Chapter 15

Blaine is early for his date with Kurt, so he's surprised to see Kurt already sipping from a large cup at their usual table. Blaine's so excited to see him — perched gracefully in a chair, a thick scarf draped around his long neck, brown hair perfect as ever, and a soft smile on his lips — that he almost forgets what he wanted to tell Kurt. Well, what Cooper wanted Blaine to say, anyway.

After he had gotten over the shock of hearing that his little brother had been blackmailed into dating Sebastian Smythe, Cooper had insisted that Blaine just tell Kurt; stop delaying the inevitable. The advice had sounded perfect at the time, but now that he's seen Kurt sitting in the softly lit coffee shop, looking damn near perfect, Blaine's not sure he can go through with it.

Blaine clearly remembers Cooper's words from the night before: "You went on a date with Sebastian for this guy. I think you've already proven you're crazy about him. Just tell him the truth."

The truth? The truth is he wants Kurt to quit working at Shades and for the two of them to just be together. The truth is he's afraid that if he tells Kurt he broke his promise, it will all be over before it starts. He just doesn't want to face that. And Blaine really wants to keep that adorable smile on Kurt's face. He'll never get enough of those dimples or the way Kurt's face scrunches up and makes his eyes all squinty when he really smiles.

Thinking of Kurt's smile makes Blaine smile. He's glued to the spot watching Kurt sip his coffee and grinning like an idiot, and he doesn't even care.

Blaine doesn't realize he's been blocking the doorway to the Lima Bean until a young woman with blonde hair and too much eyeliner barks out, "I said, excuse me!" Apparently she'd asked him to move before.

Oops.

Moving too quickly, Blaine trips a little trying to get out of her way, and when he glances up again, Kurt is looking right at him, trying to hide a laugh behind his hand. Blaine can't help but laugh back. By the time Blaine reaches the table, Kurt is gasping for air and his eyes are watering.

"I'm sorry," he says. "It's just….you were flailing your arms….and… that lady looked at you….like….just…and she….her face. And your face. And then, I tried not to laugh…but…oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Blaine says, still laughing at himself. "Not one of my more, uh, graceful moments, though."

"No…definitely not." Kurt's smile reaches all the way to his eyes, the lingering tears making them sparkle. Blaine thinks he's never seen anything so stunning in his entire life. He could get lost in Kurt's eyes for days.

Blaine's often been told that his own eyes are beautiful: "they're so big and expressive; I've never seen anything quite like it." And sure, he's constantly getting fawned over about the indefinable color of them: "Wow, they're like the color of honey!" But the truth is, Blaine considers them plain-old hazel and doesn't really see the big deal. In fact, Blaine prefers the blue depths of Kurt's eyes. They sparkle with a hint of green in the right light, and Blaine is certain they are far superior to any other color of eyes he could imagine.

He doesn't realize he's staring again until Kurt looks away, blushing slightly.

"Um…I uh…."

Kurt starts giggling again as he takes a sip from his coffee. Blaine thinks it's the sweetest sound he's ever heard.

It's also really distracting.

Blaine tries to tell Kurt about his slip up. He really does. But every time he tries, Kurt distracts him. Well, it's not Kurt's fault exactly. Not unless you want to fault a guy for looking completely fucking gorgeous all the time. Kurt can't really be held responsible for Blaine fantasizing about running his fingers through thick brown hair or daydreaming about trailing his fingers along Kurt's slender, but well-defined arms. And it's definitely not Kurt's fault that every time he laughs, Blaine's smile grows even larger. It just can't be helped.

But it's very distracting. And truth be told, Blaine's not really trying that hard to tell Kurt about the Sebastian incident. Does he really need to know? It's not fair to him to worry him unnecessarily. Obviously Sebastian hadn't said anything to Kurt's friends or family — or even Kurt for that matter — otherwise he'd have heard about it by now. Right?

So Blaine keeps pushing the conversation back.

I'll tell him after he finishes his coffee. He should get to enjoy it first.

I'll tell him after he stops laughing. I don't want to ruin his good mood.

I'll tell him.

Blaine is just about to suggest going somewhere else so they can talk when Kurt starts collecting their empty cups and Blaine's used sugar packets.

"Let's get out of here," he says.

"OK," Blaine says.

I'll tell him after we get out of here.

We'll go someplace quiet, and I'll tell him.

I will.

"I'm just going to hit the little boys' room before we go," Kurt says to a distracted Blaine, who just nods.

