~*~*~*~

Kurt chuckled softly as he sipped on his coffee as he and Blaine walked down the street. It was the weekend and Blaine had come all the way from Dalton to see how Kurt was doing after their first meeting back in at the prep school. Kurt just smiled a bit and shrugged to him.

"It's not too bad... I mean... Karofsky's still there but I tend to just... find ways of avoiding him. I mean I tried to stick up for myself but it just pissed him off. So I figure it's best if I just keep my distance as best as I can," Kurt let out, keeping what was really a fake smile over his face as they talked.

Kurt was terrified of Karofsky truth be told and he avoided the other like the plague. Any time he saw him he went the other way, no matter where he'd been going. He'd been late for three classes and a Glee practice because of it and twice he'd gone to class without his books. His teachers were starting to get upset but Kurt didn't know what else to do.

Blaine looked at him and nodded, smiling a bit weakly to the other as he sighed, "well... I suppose it was worth a shot right? It'll get better... I'm sure it will. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm just a call or a text away... alright?" he said calmly, eying the other boy who's smiles were too big and didn't quite reach his eyes... he could tell the other was just trying to seem tough and it kind of hurt that Kurt wasn't comfortable telling him how much the bullying was still bothering him.

"Ya... you're right..." Kurt said as he nodded to the other, taking a sip of his coffee, desperate to get off this subject and to something else. His eyes scanned the area, hoping to find something that would help him. He'd spent the entire morning staring at himself in the mirror and practicing his smiles and trying to look as convincing as possible... Karofsky had already told him what would happen if anyone found out so he needed to keep people from asking questions.

Truth be told he still couldn't get the day it happened out of his head... the kisses and the touches... the feeling of the other males lips on his neck... the others knee between his legs. He was terrified but at the same time... part of him had gotten a thrill from it all. Someone wanting to touch him in that way... No one had ever wanted to touch him like that before...

Unfortunately, the threat was that had escaped the others lips was still so vivid in his mind that he felt bile rise in his throat every time he thought about it. He honestly felt like Dave was actually capable of that kind of cruelty... That kind of sick perversion. The idea sent a shiver of ice through his body.

After Karofsky had left that day Kurt had slipped to the showers and washed himself off, scrubbing harshly at his neck and brushing his teeth for ten minutes after grabbing his toiletries from his locker. He'd managed to look decently put together by the time he was done, a little makeup, a new set of clothes and a scarf to hide the bruises on his neck. He'd also put a few eye drops in in hopes that they'd help with the redness.

It must have been enough because no one, not even his friends, seemed to have noticed that there was something wrong with him. He finished his classes, with only a warning from his second class teacher for being a half hour late. He'd gone through Glee even and no one saw anything wrong with him.

Part of him was honestly put off a bit... part of him wanted someone to notice... wanted someone to take him aside and force him to tell them what had happened... wanted someone to save him from Karofsky and the others unwanted advances. He wanted someone to tell him everything was going to be alright and to make the confusion and the fear and the disgust with himself go away.

"Kurt... KURT!" came Blaine's voice suddenly, pulling the smaller boy out of his 'daymare'. Kurt shivered a bit before looking to the other and nipping his bottom lip, "s... sorry..." he let out, shaking his head a bit, "what were you saying?" he asked, feeling like an idiot for letting himself zone out like that.

"You alright? You were totally not here... where were you?" Blaine asked as he looked Kurt over, "I was asking you if you wanted to go and sit on a bench in the park to finish our coffees," he added after a moment. There was something strangely off about the other boy and the zoning out hadn't helped that feeling of uneasiness he was getting from the other.

"Sure... we can go sit," Kurt said, plastering on his fake smile as he moved towards the park, "And... I'm fine Blaine... Just a little tired truth be told. I didn't sleep well last night. This crow was squawking outside my window half the night for some ridiculous reason and I couldn't get rid of it," Kurt lied, just wanting the other to drop the subject as he forced a bit of a chuckle, "In the end I had to throw a shoe out the window at it... missed but it scared it off for good."

"I see..." Blaine let out, lifting an eyebrow and clearly not believing the other as he sighed softly. He said nothing more on it, however, not wanting to push the other boy away. He knew there was something going through the others head, something bothering him, but if Kurt didn't want to talk about it pushing him just wasn't going to help anything.

