It was a week before Kurt’s junior year started, when he enjoyed the Saturday with Mercedes at the mall. He hadn’t bought new clothes for himself for a long time, so it felt good to be back. Slowly Kurt realized how happy and relaxed he could feel around Mercedes, without any pressure. Of course he felt great around Blaine too, but this felt different. Kurt had really missed his friendship with Mercedes. He loved the mall also, but since he was closed to people for months, he hadn’t come here.

„Aren’t you excited about this year?“ Mercedes asked him, when they sat down to eat some lunch.

That’s when Kurt realized, that even though he wasn’t really depressed anymore, there still wasn’t anything to look forward to, when it came to his junior year. He had no idea what to do with his future after high school, what colleges to apply for. He was still just as gay as always, so he probably will still be bullied. And.. now he realized that he probably won’t see Blaine every day.

„Yeah, I know,“ Mercedes signed to Kurt’s silence, when he couldn’t find an answer. „I mean, this year will be cool now, when I have Shane, but what will happen next. I mean, I have no plans for college and even if I had, what would happen with me and Shane?“

This is what Kurt hadn’t even thought about. What will happen with him and Blaine, when they’ll decide to move too far away from each other after high school ? Kurt was aware of the fact, that he was probably naive, because he knew, that there was quite big possibility for them to break up. Kurt had seen, how these relationships are complicated and he had witnessed too many break up’s in Glee club. So that made him worry even more.

„Kurt, are you okay?“ Mercedes questioned suddenly, when he tried to find Kurt’s gaze. „You look pale.“

„Oh, yeah, I’m okay,“ Kurt answered, although he knew that Mercedes knew, that it was a lie.

„You’re thinking about Blaine, don’t you?“

Kurt looked up to the girl and smiled. He liked how Mercedes knew him so well, that she could almost read his mind. Or maybe he was just too obvious.

„It’s just that.. Blaine was the one who basically brought me back to life over these two months. I can’t imagine what happens when he disappears.“

Mercedes understood, he could tell.

„Look, Kurt I know that you guys have been dating like only.. three weeks for now, but I can tell that you mean a lot to him and I can assure you that he won’t disappear, even though he doesn’t go to the same school..“

„No, it’s not just that,“ Kurt interrupted with kind of shaky voice. „If I’ve ever learned anything about relationships, than I’ve learned, that in high school, they don’t last for long. And I think that when we are apart, there’s just a bigger chance for things to go wrong..“

Mercedes just nodded, trying to say something, but wasn’t sure what.

„You okay?“ Blaine’s voice came so suddenly, it almost made Kurt jump, although in reality it wasn’t really possible, since they sat on Kurt’s sofa again, curled up to each other. Everything was just so quiet before that question: Finn was in his room and Burt and Carole were out, so the only thing they could really hear was each other’s breathing and the tv, what nether on them probably wasn’t even watching again. „You’re really quiet today.“

„Oh, yes, I’m okay,“ Kurt answered with not so convincing tone.

“You sure?” Blaine asked more. “What are you thinking about?”

Kurt bit his lip, but decided that Blaine should need to hear the truth.

“Us,” he said and pulled away from him, straitening up a little, so they weren’t it their comfort positions anymore. Blaine did that too, a little scared look on his face. “The school starts in a week.”

Blaine’s expression changed and he signed heavily, like hadn’t breathed for a while. “God, I thought you want to break up.”

“That’s ridiculous, “ Kurt stated. “I don’t want to break up, but I’m afraid of a break up.”

Blaine frowned. “I don’t follow you.”

“I’m afraid that when the school rolls around and we won’t be able to be together this often we will.. break up.”

“Okay, why the hell are you repeating the phrase ‘break up’?” Blaine gobbled with a panic. “Why do you think we break up?!”

“Because  we’re in high school, where relationships don’t work out so easily and let’s be realistic: we will break up eventually,” Kurt said, before he could even think about his words.

Blaine’s eyes looked directly into Kurt’s, filled with confusion and shock.

“Well, it’s good to know, how much fate you have in us,” Blaine mumbled, when he could finally say something and stood up.

