April 3, 2012, 1:42 p.m.
Delayed Regret: Chapter 10
T - Words: 2,415 - Last Updated: Apr 03, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 16/? - Created: Jan 29, 2012 - Updated: Apr 03, 2012 1,170 0 3 0 0
Ugh, I keep forgetting to mention this:
MCheekyBrunette -That's my twitter name, so let's ALL BE BEST FRIENDS! I'm sort of an addict, but I SWEAR I don't tweet a lot, just stalk Curt Mega and Riker Lynch and Dominic Barnes all freaking over the place… Anyway. PARTY!
This chapter… Grr. The first half is going to be torture to write/read cause the second half is so much more fun, but now typing that I realize it will deter you from reading this first part… For the record, it should have some oober cute Warbler stuff all over it, so… yes. Also, it'll clear up some emotional stuff before next chapter. SO I HOPE IT'S WORTH YOUR TIME!
David was exhausted. He liked to consider himself Wes's right hand man, but that job was growing bigger and bigger as the days went on, and he was starting to not enjoy it anymore. Their little Blaine-a-bee was a mess, which stressed Wes out, which stressed him out, and that in turn made literally every single other Warbler nothing but confused and worried. Unfortunately, Wes thought it was his duty to take care of all their glee-mates, which just made him more frazzled than before, creating a terrible vicious circle of sorts.
See, David didn't think it was his job to take care of all the other Warblers. He chose to believe that they could work things out on their own, despite Wes's mama bear status. However, David knew that it was his job to take care of Wes, and that was getting to be more impossible as the council member grew more and more concerned.
So –yes- he was tired. And Wes was tired. And Blaine was tired. Nick, Jeff, Thad, Trent: all tired. He could tell by the way their shoulders slumped a bit in the hallway, and David hated how easily destructed they were. Things had fallen apart so quickly… Well, maybe not so quickly. Blaine had been deteriorating for a while beforehand; David had seen. But Wes was fast to crumble, bringing the rest of the Warbler's with him- not that he was to blame. No, Kurt was to blame, and David hated him for it…
But as much as David despised the little liar at the moment, he couldn't really show it. Wes was doing enough being angry for the both of them. Someone had to keep their cool, and while it was draining, David didn't mind it being him. He knew it had to be him. He tended to be the only one the other council member would listen to whenever he got worked up, like he had at the beginning of the week…
David had hated seeing Wes yell at Blaine. The only thing he could compare it to would be watching your wife yell at your son. Like, Wes was his best friend, while Blaine was his baby. When the short little guy first got to Dalton, he was so… lost. And with Wes being the protective mom he was, and him being an admittedly too sympathetic kind of guy, it was natural that they immediately took him under their wing. Seeing Wes get mad at Blaine… it had drawn out everything David remembered seeing in him those first couple weeks. Well, that combined with everything else that had been going down. Blaine was in a bad place, and Wes wasn't helping.
Well, now he was. David was catching him comforting Blaine all over the place.
For example, every morning when he went into their shared room –it had grown to be a habit after too many lost pieces of sheet music and last minute questions about upcoming classes- he caught Wes squeezed into Blaine's bed. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Wes was helping him sleep at night; David knew people. He understood.
David also saw him taking care of Blaine randomly all over the building. One time he found the two practically snuggling on a couch in the student commons; another time, he saw the two dart into a supply closet between classes… If David didn't know better, he'd say they were turning into a really lusty slash pairing, what with that combined with how much time they had been spending together in their dorm.
Plus, Wes was following Blaine around constantly. There wasn't a period where he didn't shoot out of class to meet their little guy outside the door of his own. Not to mention the way he was constantly finding his eyes during Warbler meetings and sitting next to him at lunch… honestly, it was getting to the point where the other guys naturally left two seats next to each other for them. Well, two sets of two seats. There was also no separating Nick and Jeff…
Speaking of Nick and Jeff, David was starting to rethink the possibility of there being a Niff in the near future. Everyone knew they were joined at the freaking hip, but no one knew their sexuality… Neither had really ever gotten with a Crawford girl at one of their infamous parties, but they weren't making out with other guys either. Not that it mattered or anything; it's just the whole situation seemed to be pushing them farther and farther into their own little world where they only needed each other to be comforted… David knew Nick needed Jeff; he just wondered how much and if Jeff needed him back…
And you know what? While he was on the subject of other Warblers: Trent. TRENT. The kid had always been kind of squeamish in that awkward yet somehow adorable way of his, despite his natural blatant-ness and diva status, but lately he just appeared to have no idea what he was doing. It was obvious he wanted to help, but didn't exactly know how… David vowed to let him know he was later… Trent had been awesome by tackling Kurt the other night. David could hug him for that.
