Aug. 10, 2015, 7 p.m.
The Land of Stories: Gleeful Days Are Here Again: The Wand of Wonderment
T - Words: 1,488 - Last Updated: Aug 10, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 22/? - Created: Jun 18, 2015 - Updated: Jun 18, 2015 233 0 0 0 0
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“You!” Rachel cried, glaring at Kurt Hummelocks. “What are you doing in my kingdom? What are you doing in my castle? What are you doing in my library?!?”
“Good afternoon, Red,” Blaine greeted her, charming as ever. “Kurt and I were in the neighborhood, and thought we'd stop by for a visit.”
“How did you get in here? Where are my guards?!?”
“They're the ones who let us in,” Blaine replied, unfazed by Rachel's dramatics. “I grew up with most of them, remember? And we all parted as friends, so I thought you'd be glad to see us.”
“Yes, well, apparently you thought wrong.”
Kurt gave Red his best bitch glare. “Do you have a problem with us, Grandma's girl? I thought after helping me escape, you had changed, but I guess not.”
“Well, I thought that helping you would make me feel better, so I suppose we were both mistaken.”
Froggy cleared his throat. “Let's keep our eyes on the big picture, here. We've got to find a way to defeat the Enchantress. I'm sorry, but we just don't have time for petty quarrels.”
Rachel looked shocked that he'd dared to speak to her that way, but she held her tongue.
Froggy turned to Kurt and Blaine. “Chris might have a plan. If you'd like to help, you're welcome to stay.”
“Of course we want to help,” Blaine said quickly. “This curse is as hard on us as it is on anyone,” he added, casting a longing glance at Kurt's lips.
Kurt nodded vehemently. “Count us in. If the Enchantress comes within range of my sai swords, I'm ready to show her exactly how I feel about not being able to kiss my boyfriend!”
Chris stepped forward. “I appreciate your spirit, but I don't think that violence is going to solve our problem.”
“Maybe we should go with the motto ‘Make Love, Not War,'” Darren suggested. “We could just kiss the Enchantress, and put her to sleep. After all, we know that it's safe to be the one who does the kissing, so long as you don't get kissed back, since Quinderella didn't fall asleep when she kissed Princess Beth on the forehead.”
“I wish it could be that simple,” Chris answered. “But the Enchantress must be immune to her own curse. Remember when Mother Goose was telling us about how she put the Fairy Godfather to sleep? She demonstrated by kissing Zach right on the lips. So having his lips touch her obviously had no effect.”
“Well, if we can't kill her, and we can't kiss her, what can we do?” Rachel asked irritably.
“The Enchantress has cast an evil spell over the world, and I think only magic will be able to reverse it,” Chris predicted.
“You mentioned a book,” Froggy reminded him. “Will it give us the counter-curse?”
“Well, I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for,” Chris admitted, “but I think I'll know it when I see it.”
While Rachel stood huffing in the corner, Froggy, Darren, Kurt, and Blaine began searching the shelves for potentially helpful books. Chris glanced at and rejected a dozen titles before Darren handed him a volume that seemed promising.
“Myths, Legends, and Collecting Spells,” Chris read. “There might be something in here that we can use.”
Chris sat down on the sofa and opened the book. Darren plopped down next to him, and Kurt and Blaine squeezed in on his other side. Froggy and Rachel stood behind the sofa to peer over his shoulder.
Glancing at the table of contents, Darren pointed excitedly. “Look - there's the Wishing Spell! We know that one worked, so I'll bet the rest of the spells in here will work, too. We just need to pick the one that will undo this curse.”
Chris scanned down through the list of chapters until he spotted one that he'd planned on writing about in his sequel. “Here - let's see what it says about the Wand of Wonderment.”
Chris flipped to the correct page and began reading aloud. “The Wand of Wonderment can be created by combining the six most prized possessions of the six most feared and hated people of the past hundred years. Once the wand is complete, whoever wields it will become invincible.”
“Invincible!” Kurt said enthusiastically. “I like the sound of that!”
