Chapter 17

Kurt makes it to the choir room before his knees give out. He collapses on the floor next to the piano, straining to breathe.

I fucked it up. It's all over.

He hears quiet but hurried footsteps approach him, but he doesn't look up. Soon Kurt sees two small feet attached to legs covered in pristine, white tights.

"Kurt?"

He doesn't respond. He doesn't even acknowledge Rachel's presence. When she crouches down and lays her small hand on Kurt's shoulder, he turns and looks at her. She sees the anguish in her best friend's face and pulls him in a tight embrace. Kurt's energy is all gone so he just collapses into her arms. But he doesn't cry. He still can't believe it's all over.

He flubbed his audition and he's not getting into NYADA. His dreams of going to New York and being on Broadway are gone. He's going to be stuck in Lima forever. A Lima Loser.

A Lima Loser who works in a strip club.

It's too depressing to face. Kurt's never felt so lost in his life.

"Blaine's here, you know," Rachel whispers into Kurt's hair.

Kurt's head shoots up and he meets Rachel's gaze.

"What?"

"In the balcony. I think he snuck in to watch you perform," she says, smiling warmly. "I don't think he wanted you to know he was here, but Kurt, you should have seen his face while he watched you sing. He was in awe. And I can't blame him."

"I was awful," Kurt says, a look of disgust on his face, the tears finally welling up in his eyes.

"You were spectacular," Rachel counters. "So you missed one note…the rest of the performance was flawless."

"I'll never get in."

"You don't know that. And besides, if you don't get in who's going to be my fabulous roommate? Who's going to keep me from making horrific fashion mistakes?"

Kurt tries not to laugh, but he immediately remembers a hideous reindeer sweater and chokes back his tears.

"You do need help with your wardrobe," he says. "Maybe I could be your personal shopper and stylist when you make it big."

Rachel pats his cheek and smiles at Kurt.

"You're going to be far to busy auditioning and rehearsing to be my personal anything," she says sincerely.

Kurt rolls his eyes at her and moves to stand, brushing off his pants. He freezes when he sees Blaine standing in the doorway.

"Hi," he says.

Kurt is speechless. Blaine looks tired and a little sad, but mostly he just looks gorgeous.

"Is that the bell?" Rachel says suddenly. She gives Blaine a conspiratorial wink and skips out of the room.

"You were outstanding," Blaine says. "Even better than yesterday."

"I missed the high F," Kurt says, refusing to make eye contact.

"It was perfect," Blaine insists.

Kurt scoffs and looks Blaine in the eye.

"Why are you here?" he asks.

"I wanted to see you."

"I don't want to see you," Kurt replies.

"I know."

The two boys just stare at each other for a moment.

"Kurt, I'm …"

"Blaine, please leave."

"But I wanted to tell you…"

"Just go."

Kurt gives Blaine an icy stare that is softened slightly by the tears forming in his eyes. Blaine feels a flicker of hope that Kurt can't maintain his anger, but he recognizes the determined look in Kurt's blue eyes. He's not going to win him over today.

"OK," Blaine says after a moment, looking completely defeated. He turns and heads for the door. When his foot hits the threshold, he stops and turns back to Kurt, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "You know, I really care about you, Kurt. And I'm really, really sorry… I hope you know that."

With that he turns and leaves. Kurt just stares after him, tears streaming down his face.

A bright red sports car pulls up to the Hummel-Hudson residence at precisely 7 p.m.

Finn watches from the porch as a tall, angular-looking boy emerges from the vehicle. His hair is styled almost as perfectly as Kurt's. Finn wonders how they get it to stand so high and if maybe Rachel would like it if he changed his hair style a bit.

He stops cleaning his cleats and stands up to greet the approaching stranger.

"I'm Sebastian. Is Kurt home?" he asks.

Finn smiles at Sebastian. Any friend of Kurt's is automatically his friend these days. He reaches out his hand and introduces himself. Sebastian shakes his hand and smirks at him.