Thad also seemed pretty confused. He was the only council member who didn't have a true inside scoop on the situation due to his big mouth and his not-so-close relationship with Blaine, and it was plain to see that he felt kind of put out, naturally. David also decided to give him some updates the second he got a chance…
He was basically thankful for all the Warblers at the moment, personal relationships aside. Things were rough, and David could see they cared by the way it was affecting them. Their worry made his heart swell a little bit because, hey, there was goodness and love in the world.
Now, Blaine just had to see that…
Sam wasn't exactly sure when he started pulling Kurt into supply closets to kiss him senseless; all he knew was that he really liked it. Admittedly, he had no problem being Kurt's thing on the side, especially since he won in the end, but lately… Lately Sam was starting to feel a little bit awkward about the whole thing. Like…
Okay.
Sam may have been a little preoccupied staring at Kurt's addictive, gorgeous face to pay attention to literally anyone else when they were unofficially together, but Sam did notice Blaine. He had been the competition; he had been someone to beat. Naturally, Sam had been keeping tabs on him. He had to make sure that he was always one step above the little hobbit, always worth having around. Admittedly, he was somewhat happy when he realized Blaine was a skinny little mess compared to him, but now Sam was guilty. So, so guilty…
They were lying on the couch in the Hummel's living room, kissing like usual, but Kurt's lips were still beneath his. Crap. Crap, crap, freaking crap. Why wasn't Kurt kissing back? Sam hadn't had a hot dog or missed a workout since they had started this whole thing. Why would he not kiss back? Wasn't he muscular enough? Wasn't he thin enough? Wasn't he handsome enough? Really Kurt? What the heck?
And that's why Sam felt guilty. The blond knew that Blaine had known about him and Kurt; he could tell by the sad yet angry way he looked at him. Everyone had. He also knew that Kurt was a very –shall we say- charismatic individual and how easy it was to crave his approval. Right now, Kurt merely wasn't kissing him back, and he was freaking out: questioning himself. Sam didn't even want to think about how he'd feel if Kurt ever cheated on him.
Crap, what if he was cheating on him? Sam's self-esteem was already pretty much nonexistent; he didn't think he'd be able to handle it if Kurt would… would pick someone else. He was supposed to be the one he chose! Oh, gosh, he was probably screwing Dave Karofsky behind his back or something. Crap, that was totally it! How could he be in love with someone else? Was it all the making out? Sam knew he wanted them to do more couple-y things, but gosh… he couldn't help but get his mack on when Kurt was near.
He was going to leave him –shoot- he was going to leavehim, dang it. He was bored with him, and now he was probably stealing away with Dave under the bleachers, giggling about how he didn't know…
Sam pulled away from Kurt, rolling away and sitting on the floor, back against the couch, trying to will away the tears pooling in his eyes. "Kurt-Kurt… I'm sorry, I don't think I can… Kurt, I'm already messed up, I don't think I can handle if you- if you…" Kurt sat up on his elbows, hair ruffled from Sam's hands running through it and one brow quirked.
"If I what?" he asked, and Sam didn't exactly know how to answer… Well, he did; he just didn't want to voice it. Kurt… What if it was true? What if Kurt preferred someone else? Sam was pretty sure that it would feel better not knowing than being certain he was choosing someone else. He was supposed to be the hot one he chose. Him. Who could be more attractive?
"If- If you were- were cheating on me," he gagged, pulling his knees close to his chest and feeling a bit more vulnerable than he would admit to. Kurt was kind of his first guy, and he was really sick of being cheated on. He was so tired of being the one not wanted… He wanted to be the one people switched to for a change. Kurt grabbed his hand.
"Do you really think that I would cheat on you?" Kurt asked, looking a little sheepish, and Sam let his gaze fall to his toes, nodding. Kurt's fingers tightened around his own. "Why would you think that?" he asked. Sam struggled not to throw up on the carpet.
