Oct. 4, 2014, 7 p.m.
Courage: Transformation
E - Words: 3,758 - Last Updated: Oct 04, 2014 Story: Complete - Chapters: 51/? - Created: Jul 19, 2014 - Updated: Jul 19, 2014 210 0 0 0 0
Blaine didnt speak to Kurt for the next year, didnt touch him, didnt kiss him, because, even during his drunken tirades, his dad still kept himself aware of every move that Blaine made. He felt like one of the princesses, locked away in a high tower with only the box of the world that his window gave him to look at. And as sad as it made him to stay away, he knew that it would be even harder on Kurt to constantly rip open the wound of him leaving, day after day, hour after hour, when he would be inevitably caught by his dad, who only had his back turned for those short and sporadic hours that he went into the office. Blaine was still left his mom, but it wasnt like she even noticed that he still existed. The only time she ever left her bedroom was to get another drink, or a different man. Blaine still found ways to look out for Kurt, even though he couldnt be there physically for him.
He often watched him from that small, rectangular shape that kept him in from the outside world. He counted the minutes after the living room lights turned off to the very second that Kurts bedroom light flipped on, and then he waited all through the night until the sun came up, and so did Kurt. He stared through the window to the living room as Kurt plopped in front of his TV, gazing up at what was undoubtedly his princess movies with a pair of adoring eyes. He saw Kurt prance around his front yard, and he cried with Kurt when he went out to their flowers after the first snow hit them, and then ran back inside to get his dad so he could help them dig them up. Hed carried the bunch of them inside, most likely to get them warmed up, but one of them had fallen from his arms on the way inside.
That had drawn Blaine from his bedroom for the first time in months, and hed carefully climbed down and darted across the street. Being quiet so he didnt alert either family, hed rushed over to the tiny flower and picked it up before it could be blown away, and hed nestled it against his heart. Hed kept the flower safe in his room, in its own pink vase, hidden from his dad, who would have said that flowers were for fags and tossed it back into the snow. Blaine watched Kurt grow, just like the flower did, and he smiled on the day that Kurt turned eight years old, despite the fact that he inwardly wanted to cry. With every day, with every passing hour, Kurt became more beautiful, more grown up, more knowing, less childishly innocent. It was killing Blaine.
This was what Blaine was doing on the day that his entire world came crashing down around him, observing that perfect house that he no longer belonged to. It was early enough that only Burt was upstairs, while Kurt was still snoozing below, the older man reclined in front of the TV and sipping on a can of pop. Even though Blaine liked watching Kurt more, Burt was still just as amazing to look at. Hed been a kinder dad to Blaine than his real one ever had been. Blaine loved that whole family so much. Suddenly, as Blaine gaped lovingly at the man who he wanted to be carried around by just once more, just to feel those fatherly arms enwrapping him and protecting him, something drew his attention away from Burt, the same thing that pulled Burts unwavering attention from the TV.
Blaine furrowed his brows at Burts phone, which he stared at with an expression of a man who was looking upon a stranger who had just broken into his home. Burt finally clicked to answer the call, and he held the phone up to his ear. Blaine leaned closer as if he could somehow hear the conversation. Within seconds after starting the conversation, Burt jerked the phone away from his face, a horrified expression overwhelming it and stretching his wrinkles and firming up his mouth. He rose to his feet, his hand flying up to his chest as he doubled over. Worried that something was wrong with Burts heart, Blaine quickly pressed on his window, pushing it open just enough for him to slide out. He scrambled down the side of his house, not watching his footing as he descended, and plunked to the ground. Getting his awkward footing back, Blaine ran across the street and onto their lawn, staring with huge eyes into the window as Burt pressed his face into his hands, bawling with abandon about whatever had made him so sad.
Slinking over to the window, Blaine pressed his hands to the glass, watching Burt collapse into a squatting position, his body only held up by the hand that was resting on the coffee table. He wondered if he should go in and try to help Burt, in case he was in any physical pain, but Burt suddenly raised his head, howling with a broken voice. "Kurt! Kurt, come up here!" Taking a step back, Blaine hid behind the side of the wall, his eyes catching the movement of Kurts door pushing open, a tiny, white nose cautiously poking out. At the sight of his son, Burt broke down into wild tears, holding his arms open for him. Kurt quickly scampered into his dads warm grip, and Blaine watched Burt tenderly smooth his sons messy hair and rumpled pajamas.
