April 3, 2012, 1:42 p.m.
Delayed Regret: Chapter 16
T - Words: 2,136 - Last Updated: Apr 03, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 16/? - Created: Jan 29, 2012 - Updated: Apr 03, 2012 1,214 0 2 0 0
Gah, everything is crazy. Sorry this also took so long, I SWEAR. I WILL be updating faster nowish… especially as it's Spring Break! I mean, a five day Spring Break, but I still plan to get some things done…
The first half of my "special project" is posted. It happens to be a prostitute!Blaine fic that I have managed to make Rated T. Think about it… NOW you understand how it took so long. It's pretty angsty… so yay.
Also, while this multichapter definitely has precedence over everything else, I am starting another chapter story. It's gonna be one of those cute Klaine hooks Niff up and vice versa things.
But mostly about Niff because Nick and Jeff are pretty much more oblivious than Klaine could ever be, even though they're both pretty bad.
Lastly, this chapter is oober Niffy. Don't worry, it's about to get really Klaine-y really fast, so I had to shove this in before stuff got real…
Good? That was a lot of announcements. Here we go…
"So… are you two finally together?" Kurt asked as he sat down at the table, and Jeff quickly blushed, looking down to notice just how close he and Nick had been sitting. He had scooted nearer to the brunette when Kurt had walked through the front doors of the Lima Bean, the tension that had followed near forcing him closer to his best friend. Oh, crap, he was practically in the other boy's lap. He cleared his throat.
"Um, no," he answered awkwardly, his collar suddenly extremely itchy. Jeff picked at his tie, while Kurt just nodded solemnly, leaning back in his chair.
"Sad…" Kurt said with a pout, and Jeff noticed how red Nick's cheeks were getting. "Okay, so why am I here?" he asked, and Jeff admittedly wasn't so sure himself. He sort of felt like he was just being dragged around lately. But that was cool. Jeff was used to having no idea what was going on. Especially when it had to deal with Nick, which currently everything did…
"We wanna talk about Blaine," David said, startling Jeff. He had almost forgotten the council member was there. He was leaning forward on his elbows, and Kurt arched an eyebrow.
"I thought we already did," he said, confusion clouding his eyes so darkly, even Jeff could see it. "Where's Wes, then?" Jeff couldn't help but squirm in his seat at the question.
"We decided he shouldn't be here today," Nick said, putting a stilling hand on Jeff's knee. "He's a bit… biased," he said, with an embarrassed smile. Jeff scratched the back of his neck, letting his eyes grow wide. Yeah, Wes was a "bit biased". Leave it to Nick to put something so crazy into such pleasant terms. The senior was practically insane, he was so mad at everybody that wasn't a Warbler.
Why did everyone have to hurt them?
Jeff hated how hard everything had to be. Like… how things had to be so difficult that people became nuts like this. Everyone was going crazy, and Jeff was just so, so sick of things not being okay. Every time he thought he found an out, he was dragged into something even more depressing.
Sterling boys generally had a pretty good life, but in –in a lot of ways- Jeff was the exception. It didn't matter if his house had the pool, or if his clothes were all name brand, he… he didn't look right. His brothers were all graced with broad shoulders and masculine jaws and all that crap…
Jeff was called "faery face".
He didn't even really look like a girl. Especially not towards the end… but no one seemed to care. Mean nicknames always turn into big things, and middle school… middle school was scary. Middle school was getting beat up for being in the "wrong" bathroom. Middle school was shoves in the locker room where "he didn't belong". Middle school was taunts, and accusations, and fear –so much freaking fear…
And now he was in high school, and there weren't supposed to be bullies, and Nick kept telling him he was perfect, and beautiful, and everything he needed, but it didn't matter because this was still so hard. And he was sick of it.
Because… because maybe he was a scared little girl, just like everyone always said he was. Right now he didn't feel strong, or courageous, or brave like how Nick always said he was. No one was trying to hurt him this time around, but he was still scared… and he didn't know why.
He involuntarily scooted closer to Nick again.
And it wasn't just him, either. People hurt freaking all the Warblers. He didn't really know everything about all the other boys. He had a feeling David did if he ever really had to know… But he wouldn't. Jeff could see the pain in their eyes and the desperation in their actions, and that was overwhelming enough.
He knew a lot about Nick, though… Nick was always with him. Always. And that was good, because Jeff was always with Nick. It was a both ways thing, even if Nick didn't always understand that. But through all that… togetherness, Jeff had learned a good deal about Nick's life before Dalton, just as Nick had learned his. He knew all about how Nick had basically been abandoned by everyone he knew, and he knew that's what made him so clingy for lack of a better word. Jeff didn't like how his friend could be so messed up and sad because he hadn't known anyone who loved him right before Dalton. He didn't like people hurting at all.
But now wasn't the time for thinking about that. Jeff had zoned out big time, and Nick nudging him in the side brought him back to reality fast. Kurt and David were going back and forth across the little round table they were seated at.
"So you're basically giving me a second chance," Kurt surmised, and David bit his lip, obviously mulling over the cheater's conclusion.
"Not exactly… I don't know… I just… I felt weird leaving it where we did. Like, you actually seem sorry this time, Kurt," David explained, and Jeff watched as the slighter boy seemed to deflate at the words. He did look genuine… "I didn't want to let that go when Blaine truly deserves a proper apology."
"I know he does. I just wanna see him… I feel like… we belong together, and I just have to-"
"No, wait, stop," Jeff interrupted. Maybe it was because he had tuned out, but he was confused. "I don't get it. Why… Why would you do what you did to Blaine? Why… Why would you make him hate himself like that?" He felt tears clog up his throat. He was scared of Kurt. He was scared he'd end up like Blaine: end up in the dark again. He was tired of hating himself; Kurt made people hate themselves. The shorter boy sighed and gave him a sympathetic look that made Jeff's skin crawl.
