They drove to Blaine’s house separately, just like they had arrived to the musical earlier that day. Blaine wasn’t sure why he felt nervous. Maybe it was because Kurt had just suggested a quiet night and that confused Blaine a little.

Blaine wanted to ask if Kurt was planning to stay the night. He wanted to know why Kurt had suggested this arrangement at the first place but he didn’t ask. Blaine didn’t have the nerve to ask yet and that actually made him even more nervous.

Blaine waited until Kurt parked his car, then opened the door for him. Kurt simply smiled and let Blaine to lock their hands together once he was out of the car.

“You want something to eat.. or drink?” Blaine asked because he almost always asked that when they arrived to his house.

Kurt shook his head and that’s when Blaine noticed that he wasn’t the only one who was nervous for some reason. But Kurt wasn’t just nervous, he looked more like someone who could have a panic attack.

“Hey, you okay?” Blaine worried and step closer to him. He took his face between his two hands to look straightly into the blue eyes. Kurt closed those eyes for a second, looking a little shaky now and took a deep breath before he smiled again.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered. “Could we just.. lie down or something?”

Blaine hesitated for a second, but agreed anyway. “Yeah, sure. I’m going to get a class of water for myself. Meet you upstairs?”

Kurt nodded quite blankly and turned to walk upstairs while Blaine stepped into the kitchen. He poured some water into the class and took a few sips.

Something was weird, different between them. He wondered if it was because of him: because of his behavior or because of Sebastian. Blaine felt guilty for not noticing the problem before and he couldn’t stop beating himself up for what he had done to Kurt.

Kurt had already lied down to bed when Blaine got there. Blaine could’ve sworn that he saw a tear coming out of his boyfriend’s eye but he wiped it away as soon as he noticed Blaine’s presence.

“Are you sure you’re fine?” Blaine questioned again, really carefully this time and removed his vest and shirt before crawling into the bed next to Kurt, feeling much more comfortable with just an undershirt.

“Yeah, I’m just.. getting over a shock,” Kurt said when Blaine lied down. “You know, since I was prepared for the worst..

“Kurt,” Blaine sighed and curled his hand around other boy’s waist to pull him closer. “I don’t.. know how to say how sorry I am, I di-didn’t mean to..”

“I know you didn’t,” Kurt interrupted. “I know, it was just me and insecurity, so don’t worry.”

Blaine nodded but he certainly couldn’t stop worrying.

“I love you, I just want you to know that.”

“Love you too,” Kurt smiled and leaned closer. Blaine quickly closed the gap between them for a sweet and simple kiss.

They stayed like that for a while: faces really close but not really connected, something like eskimo kiss. Blaine took Kurt’s wrist to hold and their knees touched lightly.

“Your eyes are so beautiful,” Blaine breathed suddenly really quietly before he could even control his own words. There was no way that Kurt didn’t hear that: they were too close for that.

Kurt smiled brightly again since his previous smile had died down and blushed. Blaine thought that he could stay there for forever. He could just lie there with his boyfriend on his bed while Kurt smiles and just watch him. They were both relaxed, without any kind of tension in the air.

“Blaine?” Kurt mumbled little later into the silence.

“Hm?”

“Would you kiss me again?”

Kurt’s request surprised Blaine but he was more than happy to obligate. They kissed again, a little longer this time but just as lightly as before because of the position until Kurt leaned closer with the rest of his body and deepened the kiss. Blaine could feel this different kind of desire from Kurt’s body when the boy stood a little and crawled over Blaine. It was unusual for Kurt to be on the top and when Kurt grew more eager Blaine started to lose control. The kisses were messier and sloppier and they barely broke for air.

“Kurt,” Blaine whined then, trying to pull away but it wasn’t so easy. “Kurt, we need to stop.”

Kurt froze and stopped but stayed close. Blaine thought that he noticed some kind of hurt in Kurt’s eyes.

“Wha-what if I said that we don’t?” Kurt stuttered then. “What if I said that I would be fine if we didn’t stop?”

Now was Blaine the one who didn’t know how to move. Kurt’s words echoed in his ears.

Did Kurt just..  Had Kurt just said that? Did Kurt requested.. sex? Because as sudden as it sounded, that’s what it was. Kurt had just said that he was ready for more. And the fact that Blaine was ready as well and Kurt knew it was a little scary.

