Chapter 4 - Gay man

Yes, Amanda was naive, but she wasn't stupid. She knew exactly what it means gay or lesbian. When she was a kid no one really told her about it, but when she started going to school Amanda heard names like "fag" or "homo". Most boys called others like this, when someone wasn't that fast or strong like the other. Even then Amanda understood that it was wrong.

When she grew up, she got more information and understood that there are lots of gays and lesbians in the world. Amanda heard other people whispering about them or loudly criticizing. She saw some television programs about it and knew that some famous people are gay. But she's never met anyone, who was gay so it looked like a foreign world to her. Something unrealistic and far away from her beautiful life.

People didn't like gays for a reason. That's what Amanda thought. She just couldn't believe that someone would not accept other people just because they were different. Everyone talked that it was wrong, unnatural and even the church told them that it was a sin, so that's what Amanda believed too. But on the other hand, she hasn't thought about it before, because she's never needed to.

Three simple words opened her eyes. Two boys move in together, talk about settling down and behave so differently. It was too obvious. How could she not see it before? Kurt and Blaine were gay. There weren't any girlfriends. They were a couple. Firstly, she felt angry for being so stupid and not seeing that, but that feeling disappeared quickly. Now she felt confused and scared. She spent the whole day cleaning and thinking about them. She wasn't sure how she should feel about it.

Deep deep inside Amanda knew that she couldn't look at them the same as she looked before. They were gay, they were sinners, they were wrong. That's what she heard all her life. But Kurt and Blaine didn't look like any of those things. Their home was as cozy and nice as everyone else in this street. They went to schools, collages and now were going to work as well as other people do. They were driving cars, drinking tea, cooking dinners, meeting friends, dealing with problems… They were normal young men starting a new life together.

Amanda couldn't believe that hearing them telling 'I love you' to each other confused her head so much. Those words sounded like it was true, like they really felt that way. It didn't sound somehow unnatural. Amanda can't help, but wonder how many times a day they were telling it to each other or hugging, or kissing, or… She didn't know what more they were able to do, but the boys were young and in love, so it must be something. She felt scared, because she didn't know how everything works among two men, but realization that it was happening in her neighborhood was too much.

So, Amanda did what she felt were right to do. She knew that she couldn't tell Tom or some of her other friends, because she didn't know how they would react. She needed to find the answers herself and she needed to know the truth. The woman really felt that being the head of the street council and the closet neighbor to Kurt and Blaine somehow gave her a right to know about their personal life as well as she knew about the others.

This time she didn't have to bake a cake and show up at their door or invite them for a coffee. The boys invited her themselves. Kurt went to her after a few days after that morning, when Amanda overheard their conversation and asked her to come and have a lunch with him, while Blaine was out. Amanda knew that it was her only chance. She admitted to herself that she kind of liked Kurt and believed that he will tell her the truth. She just had to be polite and diplomatic.

"I'm so happy you agreed to come. We were so rude the last time and I'm so sorry."

Kurt was talking with a small smile on his face and putting some sandwiches, small cakes and tea on the table in their living room. This time it was perfectly clean and tidy with those large windows open as much as when Amanda was here the last time. Just some sheet music was resting on the other table.

"It's ok, Kurt. I understand." She nodded. "A baby is a serious thing and I know how exciting it can be. I'm just surprised that you cared about him it a lot."

"Well…" Kurt said down at the table and took a sip from his cup. "Mercedes was my best friend since high school and we are still very close. I care about her a lot, so the birth of her first child was a miracle for me too."

"How old is she?" Amanda smiled. She knew that she shouldn't enjoy Kurt's company, but she can't do anything about it.

"She's the same age as me. I could maybe introduce you to each other, when she and Sam, her husband, came to visit us. But I guess it won't happen any time soon. Her labor was complicated, so she has to stay in a hospital."

"What a pity. Is she alright now?" Amanda asked.

"Yea, pretty much. She woke up from a coma yesterday. I had a rehearsal and couldn't be there, but we talked on the phone and she sounded alright. I would be more than alright if I had daughter too." He chuckled, but then Amanda spotted a look, which interested her. It was full of sadness.

"Do you want kids?" She smiled softly to Kurt. "I didn't, when I was your age."

"Well…" Kurt shivered in his seat. Amanda understood that it was not the most comfortable topic to Kurt and she wondered why. "I don't really know. I love kids, yes, and most of my friends already have one or two, but I guess… It's not a good time for it now."