No sooner than Kurt disappears behind the bathroom door, Blaine feels his phone buzz in his pocket.

Cooper
How'd it go?

Cooper always did have impeccable timing.

Blaine
Still going.

Cooper
Chicken. Quit stalling.

Blaine
I'm not stalling. It's just not that easy.

Cooper
We already went over this. If you don't tell him it's going to keep eating away at you.

Blaine
I know, but what if I hurt him? I don't think I can take that.

Cooper
He deserves to know. It wasn't your secret to tell.

Blaine
You're right….I hate it when you're right.

Cooper
I know. : (

Cooper
It's going to be fine, you know?

Blaine
I hope so.

"You ready?" Kurt asks, as he approaches the table.

Blaine nods as he rises to standing and follows Kurt out of the coffee shop and into the warm afternoon sunshine. It's the kind of spring day you live for in Ohio: sunny with a light breeze, the temperature just barely reaching the 70s. Perfect.

Blaine feels as if Mother Nature is mocking him.

He looks over at Kurt, who glances back when he feels Blaine's eyes on him. His eyes catch the light and Blaine can see a hint of green. His stomach flips unexpectedly and Blaine loses his nerve again.

I can't tell him.

So the two boys spend the day just being together, not really talking about anything too deep or making any definite plans. They go shopping almost by accident. Kurt buys a new pair of shoes…on sale. Blaine buys some staff paper so he can write some new songs. They walk and hold hands. They eat soft pretzels and share a Coke.

And every time Blaine tries to tell Kurt that he blabbed to Sebastian about the dancing, he chickens out.

So when Kurt asks Blaine to come to McKinley on Tuesday to help him put the finishing touches on his audition piece for NYADA, Blaine says yes. But he doesn't say anything else.

I'll tell him after his audition.

I will.

Kurt is so blissed out and distracted from his day with Blaine that he doesn't notice an unfamiliar car parked on the street in front of his house. He just gets his key in the door when he hears footsteps behind him.

"Hi, princess."

On reflex, Kurt flinches and pulls his arms up to protect himself. He stumbles a little from moving too quickly.

"Easy there, tiger." A long, muscular pair of arms reach up to grab Kurt and keep him from falling over backwards.

"What are you doing here?" Kurt says, shoving Sebastian off of him and turning the key in the lock.

"Oh, come on…you know you're a little happy to see me."

"Wrong as usual," Kurt says, glaring furiously at Sebastian. "What do you want?"

"Stop playing dumb," he says, trailing a finger around Kurt's ear and down his neck. Kurt scowls and pulls just out of Sebastian's reach.

"Oh, believe me…I know what you want," he hisses through gritted teeth and looks around to make sure none of his neighbors can see them. "I'm just wondering what the fuck you're doing at my house. Or better still, how did you find out where I live?"

Kurt doesn't wait for an answer before shoving Sebastian into the hopefully empty house.

"Dad? Carole? Finn?" he calls out.

No answer.

"Looks like we're all alone," Sebastian says, snaking an arm around Kurt's waist and pulling him in close.

Kurt thinks he might pass out from fear. If not for the underlying current of loathing and complete and utter rage Kurt feels surging through his body at the thought of Sebastian touching him again, he might have collapsed on the spot.

He somehow manages to pull out of Sebastian's grip and get a few steps away before he hears the back door opening and Burt's voice calling out, "Hey, anybody home?"

Kurt's eyes go wide with terror before turning to Sebastian and whispering, "Keep your filthy mouth shut." Sebastian smirks at him, and Kurt knows he'll pay for this later, but he'll be damned if he's going to risk everything by letting Sebastian have control of a conversation with his dad.

"In here, dad," he calls out.

Burt walks into the living room with his head down, examining a spot on his pants.

"Hey, do you know how to get hollandaise out of denim? Carole and I had breakfast before her shift and I spilled Eggs Benedict all over me." He looks up and sees Sebastian standing next to Kurt.

"Oh, I didn't know you had company," Burt says.

"Sebastian was just leaving," Kurt says, giving the taller boy a pointed look. "Weren't you?"

"Yeah," he says not breaking eye contact with Kurt. "I uh…need to get home. I just stopped by to confirm our plans for Wednesday night….we said 7, right Kurt?"

"I uh…"

"I'll pick you up. That is…if that's all right with you, Mr. Hummel," he says looking over at Kurt's dad.

"Call me Burt," he says, offering a warm smile. "And yeah, that's fine."

