Tensions were running high on the ship for the rest of the day.  Rachel's renewed — and none-too-subtle — crush on Blaine had pushed both Froggy and Kurt past the bounds of their patience, and even Blaine himself was beginning to get snappish under the strain.  

Meanwhile, Chris and Darren — although not directly involved in the bizarre love quadrangle — were feeling the stress of their own unresolved sexual tension.  The prohibition against kissing each other was taking its toll on their new relationship.

Even Roary seemed agitated.  His constant whining as he wandered disconsolately between the various members of his newfound pack only added to everyone's irritation.

Finally, Chris could stand it no longer.  “I know we agreed to lie low during the day, and only travel at night,” he said, “but this mission is going to fail if we end up killing each other before we get the other four items we need for the Wand of Wonderment.  We're only a short distance from your kingdom, Queen Red.  I suggest we fly there now and all go off to separate rooms for the night.”

Darren looked a bit hurt by the suggestion, but no one argued.  Froggy fired up the hot air balloon, and soon they were floating over the wall surrounding the Red Riding Hood Kingdom.  Before long, they touched down outside the castle, and everyone disembarked with the haste of rats fleeing a sinking ship.

Rachel ordered her servants to show them all to separate guest chambers, and to bring them supper and breakfast in their rooms, so there would be no need for them to see each other until late the following morning.  Then, scooping up Roary, she flounced off to her own quarters.

Darren gave Chris a kicked-puppy look.  “Are you mad at me?”

“No, sweetie, of course not.  But I think a little alone time will be good for all of us.”

Darren didn't seem convinced, but he gave Chris a small smile and squeezed his hand before following a servant away down the hall.  Chris allowed another servant to show him to his own room.  Shutting the door of the only private space he'd had since arriving in the fairytale world, he felt like he could breathe properly for the first time that afternoon.

For a while, Chris luxuriated in the quiet and solitude.  It was a relief to be away from his increasingly irritable — and irritating — companions.  By the time he'd finished his supper, however, he was beginning to think that there was at least one of those companions whom he wouldn't mind seeing that evening.

Chris was just debating whether or not he should go in search of his boyfriend when a soft tap sounded at his door, followed by Darren's hesitant voice.  “Chris?  I know you needed some alone time, and I'll go away if you want, but I missed you, so I just thought I'd come say hi.”

Chris wasted no time in opening the door, taking Darren's hand, and pulling him first into the room and then into his arms.  “I missed you, too.”

Darren melted into his embrace, chuckling a little.  “Well, hi.”

“Hi there yourself,” Chris replied, grinning.  “I think I've had enough solitude for the time being, and what I need now is some good, old-fashioned cuddling.  Know anyone who'd care to join me?”

“Always.”

…

The servant who delivered Chris's breakfast the following morning didn't seem surprised to find Darren in bed with him.  “Don't worry, I brought a second tray with me, just in case,” she told them.  “I've already been through the same thing with Kurt and Blaine, so I came prepared.”

After breakfast, Chris and Darren headed for Blaine's beanstalk, where they'd arranged to meet the others.  It was a beautiful, sunny day, and they walked along happily, swinging their joined hands between them.  

Even if they hadn't remembered the route from their previous visit, the beanstalk would have been impossible to miss.  It towered over the kingdom, rising up into a bank of fluffy clouds in the otherwise blue sky.  Kurt, Blaine, and Froggy were waiting at its base when they arrived. 

“Where's Red?” Chris asked.

“She's staying behind to take care of Roary,” Froggy answered, voice tight.  

Chris and Darren exchanged looks, as did Kurt and Blaine, but, wisely, no one commented.

“So, how do we do this?” Darren asked.

“Climbing the beanstalk is strenuous, but it's not difficult,” Blaine explained.  “The leaves provide the perfect hand and foot-holds.  Just follow my lead.  Oh, and whatever you do, don't look down.”

Blaine set off up the beanstalk, followed by Kurt, Froggy, Chris, and Darren.  He hadn't been kidding about the climb being strenuous.  Up and up and up they went, the air getting thinner and thinner the higher they ascended.