"Yeah, I'll go get him," Finn says. "You wanna come in?" Finn gestures toward the front door and Sebastian follows.

"Have a seat. I'll be right back."

Finn heads to Kurt's room and finds him sitting at the vanity fixing his hair.

"Dude, some guy named Sebastian is here …"

Finn trails off when he notices what Kurt is wearing. It's shocking even for Kurt. His shirt is a crazy print of swirling colors and so skin tight that Finn can see every muscle in his upper body. It barely covers his torso. His black pants are tighter than usual — if that's even possible — and slung low on his hips. A studded belt accentuates his slim frame. Even his hair is different; it's wild and spiky. And is that eyeliner?

Finn just stares open-mouthed for a minute before Kurt speaks.

"Tell him I'll be ready in five minutes," he says and returns to putting the finishing touches on his hair.

"Uh…sure," Finn mumbles, still staring at Kurt's reflection in the mirror.

"Was there something else?" Kurt asks, turning to face Finn with an exasperated look on his face.

"Dude, you look…"

"Yes?" Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, it's uh, kind of…slutty, Kurt."

Kurt huffs out a small laugh.

"Yeah, well that's kind of the point," he says.

Finn still looks confused and he blinks a few times at Kurt before speaking again.

"You're going out with that Sebastian guy?"

"It would appear so."

"Wearing that?"

Kurt rolls his eyes at his stepbrother. How was he ever into this guy? He's so incredibly clueless. Kurt hates to admit it, but even after all this time, he still finds it incredibly endearing. Only now when he looks at Finn with that confused look on his face, he feels brotherly affection for him, rather than that fluttery feeling that used to plague him. He tries to ignore that he's been getting that fluttery feeling again whenever he looks at, talks to, or thinks about Blaine.

Blaine.

He almost has to shake his head to clear the thought from his mind. Finn is still waiting for a response to his obvious question.

"Yes, Finn. I'm going out with Sebastian tonight and I'm going to wear this outfit while doing so." He gives Finn a look that he hopes says "this conversation is over," but when Finn doesn't make a move to leave, he adds, "Is that all?"

"It's just…are you sure you want to send that kind of message, Kurt?"

"And what message is that exactly?" Kurt asks, daring Finn to dig himself into that hole.

"Well, dude…you look like you're kind of asking for it?"

"Hardly," Kurt replies. "Listen, can we talk about this later? I'm kind of running late."

Finn studies Kurt's face for a minute. He really does feel protective of Kurt, even though they aren't "real" brothers. But ever since their parents had gotten married last year, Finn just wants to protect Kurt from, well…everything. But it's obvious Kurt's not going to explain this right now, and Finn knows better than to push.

"OK, dude. Later. I'll tell Sebastian you'll be out in a minute."

"Thanks," Kurt says returning his gaze to the mirror.

Kurt sits and stares at his reflection for what feels like hours, but is probably only been a few moments.

"You can do this," he says aloud to his reflection.

Kurt studies the shape of his face, the way his blue eyes are brighter than normal thanks to the heavy, kohl-colored smudges framing them. He studies the crazy, but carefully styled, shape of his hair, the way it frames his face in a new way. He likes the way he looks, even if it is completely different than the way he normally dresses.

Sitting on the floor of the choir room after his botched NYADA auditions, Kurt had made up his mind that if he was going to get stuck in Lima working at Shades for the rest of his life, he was going to look the part. So he figured he might as well start dressing like a stripper now. And if he was going to continue working at Shades, he had to make good on his deal with Sebastian. Kurt still didn't want his dad to know what he was doing with his Friday and Saturday nights.

He had gotten the inspiration for his outfit from Mike's outrageous club attire. In fact, Kurt had borrowed his incredibly tight shirt from him. It was a little louder than Kurt would have liked — he usually preferred more muted tones with a hint of color thrown in — but the cut of the garment certainly emphasized every part of him that it clung to.

