Oct. 6, 2012, 10:39 p.m.
Take these broken wings and learn to fly: Chapter 29
K - Words: 2,448 - Last Updated: Oct 06, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 33/33 - Created: Jun 13, 2012 - Updated: Oct 06, 2012 653 0 1 0 0
April flew by quite quickly for Kurt. It was filled with a lot of homework, long glee practices and some drama. He and Mercedes had helped Wade, a guy from the Vocal Adreline while Mercedes figured out her future and things with Sam. He and Rachel were prepared for their audition for NYADA, Blaine always by his side. Little things mattered a lot and Kurt and Blaine both spent their free time with their friends. Graduation wasn’t so far away, Kurt realized. He knew he’d soon have to say goodbye to Mercedes and Tina and to other people in New Directions. Even though he had decided to audition for NYADA, he was still unsure about his future and nervous about his and Blaine’s future.
Blaine was the one who really brought it up for the first time.
“You know, we should talk about New York,” he said randomly into the silence when they were at the music shop, looking for Whitney Huston’s sheet music.
It mentally hit Kurt into the face quite suddenly and he looked at his boyfriend with a frown.
“We can’t postpone this discussion for forever,” Blaine added then.
Kurt shrugged and looked back on the sheet music he was looking at.
“We can’t even be sure if I can get into NYADA. I don’t even know for sure if you want to go to New York.”
“Well I do, I’ve decided,” Blaine stated with full confidence. “And I don’t mean that we should discuss colleges. I mean we should agree on.. us. What does it mean for us, if we both go to New York.”
Kurt got more and more confused. “That means that we don’t have to break up..?” he asked carefully because that’s something that has been in his mind a lot. That’s when he realized what Blaine might have wondered about. He realized that they haven’t even talked about being in New York together.
“Yes, but uhm.. “ Blaine stuttered and looked down to the book he was holding like trying to find right words or courage to say something. “Would you like to.. live.. with me? Would you like us to live together?”
Kurt swallowed and looked at Blaine, who finally looked up to him again. A wide smile spread over his face and then over Blaine’s too.
“That would be wonderful,” he said and they both took a small step closer to each other to hug and share just a small, almost invisible kiss because there are people who could see and not approve.
..or there are people who are actually watching, Kurt noticed then over Blaine’s shoulder. They pulled away from each other and the boy who has been staring glanced back to his own sheet music. While Blaine returned to the books, Kurt studied the boy. There was something different about the boy: he was utterly similar to Kurt, or at least to the old Kurt who used to wore expensive outfits instead of simple dark jeans and shirts. It hits him like a struck by lightning that the boy is just as gay as he is. And that’s why the boy was watching him and Blaine so fondly, almost smiling. That’s why he didn’t look at them with disgust like most of the people.
Kurt wondered if he should go and talk with the boy, but in Blaine’s presence, it seemed like a bad idea. So he didn’t say hello to the boy but simply bought the sheet music and left the store with Blaine’s arm around his torso, pulling him closer.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice that,” Blaine hissed teasingly. “That guy totally checked you out.”
“You’re being ridiculous,” Kurt laughed.
“I’m not, but it’s okay because few months from now, we will live together.”
“I love you.”
“I know, I love you too.”
The statement that Kurt was nervous about the audition was underestimated. He spent long hours in the auditorium, always trying different songs. There was always Rachel or Blaine or even Mercedes or Tina there to say their opinion. That’s when Kurt felt most loved: they all cared about him.
Mercedes has always been one of his closest friends and even though they never became just as close again as they used to be after the summer, she was still there.
Same thing was with Tina. Their friendship started when they were so different from each other: while he loved Marc Jackobs and everything from the fashion world, she was all about the dark and gothy kind of things, but despite that, she’d always been one of the closest friends from the start. She was always there, even after Kurt had pushed everyone away and she was always really caring. And now she had agreed on singing back for him on the audition and helped him with dancing.
Even though Kurt and Rachel had been kind of enemies for a long time, she was the closest friend he had now. She was his best friend. If anybody would have told Kurt in his sophomore year, that he and Rachel will be best friends in the end of their senior year, he probably would’ve laughed out loud.
And then, of course, there was Blaine. Blaine, who assured every single day that he loves him and wanted to live with him in New York. Blaine, his handsome, perfect and understanding boyfriend, who saved Kurt from this whole he was in before they met. And the thought of them living together.. was fabulous, perfect, a dream.
But as perfect as the dream wasn’t, Kurt had to admit, he was still a little skeptical when it came to dreams. It still felt surreal that someone like Blaine could love someone like Kurt: a wreck and worn off guy who needs to be saved all the time.
And what the New York thing mean anyway? That they could just live together happily even after? Could love, even high school love, last forever?
Kurt found himself wondering about that question far too many times..
Even though Kurt changed the song just before the start, the audition went by wonderfully. He loved performing, that’s where he belongs and he knew it. Although he still wasn’t glowing so much in his everyday life, he could still glow on stage.
What happened with Rachel audition was still confusing for Kurt. It simply didn’t make any sense.
“I know that we are all shocked about Rachel’s audition, but I’m still going to say this,” Blaine said when they drove over to Kurt’s house later that day. “You were amazing. You are amazing and I know for sure that this is where you belong. This has to be your future, Kurt.”
Kurt listened carefully and smiled then. “I know,” he confessed with a sigh. “I felt that too, on the stage.”
“I’m glad.”
They drove in silence for a few minutes when Kurt decided to speak up again.
“What about you?” he asked. “Where do you belong?”
Blaine’s fingers tightened around the wheel. “What do you mean?”
“Are you sure you belong to New York? I mean, you’re not going there just because of me, aren’t you?”