Kurt pressed a light hand to his dads cheek, and then he leaned down and kissed the top of his balding head, "Why are you sad, Daddy?"
Burt straightened up for the sake of his son, placing his strong hands on his shoulders and looking into his big, blue eyes. "You really do have your moms eyes." He said in a hoarse voice, and then he shook his head and brought his son closer. "Kurt, baby, listen to me... your aunt wants us to come to France as soon as we can. Your m-mom is..." he choked on the next word, his hand raising to his eyes and wiping away the tears. "Your mom is gone, Kurt. She cant be with us anymore. We have to go say goodbye, okay?" At the startled look that Kurt gave him, Burt hugged his son tighter, rocking him back and forth. "Its going to be us from now on, bud. You know that youll always have me, dont you, Kurt? Ill never, ever leave you."
Kurts eyes became teary, even though Blaine could tell he still didnt understand what his dad was talking about. "Where did Maman go?"
Blaine, not wanting to hear the response, backed away from the window, staggering across the yard. He wanted away from the family who had just lost his everything, because seeing them cry would just make him cry, even though he felt he didnt deserve to. Elizabeth hadnt even been his mom, even though it really felt like, for a long time, she was. Climbing back up to his room, Blaine shut himself inside and closed the curtains, and only pulled them apart when, days later, he heard unusual beeping from across the street. He saw all of the moving trucks pulling out of Kurts driveway, and by the end of the week, Kurt was gone. As they drove away, Blaine helplessly clawed at his window, as if he could scratch his way out and somehow chase after them. "Stay." He begged, his voice thick with tears that had swelled like small bubbles in his throat. "Please stay. I love you."
But the car that had Kurt in it didnt turn out, so Blaine angrily screamed after it, "You didnt say goodbye to me! You have to come back so I can tell you goodbye!" Raising his shaking hand to his face, Blaine covered his vision, which was becoming blurry. "I never got to say goodbye." He sank to his knees, dropping his forehead to the scratchy carpet, and he cried. He couldnt remember when he stopped.
Hunter saw no way out of this life that he was living, which was why he saw no other option than to hunch himself over his desk for the past hour, his quivering, numb hand clutching that cool, sharp metal as if it was all he had left. He had the gun pressed to his chest, where he unconsciously stroked the trigger, over and over, shifting it back and forth. He probably would have done it by now, killed himself, had it not been for the faint thought that he could still see. "I can see some things." He told himself, letting the gun fall to the floor as he pushed away from his desk, going over to his dresser. He reached inside and pulled out a box, and then he dumped the contents of that onto his desk. Picking up a single stick, Hunter scrubbed it against the edge of the box, vigorously waiting to feel that spark of heat against the backs of his fingers.
To his relief, he saw it before he even felt it, the light glow of fire as it burned off of this stick. He couldnt make out anything that it was flashing upon, but it was there, a light spot in his usually dark eyes. "I can see some things!" He shouted, bringing the light so close to his face that he felt the heat singe his lashes. "I can see some things! I can see some things!" Smiling at the flame, Hunter didnt even feel the pain of the fire when it burned the stick to a charred nub. All he cared about was that his vision was still there, albeit not quite good enough to get him home yet. But there was still a chance. It was very small, like Archer once was, and probably still was, but it was there, just like he was. Archer was always there, so Hunter wanted to be there for him. "Ill find you. Ill find you... I promise. I love you, Archer."
Hunter hadnt seen color for so long, but, suddenly, in the back of his mind, he made out a faded and dimmed image of Archers blue eyes, appearing and reappearing as he playfully teased Hunter with a game of peek-a-boo. "Do you see me, Hunner?" He used to giggle until it seemed like his entire body would explode with laughter. "Do you see me now, Hunner? Youre a liar! Im telling Daddy! You cant see me, Hunner! Im hiding from you!"
Placing the burnt match on his dresser, Hunter reached down for his gun and held it in his hand like it was something of value. "I can see you, Archer." He whispered, rising from his chair as he put the gun aside. "Youre not hidden from me anymore."
Hours after an emotional parting from his teary husband that left his heart heavy, and a long flight that left him bedraggled and jostled, and a nerve-wracking while of sitting next to his brother in a stiff seat that left his back sore, and his hand cramped up from filling out form after form, Blaine finally found himself in front of the home that Cooper had moved his family into, the same house that Archer, his new son, was inside of at this very moment. Suddenly becoming nervous, even though hed once thought of Archer as his son so long ago, Blaine glimpsed over at his brother, who gave him an endearing smile before he leaned over and kissed his forehead. "I take it you dont want to chat over the football game thats on now." He teased, a smile lighting up his perfectly sculpted face when Blaine shook his head. "Ill get Archers bags together. Go inside... I think your son will want to say hello to you."
