Froggy must have been getting better at landing the flying ship, because there was no sudden jolt to awaken Chris the next morning.  Instead, he woke to the feeling of being watched.  Opening his eyes, he found Darren staring down at him.

“You're beautiful when you're sleeping.”

“Creepy much, Dare?”

“Hey, no.  I'm serious.  I love looking at you,” Darren said, brushing a stray lock of hair from Chris's forehead.  He leaned down, but Chris rolled quickly away from him.

“Please don't tempt me to kiss you.”

Darren let out a long-suffering sigh.  “Fine.  Let's go see where we are.”

They climbed up to the deck, where they found Froggy and Rachel tossing a pinecone back and forth between them while an exited Roary raced from one to the other, trying to catch it.  Rachel appeared to have completely gotten over her fear of the wolf cub.

“Good morning,” Froggy called out. 

“Good morning,” Darren replied, taking advantage of Rachel's momentary distraction to snatch the pinecone out of the air before she could catch it.  “Looks like we're playing Puppy in the Middle, huh?”

Darren tossed the pinecone to Chris, who burst out laughing at the sight of the wolf cub tripping over his own too-big paws as he tried to change course.  Soon all four of them were laughing uproariously at the puppy's antics as he tried in vain to catch the pinecone.

Eventually, a sleepy looking Kurt and Blaine appeared on deck, grumbling about the noise.

“Sorry,” Chris said.  “I didn't realize you two were still asleep.”

“We were up late,” Blaine explained.

“Trying not to kiss, if you know what I mean,” Kurt added with a wink.

Rachel shot him a dirty look.  “Yes, well, we're all in the same boat here.  Literally.  So let's keep ourselves focused on the mission, and avoid over-sharing — if you know what I mean!”

“Sorry, Red,” Blaine said placatingly.  “We didn't mean to offend you.”

“Oh, I know you didn't,” Rachel said, batting her eyelashes at him.  “You're always a perfect gentleman.” 

Chris could see Kurt stiffen at her words, and decided it was time to jump in.  “Speaking of the mission, I thought we were going to try the giant's castle next, but this doesn't look like your kingdom, Queen Red.  Where are we?”

“We're in the Charming Kingdom.  Since you managed to get the Snow Queen's scepter so quickly, Blaine thought his beanstalk wouldn't have grown tall enough to reach the giant's castle yet.  So we're going to visit Quinderella's Wicked Stepmother first.”

“Sounds good,” said Darren.  “What's our plan?”

“I'm going to stay here with Roary,” Froggy said.  “I could use some sleep, after staying up all night piloting the ship again.  Plus, I'm not exactly inconspicuous in my current form.  The Wicked Stepmother is extremely status-conscious.  She'd never allow me through her front door.  But she'll jump at the chance to entertain royalty, so Red will have no problem gaining admittance to her home.”

“What about the rest of us?” Blaine asked.  “Surely we can't send Red all by herself.  I'd be glad to go along, but Kurt and I are fugitives, and if the Wicked Stepmother has seen any of the wanted posters tacked up all over the land, she's bound to recognize us.”

“I have it all planned out,” Rachel said happily.  “You'll be disguised as my handmaidens.”

“Excuse me?” Kurt said with a raised eyebrow.

“It makes perfect sense,” Rachel explained.  “As a queen, I can't be expected to travel without handmaidens to attend to my every need.  And between the fact that you'll be dressed as women, and the fact that no one of rank ever looks twice at servants, there's no way she'll know who you are.”

“I am not dressing as your servant,” Kurt said haughtily.  “I don't object to women's garb, but I'll go as a lady-in-waiting.”

“Oh, that sounds fun!” Darren interjected.  “Can Chris and I be ladies-in-waiting, too?”

“Why?” Chris asked.  “We're not wanted fugitives.”

“But you know how much I love playing dress-up.  Come on.  Please?”

“Fine,” Chris said, with a fond roll of his eyes.

Rachel rolled her eyes, as well — though in a much less fond way.  “Fine,” she huffed, flouncing over to the row of trunks lining the walls of the deck and lifting the lids.  “I suppose I can find suitable outfits for all of you.”

Darren skipped over to her excitedly.  “Wow, Red!  I can't believe you brought so many clothes.”

“A queen needs to be prepared to dress appropriately for any occasion.”

“What about all of these wigs?” Darren asked, sifting through the contents of one of the chests.

“Well, I thought the winds might be stronger way up in the sky, and I didn't want to risk the possibility of having a bad hair day.”

“And just look at all this makeup and jewelry,” Darren exclaimed, pulling Chris over to yet another trunk.  “We can pretend we're contestants on RuPaul's Drag Race.  It's gonna be totally awesome!”

“Okay, sweetie, calm down.  We haven't even had breakfast yet.  Let's get something to eat first, and then I'll be glad to play dress-up with you.”  

…

A few hours later, Rachel and her four “ladies-in-waiting” were approaching the home of the Wicked Stepmother.  A tall, wrought-iron fence surrounded the property, and a familiar figure stood at the gate.