The two of them were soon sitting in the park, sipping their coffee and relaxing. Kurt looked to Blaine and gave the other a bit of a smile, a genuine one truth be told. He was glad the other wasn't pushing him to tell him the truth. He could tell the other didn't believe him and he knew he'd have to work on that but he was glad that, for now, Blaine wasn't going to try and force the issue.

Kurt really did like Blaine. Blaine was gorgeous, sweet, generous... he cared and that was something that Kurt longed for in his life... from someone like Blaine. He loved his friends and family but it hurt to feel alone all the time... to be the only one he knew that was like him... like the last of a species just waiting to die out. But he wasn't alone anymore... the problem was, he wasn't even sure if Blaine was interested in him. He wasn't even sure what to do to try and figure out if the other was or not without making himself look stupid or needy.

Blaine looked back at Kurt and smiled in return, glad the other seemed to be relaxing some. He gave the other a little bit of a nod before he relaxed himself, staring up into the sky as he let out a contented sigh, "Lima's not a bad place. It's nice and quiet... I mean... Westerville isn't a big city by any standards but it's still busier then Lima is. Must have been a pretty nice place to grow up."

Kurt chuckled softly at the others attempt at making conversation as he shrugged a bit, "I guess... It's a bit boring sometimes and extremely prejudice. It's like the people here are living back in the nineteen fifties where being different was almost a death sentence..." he murmured out, frowning a bit.

"Hey... stop thinking about stuff like that..." Blaine frowned back as he looked to Kurt, "You need to look at the bright side of things. You've got an amazing family, good friends, talent coming out your ears, amazing fashion sense and the looks to go with it all," he said, smiling warmly to the other boy, his hand on the others cheek as he said this though he pulled it away soon after he'd finished speaking.

Kurt's cheeks were almost burning at the others touch and the compliments and he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out as the other pulled away from him. He sighed softly at this point as he turned to look back out at the people playing in the park. Blaine thought he was good looking... that had to be a good thing right? He also thought he was talented and fashionable. Why... why did Blaine have to be so damn perfect?

~*~*~*~

Kurt and Blaine finally parted ways later on that day after having lunch at a fast-food restaurant, though in the end both of them got themselves salads. Kurt would have suggested going to Breadsticks but he felt like that was just too much of a date place and figured it would feel a little awkward since the two of them didn't know each other very well. He didn't want to scare Blaine off after all...

It was Monday now and the morning went by fairly quietly, Kurt avoiding Karofsky when he spotted him in the hallway. He actually slipped into a janitor's closet at one point, knocking over a broom and a mop in the process, sure someone had probably heard it but no one came to investigate thankfully. He felt stupid hiding from the jock all the time but Karofsky's threats left the smaller boy almost crippled with fear when the saw the other... almost.

Finally it was lunch time and Kurt sat down with Mercedes who looked at him with a bitter smile. Sue... principle Sue... had gone and banned Mercedes favorite cafeteria food... tater tots. Kurt didn't much care for them himself... he liked to try and eat healthy and those things were far from healthy. He wouldn't admit it to Mercedes but he had to agree with Sue on this one. Tater tots weren't healthy and getting them off the menu was a good idea as far as he was concerned. With the amount of unhealthy food Mercedes ate all the time he kind of worried about her.

"Oh... come on... it's not that bad. There are plenty of other foods in the cafeteria that taste just as good and have half the calories. Those things will kill you from the inside..." he said with a nod to her and a bit of a smile, earning a calm sheepish smile from Mercedes in return.

"That's better..." he said as Mercedes chuckled softly, "anyway... how was your 'date' with Blaine this weekend?" she asked, smirking a bit. She knew Kurt liked the guy, even if he denied it. She also knew Kurt was lonely and as much as she didn't like the idea of Kurt with a guy from an opposing team... she'd rather him be happy dating the enemy then unhappy being alone.

"I already told you... we're just friends... Mum's the word... don't tell anyone, alright?" Kurt said, looking to her with pleading eyes, picking at his salad a bit though he hadn't taken a bite yet. He didn't want the rest of the New Directions knowing about Blaine because he knew that they'd instantly start reaming him out for hanging around with their competition.

"I'd be happy for you, you know... We all know how lonely you've been..." she piped up as she ate. Sometimes she worried about the skinny fashionista and lately was even worse. She'd seen Kurt all but bolt down another hallway when he spotted Karofsky earlier that day and she wanted to do something but she knew if she brought it up Kurt would just get upset.