Hearing Cooper say that word made everything so much more real, and, before he could reach over for his door handle, he flung his hands up to his face, which became hot and watery. Cooper laid a hand on his back, tenderly rubbing him, "Hey... Blaine, its okay now. Archers all yours. All Alicia and I did was give birth to him... Hes your baby." Abruptly, Blaine twisted his body toward his brother, and he threw his arms around his neck. Just as Blaine was about to tell him of how thankful he was, Cooper wrapped him up tighter and whispered in his ear, "Thank you for being a good dad to him, Blaine. Now go inside and hug him. Im not the one you adopted."
"I love you." Blaine blurted, feeling his brother press a kiss to his sideburn. As soon as Cooper let him go, he turned back around and grabbed the car handle, jerking it out of place. Shoving the door aside, Blaine flung himself from his seat, and he jogged up to the porch. Alicia, who had stayed home with Archer while her husband worked with Blaine on filling out the forms, was already waiting there, and she gave Blaine a kind smile. Blaine went by her, his eyes searching the living room, which was empty, except for boxes of toys. "Archer." Blaine whispered, recognizing a few of the stuffed dolls that were draped over the tops of boxes that had been torn open, obviously because Archer missed his toys too much to let them be abandoned in dark boxes for long. "Archer."
Looking at the stairs, Blaine strode over to them, putting his foot on the bottom one. Cooper had told him that Archers room was upstairs, so he noiselessly padded up each one. When the closed doors came into his view, he instantly paused on the one that had pictures pasted on it, each of the pieces of paper colored with five people, and two birds, which made Blaine smile. Getting to the top step, Blaine walked over to the door, and he put his hand on the doorknob. He twisted it, pushing it aside just enough to give himself a few inches to see inside. Resting on a pink bed was a small lump that was wrapped up in stuffed animals, a sight that made Blaine choke out a sob. "Archer." He whispered, watching the dark curls that were draped across a white pillow move as his tiny head lifted. He was facing away from Blaine, so he had to roll over in order to see who was visiting him. When he finished blinking his owlish eyes, he focused on Blaine, and his red, tiny mouth instantly fell open. "Archer... Daddys here."
"Daddy!" Archer screamed, scooting to the edge of his bed and thumping to the floor. Collapsing onto his knees, Blaine held his arms open for his son, who skittered into them and lassoed him in his chubby arms. Blaine burst into tears as soon as he drew Archer to his chest, feeling his baby nuzzle under his chin and purr happily.
Falling back onto his butt, Blaine scooped Archer up and plopped him across his thighs, rocking him back and forth. "Daddys here... Daddys right here. Youre coming home, Archer. And guess who wants to see you? Your père and your uncle and Pavarotti and Everett."
"Did they miss me?" Archer squeaked, grabbing Blaines face so he could decorate it in slobbery kisses. "Daddy, guess what? One of my tiny teeth fell out... and now a bigger tooth is there! Uncle Cooper said that I should put it under my pillow... so I did! And guess what else? I woke up... and there was a quarter there! I asked where it came from, and Uncle Cooper said that the Tooth Fairy visited me! She must be really nice."
Blaine buried his face in his sons hair, raising his eyes to the shadow that appeared in the doorway. As he kissed Archers curls, he smiled at his brother, who smiled back at him. "Your uncles right about that. The Tooth Fairys really nice. If you want her to visit more, I guess Ill just have to yank out the rest of your teeth!"
Archer quickly sucked in his lips, saying through a muffled voice, "No, Daddy! They have to fall out when theyre ready! All of my other tiny teeth are too shy right now!"
Chuckling at that, Blaine squeezed Archer back to his chest, whispering to him, "Of course everyone at home missed you, Archer. What about you wouldnt they miss?" He grabbed his sons waist and flipped him over his shoulder, scratching his fingernails down his sides. "But the tickle monster missed you the most!" As Archer giddily squealed, Blaine boosted himself up to his feet, meeting his brother face to face for the first time since hed seen him interact with Archer as his dad. Patting Archers bottom to still his kicking legs, Blaine held his other arm out for Cooper, who warmly embraced him. "Thank you, Cooper."
