“Should I be jealous?” Chris teased.

Darren grinned back at him in the mirror.  “Nope.  I just signed an assumed name on Joe's chest with a Sharpie.  As soon as I get the chance, I'm gonna sign my real name on your body in hickeys.”

“You most certainly will not!”

“We'll see…  Once I get my mouth on you, I think I can be pretty persuasive.”  

Chris could feel his face heating.  He suspected that Darren was right.  Deciding to change the subject, he asked, “So, have you learned anything useful?  Any spell that will bring us back together?”

“Not yet.  I don't seem to be able to do any magic, but that's not particularly surprising, since Harry wasn't much of a wizard in our musicals.  I'm sure that something's gonna turn up, though.  Rumbleroar wouldn't steer me wrong.”

“Oh, ‘cause talking lions never lie, huh?”

“Not this one.  He seemed really sincere.”

“Compared to all of the other stone lions you've talked to?”

“You can be as snarky as you want, but I have faith.”

“I'm trying to, but it's hard.  Being back here, with Kurt and Blaine — they've been pardoned, by the way, in reward for their roles in helping to defeat the Enchantress — and Froggy and Red and Unique, it's almost like being back on the flying ship, just without a curse hanging over us, and it would be so perfect, if only you were here.”

“I know, babe.  This should be perfect, too.  I'm in actual fucking Gryffindor House, where I've dreamed of being since I was a kid.  But a house is not a home when theres no one there to hold you tight, and no one there you can kiss goodnight.”

Chris felt a lump rise in his throat as Darren sang the familiar lines.  He forced himself to lighten the mood.  “I'm sure Joey will kiss you goodnight if you ask nicely.”

“Yeah, but not with tongue.”

“Good.  Otherwise I'd have to come to Hogwarts and kick his ass.”

…   

Darren had almost forgotten about the House Cup Tournament, but the next day he and the other champions were summoned to compete.  Dumbledore gathered them all together and gave them his version of a pep talk:

“Are you kids ready to fight a dragon?  Of course not, you're just children.  What the hell am I thinking?  But outside of this tent are thousands upon thousands of screaming fans.  They're either gonna be cheering for you, or the dragon, but either way they're gonna be making some kind of noise.”

The champions shot each other worried glances.  

Dumbledore continued, “So, in order for the selection process to be fair, I am randomly going to select a cardboard cutout size version of the dragon you will be facing.  Cedric, for you, Puff, the Magic Dragon. Cho, Figment, the Imaginary Dragon.  Draco, the Reluctant Dragon.”

He handed each of them a cute, cartoon cutout of a dragon.  Then, turning to Darren, he announced, “And for you, Potter, the Hungarian Horntail — the most terrifying thing you've ever seen in your whole life!” 

Even though he'd known what to expect, Darren couldn't help recoiling from the ferocious image on his cardboard cutout.  As first Cedric and then Cho left to fight their dragons, Darren tried unsuccessfully to convince Draco to trade with him.  But finally, inevitably, he had to face the Hungarian Horntail.

Darren was impressed, as always, with Nick Lang's puppet-making skills.  As the enormous dragon — controlled by several StarKids — came rushing toward him, he cried out, “Accio guitar!”

Joey sprang forward and handed him a guitar, and Darren began to strum and sing:

Hey dragon

You don't gotta do this

Let's reevaluate our options

Throw away our old presumptions

Cause really you don't gotta go through this

The dragon blinked his eyes and swayed his huge head in time with the music.

I'm really not that special

The boy who lived is only flesh and bone

The truth is in the end

I'm pretty useless without friends

In fact I'm alone

At this, the dragon closed his eyes and bowed his head in apparent sympathy.

I spend my time at school

Trying to be this cool guy

I never even asked for

I don't know any spells

Still manage to do well

But there's only so long that can last for 

I'm living off the glory

Of a stupid children's story

That I had nothing to do with

Just sat there and got lucky 

So level with me buddy

I can't defeat thee

So please don't eat me

All I can do

Is sing a song for you

La la la la laaa

Rah rah rah rah rahhhh the dragon sang back.

La la la la laaa

Rah rah rah rah rahhhh

La la la la la la laaa

Rah rah rah rah rahhhh

You never asked to be a dragon

I never asked to be a champion 

We both just jumped on this bandwagon

But all we need is guitar jamming

La la la la laaa

Rah rah rah rah rahhhh the dragon replied sleepily.

La la la la la la la laaaa

Good night dragon

Soothed by the lullaby, the dragon sank to the floor, fast asleep.  Darren tiptoed over and pinned down the massive puppet's head.  “1, 2, 3!  I BEAT THE DRAGON!” he crowed.