Ten minutes before midnight came he called Matthew’s phone, his heart sinking when he heard Matt’s voice at the other end.

“Hey Kurt.”

“Hey Matthew. Um, is Blaine, around?” Kurt stammered. He didn’t know what to say, Matthew was a good guy, someone he and Blaine would always owe but his was not the voice he wanted to hear right now.

Kurt’s phone beeped signaling another call was coming in but he ignored it, no matter who it was they weren’t as important as Blaine.

“No, is that your phone? You should get that.”

“NO? Where is he? Do you know?” he hated how high his voice got when he was upset.

“Yeah, so will you if you answer your other line, he’s calling you.”

“Oh, shit. I sent it to voice mail. Is he okay?”

“Remains to be seen my friend, but he’s been moved. I’m willing to bet that’s him trying to get you. You better go so he can call you back. Call me if you need anything, either of you.”

“Thank you, so much.” And Kurt disconnected. The number from his missed call just rang and rang, no answer so he punched the code to listen to his voice mail. Just a hang up, Blaine hadn’t said a word, if it was Blaine.

The phone buzzed in his hand and he hit answer immediately.

“Hello?”

“You sent me to voice mail.” Blaine sounded amused.

“I didn’t know, I was talking to Matthew trying to get to you. What happened?”

“They kicked me out for having sex with my boyfriend on the lawn.”

Kurt blinked about 50 times at the phone, “What?”

“I’m kidding.”

“Blaine, seriously? I’ve been so worried and you’re joking around?”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. How’s your grandmother?”

“Blaine Anderson I’m going to hang up on you if you don’t tell me what the hell is going on.”

“You’re cute when you’re all wound up. I bet you have your tongue stuck out right now.”

“Shut up.” But the smile was in his voice, he was giving in. He missed Blaine’s teasing, it had been so long.

“If I were there I’d put that tongue to better use.”

“Really? You want to have phone sex? I don’t even know where you are. Please stop this and tell me what happened.”

“If I do can we have phone sex?”

“NO!”

“Then I’m not telling.”

“What the hell has gotten into you tonight?”

“Not you, which is really too bad. Plenty of Percocet though.”

“Ah, you’re high. Well that’s lovely.”

“Not high, medicated. They moved me to a physical therapy rehab. Got my cast off.”

“Really?”

Blaine laughed, “You told me to get rid of it before you got home.”

“So I did. Was it awful?”

“My leg looks like raw hamburger, it’s disgusting, and smells so gross.”

“Too much information.”

“Thought we went beyond that when I was peeing into a bottle and handing it to you.”

“I’d rather have phone sex than this conversation.”

“What are you wearing?”

Deadpan, “A parka and snow pants. Did you have the meeting with your parents and the therapist?”

“This is the phone equivalent of you slapping my hand away from your ass isn’t it?”

“You get an A for reading subtext while under the influence. Now answer the question please.”

“Admit you want to kiss me.”

“I always want to kiss you. I take it you’re in a private room.”

“Like Dad would have it any other way. I want to kiss you too.”

“I gathered. Blaine?”

“Mmm?”

“I was really scared about what was going to happen today. I know they have you all doped up but can you please try to focus and tell me what happened at the meeting with your parents?”

“I hope it didn’t ruin your first day in New York. First tell me things were okay with your Grandma, and then I’ll tell you the whole thing.”

“She’s fantastic and so far it’s been more than I could hope for. I’ll tell you later, please now, Blaine, what happened?”

“So Mom didn’t come. Dad said she was feeling ‘under the weather’.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Yeah, that makes me a little worried, but she probably was passed out when he left and he was too embarrassed to show up with her lit. So the doctor tells me as soon as I come in that I’m being released so I can go to this rehab to relearn to walk.”

“Hooray.”

“You’d think but I kind of panicked. I know they stuck me there under false pretenses but it was starting to feel like I was getting something out of it.”

“Did you tell them that?”

“I asked if I could keep seeing the therapist. My Dad almost fell out of his chair. He said of course I could, I think at that point he thought they were talking me out of the whole ‘gay’ thing and I was starting to see the light. Then the doc tells dad that we need to discuss my relationship with you.