In spite of his disgust at having Sebastian touch him previously, Kurt knew he was going to have to shove that aside to keep Sebastian from spilling his secret to his family and all his friends. So Kurt takes a deep breath and forces his face into his best fake smile. Even if he isn't getting into NYADA, it can't hurt to keep working on his acting skills.

He grabs his phone from the nightstand where he had left it to charge that morning and heads for the living room.

Blaine hadn't gone home right after he left McKinley because he felt like he needed to clear his head. Somehow he ended up at the Lima Bean sitting at the table that he and Kurt had so often shared, just thinking about where he'd gone wrong and how much he wanted to make everything right with Kurt.

He couldn't stand to think of all the hurt he had seen plastered across Kurt's beautiful face the last two days. It made his heart ache and tighten in his chest and he had to blink to force back tears. He would do anything to see a smile on that boy's face, even if just for a moment.

Suddenly it hits him full force. He's falling in love with Kurt Hummel. He's only known him for a few weeks, but there it is. He's falling for Kurt. It's simultaneously the most frightening and the most wonderful feeling in the world. But Kurt is just everything he wants. Everything he never knew he needed.

It occurs to Blaine that they're like two compass points, north and south, exact opposites in nearly every way, but still so alike and so very right for one another. Even their vocal ranges emphasize their opposing forces: tenor, countertenor.

Blaine can feel the pull and the ever-present connection between them. No matter what Kurt says, Blaine knows they should be together. He knew it from the moment he saw him dance on the stage at Shades. And it's all he ever wanted.

It suddenly doesn't matter what he's done or what Kurt's done. He just wants the tall, gorgeous boy with stunning blue eyes and thick brown hair for his own. He wants to hear Kurt's angelic voice every day for all of eternity. He wants to hear him say good morning and good night, and one day "I love you." He wants to hear Kurt singing cheesy pop songs in the shower and Happy Birthday to his friends. He wants it all, and he wants it forever.

Kurt Hummel may be stubborn, but Blaine Anderson is persistent. And if there's one thing he's good at it's charming the pants off of people and making them like him. Now he just needs a plan.

Sebastian is sprawled lazily on the sofa, thumbing through a magazine when he hears Kurt clear his throat. Sebastian looks up and his mouth drops open when he sees Kurt, arms crossed, leaning lightly on the doorway.

"Ready to go?" Kurt asks with a smirk.

Sebastian's eyes trail up the length of his body, pausing at where Kurt's midsection is barely exposed above his waistband, noting the hint of Kurt's black briefs sticking out. The fabric of Kurt's shirt is stretched so tightly he's wearing it like a second skin. Something about it takes Sebastian's brain back to that night at Shades, and his pants feel suddenly tighter.

"I hope you don't have an early curfew, Hummel, because I've got plans for you," Sebastian says suggestively.

"My dad usually doesn't wait up," Kurt says with an indignant huff. "Why?"

"We're going to Columbus."

"What? Where?"

"Columbus…Ohio," Sebastian says, teasing Kurt. "Perhaps you've heard of it."

"Oh, fuck you," Kurt says, not even bothering to hide his annoyance at Sebastian's glib manner. "You do realize it's two hours away?"

"Which is why I picked you up at 7. Even if we hit traffic, we should get there just as things are kicking off."

"What kinds of things?" Kurt asks suspiciously.

"You'll see. Now get your coat and let's go, cupcake."

Kurt resists the urge to bite back with his own retort and reluctantly grabs his coat out of the hall closet. He follows Sebastian to his car, determined to play his part to the letter tonight, even if it kills him.

He folds himself into the passenger seat and looks over to Sebastian, who is starting the car.

"Why do I have a feeling you have some sort of insane plan for tonight?"

"Hummel, you have no idea," Sebsastian replies, raking his eyes over Kurt's body another time.

The lingering scan makes Kurt instantly self-conscious, and he pulls his coat tighter around himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Sebastian turning up the heat.

Touché.