April 12, 2015, 7 p.m.
Hoping One Day: Chapter 7
E - Words: 1,357 - Last Updated: Apr 12, 2015 Story: Closed - Chapters: 32/? - Created: Jun 02, 2014 - Updated: Jun 02, 2014 116 0 0 0 0
Chapter 7
After his revelation the night before, Kurt needed something, anything to help alleviate the mangled mess of thoughts running through his head. For a while he considered phoning Rachel and begging for her advice, but they spoke less and less nowadays, and Kurt knew who he needed to talk to. Kurt pulled his cell phone from his pocket, and pressed his speed dial.
"Dad?"
"Kurt? Hows it going, kid?" It was amazing that even after being on his own for so long, the sound of his fathers gruff voice still brought back all the memories of childhood. Suddenly he felt like he was twelve years old again, and talking to his dad in this state of mind was going to make this even harder. He tried to orient himself.
"Works good. Theyre talking over this trip to Italy, and one of my spies in the higher offices says they might be asking me to go. Its not a done deal yet, but itll be a huge opportunity if I get it."
"Thats great, Kurt. Im real proud of you."
"Thanks, Dad. Howre things at home?" It was a thing that they did whenever Kurt called his dad; where his dad was would always be home. It reminded Kurt where he was from and stopped him from getting caught up in the big city, and it reminded Burt that Kurt would always be back.
"Everythings fine here, Kid." Kurt told himself to relax as his father filled him in on the last week with him and Carole. Eventually, Burt seemed to pick up on his sons lack of scathing remarks and enquiries about his fathers eating habits.
"Whats wrong, Kurt?" Burt said, and Kurt knew his time to talk had come. "Something going on with you?"
"Dad..." Even after trying to mentally prepare himself, Kurt didnt know where to begin. He hoped that his father would be able to look at the situation with an open mind and not jump to conclusions before hed explained. "So, you know Blaine?"
"That guy youve been talking about lately? The next door neighbor?" At Kurts affirmative, Burt continued, "So you two finally start going out? Is that what you wanted to tell me?"
"What? No, were not dating- I mean, he is gay, but were just friends."
Burt made a contemplative noise. "I see. And thats the problem then? You want to date him." When Kurt made to interrupt. Burt said, "No, Kurt, come on. Ive heard more about this guy in the last month than anyone else youve met in the city...ever. You like him."
"Well, yes," Kurt admitted, but before his dad could say anything else, he said, "But its really complicated. He just went through a really bad breakup, and he doesnt even know that I like him."
"Well, you gotta let him decide if hes ready to move on, Kurt. Dont kill your chances ‘cause you assume he might not be ready."
"Yeah, but its more than that." Kurt wondered how he was going to say this without coming over like hed been purposefully withholding information, but couldnt think of any other way to say it. "Hes pregnant."
His dads reply was measured, and Kurt could tell he was wary. "Kurt."
"I know, its really complicated and really bad timing, but, Dad, hes so perfect. He got walked out on, and hes going through the whole pregnancy on his own, but hes so strong. Hes funny and we laugh all the time, and he cooks for me just as often as I cook for him, and he never fails to help clean up, even when I can see hes so tired from work and worrying about the baby. And hes gorgeous, and he loves his baby bump even though I know he feels really self-conscious about it now its getting bigger. I didnt mean to fall for him, Dad, but if things were different I wouldnt even have thought about letting him slip through my fingers."
His dad was silent for a while after Kurt ran out of steam and so he took to running his fingers through his hair to work out his nerves. He could feel his carefully sculpted look falling apart under his fingers, but he didnt stop.
Eventually his dad said, "I dont know what you want me to say, Kurt. This whole situation is pretty strange. But kid, the heart wants what the heart wants. I know you know what you want outta life, and if this boys it, then he must be something special." Kurt smiled at the fact that his father had gotten that right away.
"He really is, Dad."
"But, Kurt, you gotta realize a few things before you go telling him anything. Hes going to have a kid to look after. No matter how much he cares about you- no, dont interrupt, Kurt, hed be crazy not to love you- no matter how much he cares about you, youve gotta realize that you are never going to be his first priority. Thats his kid.
"Being a single parent is about the hardest thing in the world, Kurt. Raising you was the greatest thing I ever did, but it was no easy thing, and I even had your mom to start out with. Can you be okay with the fact that youll always have to come second in his life?"
Kurt took a deep breath, and said, "I know its going to be hard, but Dad, thats part of what I love about him. Hes so dedicated to his family and the babys not even here yet. Hes going to be a great dad, and I dont want him to feel like dating me is a burden, or taking away from what he has with his child."
"Thats real mature of you, Kurt."
Kurt could tell his dad was proud of his words, but he needed to know, "When you and Carole got married it wasnt just Carole that became part of your life. What was it like with, you know, taking on Finn? I mean, I was in glee with him so I already knew him, and I was allowed to yell at him in a brotherly way when he pissed me off. But you had to get used to a son that wasnt really yours. How did you do it?"
Burt heaved a great sigh, but then surprised Kurt by chuckling softly. "Finns a good kid, Kurt, and it helped that we had a lot in common. But it wasnt easy. We had to find equal footing, you see, ‘cause Im not his dad, and hes not my real son. But, Kurt, today I dont see him like that. Eventually it just became easy as anything. Not a whole lot of families are as lucky as we are, especially that you and Finn and Carole all get along like you do. Now he just seems like my kid, and having family like that is really special."
At one point Kurt might have felt jealous at his fathers affection for Finn, but those days were long gone with the insecurities of his teen years. Now he could see his fathers honesty in what to expect from a relationship with not just Blaine, but Blaines child.
"Heres what I say, Kurt. How long is that work trip thing youre going on?"
"Two weeks, but thats only if I get it."
"Maybe that time away will be good for you to clear your head. Get away from the situation a bit, and when you get back youll have a better idea of what youre getting yourself into."
That was an idea. If he went and got some separation from Blaine, maybe he would be able to see if he could handle being away from him. The idea of leaving him for two weeks was already a daunting one, but if it helped him get to the bottom of what he was feeling...
"Thanks, Dad."
"No problem, Kid. But I want regular updates on this, okay? Let me know how this plays out." Kurt smiled indulgently at his fathers words even though he was more grateful for his fathers acceptance than he could possibly say.
"Will do. Now, let me say hello to Carole."
"Okay, hang on. Love you, Kid."
"Love you, Dad."