Aug. 2, 2016, 7 p.m.
All the Things I Didn't Say: Chapter 11
T - Words: 2,028 - Last Updated: Aug 02, 2016 Story: Complete - Chapters: 14/14 - Created: Aug 02, 2016 - Updated: Aug 02, 2016 222 0 0 0 1
Hey guys! Sorry this is a little on the shorter side, but I wanted to give you something after not posting for a while. Enjoy!
Blaine woke up with his head pounding against his skull. He groaned, pushing the bottom of his palms into his forehead in hopes of relief. It didn’t do much. He sighed and opened his eyes, the smell of pancakes filling his nose. He was confused for a second but then he took a minute to gather his memories.
Kurt slept over the night before. Though he wished the thought brought him some semblance of happiness- it just brought him sadness and guilt. Kurt wasn’t here because he wants to be here. Kurt was just unfortunate enough to be the one who had to take him home last night because he was an idiot and let a random guy get him drunk.
Blaine took a deep breath, letting the air fill his lungs and he swung his legs over his bed and got up. He walked out of his bedroom and into the kitchen, where Kurt was working furiously at his stove. “You didn’t have to make me breakfast,” Blaine said upon arrival.
Kurt jumped at his words a little, almost burning himself in the process. Kurt put the spatula he was holding down on the counter and turned off the stove. “I didn’t hear you come in,” he said and turned to Blaine.
“Sorry,” Blaine shrugged, shuffling to one of the chairs at the kitchen table and sitting down.
“It’s okay,” Kurt smiled. “You know I love to cook.”
Blaine smiled back. “I know.”
“How’s your head?” Kurt asked, nodding to him.
“It feels like there’s a little person inside of me constantly punching my head,” Blaine answered, rubbing his temples.
“I figured as much,” Kurt said, then walked to the fridge and got out a water bottle, handing it to Blaine. Blaine hadn’t noticed at first, but there was already a bottle of advil on the counter. Kurt grabbed that too and handed it to him. “Take two of those and hopefully you’ll feel better.”
“Thank you, Kurt. You didn’t have to do this for me,” Blaine couldn’t help the fond look that was growing on his face. Kurt was here, and Blaine was in love with him, and he was never very good at hiding it.
“I told you last night, I’m being selfish. I want to help you,” Kurt said sincerely.
“There is not a selfish bone in your body, Kurt Hummel,” Blaine said before attempting to open the bottle of advil that Kurt gave him. Unfortunately, his right arm was still casted and it made it a little difficult. “Can you, uh…?”
“Yeah,” he chuckled a little and opened both the bottle of advil and bottle of water for Blaine. He awkwardly took Blaine’s free hand and placed the capsules in it. Blaine refrained from shivering at the contact. Blaine popped the pills in his mouth and washed them down with his water.
“Do you want me to make you some coffee?” Kurt asked, turning back to the stove. “These pancakes are finished.”
“I would like some coffee, actually. Thank you,” Blaine replied. He wanted to help Kurt or do something but he knew he wouldn’t be of much help if he tried.
“As you wish,” Kurt said while scooping up some pancakes and putting them on a plate before giving them to Blaine.
Blaine grinned at him. “Did you just quote The Princess Bride?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kurt deadpanned, though Blaine could see a tint of a smile on Kurt’s face right before he spun around to Blaine’s Keurig machine.
“I thought you hated that movie,” Blaine pointed out, taking a bite of his pancakes.
“Only because you insisted on watching it every single day.”
“I did not!”
“You’re right,” Kurt said, placing a cup of coffee in front of Blaine. “You insisted on watching it every four hours. While drooling over Westley right in front of me!”
“I can’t help it. He was one of my very first crushes,” Blaine argued, laughing “He’s so pretty.”
“Well, you were supposed to think I was prettier,” Kurt teased, bringing his own plate of pancakes and cup of coffee to the table.
“Oh, I do,” Blaine assured him. Kurt’s cheeks seemed to turn pink, and Blaine couldn’t help but feel a little smug that he did that.
That’s when he realized that they were flirting. Kurt was flirting with him. Kurt probably didn’t even realize he was doing it, but Blaine did and Blaine never thought in a million years that he would ever get Kurt back to this point. It made him ecstatic.
“So,” Kurt cleared his throat. “I think we should talk about last night.”
Well, that ruined Blaine’s mood in a split second. He had hoped Kurt would continue with the banter and avoid any serious conversations for a while, but it seems Kurt Hummel was incapable of that lately.
“Can we just… eat first, please?” Blaine asked, not wanting to have a discussion at the moment.
“I guess,” Kurt shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee.
They ate their food in silence and once they were both done, Kurt stood up and took their dishes to the sink. He quickly washed and dried them, putting the dishes back where they belonged.
“Thanks, again,” Blaine said when Kurt returned to his seat.
“It’s not that big of a deal,” Kurt said. “Now, onto that talk. I’ll just cut to the chase. Why did you drink so much last night?”
“I didn’t drink that much,” Blaine countered.
“Don’t get defensive,” Kurt said pointedly. “Even in your 18 year old brain, you know your limits. You also know that alcohol has gotten you in trouble before, so why did you drink at all knowing you lost your memories because of it?”