Sebastian turns back to Kurt with a smile on his face. "Great…so 7 on Wednesday. See you then?"

Kurt gives him a tight-lipped smile and nods his agreement, trying not to make eye contact with his dad as Sebastian heads for the front door.

"Nice to see you again," he calls out to Burt before closing the door behind him.

Kurt ignores the amused look his father is giving him and leans forward to examine the stain near Burt's knee.

"Carole keeps some stain remover in the laundry room," he says. "I'll go get it."

"Just friends, huh?" Burt says with a laugh.

Kurt stands upright and rolls his eyes as he tries to figure out what to say. He does not want his dad thinking he and Sebastian are dating. The thought alone makes his stomach curdle.

"Dad, he just wants help with an audition piece," Kurt says, pretending to fix the buttons on his dad's shirt so he can avoid eye contact.

Another lie. Why does he keep lying all the time?

"Sure, kid…whatever you say," Burt says, smiling at his son before heading for his recliner and grabbing the TV remote.

Kurt stares at the back of the recliner for the moment, debating telling his dad about his secret and ending this whole charade. He even opens his mouth and takes a breath, ready to confess the whole sordid mess. The words are forming on his tongue when the front door opens and Finn bounds in, sweaty and red-faced.

"Oh good. I haven't missed any of the game!"

Finn flops down on the sofa, and Kurt just stares at them, tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

"I'm just going to go finish up some homework in my room," he says to no one in particular.

On Monday at school, Kurt can hardly concentrate. Between his excitement about his fledgling relationship with Blaine, his anxiety over his pending NYADA audition and the disgusting reality of the situation with Sebastian, Kurt is a ticking time bomb of emotion. He's jittery and quiet, and it's not escaped the attention of any of his friends.

"What's going on with you Kurt?" Mercedes asks over lunch.

"Hmm?" he asks, taking a bite of his food.

"You haven't said a word all morning," Mercedes says.

"Yeah, you didn't even blink when Finn suggested that we buy our competition costumes at Old Navy," Tina says.

"Oh, um…I guess I'm just nervous about my audition," Kurt says without making eye contact with anyone at the table. "I've got a lot going on." He glances up at Rachel, making a silent plea with her not to say anything.

Rachel just looks knowingly at Kurt, a sympathetic smile on her face. She doesn't say anything at lunch, but Kurt braces himself for the onslaught of Rachel Berry-ness he knows is coming.

She corners him after glee while he's searching through a pile of papers on the piano for the sheet music for his audition piece.

"Kurt," she says softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He freezes and braces himself for her questions. He'd had all day to prepare for this, and he's still not sure what he wants to say to her. She knows about the job and Blaine and the audition, but not about Sebastian.

Kurt turns to face Rachel and gives her a forced smile.

"Do you need to talk?" she asks.

Yes….and no.

"I'm just nervous about my audition," he says.

"Kurt," she says again, trying to get him to look her in the eye. "Are you sure that's all it is?"

He nods and continues searching the pile of papers.

"It's everything we've ever wanted, and it could all be over tomorrow. What if it all comes crashing down around us?"

The funny thing is he's not just talking about his NYADA audition; he's also thinking of his "plans" with Sebastian. Kurt wonders for the millionth time what Sebastian could possibly want and what will happen if he can't follow through.

"Aren't you freaking out?" he asks, trying desperately to take the focus off himself.

"Oh my god, yes!" Rachel exclaims before launching into a frenzied monologue about how she hasn't had anything to drink for a week that wasn't herbal tea with lemon and honey. If there's one way to distract Rachel Berry from anything, it's getting her to talk about herself.

Kurt sighs and zones out as Rachel rambles on about wardrobe selection and the various benefits of changing her audition piece to another key.

Blaine makes it to third period without seeing Sebastian, which is just fine by him. But the inevitable is coming: chem lab. And an hour of working in close proximity to the one person he never wants to set eyes on again.

The bell rings and Mr. Burke starts taking attendance. Blaine looks around the room wondering how he could have missed seeing Sebastian walk in, when he realizes the room is clearly missing a lanky brunette with more swagger than sense. He's not sure if he wants to sigh with relief or jump for joy. Granted, this means he'll be starting the next phase of their lab by himself, which really does require two pairs of hands, but right now Blaine just doesn't care. He's free from Sebastian for now.

The rest of the day passes without even a glimpse of Sebastian, and Blaine can't believe his luck. He had a day free from the torment of Sir Smythe of Sexual Innuendo, Lord of Leering, and he's seeing Kurt tomorrow. Maybe his luck is changing.

