Blaine was seated at his desk, a no. 2 pencil dangling from his lips as he stared at the blank word document displayed on his computer screen. He really did regret going to that session at Paul’s house. He had to write twelve pages over the course of the weekend and he didn’t want to wind up pulling a load of bullshit out of his ass. He enjoyed music history and he liked his teacher. Turning in a less than perfect research paper was not something he was willing to do.

Besides, his parents (primarily his father) were already upset that he wasn’t pursuing a degree in political science. Getting anything less than As and Bs (“Although,  I wouldn’t mind seeing straight As,” his father would say with a strong hand on Blaine’s shoulder) would only further upset his family.

Blaine sighed, leaning back into his seat and spitting the pencil out onto his desk. He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes and resisted the urge to release a loud, frustrated groan. He usually never had this much trouble with writing papers, especially ones that were in subjects he actually enjoyed studying. Allowing his hands to fall into his lap, Blaine stared back at the screen feeling as if the blank document and the blinking curser were silently mocking him.

He typed his name in the top right hand corner.

Still, he had nothing.

“Fuck…” Blaine mumbled, resting his head on his desk.

He knew what the problem was. It wasn’t the time crunch or the obscene number of pages and words he had to come up with by Monday afternoon. Sure, that would stress him out under normal circumstances, but it wasn’t something that he couldn’t do.

His mind was constantly wandering to Kurt and that right there was his problem.

Blaine hadn’t said two words to the boy. He hadn’t said anything to Kurt, if he wanted to be completely honest. But, for some reason, the only thing that seemed to cross his mind were those clear blue eyes, the shocking paleness of his skin and the way it contrasted so greatly against the deep brown of his perfectly styled hair. Over and over in his mind, he replayed the way Kurt had said that it was “good to meet him.”

Blaine felt like a fifteen-year-old girl who had finally said hello to the boy she’d been crushing on. He barely knew this Kurt person and he was sure that Kurt had probably forgotten about him by that point. A part of him was hoping that wasn’t the case though. Blaine was fairly certain that Kurt wasn’t plagued by thoughts about the mop of curls that sat atop his head or the way he constantly caught Blaine staring at him from across the room. Blaine was pretty sure of this.

But he still hoped that Kurt was curious to know who he was. He hoped Kurt remembered that they’d met at that party and that maybe, just maybe, he would kind of want to see him again.

Blaine shot a glance toward his cell phone. He knew he could just scroll through his contacts, find Paul’s name and call to see if he wanted to meet up and hang out for a while. Before he could stop himself he picked up the phone, dialing Paul’s cell.

“Okay,” Paul began, digging into his bag of Doritos. “What made you call me at 11:00 at night when you have a twelve page research paper due on Monday afternoon?”

Blaine laughed nervously as he rubbed at the back of his neck. They were sitting in Paul’s spacious living room, an old episode of The Nanny playing on the television. There was no questioning it, Paul’s parents were loaded. It wasn’t something Blaine wasn’t used to, he didn’t exactly have any financial troubles when he was growing up either. It was something he and Paul had in common. They understood each other in that respect.

“You know that session you had last night?”

Paul nodded, a knowing smile making its way onto his face. “Yeah. What about it?”

Blaine felt his cheeks flush. He hated that he was having such a hard time talking about this with Paul. He was his best friend and it wasn’t a secret that Blaine was gay. Paul was complete and totally supportive of Blaine when it came to guys and relationships. He encouraged it, actually. Blaine was just so private when it came to those things. He wasn’t used to people being interested in that part of his life.

When Blaine didn’t say anything right away Paul sighed and dropped his chips onto the coffee table. “Is this about that kid, Kurt?”

Blaine’s eyes darted up to meet Paul’s gaze. “How did you know?”

Paul chuckled, leaning back and sinking into the couch. He lifted his legs, crossing them, and resting his sock covered feet on the coffee table. “Just a gut feeling. What did you want to know?”

“Just…” Blaine hadn’t really thought about this. He didn’t know what he wanted to know about Kurt. He didn’t want his number that was for sure. He would never have the courage to text, let alone call Kurt. He couldn’t even talk to him at Paul’s session the previous night so any form of actual communication was out the door until further notice.

“I don’t know, Paul. I just can’t stop thinking about him….”

Paul watched as Blaine leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands. He looked kind of miserable, but he knew it was only because Blaine didn’t want to be thinking about this boy. Paul had an inkling of an idea when it came to why Blaine didn’t want to be thinking about Kurt, but he decided against voicing his opinions instead opting to give his friend a little information about the boy from the party.

“Marla’s sister is dating Kurt’s step brother,” Paul began. “That’s how I know him. Sometimes Kurt will tag along when Finn, that’s his brother, goes over to Marla and her sister’s apartment. Marla kind of liked the kid, so they started hanging out here and there. Last night was only the second time I’d seen him though.”

