The sun was nearly setting by the time Chris, Darren, Kurt, and Blaine returned to the flying ship, triumphantly bearing the Snow Queen's scepter. 

Rachel came out to greet them excitedly.  “You'll never guess what I did today!”

Kurt raised an eyebrow. “We'll never guess what you did today?” he repeated sarcastically.  “Did you narrowly avoid death in order to secure one of the items we need for the Wand of Wonderment?  ‘Cause that's what we did today.” 

“Oh, that's nice,” Rachel said, glancing briefly at the scepter.  “But look — I found a puppy!”

She opened the front of her coat to reveal a tiny ball of fur nestled against her chest.  “I went for a little walk, and there he was, all alone in the snow.  His mother must have abandoned him.  Isn't he precious?”  

Chris couldn't stop the “Awwww…” that burst out of him.

Darren rushed forward.  “Oh, he's adorable!  Can I hold him?”

Somewhat reluctantly, Rachel handed over the puppy, who immediately licked Darren's face.

“I've named him Rory, after a Leprechaun I read about in a storybook.  But I'm going to spell it with an ‘A' — like roar.  Roary.  Isn't that clever?”

Kurt rolled his eyes.  “Puppies don't roar.”

Rachel adopted a condescending tone.  “It's a play on words, Kurt, but I wouldn't expect you to get it.  You see, those of us who went to school — instead of spending our childhoods breaking into houses and running from the law — learned about something called homophones.”  

Kurt had finally had enough.  Stepping right into Rachel's personal space, he began to sing:

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath

Scared to rock the boat and make a mess

So I sat quietly, agreed politely

I guess that I forgot I had a choice

I let you push me past the breaking point

I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up

Already brushing off the dust

You hear my voice, you hear that sound

Like thunder gonna shake the ground

You held me down, but I got up

Get ready cause I've had enough

I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Now I'm floating like a butterfly

Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes

I went from zero, to my own hero

You held me down, but I got up

Already brushing off the dust

You hear my voice, you hear that sound

Like thunder gonna shake the ground

You held me down, but I got up

Get ready 'cause I've had enough

I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

‘Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

‘Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Youll hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Youre gonna hear me roar...

Ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

‘Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

‘Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Youll hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Youre gonna hear me roar...

Rachel seemed to miss the point of the song entirely.  “Don't be silly,” she said.  “Of course Roary's not a lion or a tiger.  I mean, he doesn't have a mane or stripes, does he?  That's why I referred to him as a puppy, rather than a cub.”  

“Actually,” Darren said, “I think Roary is a cub.”

“That's ridiculous.  I already pointed out that he's not a baby lion or a baby tiger.  And he's certainly not a baby bear, either.  So what kind of cub could he possibly be?”

Darren held him up for everyone to see.  “Well, just look at him.  He's obviously a wolf cub.”

“Of course he's not a wolf!” Rachel huffed.  “I — of all people — should know what a wolf looks like.  What big eyes they have, what big ears they have, what big teeth they have…  Look at that cute little face.  He can't possibly be a wolf.”

“His eyes and ears and teeth may be little now, since he's only a few weeks old.  But picture what he's going to look like when he grows up.”

Rachel peered more closely at the pup.  “Oh my.  Oh my.  Oh my!” she cried, leaping back.  “Wolf!”

Startled by Rachel's shrieking, Roary began to whimper.  

“Here, let me have him,” Chris said, holding out his arms.

Darren handed the wolf cub to Chris, who cuddled him close.  “There, there,” he soothed.  “It's okay.  She's loud, but she's harmless.”

“I'll tell you what's not harmless!” Rachel screamed.  “That bloodthirsty beast!  Get it off of my ship this instant!”

“He's just a baby,” Froggy said.  “He'd never survive in this wilderness by himself.  We can't just abandon him.”  

He tried to put an arm around Rachel, but she shrugged him off.  “How can you take his side?!?” she demanded, incensed.

“No one's taking sides, Red,” Blaine said placatingly.  “You did a noble thing by rescuing this little guy, and now we're all going to pitch in and help take care of him until he's old enough to live on his own.” 

Flattered by Blaine's description of her as ‘noble,' Rachel pulled herself together.  “Well, I suppose I can overlook his deplorable parentage, since he is just a baby.  But if he tries to eat me when he grows up, mama's getting a new coat.”

“Speaking of eating,” Froggy said, in a desperate bid to change the subject, “the four of you must be famished.  I slept most of the day, since I spent the night steering the ship, but when I woke up a couple of hours ago I put a stew on to simmer.  It must be ready by now.  Why don't you sit down and tell us all about your adventures while we have dinner.”

Over steaming bowls of stew (which Chris, knowing who'd prepared it, was pleased to note was free from flies) Kurt described their encounter with the Snow Queen and the bears who guarded her.  When he got to the part about taking the scepter from her as she lay pinned beneath the icicle chandelier, Chris remembered that there was something he'd been meaning to ask about.

“It looked like you were listening to her for a moment, there.  What did she say to you?”

Kurt looked uneasy.  “Well, I guess I can tell you now, since we've all made it safely back to the ship.  Just before she lost consciousness, the Snow Queen said, ‘Of the four travelers, one will not return.'  It really freaked me out, because I know she's got a reputation for having the gift of prophecy.  When I saw that Blaine and Darren had been frozen, I was terrified that we might not be able to save one of them.”

Chris felt his blood run cold at the thought.  “You really are amazingly good in a crisis,” he told Kurt admiringly.  “I was so worried, I couldn't think straight.  But you knew exactly what to do.”

Kurt blushed at the praise.  “Well, I do have a lot of experience in emergency situations.  One of the perks of being a wanted fugitive, I guess.”

“So how did you thaw them out?” Froggy asked.

It was Chris's turn to blush as Kurt explained the steps they'd taken to ensure Blaine and Darren wouldn't die of hypothermia.

Later that night, lying cuddled up with Darren, Chris said, “I really was worried about you today.”

“I was worried, too.  I could hear and feel everything that was happening, but I couldn't move.  That cold was painful.  But it was almost worth it for the chance to get you and Kurt and Blaine all naked in bed with me.”   

“Oh my god.  I had no idea my boyfriend was so kinky,” Chris gasped, pretending to be scandalized.

“Hey - don't try to act like you weren't into it,” Darren teased.  “You know Kurt is totally hot, and I'll be offended if you don't think Blaine is, too.”

Chris grew serious.  “Objectively, of course I think that Blaine is hot.  I mean, minus a little scruff and strategically placed hair, he's basically got your body, so I'd have to, wouldn't I?  But the last time we were here, one of the things that made me realize that my feelings for you were real, and not just the result of character bleed, is that I've actually never been attracted to Blaine.  Not the one on Glee, and not the one here, either.  You're the only one who I want to be with.” 

“Chris,” Darren breathed, stroking his face gently.  “You are making it so fucking hard for me not to kiss you right now.”

“Well, we've already got one item for the Wand of Wonderment.  Just five more to go, and then we can defeat the Enchantress, end this curse, and do everything we want.”

“Everything?”

“Everything.”