“Some guy offered to buy me a drink,” Blaine admitted. “And it felt rude of me to turn him down. And he was hitting on me...and I was feeling a little lonely…”
“Blaine!” Kurt scolded. “Why would you drink with him? He could have roofied you! You know better than this.”
“I’m not an idiot, Kurt. I didn’t let him touch my drink,” Blaine assured him. “And it doesn’t matter. I didn’t give into his flirtations.”
“You still could have gotten hurt,” Kurt said seriously. Then added, “again.”
“But I didn’t. I appreciate your concern, Kurt. But I don’t know where it’s coming from. Or why you care at all if you haven’t been around in three years,” Blaine didn’t want to say it, but it’s been weighing on him since it all started. Why was Kurt here if he claimed he didn’t want to be with Blaine anymore?
“Don’t make this about me,” Kurt warned.
“It is about you though, Kurt!” Blaine exclaimed. “The only reason I touched the alcohol in the first place is because I wanted to stop thinking about you! And even that didn’t work. I’m kind of pathetic, aren’t I? No matter how much I’ve tried to convince myself that I need to get over you, that you don’t want me anymore- I just can’t bring myself to do it. So, tell me Kurt, why are you here?”
“You’re still my friend, Blaine. I’m allowed to take care of my friend,” Kurt’s answer didn’t seem completely truthful, and Blaine noticed Kurt’s eyes starting to get wet.
“We were never really friends though, were we?” Blaine asked, making Kurt look up, surprised. “Even before we started dating...there was always something between us, even if I was a little late to realize it. We don’t know how to be friends. And if I’m going to be completely honest here, I don’t want to be friends with you. I don’t want to be just friends with the person I’m in love with.”
“You’re not in love with me,” Kurt said quietly. “You just think you are.”
“I know I am,” Blaine argued. “If I had all my memories back right now, I still would be. Did my mom tell you why Dave and I broke up?”
Kurt stared at him for a moment. “She told me that you broke up because you told Dave that you still love me.”
“Is that not good enough for you? Is that not enough proof?” Blaine asked. He knew he was pushing Kurt, but he couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to explode if Kurt didn’t give him answers.
“I think I should leave,” Kurt stood up from his chair. Blaine noticed for the first time that Kurt was already back in his outfit from the night before and he must have found Blaine’s hamper because his pajamas were nowhere in sight.
Kurt started walking towards the door. Blaine sat there for a moment because he didn’t expect Kurt to leave, but then he quickly stood up and followed him. “Kurt, wait!” Kurt already had his hand on Blaine’s door but Blaine reached for his wrist.
Kurt spun around and all the sudden their was a fire in Kurt’s eyes that Blaine hadn’t seen in a very long time. Kurt stared into Blaine’s eyes for a moment, then his gaze flickered down to his lips. It lasted about two seconds before Kurt closed the distance between them, pulling Blaine towards him and attaching his lips to his.
Blaine gasped against Kurt, this was the last thing Blaine expected to happen today. Kurt was sucking on Blaine’s lower lip with such urgency that Blaine was sure his lip was going to swell, but he didn’t care. Kurt pushed his tongue past Blaine’s lips and started pushing Blaine towards his couch.
Blaine fell on top of the couch, bringing Kurt down with him and soon Kurt detached his lips from Blaine’s and started pressing his lips to Blaine’s neck, causing his whole body to shake.
He was on fire and all he wanted was Kurt. He fumbled with Kurt’s jacket unsuccessfully. That’s when Kurt took his lips off Blaine’s neck and got off of him completely, earning a whine from Blaine.
“This is a bad idea,” Kurt said, straightening out his jacket.
“It’s a pretty good bad idea,” Blaine countered, a little breathless. He moved so he was sitting on the couch instead of lying on it.
“I see you’ve brushed up on your musicals,” Kurt pointed out.
“I did,” Blaine confirmed. He was really grateful that he was still wearing pajama pants right now as opposed to jeans, or else he would be in a really painful situation.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry,” Kurt said, and then turned to leave.
“Kurt,” Blaine pleaded. “Don’t leave. You’re the one who wanted to talk. Let’s talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. That was a mistake. I’m really sorry, Blaine. I have to leave. My callbacks are tomorrow. I need to rehearse,” Kurt didn’t look at him again as he walked out Blaine’s front door.
Blaine’s skin was still tingling from Kurt’s touch, but all of the sudden, his headache was back again. He felt like he had just been slapped in the face. What even was that? Kurt was the one who kissed him, Kurt was the one who pushed him onto the couch. Now all the sudden it was a mistake?
Blaine wished he could make sense of this entire mess of a situation - but he can’t. He just wished his memories would come back, maybe then it would become a little clearer. Maybe Kurt would talk to him then, maybe he would open up a little. Maybe he would let him love him again.
I know this seems a little one step forward, two steps back, but we're getting somewhere. I promise lol.
I would just like to formally apologize for the kiss scene and any future kiss scenes to come- my strength is angst, not romance. That's why it's taking me so long to get there lmao, but thanks for everyone who is sticking around.
Also, winter break is in two weeks so hopefully you can expect a lot of updates from me! I plan to just sleep and write winter break because I need some rest. Our closing night for the senior play was Friday, and the week and a half before that was probably one of the most stressful week and a halves of my life. It was refreshing to be able to sit down and write this.
Like always, thank you for reading! I appreciate it!