Chris gradually settled into the routine of his new life.  

Every day, he awoke at dawn to the sound of the magic harp singing, “Oh, the sun is up, and so am I…” at the top of her lungs.  The first morning, he sat bolt upright in bed, disoriented and alarmed, until he remembered where he was.  The second morning, he again awoke with a start, wishing he'd never written that song in The Wishing Spell.  By the third morning, though, Chris had begun to grow accustomed to the sound of Unique's voice as his wake-up call, and was actually starting to like it.

After breakfast each day, Chris sat down with a quill and parchment and worked on his sequel.  He figured there was no reason why being stuck in the fairytale world should mean he couldn't finish his book.  In fact, the adventures that he and Darren had shared with Kurt, Blaine, Froggy, and Red gave him plenty of inspiration for his writing.

Some time in the late morning, the magic mirror that Chris had propped up next to the desk where he was working would begin to shimmer, signaling that Darren was finally awake.  Chris would immediately lay down his quill and tap the mirror, eager to see his boyfriend's face.  He and Darren would chat for an hour or two, never at a loss for things to say.

When Chris started getting hungry for lunch, he would head out into the town.  News of the role he and Darren had played in defeating the Enchantress had spread quickly, and he had become somewhat of a local celebrity.  The townspeople were practically tripping over each other in their attempts to show their gratitude by giving him anything they thought he might want.

Chris received meat from the butcher, bread from the baker, and a lovely set of silver candlesticks from the candlestick maker.  Peter Peter gave him pumpkin soup for lunch and pumpkin muffins to take home for the following day's breakfast.  Little Miss Muffet was eager to share her curds and whey, while Georgie Porgie provided him with all the pudding and pie he could eat.  Once Chris's appetite was satisfied, Mary Mary always gave him fresh flowers from her garden to take home for Unique.   

In the afternoons, Chris would spend a little more time on his writing.  Then he'd have to sing a few duets with the magic harp before she'd agree to play some workout music for him.  She'd sing “Physical” while Chris did his crunches, “Push It” while he did his push ups, and then, for aerobic exercise, she'd insist that he do the “Single Ladies” dance for her.

After his workout, Chris would draw himself a hot bath.  He'd bring the magic mirror with him, carefully holding it out of the water as he allowed himself to sink back for a relaxing soak while he reconnected with his boyfriend.  Darren would always begin by asking the same cheesy question:  “What are you wearing?”  And Chris would always give the same flirty answer:  “Bubbles…”

Every evening, Chris walked up to the castle for dinner, where he was greeted with varying levels of effusive enthusiasm by Roary, Froggy, and Red.  After an elaborate meal, prepared by the castle chefs, the wolf cub would fall asleep in Chris's lap while Rachel serenaded them.  Then they'd play cards or charades until Chris was ready to head back to the house he was currently (and, he hoped, temporarily) calling home.

Curled up in bed at night, Chris would once again tap his magic mirror.  The early morning wake-up calls, courtesy of Unique, meant that Chris was tired long before Darren was, so their bedtime chats tended to be a little one-sided.  As soon as Darren noticed his boyfriend's eyes drifting closed, he would pick up his guitar and sing him to sleep. 

This life wasn't the one that Chris would have chosen for himself, but he was definitely trying to make the best of it.  Darren had assured him that everything was under control in the other world.  The Fairy Godfather's final portal had deposited Darren back home on the same day they left, so he didn't have to account for his whereabouts during the time he was in the Land of Stories.  Darren had told everyone that Chris had decided to take an extended vacation on the East Coast after his book tour, and Ashley (bless her heart) was still taking care of his cat.  With those worries off of his mind, and the ability to communicate with Darren whenever he wanted to, Chris found that he was surprisingly content with his current situation.

…

The first bump in the road came about a week after Chris moved in with Unique.  That evening, when he arrived at the castle for dinner, he was met by a very irate Queen Red.  

“I cannot believe that troublemaker!” she huffed, by way of greeting.

“Who?” Chris asked, confused.

“Little Sugar Peep!  She had the nerve to come here today and tell me that I'm not doing a good job as queen, and so she's calling for a new election.”

“Can she do that?”

“Apparently she can.  She's been going around telling everyone that I sold out our kingdom to the Enchantress by kissing Froggy and falling asleep.  And when I pointed out that she was being rude, do you know what she said?  She claimed that she couldn't help it, because she has ass-burgers.  What kind of an excuse is that?  I mean, who wants to eat patties of donkey meat?  Even if I wasn't a vegan, I'd stay away from those!”   

Chris couldn't quite suppress a snort.

“This is no laughing matter!” Rachel cried indignantly.  “That tone-deaf wanna-be is trying to take away my throne.  She can't even keep track of her own sheep.  And somehow she thinks she's qualified to run a kingdom?!?”

“Don't worry,” Froggy said soothingly.  “I'm sure no one will vote for her.”

…

The next day, when Chris wandered into town at lunch time, he found the election already in progress.  Apparently, no one here had ever heard of the concept of a secret ballot.  Instead, an imposing man stood handing out slips of parchment.  He then watched as citizens wrote their own names on their ballots, and placed them in one of two large, wooden chests, clearly labeled Little Red Riding Hood and Little Sugar Peep.  Chris noticed that the man scowled menacingly at anyone who made a move toward the one for Red.

“Who is that man?” Chris asked Little Miss Muffet.

“Oh, that's Big Daddy Peep.  He owns most of the farmland in this kingdom.”

Chris had a sinking feeling that he knew how the election was going to turn out.

…

Chris, Rachel, and Froggy were just about to sit down to dinner that evening when Little Sugar Peep burst into the room unannounced.

“Loser!” she crowed, holding one hand up in an L at her forehead and pointing the other at Rachel.  “The ballots have been counted, and guess how many votes you got?  Zero!  You and that freak-show boyfriend of yours have until midnight to be out of this castle.  There's a new queen in town — me!”  

Rachel seemed to puff herself up to twice her natural size as she let Sugar have it the best way she knew how:

Yeah, you may think that Im a zero

But, hey, everyone you wanna be

Probably started off like me

You may say that Im a freak show

(“I dont care” Froggy mumbled)

But, hey, give me just a little time

I bet youre gonna change your mind

All of the dirt youve been throwin my way

It aint so hard to take, thats right

Cause I know one day youll be screamin my name

And Ill just look away, thats right

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth

So everyone can hear

Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down

Baby, I dont care

Keep it up, and soon enough youll figure out

You wanna be, you wanna be

A loser like me

A loser like me

Hey, you over there

Keep the L up, up in the air

Hey, you over there

Keep the L up, cause I dont care

You can throw your sticks and you can throw your stones

Like a rocket, just watch me go

Yeah, L-O-S-E-R

I can only be who I are

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth

So everyone can hear

Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down

Baby, I dont care

Keep it up, and soon enough youll figure out

You wanna be, you wanna be

A loser like me

A loser like me

A loser like me

A loser like me

A loser like me!

With a loud harrumph, Sugar flounced out of the room.

The moment she was gone, Rachel deflated completely.  “Oh, what am I going to do?” she wailed.

“You can come and stay with me,” Chris offered.  “I'm sure Unique won't mind.”

“But to be cast out of my castle?  To be forced to live in exile?  You can't possibly imagine how that feels.”

Chris gave her a hard look.  “Really?”

“Oh.  Right.  Sorry.”

Froggy stepped in to smooth things over.  “Thanks, Chris.  We'd love to stay with you.”

“No problem,” Chris said, hoping his words would prove to be true.