I could visibly see Dad stiffen. He was completely not open to the discussion but the doc really stepped up. He gave Dad some literature about it not being a choice and said that we’ve talked about this at length and he feels like our relationship is as healthy as any teen relationship. He did say that I might depend on you too much because I don’t feel like I have family support. Dad kind of balked at that but didn’t say a word. The doctor told him he thought cutting off contact between us would only make us sneak to see each other which would bond us closer together. He’s still not thrilled with the idea of us, but he did say we could talk on the phone. When I told him you were in New York he first wanted to know how I might know that, I told him Thad told me on one of his visits, and then said that while you’re there I can talk to you. When you come back we’ll have another discussion about it. I think it was his way of saying that as soon as he can he’ll stop me from seeing that therapist and then try to stop me from talking to you again but for now I can call you as much as I want, and you can call me. I told him I wanted my cell back, he said he’d give it to me tomorrow, we’ll see, in the meantime I can call all I want from my room”

“I tried to call you right back when you called before but you didn’t answer.”

“The phones don’t ring in our rooms after 10pm but we can call out whenever. AND these phones aren’t monitored AND I should be able to check email tomorrow so I better have something waiting for me if I can’t talk you into phone sex.”

“Is this what Percoset does to you? I might make a note for some day when you’re bored with me.”

“Never gonna happen baby. Who could get bored the way your eyes go almost colorless when you’re going to cry, or the way you just your hip out when you’re being flirty, or the sweet curve of your backside...”

“And we’re done here.”

“I’ll stop. Kurt?”

“What?” his voice was flat, expecting another come on.

“What if you get bored with me?”

“Don’t be stupid. You’re a spotlight hog, but you’re my spotlight hog. You need to go to sleep. I love you. I’ll send you email. Call me whenever you want, text me when you get your phone.”

“I love you. Promise me.”

“I promise I love you.”

“The other thing, promise me.”

“Oh Blaine, there’s not a single boy in Manhattan near as handsome as you, and you know how vain I am, I must have a very handsome boyfriend.”

“Liar.”

“Oh, I do lie, there was a very handsome waiter at lunch today, he practically tore my phone from my hands when he saw your picture. Wanted to know if this pretty thing was mine.”

“All yours. Why were you showing pictures of me to waiters?” Blaine’s voice was sleepy, he was going to drop off soon.

“Wasn’t,” Kurt curled onto his side ready to give in to his heavy lids himself, “showed your picture to my grandmother then was just scrolling through them when the waiter showed up.”

“Grandma already knows about us?”

“Yes”

“How’d that go?”

“She told me we’d find our own time and place where we won’t have to worry about your family or what anyone thinks. She also said that you would have been welcome to join me if she thought dad would have approved.”

“Wow. Can your family adopt me?”

“Creepy, Blaine.”

“Honey, can we just stay on the phone?”

“Okay, but behave because I’m going to put you on speakerphone so I don’t roll over and hang up on you.”

“Deal.”

They drifted off to sleep, each finally able to fully rest knowing the other was right there, reachable, if not touchable.

Around 3:30 Blaine woke to what sounded like the sound of sniffling. He looked around the darkened hospital room but heard nothing, then laid his head back on the phone, much as it hurt his ear. The sniffling was coming from Kurt.

“Baby? You okay?” he whispered into the receiver.

“Oh, oh, You’re awake. Yeah, I’m fine. Go to sleep honey.” Kurt wiped his eyes as if Blaine had walked in the door instead of coming to consciousness miles away.

“You’re crying.”

“It’s fine.”

“Talk to me.”

Kurt took the phone off of speaker and held it to his ear. “I was just, tonight my Grandmother showed me some family home movies she had transferred to dvd before she moved.”

“And it was hard to see your mom?”

“I thought I remembered her. I could close my eyes and see her, but what I see are pictures I have, not her. I don’t really remember her, moving and breathing. She didn’t really look like what I thought she did.”

“I bet she was beautiful.”

“She was, and comical. So full of life. Blaine, I wish I could have known her, she seems so… I can’t find a better word than alive and I know how trite that sounds when she’s dead but I mean,”

“Vital?”

