. He looked at Blaine, who was sitting beside him, and grinned.

“Oh, your turn to go get the bottle, right Tatay?” he asked, a smirk on his face.

“Are you laughing at me, Babe?”

“Of course not, no! Would I do that?” Kurt asked, trying to hide his grin.

“Yes. Yes, you would. But keep in mind that turnabout is fair play and you cannot get upset when I laugh at you tomorrow when it's your turn.”

“Sorry. Would you like me to go get her milk? I'm awake anyway, you can go get her and I'll bring the bottle. Okay?” Kurt offered, kissing Blaine's lips before he got out of bed. He slipped on his warm bathrobe and slippers, helped his sleepy husband on with his, and went downstairs to the kitchen to fix the bottle.

Coming back into the bedroom, Kurt was struck by the domestic scene in front of him. Blaine sat in the rocking chair that he had brought from the old cabin. The chair had been through a lot in its life - Cooper told his little brother that their dad had rocked both of them to sleep in that very rocker. It was the same birch-wood rocker that Blaine's father, Sterling, was rocked to sleep in by his mother. Blaine had refinished it and the wood looked like honey. He was holding little Katura, all wrapped up in the bunny blanket Kurt had bought for her on the day they went to Corvalis to bring their baby home.

Blaine was smiling that secret smile he saved for his daughter, holding her close to his chest to keep her warm.

“Oh, little one, I love you so much. I'm your Tatay, baby girl. Do you know how lucky you are? Not only do you have me, but you have your Daddy, too, and we will love you forever,” he went on, not really making a lot of sense, but the tone of his voice was reassuring to Katura as she lay in his arms.

Kurt handed him the bottle of warm milk and smiled down at the scene, his husband and daughter making a picture of domestic bliss. Taking his camera from the top of the dresser, he snapped a picture. Blaine smiled up at him, winking.

Daddy Kurt sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning against the pillows as he watched. Katura held her tiny hands in fists, her eyes closed in concentration as she tried to drink the milk. He could see her getting more frustrated until Blaine took the bottle away, looking at it closely. He turned the bottle upside-down and pinched the nipple, but nothing came out and baby Katura continued to fuss.

“Something's wrong with the bottle, she wasn't getting anything out...” Blaine observed, unscrewing the cap to inspect it. “Here, hold Katura while I figure this out, please.”

Kurt took the baby, giving her the pacifier to suck on for comfort while they fixed her bottle.

Blaine poked at the inside of the nipple, and discovered that a bit of the dry formula hadn't dissolved properly. He cleared the nipple and replaced the cap, shaking it up again and testing to be sure it was working.

Meanwhile, Katura was hungry and began to cry in earnest. She shook her tiny fists and took in shallow breaths.

“Blaine. She's turning blue...look at her fingers,” Kurt said with urgency, being careful not to shout and scare the baby further. Blaine looked over at his daughter as her lips turned blue. Both of the parents felt panic, but kept their heads. Blaine took her into his arms, cuddling her close to his warm body and gave her the bottle. Kurt went to follow the tubing for the oxygen to see if there was something wrong. He found it was kinked and the oxygen wasn't getting to Katura. He straightened the tubing, making sure there were no more kinks and got back into bed.

“It was just a kink in the hose,” Kurt told his husband, getting a smile in return, and they settled together, Blaine holding the bottle for their daughter.

Katura calmed down right away, sucking the milk as quickly as she could, grunting as she decided it was not coming quickly enough. Blaine looked up at Kurt, relieved to see a calmness come across his husband's face, too, as the blue lips and fingers turned pink in front of their eyes. Kurt sighed in relief and put his arms around Blaine and Katura, very gently so as not to upset her further.

“I think she's fine now, honey,” Blaine said, seeing his daughter now closing her eyes in contentment as her tummy began to feel full and warm.

“That scared me. I hadn't seen her turn blue like that since we brought her home,” Kurt said, looking for agreement on Blaine's face.

“Me, neither, but I think she's fine. It was just that the bottle was clogged and then the oxygen was cut off – you would have been able to fix it, too, as soon as you saw what was wrong. You know that, right?” Blaine asked. He knew Kurt had been frightened and he didn't want him to lose confidence in his ability to be a dad to Katura. Kurt did half fix it as he found the kink in the hose.

“Yeah. I guess I didn't shake it enough when I made the bottle,” he said, frowning.

“It could happen to anyone. Now, come back over here and we can snuggle her between us until she finishes the bottle,” Blaine smiled at Kurt. Kurt moved closer and laid down on his pillow facing Blaine as he settled the tiny baby between them.

“Look, she's forgotten she was ever under stress at all, look at her little face,” Blaine said, touching her soft cheek and smiling as Kurt kissed her hair.

They lay there, watching as their daughter finished the bottle, and burped when her Tatay patted her back.

“Okay, missy, back to your bed. I'll see you in about four hours,” Kurt said. Blaine took her back to the crib and tucked her bunny blanket around her.