Darren nudged Chris, whispering “It's Figgins!  Wasn't he guarding Quinderella's palace the last time we were here?  What's he doing outside the Wicked Stepmother's house?”

Chris shrugged, giving him a look that clearly said Your guess is as good as mine.

“Halt,” Figgins called out self-importantly.  “State your business.”

Never one to be outdone when it came to self-importance, Rachel puffed herself up and said, “I, Queen Red Riding Hood, have come to pay a royal visit.  Open the gate and step aside.”

“I'm sorry, Your Majesty,” Figgins replied, not sounding even remotely sorry, “but no one is allowed through this gate.”

Rachel gave him a scathing look.  “I recognize you,” she sneered.  “You've obviously been demoted from guarding Queen Quinderella to guarding her Wicked Stepmother.” 

“It wasn't my fault,” Figgins spluttered.  “How was I supposed to know that the messenger from the Sleeping Kingdom actually had something important to say —  a warning that could have saved Princess Beth?  I was only doing my job when I turned him away.  No one was supposed to be admitted to the palace without an invitation.  My hands were tied!”

“Well, we're here on a mission that could free the princess from this curse.  So if you don't want to be further demoted to guarding the royal dung heap, then I suggest you let us in.”

Figgins reluctantly opened the gate.  He shot suspicious looks at Chris, Darren, Kurt, and Blaine as they passed through, but he didn't say another word.

Rachel and her entourage made their way up to the house and pulled the bell cord.  A great clanging could be heard from within the house.  A few moments later the door was flung open, revealing a tall, imposing woman in a yellow tracksuit.  

“It's Sue again!” Darren whispered to Chris.

“I guess this would be her evil triplet,” Chris whispered back.

“May I help you?” Sue asked, in a tone that suggested she would be pleased to help them find the nearest river to drown in.

“I'm Queen Red Riding Hood,” Rachel said, stepping forward.  “And these are my ladies-in-waiting — Lady Daisy, Lady Christine, Lady Jane, and Lady Gert.”

The four men in drag curtsied.

Hearing that she was in the presence of royalty, the Wicked Stepmother's entire demeanor changed.  “Oh, how kind of you to drop by.  Do come in,” Sue invited, ushering them through to a parlor.  

Chris walked over to the mantlepiece and looked at the portraits of two identical girls.  He wasn't sure, but he thought they reminded him of an actress Ryan had mentioned casting for the next season.  “Are these your daughters?” he asked.

“Yes.  That would be Little Cat A and Little Cat Z.  You won't meet them, since they're hiding at the moment.  I empower my daughters to live in a state of constant fear by creating an environment of irrational, random terror.”

“And is this Michael Bolton?” Darren asked, gesturing to another portrait.

“Ah, yes.  My dearly departed husband.”

“I've heard that he loved you very much,” Blaine said.  “And that he gave you the world's most beautiful ring.  May I see it?”

Flattered, Sue held her hand out to Blaine.  He took it and brought it up to his face, as if to inspect the ring more closely.  Then, in one swift motion, he kissed Sue's fingers.

The moment Blaine's lips touched her skin, the Wicked Stepmother fell into a deep sleep and crumpled to the floor.  Kurt quickly snatched the ring from her finger and pocketed it.

“Let's get out of here,” Chris said, “before the little kitties come out of hiding.”

They left the house, trying to appear nonchalant as they passed by a disgruntled looking Figgins at the gate.  Once they were around the corner and out of his sight, they broke into a run, sprinting back to the flying ship.

Froggy came out to greet them.  “Back so soon?  Did you get the ring?”

“Oh yes!  Blaine was amazing!” Rachel gushed.  “Even dressed as a woman, he's just so charming.  He took the Wicked Stepmother's hand and kissed it.  I don't think she ever saw it coming, but even if she had, I don't think she would have stopped him.  I mean, who could resist being kissed by those lips…”

This was too much, even for someone as easy-going as Froggy.  He turned several different shades of green in rapid succession.  Then, glaring at Rachel, he began to sing:

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!  Rama-ramama-ah

GaGa-ooh-la-la!  Want your bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!  Rama-ramama-ah

GaGa-ooh-la-la!  Want your bad romance

I want your ugly, I want your disease

I want your everything as long as its free

I want your love

Love, love, love, I want your love

I want your drama, the touch of your hand

I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand

I want your love

Love, love, love, I want your love

You know that I want you

And you know that I need you

I want it bad, your bad romance

I want your love and I want your revenge

You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh--oh-oooh

I want your love and all your lovers revenge

You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!  Rama-ramama-ah

GaGa-ooh-la-la!  Want your bad romance

I want your horror, I want your design

Cause youre a criminal as long as you're mine

I want your love

Love, love, love, I want your love

I want your psycho, your vertigo stick

Want you in my rear window, baby you're sick

I want your love

Love, love, love, I want your love

Love, love, love, I want your love

You know that I want you

And you know that I need you

I want a bad, bad romance

I want your love and I want your revenge

You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh

I want your love and all your lovers revenge

You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!  Rama-ramama-ah

GaGa-ooh-la-la!  Want your bad romance…