“Look,” Kurt said when Blaine didn’t react. “I’m not saying that we should start.. doing stuff right away, I’m just saying that if you want we can at least.. discuss it.”

Blaine stood to sit. Kurt tried to shift himself to get off of him but Blaine pulled him back so he stayed on Blaine’s lap.

“Kurt are you-“

“Yes I’m sure. If you don’t want to go there yet then just say so, I understand.”

“No, that’s not it,” Blaine gulped feeling his heart racing once again. He could barely make himself to watch directly into Kurt’s eyes. “I just.. I’m just really confused, I mean I thought you needed time or something..”

“Yeah, I got that,” Kurt said and put his arms on Blaine’s shoulders. “I’ve been thinking about it.. for a while and er.. when my dad gave me the talk,” Blaine felt his muscles sizing up to that. “He mostly just wanted to say that I’d used sex for connecting with somebody and at the time it didn’t make much sense, but now..”

Blaine gazed Kurt’s eyes for a long time, trying to address Kurt’s words. Kurt didn’t move or try to say anything and let the silence sink in so that Blaine could slowly ponder the situation. He snuggled against Blaine’s neck and they fell back on the pillows for much more comfortable position.

“This is really sudden,” Blaine stated then as he stroked Kurt’s arm and turned to look into his blue eyes.

“I know,” Kurt answered. “We don’t have to do anything, we have all the time in the world.”

“I really want to though,” Blaine admitted. This confession affected them both: Blaine was surprised to find courage to say it and something like realization flicked in Kurt’s eyes when his pupils widened.

“Me too,” Kurt smiled and Blaine took a moment to look at that. He didn’t even realize when Kurt had shifted closer again until his lips were on Blaine’s and that was all that mattered.

It didn’t take long before the kiss turned into desperate mess. It was hard to tell who was on top of who because of the rolling and giggling and questions like: “Are we really going to do this?” “And what do you want?”. The answers game without any doubt: “Yes,” and “I want everything.”

They kissed like that for a while, messily and worthlessly, not even trying to stop it until Kurt pulled away with a suggestion to breath.

Right, breath. Blaine reminded himself that it was something they both needed to do for sake of living. They fell back on the pillows and breathed until Blaine turned again to Kurt and stroke his hair. It felt nice to let his hands through Kurt’s soft hair because that was something he almost always did when they both were lying down.

“Are you sure?” Blaine asked again panting, just in case.

Kurt nodded shyly. “Are you?”

“Yeah,” Blaine replied. “Yes I’m sure.”

They let their lips touch again and deepened the kiss instantly. It was still eager but it wasn’t messy, they weren’t in hurry this time. They had all the time in the world.

“Kurt,” Blaine whispered and pulled away one last time.

“Mh?” Kurt mumbled and tried to protest. “I swear to god, if you ask me one more time if I’m re-“

“I love you.”

Kurt stilled with a silence and smiled, looking directly into Blaine’s eyes. “I love you too.”

Blaine pulled Kurt back to a kiss as they stood on their knees. They kept on with kissing while their slow movements and shy hands slipped beyond the lines that they had created with last month.

Before falling asleep later that night, Blaine let himself to look at the beauty of the boy in his arms.

Something was really okay. Like really okay and nice and comfortable and warm. Slowly opening his eyes, Blaine realized that he wasn’t alone in the bed. He was so not alone.

There was Kurt, curled right next to him, both of them without any layers. That scared Blaine for a second but he calmed as he started to remember the previous night. He sighed happily at the memory and tried to get even closer to Kurt who was still very much asleep.

Kurt didn’t wake up until the next half an hour. His eyelashes flickered when he opened his eyes. Blaine moved away a little, preparing himself for some kind of Kurt’s panic attack what never came. Instead of that Kurt shifted up and smiled.

“Morning,” Blaine simply said.

“Thank god,” Kurt groaned lightly.

“What?”

“I wasn’t dreaming.”

Blaine laughed a little when Kurt kissed Blaine’s left cheek. Blaine wondered for a second what Kurt exactly meant with that but it didn’t really matter because soon enough their lips were connected again as they both reminded to each other the previous night.