At the halfway point, Blaine paused to check in.  “How's everyone doing?”

“I'm great,” Kurt answered sassily.  “I've had the perfect view of your ass this whole time.”

Darren laughed.  “I'm great, too.  Same reason, different ass.”

“I guess I'm okay, but frog buns don't really do it for me,” Chris teased.  “No offense, Froggy.”

“None taken,” Froggy replied.  “I'm actually thankful to be in my amphibian form right now.  Climbing this beanstalk is much easier as a frog.”

“So, is everyone ready to go on?” Blaine asked.

There was a chorus of agreement, and the quintet resumed their ascent.  After what seemed like hours, they entered the clouds, but still the beanstalk rose ever on above them.  They were all out of breath, with quivering muscles, by the time they finally reached the top.

Stepping off the beanstalk with relief, they found themselves on a path through the clouds.  An enormous castle loomed in the distance.

“If I lived here, the first thing I'd do is install an elevator,” Darren panted.

Chris leaned against him, trying to catch his breath.  “If I lived here, the first thing I'd do is move.”

Blaine waited for everyone to recover from the climb before leading them along the path to the castle.  Once they reached the massive edifice, they got down on their bellies and slipped under the door into a vast entrance hall.  Getting to their feet, they stared in wonder at the larger-than-life portrait hanging on the far wall.

“It's Unique!” Chris gasped.

“Wow!” Darren said, looking around at all of the other pictures of the magic harp lining the walls.  “The giant must have really loved her.”

“Hmmm…” Froggy said.  “Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?”

“Was Unique the giant's most prized possession?” Kurt asked.

Blaine looked confused.  “I don't know.  I've always thought of Unique as a person — albeit in the form of a musical instrument — not as a thing to be owned.  Could she really be one of the items we need for the Wand of Wonderment?”

“Well, let's look around and see if we can find anything else that the giant might have valued more than the magic harp,” Chris suggested.

As the five made their way across the hall, they passed a closet with its door hanging ajar.  Inside they could see a dozen identical extra-extra-extra large green tracksuits.

Darren looked questioningly at Chris.  “Sue again?”

“Guess she was the not-so-jolly green giant,” Chris quipped.

At the end of the hall, they turned left into the giant's dining room.  There, too, portraits of Unique covered the walls.  Sculptures and statues of the magic harp were on display, and even the backs of the chairs had her silhouette carved into them. 

Blaine sighed.  “I'm sorry for dragging you all up here for nothing.  I guess Unique really was the giant's most prized possession.”

Kurt put an arm around his shoulders.  “Don't worry about it.  This has been a fun adventure.  I've secretly always wanted to see the giant's castle.”

Chris knew that Darren felt the same way, and expected to hear his voice piping up in agreement.  Instead, when Darren spoke, he sounded worried.

“Chris, what do you think that is?”

Chris looked in the direction his boyfriend was pointing.  On the floor, in the corner of the room, he saw an enormous green bowl with Lord Tubbington printed on it.

“Blaine,” Chris asked nervously, “did the giant have any pets?”

Before Blaine could answer, there came a thunderous MEOW.  Everyone whirled around to see a colossal cat waddling into the room.  Ten feet tall, ten feet long, and at least ten feet wide, the cat resembled a giant, fluffy beach ball.  It would have been funny and cute if not for the foot-long fangs that were exposed as it let out another deafening MEOW.

“N-n-n-nice kitty,” Chris stammered.

“Fuck that!” Darren yelled.  “RUN!”

All five of them sprinted out of the dining room and back through the entrance hall, with Lord Tubbington lumbering along behind them.  They slid under the door just in time to evade the cat's saber-like claws.

As they hurried back along the path to the beanstalk, Darren said, “See, this is why I'm a dog person.”

“Hey,” Chris said, “that's not fair.  You know you love Brian.”

“Well, yeah.  Brian's an exception.  Of course I love Brian.  And after this, I will never again make fun of his size.”