Cooper shrugged a shoulder, and then playfully narrowed his eyes at Blaine, "Hey... part of this deal is that I see him at least five times a year! Dont make me the distant uncle!"
Blaine grinned at his brother, "You can be in whatever parts of Archers life you want... You gave him to me. Im willing to lay the world at your feet. But I want all of his life." Bouncing Archer a few times, Blaine laughed at the funny sounds he made, "Are you ready to go home, sweetheart? Daddy is more than happy to take you with him."
A few hours later, just before the sun set, Blaine pulled up in front of his home in France, seeing that most of the lights were still on, obviously because everyone within was still waiting up. Over the tedious plane ride, Archer had dozed off and had remained asleep for the rest of the time, giving Blaine a few hours to call Keegan, who proudly said that Kurt had enough energy to be up on his feet every now and then, straightening up what little there was to straighten in Archers room. Blaine knew that as soon as Archer was inside, his husband would go through the few boxes theyd brought with them and redecorate that empty room, filling it once again with the life of their baby.
Stopping the car, Blaine unbuckled himself and then turned back to Archer, whose head was leaning on a soft, chewed up bunny that was wrapped around his shoulders. He smiled at his son, reaching back to unstrap him from his car seat. Archer mumbled and twitched, his arms stretching above his head as his mouth opened wide in a yawn. "Hi, lovely." Blaine whispered to him, giving Archer a doting look as he blinked awake, his hands grabbing for anything he could find of Blaine. "Were home." Picking his son up, Blaine grabbed the bunny that slid off of him and returned it to his baby, who squeezed it in tight fists and cuddled his face into its silky fur.
He stepped out of the car, his eyes opening wide when the front door of his house was flung to the side, Kurt and Keegan appearing on the other side of it. "Archer!" He heard his husbands high pitched voice, and at the sound of it, Archer woke up fully, his hands reaching out for Kurt, who was dashing as quickly as he could across the lawn, his skirt bunched up in his hands. "Archer!" A laugh echoed from his lips, becoming noisier as he came closer, and when he skidded to a stop in front of Blaine and Archer, he raised his hands and took the baby into his arms. Squeezing him to his chest, Kurt closed his eyes, a peaceful smile curving the corners of his lips. While Archer snuggled into him, Kurt opened his misty, blue eyes, looking up at Blaine with a face of absolute delight. "We have a baby now."
Blaine grinned at the happiness that lit up Kurts entire body, drawing nearer to his husband and wrapping both him and their child in his strong arms. "We have a son, Kurt. Hes ours." Picking his husband up off his feet, Blaine twirled him and Archer around in a circle, making both of them laugh until their eyes were streaming. He placed a hand at Kurts waist, watching his husband walk beside of him, Kurts eyes never leaving their baby, who was making funny faces to make Kurt giggle. They met Keegan, who gave the child a light kiss to his forehead, at the doorway, and then the four of them went inside. Kurt placed Archer on his feet so he could explore the home he hadnt been in for so long, and he remained in Blaines arms, the two of them looking out for their son, who waddled around in circles, almost as if he was looking for something.
When Archer didnt find it, he peered back up at his parents, his eyes, slightly hidden behind his heavy curls, worried, "Wheres Hunner? Is he hiding from me?"
Kurt stiffened at the question, while Blaine let his shoulders go limp with exhaustion, his body kneeling to the ground. He opened his arms for Archer once more, tucking his baby into his chest when he stepped closer to him. "Baby... we tried so hard. We just couldnt find Hunter... like we found you." Brushing a lock off of his babys forehead, he whispered to him, "Hunter wouldnt want you to spend your whole life looking for him, okay? He would want you to be happy... with just the way things are. Can you promise me... and him that?"
Archer bobbed his head, his dark curls flopping back and forth, "I promise, Daddy. But I never got to say goodbye to him."
Running his fingers through Archers silky hair, Blaine pressed another kiss to his small forehead, "I know, little love. I know. But sometimes the best thing is to never say goodbye to someone." He looked up at his husband when he felt him lay a light hand on his shoulder, "Youll understand that someday, Archer." Picking Archer up again, Blaine rested against his husbands warm body, feeling his arms wrap around his neck. "I used to not have even one beautiful thing in my life. Now I have two." He closed his eyes and kissed the two greatest loves of his life, knowing that, while he was happy, he would always be like Archer, and never be completely happy.