"Well, you did it with Blaine… and you guys were Klaine and everything, and he like… did all that stuff for you, and Finn keeps ragging on me because I don't do those special things Blaine did on dates and stuff, and you guys were supposed to be in love or whatever, and we just kind of make out and crap, and I mean, that could get boring or whatever, especially when you might have found someone better looking or whatever," he rambled, unable to stop himself even for a breath; he was so nervous, "and Kurt, I don't think I could handle it if you did, cause I try so hard for you and everyone, and Blaine seemed more confident than me and everything, and he, like, practically had an eating disorder when he left, so I don't think I-"
"Okay, Sam, stop," Kurt cut him off, and Sam locked eyes with him, his stomach twisting in knots. "First, I'm not cheating on you. Despite my past actions, I'm really not that type of person. I liked you, but I wasn't ready to let Blaine go… But I picked you for a reason. Second, what are you even talking about?" he asked, and Sam couldn't help but squirm.
"I, like… I can't take any more self-loathing, Kurt," he explained. Sam hated this. Despite being ridiculously close to Kurt physically, they never actually talked. This felt weird and… scary. He didn't really like sharing himself with other people on this level. Every time he got close, people would leave… Admittedly, Sam wasn't too scared about Kurt leaving –he just didn't want him to cheat- but it still felt terrifying. "I don't think my brain could handle it if you were to pick someone else. Every time it happens, I feel worse about myself, and seeing the hell you put Blaine through… I can't handle that, Kurt. I just can't." Sam bit his bottom lip, taking in Kurt's fearful expression.
"What kind of hell are you talking about? I mean, I just cheated," he yelped, and Sam was confused at how exasperated he sounded.
"I mean, just what you would be putting me through, Kurt. Like… wait." Sam paused, tilting his head a bit as he took in the totally lost expression on Kurt's face. He didn't know. He honestly didn't know what he did to Blaine and what was potentially doing to him, and… Are you kidding? Really? Sam stood up, snatching his coat from the arm of the couch and shrugging it over his shoulders. "Kay, not to be girly or gay, but if you don't know, then never mind," he said, marching out the door and ignoring Kurt's protests echoing behind him.
Sam stomped through the snow covering the ground, more because of how angry he was versus how deep the snow was. Kurt didn't care. Kurt didn't care about him or his feelings; he didn't care about Blaine or his feelings… Why did he start this? How could he be so dumb? He put someone else through the same thing he feared, and that wasn't okay…
And why did he get with Kurt in the first place? He wanted to be loved, not used, and right now he felt pretty used…
Why did things have to be so messed up?
Yay! I have so much homework to do, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to put all of it off forever… I hate homework. I feel creative, and it won't allow that right now. Hmmm… I think I'll do civics and do my English outline tonight and write my paper and do my chem tomorrow. SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN! Hold me to that…
I'm rather excited about chapters to come…
Also, I apologize for any typos. I've been a lazy editor lately... I just don't caaaaaaareee...
Comments
31 chapters of this story would be amazing! I really can't wait to see how this pans out because everyone is hurting right now.
D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaw! Thank you! I'm so glad you like it! I feel all warm and tingly...
Like I promised, I am reviewing. In case you're wondering, I did not forget. This was just the time that I scheduled to do this. I'm not sure if they're going to be as long as normal, but... Just to let you know, it's two chapters after they basically destroyed Kurt's car. Now on to the review. I absolutely love how you write the Warblers! Wes and his "mama bear status" is a nice touch, but I love even more that Divid is supposed to take care of Wes. It is just perfect that David is the one to be more calm, despite his anger, because whenever you see him in the show he just seems so together. The way that David and Wes try to take care of Blaine is so sweet! And yes. The possibility of there being a Niff in the near future is exciting, and I can't wait for it to happen. I really do find it helpful how you kind of had a little blurb on the important warblers just to give a little personality to them! Okay, so Sam now. I'm a bit unsure of how I feel about him. Honestly, I don't particularly like him in this fic. (I mean, the way you write him is wonderful, of course, but it's just the fact that he's the reason for all the Blaingst and Klaine breaking up.) I'm actually liking the part that he feels guilty about what he did, because, I mean, he should! Also, I'm appreciating this whole, Kurt not being into him thing. I do feel a bit bad for Sam because of the fact that his self esteem his nonexistent. It is frustrating thought that even Sam realized just how much Blaine had suffered when Kurt is just so blind to it. Thumbs up for Sam leaving Kurt! But I do feel kind of bad for both of them now. I mean, Sam felt used, but now Kurt has no one. Absolutely no one. And Kurt will always be someone that I love, because there is no alternate universe in which I do not adore Kurt. The writing was great, as always!