"We just hang out... alright? Nothing about the Glee clubs even comes up. It's just nice to have someone to talk to, that's all," Kurt said, regretting the words after they came out of his mouth. God that sounded mean. He didn't mean for it to come out that way.

"What in the world is that supposed to mean?" Mercedes asked, pausing in taking another bite of food to speak. She looked almost hurt for a second and Kurt just sighed and rolled his eyes at her.

"I didn't mean it that way... I mean someone like me... Someone who's been through the same kinds of things I've been going through. He's got a lot of decent advice," Kurt explained before taking a bite of salad. He couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine, however, when he thought about the fact that the biggest bit of advice the other had given him hadn't worked out so well... of course, he couldn't... wouldn't... blame Blaine for what happened.

"And I don't? You barely ever talk to me about what's going on with you anymore... but you'll go and talk to a guy you only met a week ago?" she murmured and Kurt just sighed softly, shaking his head a bit and closing his eyes for a moment.

"I... Mercedes you know it isn't the same with you... you don't understand what it's like to be me... he does. It's not that I don't appreciate your advice and stuff. I do... I just... Blaine's been there... he has experience," Kurt said with a bit of a shrug, "I know that my budding friendship with Blaine makes you feel threatened Mercedes... But I really do cherish your friendship... and I always will until the day you finally get sick and tired of me..."

"And I know that I've broken off a few of our plans and stuff and I'm sorry... I never meant to hurt you... So... to make it up to you I set you up on a date with Anthony Feshad. You, me, Blaine and Anthony... Friday at Breadsticks? Alright?" Kurt said, smiling brightly to the other.

Mercedes glanced over to the side where she knew Anthony always sat. She met the boy's eyes and smiled just a bit, giving a wave before quickly looking to Kurt, "why him?" she asked. As cute as Anthony was she kind of felt like Kurt had chosen him solely from a racial standpoint.

"I don't know..." Kurt let out, his eyes on Anthony for a moment before he looked back to Mercedes. Anthony was cute for a straight guy but Kurt wasn't actually interested in him. He also knew that Anthony was at least a bit interested in Mercedes... he'd seen the boy glance over to her in a few classes.

"So it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he's one of the only five black guys in McKinley high?" Mercedes asked, lifting an eyebrow as she looked at the blue eyed boy who just blinked at her, feeling a little awkward.

"I... no... He's a wide receiver on the football team, he's gorgeous, and he's a member of the black student union..." Kurt pointed out though suddenly he felt a little stupid. Yes, he'd checked out the black students first and found Anthony and had decided he was perfect so he hadn't bothered to look up any of the 'white boys'.

"Ugh... any non black activities, Kurt?" Mercedes asked, rolling her eyes at him. She was flattered that Kurt was trying to help her but clearly he hadn't thought this threw very well. He made her feel inferior, like she shouldn't be interested in white guys or something.

"I... uhh... I'm not entirely sure. My web search was a little..." Kurt said, still feeling stupid now and wishing he'd never even attempted to set Mercedes up with a guy. He just wanted her to be happy. And he figured a double date might be nice... of course it would have to be more of a friendship thing because he and Blaine weren't really together but he hadn't exactly thought that far ahead yet.

Kurt wouldn't meet Mercedes eyes at this point, leaving his food mostly untouched as he slipped his hands under the table finally, letting the fingers of one hand trace the almost completely healed injury on his hand. Now that it was almost fully healed he'd stopped wearing the gloves and just said he'd cut himself while cutting vegetables over the weekend. It still hurt a tiny bit but it wasn't quite enough. He'd avoided re-injuring his hand as he knew he really did need it and as much as the pain from his bruises didn't match the pain from his hand he had to let it heal before people started asking questions.

"I can't take this anymore," Mercedes said suddenly as she pulled the pad of paper she'd brought with her from under her tray and pulled out a marker from her purse as she began to write something on it.

"Trust me Mercedes... Love is just around the corner... you need to give Anthony a chance," he said but was stopped when Mercedes looked up at him and shook her head, "That's not what I was talking about," she said, just as someone rounded the table from behind Kurt.

Kurt visibly froze for a moment before forcing his body to relax as he spotted Karofsky. Kurt looked up at the other and the smug look on the others face made Kurt's stomach churn with uneasiness. Kurt felt a cold shiver run up his back as he pressed his thumb harshly into the palm of his injured hand, the slight pain not enough to pull him away from the memories of the locker room or the fear that ran through every vein in his body. He wanted to puke...