Blaine pressed his lips together and glanced over to him. That scared Kurt. Are you even sure you want to come to New York with me? Is it worth it when love maybe can’t last forever? Million other questions went through his head but he didn’t dare to ask any of them.
“I like acting,” Blaine uttered. “I can’t explain it, I just feel like I have to go for it, but.. uhm.. I don’t know where I belong.”
Kurt relaxed a bit. It didn’t took him long to get Blaine’s situation.
“Or maybe you’re just afraid of going for it because of your brother,” he suddenly said then. Yes, that made perfect sense. “Have you even told Cooper that you want to audition for that Actors Studio?”
“No, he wouldn’t approve it. That’s why he’s in LA and never went to college.”
Kurt laughed, Blaine was probably right.
“Well, I believe that maybe, acting is where you belong, but just not in the same way as Cooper,” he mumbled when Blaine pulled on the driveway. Blaine stilled and smiled after a while and just when Kurt was about to ask, if everything is okay, Blaine pulled him into a hug.
“God, I struggle around this question for weeks and you can figure out it with seconds. I don’t know what I would do without you,” he said with a thankful tone into Kurt’s ear.
“I’m pretty sure that’s my line,” Kurt answered and they both laughed again.
It was a shocking and confusing day, but they still got this: simple moments with each other when they could understand each other more than they understood themselves.
Can love last forever?
“I can’t remember if I ever told you about my prom last year..” Kurt mumbled after an eventful evening of prom.
Blaine dared his eyes away from the small mirror he was holding. He had been staring at it for the last few minutes. His soft curls touched Kurt’s skin as they were laying next to each other on Blaine’s bed. It felt a little unusual because there had been a while since he saw Blaine like this: without any hair gel in his curls.
“I don’t think you did,” he said as shifted himself onto his stomach and held his upper body up with his hands to look into Kurt’s eyes. “But Mercedes did.”
“She.. what?!“ Kurt exhaled. “She had no right to!”
“Kurt, it was a long time ago, in the summer. Don’t worry about it.”
Kurt didn’t want to let it go, because he felt like he should be the one to tell this stuff to Blaine, but he was tired. He was tired and he was in Blaine’s bed and Blaine’s parents weren’t even home and his dad had asked himself if Kurt would like to spend the night after prom with Blaine. It was a wonderful idea, Kurt had decided because who knows, when things would change between him and Blaine. Who knows when he won’t get to feel Blaine’s curls against his skin again..
Suddenly he wasn’t so tired after all and leaned down to kiss Blaine, deeply and surely.
After some drama but the win of Nationals, it was the last chance to say goodbye. When Blaine was on his audition with Finn, Kurt took a trip to the music store to find a song to sing for the glee club for goodbye.
As soon as he took a step into the store, he noticed him again: the blonde, kind of cute boy flipping through some books. Kurt found him interesting, wishing he could talk with him. Yes, he loved Blaine, but something, some kind of weird feeling made him want talk to that boy. He didn’t want a new boyfriend, no. He just felt like he needed to know some other gay person, who wasn’t his boyfriend or Sebastian or Karofsky. A friend maybe, Kurt wasn’t sure.
Can love last forever?
The boy glanced over to him and smiled lightly, Kurt smiled back. But then he realized that he shouldn’t be afraid of talking with him: after all, Kurt didn’t look for a date and it was allowed to make new.. friends.. right?
“Hey,” Kurt said as he took a step closer to the boy. The boy’s eyebrows rose as the surprise spread all over his face.
“Hey,” the boy said back.
“I’m Kurt Hummel.”
“Chandler.”
They shook hands and smiled.
“I noticed you,” Kurt uttered. “The last time I was here with my.. with Blaine.” Kurt scared himself in that moment. For some reason, he couldn’t say ‘boyfriend’ instead of Blaine. “You were.. uhm.. kind of drooling.”
The boy, Chandler, blushed.
“Sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to be creepy.. You two just make a lovely couple..”
Something clenched in Kurt’s heart to that. He didn’t really want to talk or think about Blaine even though Chander’s comment was cute
“So uhm.. what are you looking for?” Kurt inquired then and nodded to the songbook that Chandler was holding, ignoring the guilt that flooded him over.
“Actually the same thing that I looked the last time.. but I don’t need it anymore,” Chandler answered.
“Then.. why are you still here?” Kurt’s confused.
“To be perfectly honest..” A blush creeps around Chandler’s neck even more. “I just hoped to see you around here again.”
“Oh.” Oh. It felt awkward and Kurt turned away a little with a smile. He had to remindhimself that he wasn’t doing anything wrong. If anything, then maybe Chandler had crossed the line a bit, but where was that line anyway? “What did you needed it for then?” Kurt asked, trying to make the awkwardness in the situation fade.
“Uhm.. well I looked something for my audition for NYU.”
“Oh, really, New York?”
“Yeah.. It’s still kind of strange to think that in a few months I will leave this town for the big apple. I mean, it hasn’t been easy around here, but I’ll miss my family and friends.”
“Tell me about it,” Kurt sighed. That’s when he remembered why he came here at the first place. “I’m trying to get away too.. I auditioned for NYADA, I should get my acceptance letter in a few days I think.”
“Oh, yeah, I heard you two talking about it..” Another rock hit Kurt’s heart when Chandler kind of mentioned Blaine. “Oh, well good luck with that..”
“Thank you.”
They fell into the silence again until Chandler busted out a question with a very enthusiastic tone:
“Could I get your phone number?”
Kurt froze, his heart probably skipped a beat. He turned to look at the boy: he was smiling, more brightly and he seemed to feel comfortable with the energy that now surrounded him.
“I know you have a boyfriend, just.. we newyorkers should keep together, you know?”
Kurt hesitated before answering.
“Sure.”
Comments
I hope Chandler doesn't mean trouble. Though probably not with how little of the story is left :D