“No, wait, that’s not what I meant..” Kurt tried to say and stood up too, but Blaine was already half way out the door.  “Blaine, please stop.”

Blaine almost ran to his car, Kurt following him, but before he sat in, he stopped and around: “If you don’t want this, than we can end this now,” he said. “That way no one can get hurt.”

Kurt watched as Blaine drove away. That wasn’t truth, he thought. Kurt did felt hurt and dead inside, when he walked back inside and for a second he wondered, if that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Kurt didn’t sleep that night, of course. He laid on his, holding a phone and waited, as the sun rose. He hadn’t sent a single text to Blaine because he wasn’t sure if he could. Were they broken up now? Was this final? What did it meant? To be honest, Kurt knew nothing about relationships, he understood that now. He just wasn’t sure, if he should try fixing. Maybe it was meant to be something short. He held the phone almost all night, fighting with himself, starting so many texts, but never really sending them.

It was six am in Sunday morning and Kurt decided that he can’t lay there anymore. He needed to walk, a fresh air, so he pulled on some random jeans, t-shirt and a jacked, since it was probably quite chilly outside. He sneaked quietly through the house and as soon as he walked outside, a cool air touched his cheeks. He had just started walking, when he saw it: Blaine’s car standing by the street, not so far away from the house.

Kurt’s heart raced immediately and he slowly walked over. Blaine was in, his head leaning on the class, eyes closed and hands wrapped around himself, looking adorable but freezing. It wasn’t the warmest morning.

Kurt had to find some courage, before he could knock on the class. Blaine reacted instantly, eyes flung open and straightening himself, before he noticed Kurt. He looked up to Kurt’s eyes, mumbling something, that looked like “Kurt” and opening the door then.

“Blaine,” Kurt breathed. It wasn’t easy to manage some voice. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Blaine answered when he was out of the car, standing in front of Kurt.  “I came to see you, but it was too early..”

“How long have you been here?”

Blaine didn’t answer right away. He bit his lip and pulled his phone out, checking the time. “About an hour or so.. Wait, why are you out so early.”

Kurt shrugged, looking away for a moment. “Couldn’t sleep either.”

Blaine nodded, showing he understood, but not so comfortably. Silence followed, they were staring, saying nothing, because neither of them wasn’t sure, where they were standing.

“I need to know,” Blaine said then, with a little louder voice. “Do you want to break up?”

Kurt swallowed. He really didn’t like that phrase, it just made him more and more comfortable, as he had been thinking about it so much with those past twenty four hours.

“No,” he replied and with that, Blaine took him into cold but so warm embrace. Kurt pulled them even closer to each other and rested his chin on Blaine’s shoulder.

“Good,” Blaine whispered and didn’t let go. They stayed like that for a long time.

“I’m so sorry,” Kurt almost cried then, few tears running down his cheek. “I’m just so afraid to be alone again and I didn’t even know what to do.”

“Shh.” Blaine shushed and pulled away to wipe the tears away. “It’s okay. I get that and I overreacted.”

Kurt smiled lightly, as they were silent again.

“Your hands are cold,” Kurt said a few seconds later.

“Ah, sorry.”

“You should come inside.”

Blaine looked dubious, before responding. “Sure.”

They walked to the house, Blaine cold hand linked with Kurt’s, as he was looking for warmness. Kurt didn’t really mind. Quietly they sneaked to Kurt’s room and crawled into Kurt’s bed. Kurt pulled the blanked over them and Blaine snuggled closer. Kurt thought that Blaine had already fallen asleep, when he suddenly spoke quietly.

“You’re still afraid aren’t you?”

Kurt signed. “I can’t help it, I’m afraid of rejection. You’re the only reason, why I feel almost normal again and I don’t want to go back there.”

Blaine shifted, so they could look directly into each other’s eyes again. It was a safe place, where they could find the truth.

“I’m not saying that it won’t be.. tricky, but we’ll figure it out, I promise.”

“It’s not that easy, you know..”

“I know, but I already have an idea,” Blaine assured.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll tell you about it in a few days, when I know better.”

“Hmm, okay.”

Kurt wanted to know more about that idea, but he was too tired to ask now, so he just closed his eyes as they both fell asleep in each other’s embraces.