Sebastian skips school on Monday. He can't stand the thought of being at Dalton right now. He tells himself it's not because Blaine rejected him. It's just because he's not in the mood to listen to pompous middle-aged men ramble on about subjects he'll never need in the real world. Not that he is ever in the mood for that, but he really can't be bothered today when he's got to plan his adventures in blackmail, starring Kurt Hummel.

Blaine might have backed out of their deal, but Kurt has much more to lose, and Sebastian knows that kind of desperation leads to poor decisions. Besides, if he can't have Blaine, then Kurt fucking Hummel sure as hell can't have him either.

Much like Monday, Tuesday is pretty much an uneventful day for Blaine. Sebastian is back in school, but Tuesdays aren't a lab day in chemistry, so he manages to avoid him for the entire period, even though Blaine can feel Sebastian watching him out of the corner of his eye. He refuses to make eye contact. When the bell rings, Blaine is the first one out the door.

By 2:45, he's sitting in his English class, tapping a pencil nervously on his notebook and watching the second hand crawl ever slower around the face of the clock. In another 15 minutes he'll be free to make the drive to McKinley where Kurt is waiting for his help with his NYADA audition.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. The teacher says something about starting Macbeth next week. Blaine glances at the clock. Only five excruciatingly long minutes left.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Something about an essay due Friday on the poem they just read. Two minutes to 3, and Blaine starts tapping faster.

Tapity. Tap. Tapity. Tap. Just one minute left, and then blissfully, the day is over.

"See you gentlemen tomorrow."

Blaine is out of his seat and halfway to the door by the time the bell rings; he runs out the front door and practically sprints for his car. The drive to Lima seems to take longer than normal, but Blaine is going as fast as he can without being completely reckless.

When he pulls into the parking lot, he glances at his phone and sees he has a text.

Kurt
You here yet? I'm dying to know what you think of changes I made to the second verse.

Blaine
Just pulled up. Where is the auditorium again?

Kurt
I'll come get you. Just stay put.

When Blaine sees Kurt, dressed in a pair of distressed jeans, an expertly fitted shirt and vest, complete with a black skinny tie (that is just begging to be pulled), his heart feels like it's going to leap out of his chest. It doesn't matter how many times he sees Kurt in person, it never ceases to amaze him just how handsome and …well, perfect…Kurt looks.

"Hi," he says, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hi, yourself," Kurt says grabbing Blaine by the wrist and tugging him forward. "Come on…I've only got the auditorium for an hour."

Blaine just lets himself be pulled along and tries to keep up with Kurt's long stride. Whenever Cooper walks too fast for him, Blaine always gets annoyed. Why can't taller people remember that he can't walk that fast? But right now all Blaine can think of his how impossibly long Kurt's legs are and how great his ass looks in that pair of jeans. Maybe lagging behind isn't so bad after all.

When they reach the auditorium, Kurt practically shoves Blaine down on a stool on the stage.

"OK, so be honest. Don't hold back. I need your full opinion on this if I'm going to nail this audition."

"Well, I don't even need to hear it to know you'll blow them away," Blaine says. "But I'll try to keep an open mind."

Kurt rolls his eyes, but Blaine can see a hint of a smile as Kurt takes his place at the microphone. He nods to the man sitting quietly at the piano, — funny how Blaine hadn't noticed him before, almost like he's wallpaper — and the music begins. It's an epic ballad that Blaine knows well: Defying Gravity. He smiles because it's so perfectly Kurt.

Kurt's rich voice fills the auditorium and Blaine can feel goosebumps on his arms as Kurt hits some of the higher notes. The hair on the back of his neck is standing up, and it's not just from Kurt's singing. The lyrics are piercing his heart.

I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game

The song isn't even halfway over and Blaine's already made an important realization: he can't keep hiding from his mistake. This beautiful boy singing his heart out deserves to know the truth, and Blaine is going to tell him.

By the time Kurt finishes the song, Blaine's mind is so far from providing Kurt with any kind of critique — not that he needs to change a note; it's perfect — all he can do is sit in stunned silence as the final note rings out. The sound lingers in the air for a moment, and Blaine clings to it desperately, willing it to last just a little while longer. But the echo of the note recedes far too quickly and the silence in the empty auditorium feels thick and heavy.

Kurt is breathing heavily and smiling expectantly at Blaine, ready for praise and feedback from his friend.

Instead, Blaine blurts out, "I told Sebastian about your job."