Blaine wasn’t sure what he planned on doing with whatever information he got from Paul. He wasn’t even sure if he would even see Kurt again. He supposed he just wanted to know. He wanted to know more about that beautiful boy he’d met at the pool table.

“How—how old is he?”

Paul shrugged. “Nineteen, I think? I remember Marla telling me he just graduated high school. He may be going to the community college downtown, but I’m not sure.”

Blaine only nodded his head, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t even know why I’m so curious, man,” he said. “Why I’m even bothering with wanting to know these things? It’s not like anything is ever going to happen between us.”

Blaine chanced a glance to his right, taking in Paul’s quizzical expression. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Paul sat up in his seat. “You mean… you weren’t going to ask for his number? You don’t plan on trying to see him again? Nothing?”

“I doubt it,” Blaine said with a sigh, relaxing in his seat. “I’m not good at this, Paul. You and I both know this. The last time I tried talking to a guy I made a complete fool of myself. I’m not doing that again.”

“Jeremiah was a douchebag, Blaine. That song you sang for him was great and he made a mistake by turning you down. Besides, you don’t have to sing for Kurt. You could just… talk to him. I’m sure Marla could help you with that.”

Blaine shook his head, his frown becoming more and more evident. “No. Jeremiah had a reason to turn me down, Paul. I ambushed him at work and got him fired. It’s no wonder he doesn’t want to go out with me. And then what my dad said afterwards…. ”

Paul attempted to interject, But Blaine held up his hand in protest.

“I’m not trying anything,” he continued. “If I see him again, great, but I’m not going out of my way to make it happen. It’s not like I need the distraction anyways. I should focus on school and keep my grades up. My parents are pissed enough as it is since I’m not trying to be a lawyer.”

Paul sighed. He hated seeing Blaine look so defeated. He thought about telling Blaine that he shouldn’t let his parents dictate what he does with his life. After all, Blaine was an adult; he could make his own choices. Paul also knew that there was more to the situation than Kurt being a possible distraction. It was much more than that, he was sure of it.

“Blaine…” Paul started, his voice soft. If he was going to say anything, he knew he had to approach the topic cautiously. “You shouldn’t… I worry about you. This isn’t just about Kurt. You can’t let the fear of the way your father—“

Blaine’s eyes shot up to meet Paul’s. He didn’t look angry, but he made sure Paul knew he didn’t want to have that conversation. Not that night, at least. “Don’t.”

“Blaine, I’m only trying to help—“

“I don’t want to talk about that, Paul,” Blaine snapped, squeezing his eyes shut. When he opened them he found Paul looking at him, his face full of concern. “I’m fine. Really,” he assured his friend, his voice softer now. “This has nothing to do with my father. I need to focus on school and getting hung up on some boy isn’t going to help me with that, okay?”

Paul opened his mouth, ready to try one more time to get Blaine to open up. All he wanted to do was help. “Fine,” Paul mumbled his voice short and laced with a bit of frustration. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I just… I wish you weren’t so hard on yourself sometimes. You’re a great guy, Blaine. I hope you know that.”

Blaine nodded, forcing a smile. “Thanks, Paul.”        

The boys sat in the living room for a while longer. The tension was obvious at first, but after they began watching a few late night infomercials the stiffness lessened and they were soon joking about how ridiculous the ads were and laughing about the terrible. Once or twice Paul left the room for a beer, but Blaine didn’t say anything in fear of starting an argument. They’d already hit a rough patch that evening and he didn’t want to hit another one. They were actually having a good night and Blaine didn’t really want to ruin it.  

Around two in the morning, Blaine stood up from the couch and stretched. “I should probably go home now,” he said. “It’s pretty late and I still need to write that paper. God only knows how pissed my dad is going to be when he sees me trying to write twelve pages the day before it’s due.”

He said this with a certain lightheartedness to his tone, but Paul knew Blaine was upset about that fact that he’d be further disappointing his father.

“Alright, man. I’m probably going to head off to bed anyways,” Paul said, standing up. “Good luck with that paper, though.”

Blaine nodded, waving as he started walking toward the front door.

“Hey, Blaine?” Paul called out as he approached the staircase.

Blaine turned around, raising his eyebrows.

“Just think about it okay? And remember what I told you.”

Blaine knew right away that Paul was talking about Kurt. He looked down at his shoes not wanting to tell Paul that he was pretty sure that things were probably going to stay the way they were, that he didn’t even want to attempt to embarrass himself in front of such a beautiful boy, but he raised his head anyways and forced a smile.

“Yeah,” he responded, nodding his head. “I’ll think about it.”