"Jeff, I didn't mean to, okay?" Kurt asked gently, and Jeff hated how Kurt always talked to him like he was four. Admittedly, Jeff got confused easily and emotional fast, but he went to Dalton. His vocabulary was bigger than a preschooler's. "Sometimes things happen on accident," Kurt explained, and Jeff felt Nick's hold on his knee tighten. "People make mistakes."
"No," Jeff said, mocking the tone Kurt tended to use with him before getting serious and allowing the hurt to creep back into his voice. "People like us make mistakes. You're not… you're not a Warbler anymore, Kurt. Your mistakes aren't innocent. They're not like ours… they don't come with the right kind of apologies." Kurt furrowed his eyebrows together, and Jeff could see an identical look on both Nick and David's faces.
"What are you trying to say?" Jeff frowned.
"I… I think I'm saying… You're…. you're… you're one of them, Kurt. You hurt people. You make others hurt because you aren't content enough with yourself, and misery needs company. And you make people hurt so much, so they can't even breathe, so they can't function, and… and you… you…" Jeff stammered, running out of words. A hard pang of realization hit his heart with full force. "You're not nice. I can't… I can't… You're a bully, Kurt!" he yelped, and Jeff couldn't help but bolt from the table, stomach churning. He couldn't do this; he couldn't be with Kurt; he couldn't let himself be hurt again…
He heard Nick's chair scraping behind him.
"Jeff... Jeff? Jeff!" Nick called after the blonde, speed walking after him before breaking into a run. His best friend was currently sprinting out of The Lima Bean, and Nick could barely keep up on his shorter legs. He hated this. Dalton should really mention in their brochures that emotional attachments and breakdowns basically came with the schooling.
Because now Jeff was running away, but Nick couldn't just be alone, and he couldn't stand Jeff upset because it always ended up making him upset, and he hated hearing about everything Jeff had to go through because Jeff didn't deserve any of it, and there was actually some pretty disturbing stuff hidden in his past that Nick didn't like listening to since the idea of Jeff being in pain hurt him too, plus it reminded him of his own past and…
Crap, Nick couldn't do this, actually. He could literally comfort every other person on earth when it came down to it, but Jeff… Jeff was so hard… Every time the blond cried, Nick wanted nothing more than to cry with him. He couldn't even do anything.
"Jeff!" he yelped, snagging the other boys arm as he nearly ran out into traffic. He wrapped an arm around him as the blond struggled to free himself, just managing to drag him to his car, open the door, and throw him in. Jeff was honestly throwing himself at him to break free, but Nick held him down. "Jeff, you calm down right now. Right. Now," he said in a voice that made him sound like a worn out elementary school teacher.
"Lemme go! I can't be here! Lemme go, lemme go, lemme go!" Jeff shouted as he repeatedly slammed into Nick, trying to push his way out of the car. A bit unthinkingly, he brought his hand up and slapped Jeff across the face. Crap, crap, crap. Nick actually sucked at this.
"Jeff, it's okay! Oh, Six, I swear it's okay. Kurt's Kurt. He's not Jeremy, or Grant, or Justin, or Alex, or… whoever," Nick spat, hating the way Jeff flinched with every name. He didn't want to say any more. "They're not here. This is my car. This is me. And you're okay." He was practically begging, and all of a sudden there were tears running down his face and tears running down Jeff's face, and Nick held Jeff close as he stood in the parking lot, the other boy in the passenger seat of his car.
"Nick, I'm- I'm-" Jeff struggled to get the words out, but Nick didn't need to hear what he had to say to know what was on his brain. And it hurt. Because every single thing Jeff was going to say was mean, and cold, and came from a part of him that Nick couldn't stand seeing.
"No, you're not. You're not any of that, I promise, okay? I promise. You're stronger than you think, Jeff. You're way stronger than anything. You're perfect, okay? You're absolutely fine. Your so, so perfect." Nick didn't actually know what he was saying. This was so depressingly routine, and Nick just couldn't… focus on these things anymore. "It's okay… you're okay. I promise. You're perfect, you're perfect, you're perfect, and I love you, okay? So don't worry." Yeah. Nick really didn't know what he was saying. "Don't worry."
"I don't think you should let Kurt see Blaine," Jeff choked, and Nick could tell he had ignored everything he had just said. Whatever. They would talk about this later. Nick knew compliments could sometimes just upset Jeff more…
"I think you made your position pretty clear," Nick said with a laugh, and Jeff couldn't stifle his own giggle, despite the way he was crying. Nick tightened his hold on the other boy. His voice softened. "Don't worry. I won't let him. And I'm pretty sure David is explaining our position as we speak," Nick assured him, head popping up to see Kurt's saddening face through the window of the coffee shop.
"M'kay," Jeff said, steeling himself for the long ride home, the look in his eyes confirming their future talk on this subject. Nick let him go and closed his car door, waving to David before shaking himself up and taking the driver's seat.
"Let's go home, honey."
Okay. FINALLY! Now let's get our Klaine on! Enough with this Niff. They're not important for, like… ever… KLAINE FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!
Comments
NiffNiffNiffNiffNiffNiff, OMG, I love them ;w; BUT I need my Klaine to be fine too! Yesh! And now I will go read your special project ~
Haha, that good old special project... Um, thank you!!! Like, a bunch! And no worries! We're getting pretty Blaine and Kurt-y in future chappies! Yay!