April 3, 2012, 1:42 p.m.
Delayed Regret: Chapter 14
T - Words: 2,033 - Last Updated: Apr 03, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 16/? - Created: Jan 29, 2012 - Updated: Apr 03, 2012 1,181 0 4 0 0
STORY TIME! Get amped!
Okay, so you know how I call Blaine "Blaine-a-bee" all the time cause it's my nickname for him? WELL, I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHY! I don't know if any of you have watched "Hello, Dolly", but it's kind of my favorite musical to ever happen ever. (Barbra Striesand. Get it together. Netflix instant streaming.)
Anyway. There's this little character in it named Barnaby Tucker. He looks nothing like Blaine. He acts nothing Blaine. There are no similarities at all. But for some reason every time I hear that part in the song "Sunday Clothes" where Cornelius Hackle (played by Micheal Crawford. Seriously, what are you doing? Go watch this) sings "Close your eyes and see it glisten, Barnaby! LISTEN, BARNABY!" I can't help but think of Darren Criss…
Barnaby=Blaine-a-bee
Nick Duval liked to consider himself a levelheaded person. He wasn't as incredible as David in that respect; he knew he could be a little bit irrational, especially when it came to meeting new people. "Jeff, I swear, they're not going to like me. They probably already don't." But he was pretty good at keeping it cool. It's what made him such an 'A+' babysitter and comforter. Nick was relatively good at keeping calm under pressure and in intense situations. Sure, there were exceptions, like that one time at camp when Jeff fell off of the water slide and ended up with a compound break in his arm and blood all over the place…
And now.
Right now would be an exception.
Nick honestly… He acted calm. He looked calm. He even felt generally calm. But on the inside he was a mess. It felt like his brain was at war with itself, and Nick didn't actually know what he was supposed to be doing. Nothing made sense. Everything just felt so complicated; there was drama at every turn, and none of it ever seemed to die down. His head felt all… muddled. Really, really muddled.
He supposed it was mostly because he was just worried. The more he tried to take care of Blaine, the more he felt like things were falling apart, especially when Sebastian was lurking and leering behind every corner. Nick did his best to never let the older boy have a chance alone with Blaine, but… he wouldn't go away. It made Nick want to hit something. Anything. He didn't like the way the other boy was staring at Blaine like a side dish he was going to tear into face first. Sebastian was a cannibal, and Blaine had already been eaten away too much to survive with him in the picture.
It was so stressful. Everything was so stressful. Blaine was a wreck, and he was a wreck and… and Jeff was a wreck. Nick hated when Jeff was a wreck. Hated it. Especially when he was around. Nick was supposed to take care of Jeff. He was his best friend, and it was basically Nick's duty to take care of him, even more so when it came to his… feelings or whatever. Nick was good with people, and he was good with Jeff. It was his job to be good with Jeff.
But right now. Right now would still be an exception.
He didn't know what to do. He couldn't actually fix anything for him. He could give him hugs and hold him as tightly as he needed –which wasn't hard in any respect- but there wasn't anything concrete he could do. Nick couldn't wipe away the problem like he so desperately wanted to. Like Jeff wanted him to.
That freaking drove Nick crazy. This was Jeff. His Jeff. His Jeff with his stupid blonde hair, and his annoyingly green eyes, and his frustrating voice that could make angels stop to listen... He had to fix things. He had to fix so many things because Jeff was… Jeff was his.
His Jeff.
Nick liked the sound of that.
Frankly, when it came to Jeff Sterling, Nick Duval wasn't entirely sure what to do with himself. He kind of… he kind of loved him… kind of. It's not like he was crushing hard, but… but sometimes Nick liked pretending that they weren't holding hands just because they were best friends. Sometimes he liked to lace their fingers together and make believe that their closeness was so much more.
But that's all it was: pretending. And that's all it was going to be. Jeff didn't like Nick; he knew that. Well… maybe. But that maybe meant that there was a chance –and a high one at that- Jeff didn't like him back. So, despite Nick's somewhat depressing adoration of the blonde, he would keep everything bottled up until he literally went crazy because of it.
A crush wasn't worth destroying their friendship over. After all, Nick couldn't think of anything worse than being rejected without a best friend to hug him and make it better. Yeah… no thank you. That would be completely and utterly awful. Besides… a day without Jeff? Nick would rather spend 100 years agonizing about what he and Jeff might have been than just 24 hours without him. So he'd stay quiet.
Even if Jeff walked around the room shirtless after his shower.
Even if Nick found their hands latched together constantly between classes.
Even if they went out every Friday night, no matter the date.
No… he wouldn't tell Jeff ever.
Nick was splayed down at the end of his bed, head thrown over the edge and hanging upside-down. His laptop was sitting upright on the floor, and his eyes were trained to the screen. He had been watching Rugrats for the past six hours. Anything to just stop… thinking for a moment. He was about to put on another episode when Trent burst into the room. The other boy's face was bright red and he seemed to be rather worked up about something.
"Dude, you have a phone call," he said a bit nervously, and –really- when was Trent one to be nervous? Nick immediately flipped up in bed. He tried to quell the fear seizing his heart and respond.
"Who's it from?" he asked, doing everything in his power to keep his head clear. Not something else. Nick couldn't take something else. Trent shifted from foot to foot, biting his lip, and Nick waited impatiently, his arms folded across his chest and fidgeting restlessly. Trent eventually ran a hand through his hair and cracked his fingers.