Kurt took a large bite of sandwich without telling more. He was so mysterious that Amanda wanted to shout all the questions into his face, but managed to control herself. Sitting in silence she thought that now was a great moment to start a conversation about the point that she really wanted to know. She sighted a little and put down her cup.

"I think if you want kids, you should tell your girlfriend about it. Women love it!"

Then it was silence. Amanda looked to Kurt with the most innocent smile she's ever had. She couldn't give away that she knew the truth. His eyes were wide open and full of something that she couldn't understand, but thought that it wasn't good. Then something suddenly changed and he smiled widely again. Like he pushed some kind of a button and put on the mask, some different face.

"Oh, I don't have a girlfriend." Kurt said hiding his left hand under the table. "I'm single."

Now Amanda was confused. She honestly believed that Kurt would tell her that he was gay and in a relationship with Blaine, but it didn't happen, so she felt a little disappointed. 'Ok…' she thought to herself. 'What to play? Let's play.'

"I can't believe it." She acted surprised, but also spotted how Kurt did something with his hands under the table and slipped something in his pocket. "How can such an attractive man not to have a girlfriend? You must be really picky then."

"Well, I don't like one night stands and don't go to clubs or something. I think that I will just know when I find a right person. It's worth waiting. "

"I guess so." Even if it was a game Amanda knew that he had a point. "I love my husband since the first day we've met and I don't need anyone else. I hope one day you'll find someone too."

"I will." Finally. Amanda almost jumped in her seat. Kurt missed out, but quickly changed it. "Well, I think I will…"

After that they talked almost for an hour. Amanda didn't want to admit it, but she absolutely loved talking to Kurt. He was funny, friendly and they had lots of in common. Either of them loved Broadway musicals, old books and romantic films. He was very clever too and she realized that Kurt was more of an adult than a boy at his age should be. He must be through a lot in past.

But nothing else happened and Amanda didn't have a chance to ask him politely or try to get the information in other ways. It started irritate her, because it was obvious that Kurt avoided the topic about relationships. When almost everything was eaten and their conversation about the newest musical on Broadway was over, Kurt started uncovering the table. Something in his words got Amanda's attention again.

"Blaine is going to be home in an hour. It is his first day at work, you know… He was so nervous before, but I hope everything went alright. I think I should make him something to eat…"

"How did you and Blaine meet?" she asked casually.

"Oh, it's a funny story." Kurt smiled like before, like he forgot that the woman didn't know who he was. "We both were in glee clubs in high school. He was in my competition choir actually. Before the sectionals my friends send me to spy on his glee club. In short, I stopped him and asked a few things, but then he caught me spying. He and his friends were pretty civilized, so they kindly invited me for a coffer and that's how we became friends."

"It sounds really funny." Amanda smiled again. It was really adorable. "I'm surprised that you're still so close to move in together."

"Yes, we are." Kurt said slowly, like carefully and looked out of the window. The woman understood that he was hiding his eyes.

A few more second and Amanda lost it. She wasn't crated for lying and acting. She was a nice, polite and very confused woman right now, who wanted to get the truth.

"I know, Kurt. You don't have to lie and pretend anymore…" She whispered softly.

Kurt slowly turned his head to her and looked with those with blue eyes, which now were full of fear. The first time in her life Amanda felt that bad. She knew that it was Kurt, who was wrong and sinner, but in that moment she felt like one too. Kurt now looked much younger than before, much smaller.

"You know what?" he asked slowly.

"I know that you and Blaine are gay." It was the first time, when Amanda told it out load and it sounded even more frightening than before. "I know you are together. I just need you to be honest with me."

Kurt stayed silence. His fear was slowly going away and he looked more confused than anger or scared.

"Look, Kurt…" She bent over the table. "I know it is scary, but we can manage it together. I'm not blaming you or something." Kurt smiled. She thought that it was a good sing and added. "Although some people say that if you want, they can cure it…"

It was a mistake. Kurt's face changed quickly. Now he was angry. He stood up and pointed to the doors.

"I want you to leave, Amanda." He said coldly. "I want you to leave and never come back."

"Kurt, listen to me. I didn't want to offend you. I want to be you friend…" She stood up as well with eyes full of tears. "Please, let's just talk…"

"I don't need any of you crap, Amanda, so I'm kindly asking you to leave and stay away from me and my husband…"

What? Husband? Blaine and Kurt were… But Amanda didn't have time to think about it.

"Kurt, please. Hear me out…" Amanda started sobbing.

"Oh, for the sake of your kids get out already!"

"What's going on here?" A familiar voice asked and it made Amanda sob even more.