“Good night, sweet girl,” he whispered and stumbled back to bed. He set the bottle beside the bed to wash in the morning and crawled under the blankets to snuggle into Kurt's arms. Despite being almost asleep, Kurt resettled his arms around Blaine before relaxing into the blankets and drifting off to sleep.

Blaine woke up to the sound of the wolf-dog, Balto, barking outside their bedroom door. Kurt sat up, too, and started to get up to see what was wrong with the dog. The baby monitor came on and they heard sounds of Katura waking up. Her request for breakfast began as Kurt opened the door. Balto raced down the hallway, sitting in front of the nursery and turning to look at Kurt as if asking him to hurry.

“Oh, you hear her getting ready to ask for breakfast, boy?” Kurt asked the dog. Balto wagged his tail as Katura got a bit more vocal in asking for her bottle.

Kurt smiled and opened the door, grabbing the doorknob as Balto pushed his way in and stopping at the crib to sniff at the baby. He sat down, looking over his shoulder at Kurt as if to ask him to please feed the poor little thing.

Kurt lifted Katura and cuddled her close, adjusting the oxygen tube so it wouldn't pull at her cheeks when he walked back down the hallway. He stopped at the changing table to get her a fresh diaper and a new sleeper. All clean and fresh, Kurt took her into his bedroom just as Blaine got there with the warm bottle.

“Come get back under the blankets, Babe,” Blaine coaxed. He loved cuddling with the two of them in the early hours. He and Kurt had often watched the sun rise together from their bedroom window, which faced east, and having the baby with them just made it even more special.

As soon as Katura's tummy was filled with milk, she elected to go back to sleep.

“Oh, look at her cheeks!” Kurt said, worried about the tape chaffing her soft skin where the oxygen tubes were anchored. They had to tape the tubes, otherwise the nasal cannula slipped away from her tiny nose, but it was a constant battle to move the tape so it didn't cause any damage to her tender new skin. Kurt's eyes filled with tears as he looked closer, worried that it was painful or might cause scarring. The rash the adhesive caused was raw and he went to get a warm wet washcloth to ease the removal of the tape.

Kurt had come back to try to remove the tape when there was a knock at the front door. Leaving their daughter with Kurt, Blaine was up and on his way to answer. He had slept in late. It was almost nine o'clock and he was still in his pajamas as he opened the door to find the visiting nurse.

“Good morning, Mr. Hummel-Andersonl,” the cheerful woman greeted him. He smiled at her warm greeting and opened the door wide.

“It is a good morning, Miss Day. Please come in. Kurt was just getting ready to bring Katura downstairs.”

They went into the main room to sit down until Kurt came downstairs with Katura. He was dressed and so was the baby.

“I'll just slip upstairs and get ready for the day,” he said, leaving Kurt and Katura to entertain Miss Day.

“Please, you can call us Kurt and Blaine,” Kurt invited Miss Day as she set up her equipment.

“Oh, well you may call me Cora,” she smiled, reaching out to take the baby from Kurt's hands. “How are we doing today, Miss Katura?”

The baby gurgled and tried to reach back to her daddy's hands.

“Oh, a daddy's girl are you?” Cora said, putting the tiny blood pressure cuff on her arm and listening with her stethoscope. Kurt was silent as she wrote down numbers on a form and went on to check her pulse-ox.

“Everything looks right as rain,” Cora said as Blaine rejoined them in front of the fireplace. He got busy making a fire to warm the room. “Do either of you have questions?”

“This morning the air hose got kinked and Katura's fingers and lips started to turn blue,” Blaine told her.

“Was she connected to the monitor? Did it go off?” Cora asked, looking a bit concerned.

“No, she was with us in our room, we were giving her the 4 a.m. feeding and as soon as we noticed we found the kink and straightened it out. I think it just got tangled when we brought her in the room,” Blaine explained.

“I think she would have been fine – her pulse-ox on room oxygen is still 93. That is within safe bounds,” Cora explained. “Just be sure to check it when you put her to bed.”

“I was wondering how bad the tape rash is on her little cheeks, where we tape the cannula so she can get her oxygen. It looks so sore – is there anything I can put on it? I'd hate to have her scar from that,” Kurt voiced.

“Oh, I have something that might work. No, don't put anything on it. If you use any type of product, it will get trapped under the tape and make her break out worse. Here, this is called 'New Skin' and you put a patch on each cheek. Then tape the tubing on top of it so the tape is only touching the New Skin and not her actual skin,” the visiting nurse instructed as she put the New Skin on Katura, then had Kurt tape the tubes.

“Oh, there! So much better, sweetheart,” he cooed at his daughter. It did look much better.

Blaine asked if she would like to stay for a bit of breakfast, but Miss Day declined and left with the promise of seeing them in a few days for their Thursday appointment.

“She's doing so well,” Kurt grinned, looking over at his husband.

“Of course! She has the two of us to take care of her. I suspect that the hard times – chicken pox, prom dates, heartbreak, are all ahead of her. We'll look back on this as a calm before the storm,” Blaine kidded. He didn't know how right he was.