"Well, it's not really for you… It's kinda for all of us, but I didn't want to get Wes cause he can get so mad, and I figured that you would be the best person to go to cause you guys were sorta buddies last year and all, plus you're pretty good with people, but I don't quite know if you want to talk to him or have it be someone else or whatever cause-"
"Who is it from, Trent?" Nick questioned again, effectively cutting him off and maybe throwing him the tiniest little glare. He was worried; he couldn't help it. Trent scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.
"Kurt."
"Thank you so much, I can't even tell you how much I appreciate this," Kurt babbled as he dragged his chair in toward the table he had saved for the Warblers. They didn't look impressed. In fact, each boy was regarding him quite skeptically, and it took all of Kurt's will power not to get snippy at their expressions. He invited them here. This was coffee at the Lima Bean. Kurt could do this. He could do this. For Blaine.
"What else could you possibly want, Kurt?" Wes asked, eyes narrowed at him and his tone level. "What haven't we given yet?" Kurt pressed his lips together, fiddling with the cuffs of the button down he had folded over his sweater. This was already not turning out the way he had planned it, and he hadn't even said anything yet. Plus, Wes seemed to be out for the kill, each word shooting him like an arrow through the heart. He shifted uncomfortably.
"I want to apologize to you and… I wanna be given the chance to apologize to Blaine, too," he said, and he could feel the blush heating up his cheeks. "I figured this would be the better way to go about it," Kurt explained. Even the tips of his ears felt hot, and he had no doubt they were probably glowing red.
David and Wes were the only two sharing the table with him. He had thought that maybe Jeff and Nick would have come since Nick had been the one to field his call… He had been hoping Blaine would be there, but it was just the three of them. It was intimidating to be on the other side of the table from the two council members when they weren't furious with him, and the way both David and Wes were looking at him now? Crap, Kurt just wanted to hide underneath the table. He looked at his hands, trying to seem relaxed as he picked at the cardboard around his coffee cup.
"Could you please say something?" he murmured and watched a lightning fast glance between the two Warbler boys. They seemed to have communicated despite the briefness of the look, and all of a sudden, David was on him, words fast and hot.
"Okay. I think we're going to ignore the second half of that for the sake of all of our sanity because," he paused to laugh, "no. Not ever. At least not under our watch, and we'll just focus on the first half. Apologize to us? For what?" Kurt hung his head in shame. He didn't want to answer this question. Saying all this aloud… Well, if he didn't already feel like a crappy person…
"For… I don't know, for ignoring what it was doing to him… what I was doing to him…" he said slowly, his eyes fixing on an unfamiliar Navigator resting in the coffee shop's parking lot…. He was a moron… "For leaving you guys to pick up the pieces and for…" this time his breath hitched. Kurt hated the burning behind his eyes, knowing he was going to cry. "For letting you trust me and- and for letting him trust me and then… then ruining all that," he said, closing his eyes for the briefest second before opening them to David and Wes's disappointed faces.
"Okay, awesome," Wes said while standing up to leave, shrugging his coat over his shoulders and making to wrap his scarf around his neck, David doing the same. Kurt panicked. What? He hadn't gotten anywhere! They hadn't even forgiven him! He snagged Wes's arm as he headed for the door.
"Wait, that's it? Are we okay? Do I get to see Blaine?" he asked, and the other boy whipped around to look at him straight on.
"What? No. No. As far as I'm concerned, we will never be okay. Where the hell was your loyalty, Kurt? You just… You don't get it. We don't care about you anymore. We've got bigger problems to attend to, and I personally don't need to add you to that list. We Warblers don't like those who cause harm to our own, so we certainly don't like you. And as for Blaine? Yeah, again. I'm ignoring that part. You…" Wes trailed off, shaking his head and looking down at the floor. "You just don't get it," he finished and walked out the door.
David gave him a look, and Kurt smiled back weakly. "Trust is like a mirror. You can fix it if it's broke, but you can still see the crack in the freaking reflection," Kurt loosely quoted Lady Gaga. David offered him a shrug and followed after Wes, and Kurt watched as they drove away.
No… That hadn't gone the way he planned at all…
I was really tired, so I looked for "energizing music" on youtube, right? Um, the stuff is FREAKY but it WORKS. So… whatever… there you are. And like… dude. There's a crap load of music made to make you feel different things, and they all WORK. Like… I'm terrified now. What if someone controls my emotions like this? I would never know! I'd just be listening to music and BAM.
Also, sorry for the Niff. I honestly just can't help it.
Comments
Niff is adorable. And I feel sorry for my Kurtsie, but he KINDA got himself into this. And I miss Blaine ; - ; Please, update soon! Use your mindcontrolling music.
HAHA! That was actually really funny... Um, OKAY. I will. And thank you so much for this review. Like... it actually... it's like, short, but I think it's my favorite one for the entirety of this story. I don't know why... So thank you!
I adored the little bit of Niff. They are too adorable for words. I'm glad Kurt is finally seeing what harm he's done to Blaine but it's going to take a lot more than an apology to the Warblers and to Blaine himself if he wants to fix things.
EH! TWO REVIEWS NOT FROM A PERSONAL FRIEND! *Dies all over* You just contributed greatly to my self-esteem. I think you should go treat yourself to a piece of cake and then pretend like it's from me.Niff is my OTP, and I was really going to TRY to avoid it cause it's a Klaine, and I feel guilty mixing them together, but... NIFF. It's unavoidable. I love them to death.And yay Kurt! Go team!Thank you so, so much!