“Yes. I love my dad but he’s the kind of guy who gets from day to day thinking about what he needs to do, how to pay the bills, keep the family together, keep the business running. Mom just seems to laugh and dance and ENJOY things more. She’s like a light, you can’t keep your eyes off of her.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t get more time with her, but now I know why you remind everyone of her so much.”

“You always know what to say. Now that you’re not all hopped up on painkillers you want to tell me how you felt about what happened today, minus the sex talk?”

“That had nothing to do with the meds. I just…” Blaine when quiet a few seconds, Kurt almost thought they’d lost the connection but then he began again, “Kurt, I miss you. I miss just sitting close to you, feeling you next to me, or your head on my shoulder, I miss holding your hand. I miss being able to look in your eyes and find my balance, but if I think about those things I’ll go out of my mind. I’ll start crying and I’m afraid I won’t stop, so instead of telling you I want to curl up and watch a movie with you, or feel you stroking my arm the way you do when you’re reading next to me I try to tell you how much I miss you by telling you how much I want you.”

Tears pricked again at the backs of Kurt’s eyes and he had to wait a minute or two before he could respond. “Most of all I miss being able to just look in your eyes and see how much you love me. I know it hasn’t been that long, but I got used to having that every day. I miss being your little spoon, feeling protected and safe next to you, not because I can’t stand up for myself but because I know you WANT to be the one slaying dragons for me. When we were watching those dvd’s tonight I actually ached to feel your arms around me.”

“I told my father, he drove me to the rehab and I figured the hell with it, it’s just the two of us in the car, there’s no one for him to pretend for, so I told him I was sorry that he walked in on us, that I knew it was inappropriate for us to be doing that in his house. I told him that I knew he didn’t understand it, but that I love you and that despite what he saw what we have isn’t about sex.”

“Did he respond?”

“He told me he thinks maybe I love you more than he ever loved mom.”

Kurt’s heart swelled then shattered with what this meant. “Oh Blaine.”

“He told me he hated that I’m gay, he finally just came out and said it. He said it ruined so much of what he wanted for me. I tried to make him tell me what it changed, and why he was so angry. He said if I’d had a better mother maybe I wouldn’t hate women.”

“Honey why didn’t you tell me all of this earlier?”

“I was too fuzzy and didn’t want to get into then.”

“Kurt? Is everything alright?” His grandmother had knocked and called through the door.

He answered her, “Yes Gran, you can come in.” then returned to talking to Blaine, “I think I woke my grandmother. Hang on just a second Honey.”

She entered, “I just thought I heard you talking, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, its okay, I’m talking to Blaine.”

She lifted her voiced in the direction of his phone, “Hello Blaine Darling!” then lowered her voice to Kurt, “Is he okay?”

Kurt shrugged, “Tough day.”

“Can I get you anything?”

“No Gran, I’m fine, thank you though.”

“Then I’ll leave you to your conversation.”

When Kurt returned to the phone Blaine was gushing, “Aww, Kurt, she sounds so sweet.”

“She is, she’s wonderful. What did you say to your dad after that?”

“I told him of course I didn’t hate women and asked him if he would read the literature the doctor gave him. He said he’d think about it. Do you know why he let you come take care of me at the house for so long? It was your dad. He said he was surprised at how your father came and stayed when I was in the hospital. He said that really made him think about things, about what we meant to one another and that it might be about more than just sex. That was the first time he’d actually thought that my sexuality might be about more than fucking, that’s what he said.”

“But then why did he put you in that place?”

“He snapped when he saw us…well, saw us. He needed that to stop, for it to just not be true. He assumed it had been going on all along and that he was right in the first place. I told him that was the first time we’d done more than kiss, tried to tell him how special it had been, how you took care of me but he didn’t want too much detail. Thing is he let me talk, he let me tell him how I felt, and what it meant to have my first time and your first time be together and after we’d gotten so close and taken things so slow. He listened without losing his temper, without telling me I was disgusting. I hate to hope Kurt, because tomorrow he could come in and tell me that I’m an abomination and he’s never going to accept me, but in the car, when it was just us, I kinda felt like he wanted to try.“