"What's up homo," Karofsky let out with a smirk as he looked Kurt over with barely hidden lust though it was unlikely anyone else would notice that. The wink the other gave him before he walked off was the tip of the iceburg and Kurt had to dig his nails into his hand to keep himself grounded and fight back the tears that threatened to escape.

Mercedes, however, was clearly too focused on her writing to even realize Karofsky had just been there. Before Kurt knew it Mercedes was standing on the table with a great big sigh that said 'TOTS' and the brunette just wanted to walk away right then and there... get himself into the washroom and expel all the disgusting emotions and fears from his body.

"Oh my god..." Kurt let out as students began to shout 'tots' at the top of their lungs. He looked to Mercedes for a moment before he shook his head, slipping out of his chair and out of the lunchroom before things got worse... Leaving Mercedes to her 'tot war'.

~*~*~*~

Kurt pushed through the door to the nearest washroom, the boys washroom next to the cafeteria doors, and headed straight for the last stall. He slipped in, not even bothering to lock the door before he dropped to his knees over the toilet and heaved. He out all the pent up emotions along with everything he'd eaten today, which wasn't much truth be told.

After a while all he was bringing up was bile as he let the tears slip down his cheeks as he trembled. He was so shaken that he didn't even let the thought of brushing his teeth slip into his head even though he'd just thrown up five or six times... and that wasn't like Kurt.

"Geez... if you were a girl I'd be asking you if you were pregnant or something. Over emotional and puking like that..." came a voice suddenly and Kurt tensed, not even having heard anyone come into the washroom. He quickly reached up and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe his mouth before turning to see Puck standing in front of the open stall door.

"What the heck's wrong with you anyway? Did your boyfriend break up with you or something?" the other asked, almost having the urge to say something along the lines of 'oh that's right... you don't have one' but kept from saying it. Damn, Glee club really was getting under his skin if he couldn't even pick on Kurt anymore.

"Nothing's wrong... I'm just not feeling well if you must know," Kurt piped up, forcing a glare for the other as he stood up, brushing past the Mohawk boy and tossing out the toilet paper before moving to wash his face and rid it of the telltale signs of his crying.

"I might not have the best marks, but I'm not stupid, Princess..." Puck let out, rolling his eyes at the other, "Karofsky again?" he asked with a bit of a sigh, "or Azimio this time maybe?" he added after a moment. He knew the two were going at the scrawny kid but for the most part Puck left it alone... he didn't need to be on the wrong side of his football teammates.

"I'm fine..." Kurt let out, "what do you care anyway? Not even a year ago... you were doing the same damn thing, Noah Puckerman... So why don't you just mind your own business and stay out of my life!" Kurt snapped out finally, frustrated with everything... his conflicting emotions and the fear and everything. Why did everything have to be so confusing.

Kurt almost felt like he was two people... The Kurt who loved life, wanted to be a star and wanted friends and a boyfriend that loved him. The Kurt who would never even think of hurting himself and wanted desperately for someone to save him from what he'd become... then there was the other Kurt who hated his life and felt inferior... who kept pushing his friends away and pushing Blaine away... the Kurt that needed pain in order to function and just wanted to be left alone to deal with his own problems...

Puck watched the other for a few seconds, not sure what to say to Kurt. He'd kind of thought they'd gotten over the whole bullying thing from last year. He was sure he'd apologized at some point... or maybe he hadn't? He couldn't really remember... Well he certainly wasn't going to now anyway... Here he was trying to be nice to the kid for once and Kurt just blows up on him for being nice?

"Whatever... fuck you then... Here I am trying to be nice for once and suddenly I'm a monster for asking you how you're doing? Fine... I get the point. You can deal with your fucking issues on your own... I'm out of here..." Puck all but growled as he turned, all but slamming the door open and closed as he left Kurt alone in the boys washroom again.

Kurt didn't even watch the other go, having slipped back into the corner of the last stall, knees to his chest as he began to sob again. His whole body trembled as he pressed his face to his knees, hugging them tightly as he just let the tears fall... He didn't want this... he wanted everything to go back to the way they were before Karofsky... before the kiss...

"Someone help me... please..." Kurt whispered out to the empty bathroom after a while, knowing no one would hear his plea.

~*~*~*~