“If you're not invincible already, you could've fooled me,” Blaine told him admiringly.
A blush spread over Kurt's cheeks, but he looked pleased. “You conquered my heart a long time ago,” he murmured to Blaine. “And I'm tempted to let you slay me with a kiss right now.”
Rachel let out a disgusted snort. “Can we please stay focused here? There has never been a less appropriate time for public displays of affection.”
Froggy laid a soothing hand on her shoulder. “Let's make a list of the six most feared and hated people, and then we can try to figure out their most prized possessions.”
“I'll bet the giant who lived in the castle at the top of my beanstalk was one,” Blaine suggested with a shudder.
“I think you're right,” Froggy agreed, writing it down in a leather-bound journal.
“The Evil Queen should go on that list,” Kurt said. “Even if she did win a place in my heart when she confirmed that you really are my true love,” he added quietly to Blaine.
Rachel made a gagging noise.
“What about the Sea Witch, who gave the saber from the deepest sea to the Little Cheermaid?” Darren asked. “She's pretty scary, right?”
“Oh, definitely,” Froggy said, adding the Evil Queen and the Sea Witch to his list.
“I'd vote for Quinderella's Wicked Stepmother,” Rachel said. “The whole Charming Kingdom still hates her, and she's pretty infamous in the rest of the world, too.”
Froggy wrote down ‘Wicked Stepmother' and then added ‘Snow Queen.' “Even though she's been banished to the mountains, the Snow Queen who used to rule the Northern Kingdom still sends terrible storms that can sometimes be felt across the land. I'm adding her name, so we only need to come up with one more.”
Everyone sat silently for a moment, thinking.
Finally Chris spoke. “I hate to be the one to bring it up, but the final name seems pretty obvious. It's gotta be the Enchantress, right?”
Everyone groaned.
“How are we supposed to defeat the Enchantress with a wand that we can only make if we've already defeated her?” Rachel demanded in exasperation.
“We don't necessarily need to defeat her in order to get her most prized possession. We may be able to acquire it through stealth, or trickery,” Darren reasoned.
“Whatever it takes,” Kurt said. “Count me in.”
Blaine squeezed his hand. “Me too.”
“You know I'm on board,” Froggy said. Then, turning to Rachel, he asked, “What about you, Red? Are you willing to help?”
She sighed. “I don't know if this is going to work.”
“Well, we'll never know if we don't try,” Chris pointed out. “And working together, we'll have a much better chance than any of us would on our own.”
Froggy wrapped an arm around Rachel's shoulder and began to sing:
Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's
Always tomorrow
Darren jumped up and slung his arm over Rachel's other shoulder, joining in the song.
Lean on me!
When youre not strong
Ill be your friend
Ill help you carry on
For it wont be long
Til Im gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Kurt surprised everyone by turning to Rachel and singing the next verse.
Please!
Swallow your pride
If I have things
You need to borrow
For no one can fill
Those of your needs
That you wont let show
Blaine rose from the sofa, pulling Kurt into an impromptu dance as he sang the next part.
So just call on me brother
When you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on!
I just might have a problem
That youll understand
We all need somebody to lean on!
Letting go of Rachel, Darren grabbed Chris by the hand and swung him into the dance. Laughing, Chris joined in the singing.
Lean on me!
When youre not strong
Ill be your friend
Ill help you carry on
For it wont be long
Til Im gonna need
Somebody to lean on
No one — not even a mash-up of Queen Red Riding Hood and Rachel Berry — could possibly resist the energy in the room. She put aside her conflicted feelings and began to sing along.
You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that youll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Froggy beamed at her, singing:
If there is a load
You have to bear
That you cant carry
Im right up the road
Ill share your load
If you just call me
The six unlikely allies threw their bodies into dancing and their voices into singing the rest of the song together.
Call me (If you need a friend)
Call me (Call me, uh-huh)
Call me (When you need a friend)
Call me (If you ever need a friend)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (If you need a friend)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me…